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What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 3:34:59 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		What are the skills, behaviors, attributes and post-modern information age devices needed
for marriage in the 21st Century?
 
                      
 
Please reply in your humble or not so humble opinions with beating
each other up non-consensually.
                                 


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk
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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 3:37:46 PM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		That would depend on the marriage.  I still see the most necessary skill being a sense of humor.  When shit hits the fan, you need to be able to step back and laugh at it for what it is.

(in reply to Vendaval)
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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 3:40:03 PM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline 		Agreed on the humor, and patience, and an open mind.
 
Love doesn't hurt, either.
 
 

_____________________________

Fake the heat and scratch the itch
Skinned up knees and salty lips
Let go it's harder holding on
One more trip and I'll be gone

~~ Stone Temple Pilots

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 3:41:35 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		I like the idea of separate bathrooms and closets, whenever possible.  Cuts down on the whose messier or cleaner or organized and what the f... is that smell?

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Irishknight)
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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 3:52:05 PM   
Irishknight


Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		 
lol  my wife and I have seperate bedrooms.  I have the master bedroom with the big tub and she has her own bedroom far away from my snoring.

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 3:58:36 PM   
subtee


Posts: 5133
Joined: 7/26/2007
Status: offline 		To be an emotional pain slut and have an attorney on retainer...

...and speed dial.

tee hee

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Don't believe everything you think...

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 4:04:52 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vendaval

What are the skills, behaviors, attributes and post-modern information age devices needed
for marriage in the 21st Century?
 
                      
 
Please reply in your humble or not so humble opinions with beating
each other up non-consensually.
                                



To make getting married more painful of a process than, buying a house, having and raising two children and getting a divorce.

Then to make divorce, not an option.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 4:14:11 PM   
SugarMyChurro


Posts: 1912
Joined: 4/26/2007
Status: offline 		Be a human being. Be respectful. Be considerate. Everyone needs personal space at least some of the time.

I think separate bedrooms and bathrooms (or at least 2 bathroom sink/counter spaces) is a good idea also.

Neatness counts. You can have places where messes are allowed - work in progress, whatever. But many common spaces must be kept neat and usable by anyone that needs it.

I would observe that most american women are pigs and haven't a clue how to perform basic domestic duties (cooking, cleaning, sewing, ironing, plumbing, electrical, drywall, painting, roofing, simple carpentry, gardening, etc). For me that's usually a deal-breaker. Bitch if you wanna, but I did qualify the statement with "most." FWIW, I can do all of those things. I don't like cleaning services so I clean my own house. Skills are required - at least some up front, but also a desire to learn what one doesn't know after that.

One does meet the chocolate bon-bon types. I haven't a use for them.



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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 4:28:49 PM   
SummerWind


Posts: 314
Joined: 7/4/2007
Status: offline 		Giving a shit about things you don't give a shit about......

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 4:35:45 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		This book.

The Seven Principles to Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman. 

I also believe it is critically important to let your partner be him/herself.  So often people try to stifle their partners, so that they fit a particular mold.  Without the freedom to be who one is, what do we have?

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Good is the enemy of great.

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 4:36:44 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Seriously good communication skills and no mindfucks. Mindfucks, however attractive they may seem at times, are a marriage killer: talk, talk, talk.

And make love. A lot. An intense sex life is an absolute must.

_____________________________



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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 4:37:08 PM   
SugarMyChurro


Posts: 1912
Joined: 4/26/2007
Status: offline 		Sounds like a loser "opposites attract" script.



That's not going to work. Find someone of like mind that's going down the same road as you. You have to be looking at the same goal posts along the way too.

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 4:42:34 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Drinking the same wine, but from different cups (inspired by Khalil Gibran).

_____________________________



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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 5:10:04 PM   
Lashra


Posts: 4900
Joined: 2/9/2006
Status: offline 		Sense of humor, patience, open mind, let your partner be her/himself, communcation skills and listening skills. The ability to work together and compromise.

~Lashra


_____________________________

“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It's one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it's another to think that yours is the only path.”






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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 5:12:09 PM   
kittinSol


Posts: 16926
Status: offline 		Vendaval, is it time for a new hat :-)?

_____________________________



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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 7:36:21 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		The ability to negotiate and compromise is very important in relationships in general and marriage in particular.  Knowing when to argue and when to let something go and hold your temper is always handy.

_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Lashra)
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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 7:36:48 PM   
DomAviator


Posts: 1253
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline 		Why get married? Just go to a bar. Find an obnoxious bitch you simply cannot stand.... Then give her your credit cards, a car, let her live in your house , etc....

(in reply to kittinSol)
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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 7:41:41 PM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		That's a very lovely image...
 
Perhaps being able to be "in your cups" is a positive attribute as well.


quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

Drinking the same wine, but from different cups (inspired by Khalil Gibran).


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to kittinSol)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 7:55:02 PM   
servantheart


Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SugarMyChurro

Sounds like a loser "opposites attract" script.



That's not going to work. Find someone of like mind that's going down the same road as you. You have to be looking at the same goal posts along the way too.


I agree that being with someone of like mind is important, but there are always going to be interests that aren't shared.  I believe it's extremely important to learn about the things your partner is into because doing so allows a glimpse into another facet of their heart/mind/soul. 

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

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RE: What skills and attributes are needed for marriage? - 6/2/2008 7:56:59 PM   
LushLadyLilith


Posts: 26
Joined: 5/24/2008
Status: offline 		A lobotomy?

(Sorry- couldn't resist.)
 
Lilith

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