RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get a Mistress?

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 7:51:21 PM

Padriag

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I feel a case of the giggles coming on... either that or I'm about to reprise the role of Dr Cox in all its caustic glory... stay tuned.

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 7:51:56 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
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yes find a Mistress...then you can have 4 way sex...wooo....make sure to film it for us to see.....

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 7:53:35 PM

MAllan8958

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Whoops - left some stuff out. I have known about her involvement in the scene for a while now. I also knew about her Master, didn't like it but she said no sex was going on, and no sex has gone on yet. She has had one scene with him, alone in a hotle room which she says all that happened was she was bound and some mild spanking went on, no nudity at all. She says her hard limits are sex, but she may give oral to him or to anyone else he tells her to. She tells me he owns her now.

The UP side of this is that he has told her to work on her marriage to me (he is also married) and that she need to have sex with me at least 3 times a week. So there are some good sides, I guess.
This is very confusing to me.

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 7:54:50 PM

faerytattoodgirl

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no sex? uh huh..

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 7:55:58 PM

LadyHibiscus

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It's confusing to YOU?? eeeeh.

Dude. Counseling, get some. Or indulge in some lock-changing, a la Leatherist. He's a smart guy.

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 7:55:59 PM

MakeMeSmile4U

Posts: 710
Joined: 4/27/2008
From: South Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: blushingflower

She should not have accepted a collar or even started this relationship without discussing the implications and consequences with you.
If you are having sex with someone other than your spouse with their blessing, it's polyamory. Without their blessing, it's cheating.
And personally, a man who would collar another man's wife without the three of them discussing what that means for the three of them is not a man I'd want to be involved with, even tangentially.
The solution is not to go tit-for-tat on this. It's to discuss with your wife why she thought that making an extramarital commitment was OK without your consent, and maybe to consider if you want her to stay your wife.

MAllen - I've gotta go with blushingflower on this one. Especially since I am married and am seeking my Sir. The difference between me and your wife is that I fully discussed my desires with my husband on many occasions before taking the leap. I was/am willing to dissolve the marriage if he felt it was necessary. He doesn't. We discussed 'opening' the marriage, dissolving the marriage, filleting the marriage.. you name it, we discussed it. For now, it works for us as it stands. But that's us.

You need to take a step back and evaluate your marriage and decide if you are comfortable with sharing your wife with another. And make no mistake, unless she is really just playing games with her so-called Dom, the relationship she has with him is much more than physical.

Just my opinion...

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 7:56:21 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MAllan8958

She has had one scene with him, alone in a hotle room which she says all that happened was she was bound and some mild spanking went on, no nudity at all.

you need smacked.

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 7:58:49 PM

ProtagonistLily

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quote:

Whoops - left some stuff out. I have known about her involvement in the scene for a while now. I also knew about her Master, didn't like it but she said no sex was going on, and no sex has gone on yet. She has had one scene with him, alone in a hotle room which she says all that happened was she was bound and some mild spanking went on, no nudity at all. She says her hard limits are sex, but she may give oral to him or to anyone else he tells her to. She tells me he owns her now.

TMfuckinI already. Clearly this whole 'my wife's balling on the side' is your kink. The pic you've posted, of you on your knees, is priceless as well. Paging Dr. Cox...

quote:

This is very confusing to me.

Uh huh, sure it is sparky. I can hear Avenue Q's "the internet is for porn" hummin softly in the background....

PL

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:05:44 PM

Venatrix

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quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

. . . The pic you've posted, of you on your knees, is priceless as well . . . .

Yup, and he's even showing himself doing something useful. Time to come out of the closet.

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:07:38 PM

MidMichCowboy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MAllan8958

Whoops - left some stuff out. I have known about her involvement in the scene for a while now. I also knew about her Master, didn't like it but she said no sex was going on, and no sex has gone on yet. She has had one scene with him, alone in a hotle room which she says all that happened was she was bound and some mild spanking went on, no nudity at all. She says her hard limits are sex, but she may give oral to him or to anyone else he tells her to. She tells me he owns her now.

The UP side of this is that he has told her to work on her marriage to me (he is also married) and that she need to have sex with me at least 3 times a week. So there are some good sides, I guess.
This is very confusing to me.

Since she felt you were not man enough for her, you lost her. He is telling her to have sex with you so he doesn't have to deal with his broken marriage. You are keeping your wife supported and on ice for him. If you get off on the humiliation of that ... what can we say. If you are hurt ... don't play their game.

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:11:06 PM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Venatrix

quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

. . . The pic you've posted, of you on your knees, is priceless as well . . . .

Yup, and he's even showing himself doing something useful. Time to come out of the closet.

it looks like he is in a tent?
No wonder he can't change the locks on her....she doesn't let him in!

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:19:24 PM

CruelDesires

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She is from the Clinton school of thought that says blowjobs/oral is not sexual interaction? Im still trying to wrap my brain around that one... Years later.

CD

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:21:54 PM

cuddlemesoft

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Contact her Master and ask what is really going on. If he has any integrity he will talk with you.

Anyway it sounds as though you may not like what she is doing but if it opens the door for you to explore then you are all for it. But the question is at what cost. Fantasies of sex with outsiders is one thing. Reality is always more complicated and if you do not address the truth -that being what is going on between them, how she is feeling, and how you are feeling- then this will end your relationship for sure.

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:27:58 PM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MAllan8958

Any advice would be helpful.

Alright Gladys... just remember you asked for this.

I can't make up my mind whether you're possibly the biggest moron I've ever met, or just some humiliation junky who decided being cuckolded wasn't enough he had to go get himself a big heaping helping of public denigration on the side. But given that you've gone to the trouble of posting a profile in which you present yourself as a budding submissive... I'm gonna go with the later.

So you want your humiliation, too bad, you'll have to find it from someone else because I'm just fresh out. Next time you want to post, get honest and save everyone else here who have busy lives from wasting their time with advice you never really wanted. Should you get a mistress... be real, you're not asking for advice, you're asking to be told what to do, to have the decision you've already made validated. Do I look like I validate parking? Get a grip on your pair and make a choice, take at least enough responsibility for your own life to make your own decisions. You want a mistress, go find one.. don't like the way your marriage has turned out... get a lawyer. Either way, take your need for your humiliation fix and self promption back to your profile where it belongs.

I'd wish you luck out there newbie... but frankly I think whoever ends up babysitting you is the one who'll need the luck.

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:32:32 PM

DreamyLadySnow

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Why drag an innocent Domme into this?

LS

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:34:34 PM

slvemike4u

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LMAO.....LMAO......LMAO HE'S JOKING RIGHT,SOMEONE PLEASE TELL ME HE'S JOKING

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:34:39 PM

Venatrix

Posts: 2238
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DreamyLadySnow

Why drag an innocent Domme into this?

LS

There are innocent dommes out there? I learn something new every day.

Edited to add: check out my new rating - I'm now officially kinky. Must go open Champagne.

< Message edited by Venatrix -- 6/2/2008 8:37:04 PM >

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:39:53 PM

slavegirljoy

Posts: 1207
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From: North Carolina, USA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MAllan8958

I found out on the weekend my wife has been collared by her Master.

You found out? Your wife has been collared by another man and you found out about it after the fact?

Big Red Flag!!! Where's the open and honest communication in your marriage?

Communication is usually listed as Rule #1 for a healthy relationship by most every relationship counselor, as well as most of the people involved in BD/SM. Communication seems to be missing in your relationship.

quote:

We've already had a few heated discussuions about this, because of the sex aspect. I'm not thrilled with another man having sex with my wife.

Heated discussions? You have "already had a few heated discussions" with her about this? Again, where's the constructive communication in your relationship?

If you're not "thrilled" about "another man having sex with your wife", how do you expect your relationship to be healthy and satisfying, as long as this behavior continues, even in the face of your displeasure with it, and without any constructive communication taking place between you to deal with it and find a positive resolution for both of you?

quote:

She says it's meaningless sex and suggested perhaps I should get a Mistress.

Perhaps you should but, remember, 'getting' a Mistress isn't like getting a hobby or getting a new TV. Mistresses can be rather picky about who it is that 'gets' them.

[Note: Even though i am not and have never been a Mistress, i believe this to be true, from having known a few and having spoken to others. If i am wrong about this, i hope that a Mistress will correct me. And, if a Mistress would like to correct me in person, please contact my Master and i am certain something can be arranged. Thank you for this opportunity to make this unsolicited ad.]

quote:

So my question to the group is ... should I?

Only you can decide what you should do. But, you might want to give it some thought and figure out what your motivation for wanting to do this is. Is it for revenge or to get even with your wife for the relationship she has with her Master or, some other reason?

quote:

I'm very curious about the scene and I'm not sure I'd make a good sub, but again I'm really really curious.

Whether or not you would make a 'good sub' is relative. Only your Mistress can know for sure just how good of a sub you are, to her. But, you'll never know, unless you try.

quote:

Any advice would be helpful.

Hope this will be of some help to you during this time of confusion and conflict in your life.

quote:

Thanks.

You're welcome. And, best of luck to you and your wife and everyone involved with the two of you.

joy
Owned servant of Master David

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:40:04 PM

LadyPact

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Ok. Let Me see if I can get this figured out If the OP already knew about his wife having a Dom, I'm trying to see why there was no discussion prior to his wife accepting a collar. In My view, those are the kinds of things that are discussed before clasping a collar on someone's neck. Yes, I'm speaking from experience here, even though in My case, we had to explain to My sub's wife what a collar meant.

I'm just wondering, OP, are you ever consulted or informed on any of the activities that your wife and her Master are doing? Are you allowed any input? Do you get to say no to certain activities, such as permanent marks or require that they only engage in safe sex practices? You might want to start thinking about these things.

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RE: My wife has been collared by a Master, should I get... - 6/2/2008 8:43:34 PM

katie978

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MAllan8958

I also knew about her Master, didn't like it but she said no sex was going on, and no sex has gone on yet. She has had one scene with him, alone in a hotle room which she says all that happened was she was bound and some mild spanking went on, no nudity at all. She says her hard limits are sex, but she may give oral to him or to anyone else he tells her to. She tells me he owns her now

     Sorry, this reeks of affair to me. She said no sex was going on, but she's been having oral (or planning on it with strange men).
    In your first post, you said they were having sex, but it was totally casual. You may be new to this whole BDSM thing, but let me tell you-owning someone is never casual. It might be ill-considered and deceitful, but it's not a casual thing. Even spanking isn't completely casual, as most experienced here can probably tell you, it can be an intensely sexual act. "Just a bit of tied-up spanking" to me translates along to lines of "just a bit of oral sex"-it's that intimate and sexual.
    Do you want to be with a woman who only has sex with you because someone else is telling her to? Do you want to be with a woman who is engaging in sex with another man and may or may not be lying to you about it? Do you trust her owner enough to protect her during their random sexplay that you're not worried about picking up an STD from one of the men she's blowing?
   I suggest you ask her to cut off her relationship with her owner until after you've figured out what this BDSM stuff is, what's going on, and what you feel comfortable with. Also understand that while your wife will be tripping over men looking to "mildly spank" her, you will have a hard time finding female dominants. If your wife is switch, I see little reason she can't fulfill that role. In fact, why isn't she? Is she also looking for a male sub to "mildly spank"?

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