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Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 8:11:57 AM

missturbation

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I've always said there is good and bad in all walks of life!! So it would stand to reason that there is the good and bad in the D/s lifestyle. Bad dom's / domme's, subs / slaves, tops / bottoms etc etc.

So how come i only hear about bad Dom's? You very rarely hear (if ever) someone complaining /warning about a sub, a domme, a slave.

In my circle of lifestyle friends i have only ever heard talk of the bad Dom's. I know i have never been told about a slave / domme behaving badly, playing games etc etc.

So why is this? I know its not that there are only bad Dom's and every other is perfect.

Is it a Dom / Domme not wanting to be seen as weak by speaking about bad experiences with slaves/ subs? Is it just that slaves /subs are more open to airing their dirty laundry in public? Is it that slaves / subs genuinely feel after a bad experience that they should warn others?

They are the only reasons i could personally come up with. Its baffling me to be honest!!

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Post #: 1

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 8:18:28 AM

RCdc

Posts: 8674
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Because females moan?
Because males like to save face?

Because I am being really generalistic.

the.dark.

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RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 8:22:30 AM

Archer

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A combination of some of each of those reasons in addititon to the basic idea that a person who is in the power seat, who exercises te idea of power inside the relationship is generally not the one who is going to get abused without consenting to continue the relationship. In order to be "trapped" in the relationship they have to have abdicated their power possition. Otherwise they would have simply told the problem person they are dismissed when it reached a certan point.

Overall I think that you hear more about females being abused more often because men are generally more likely to be able to leave the relationship before it turns really bad. financial and socialization generalities between the sexes being what they are.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 3

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 8:43:45 AM

simplyfyre

Posts: 54
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fr~

I've never had a man do anything
he didnt want to do

anyway,lol, girls get bad mouthed all the time

some people enjoy slinging the mud about others ,it gives them an inflated sense of power

< Message edited by simplyfyre -- 6/3/2008 8:50:32 AM >

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RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 8:50:07 AM

missturbation

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

Because females moan?
Because males like to save face?

Because I am being really generalistic.

the.dark.

Lol
Maybe......

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to RCdc)

Post #: 5

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 8:53:55 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
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quote:

Overall I think that you hear more about females being abused more often because men are generally more likely to be able to leave the relationship before it turns really bad. financial and socialization generalities between the sexes being what they are.

I'm not sure i'd agree with this.
I personally don't believe there are financial generalisations to be made anymore. There are so many high powered career womwn out there nowadays that its not always or even quite often he is the main bread winner.
I'm not sure what you mean by socialisation generalities!!

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to Archer)

Post #: 6

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 8:54:04 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
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well im a good sub...and less than 6 grams of fat too.

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RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 9:17:14 AM

CalifChick

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From: California
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I hear about subs all the time that people stay away from due to their bad behavior.

Cali

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Post #: 8

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 9:17:51 AM

FRSguy

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Joined: 9/4/2007
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I think its just because we are Doms. What we want to do is a matter of authority and kink to the extream and every sub has there own standards of what kind of enviroment it takes to give the consentuality towards it. When sub does not meet the standards of the Dom the Dom simply moves on.... its hard to say that you should put someone down because they refuse to vacume each day or refuse to suck off all your friends.... those feelings are a matter of social norm.... As far as the way out there subs and subs that cheat I have heard a lot about that and I really have never heard the term of a sub having integrity because subs refuse to be held to a set standard of behavioral norms within the lifstyle. There appears to be a slot for every kind of sub out there and no matter what her behavior its seeen as normal for that sub. For example... walk up to nilla girl and call her whore at a party and youll get slapped or spoken to but walk up to a sub and call her a whore and youre likely to thanked for the compliment. Its probably a good thing because subs are somewhat of a rarity or at least good ones. Dont want to cull the stock to badly.

(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 9

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 9:20:51 AM

faerytattoodgirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: CalifChick

I hear about subs all the time that people stay away from due to their bad behavior.

Cali

aww ...but its great being the leader of SAM.

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Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

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Post #: 10

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 9:24:49 AM

Archer

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financially men on average still earn more than women, so I'll stand by the financial remark.

Socially I'm addressing the fact that men are socialized to leave a relationship faster than women. Women are taught (socially expected) to stay and try to make it work in more cases than men.

Clintons as a case in point, had the cheating been reversed you think Bill would have been expeceted or even accepted had he made the same choice Hillary made?

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 11

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 9:26:40 AM

Missokyst

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People whine. I see just as many men whining about players as women whining about bad doms. In some situations though, I could see how some subs would whine, and the dominant might keep silent. If that dominant really was a dick, why put his name on a thread about how bad he was? We are not allowed to post screen names here, so keeping quiet on his part would not spread the word. In the meantime the sub is whining, bitching ect.. and getting the pats, hugs, and scolding for her part in the choice to play.

On the side of speaking to the good... there is plenty of that here too.
When I used to talk about my ex and bemoan my loss people would slap me around and say "get over it".
When the new ones come in and post about their MASTER doing such and such and it is so incredible.. people might post because they share a similar view. I tend to avoid those posts.
People watch the news more often when it is gorey and exciting. Those stories where someone rescues a box of puppies and discovers one can talk are too few.
Kyst

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 12

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 9:33:06 AM

HalloweenWhite

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Joined: 6/20/2005
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Interesting question. I'd like to answer it with a question, which is: Could it be that Doms are just more vocal than subs,slaves or Dommes and therefore, by virtue of this, stand out more and attract more attention-good and bad?.

(in reply to missturbation)

Post #: 13

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 9:47:55 AM

SimplyMichael

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Joined: 1/7/2007
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Because complaining about bad doms gets people laid and allows them to hide their own dysfunction

I am uber sensative GOOD dom because I hate BAD doms. "little dipshit chattychatroom panties get all wet"

I just got burned by a bad dom "little dipshit domincyber gets a hard on saving her"

Plus by saying the Dom was bad it avoids owning your own shit.

(in reply to HalloweenWhite)

Post #: 14

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 10:11:38 AM

Maya2001

Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Archer

financially men on average still earn more than women, so I'll stand by the financial remark.

Socially I'm addressing the fact that men are socialized to leave a relationship faster than women. Women are taught (socially expected) to stay and try to make it work in more cases than men.

Clintons as a case in point, had the cheating been reversed you think Bill would have been expeceted or even accepted had he made the same choice Hillary made?

I agree with this very much , even in high paying manual labor eg factory work eg female auto worker female will only be about 5% of the work force at the management level the % drops even lower most single women especially those rearing children live below the poverty lines in relationship most women end up having to sacrifice their educatrion and careers for thier spouse and children which is one on the reasons they end up in an economic disadvantage and many feel it is the mans responsibility to provide for them so they do not advance themselves( I consider many as leaches and there is a heck a lot of them around, they want to be treated like princesses and not put their 50% into the relation) and are left reeling when he walks out of the relationship often he does feel like he is being taken advantage of ....of course when he does he becomes the bad ass, his name is mud and smeared every where. as they want the whole world to know it.

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RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 10:11:53 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

tuts ... because when you are a submissive you dont need to take responsibility for anything ... which means you can be a bad person with impunity and no one will call you on it because you can pass the buck onto the D whenever you need to ... I take it you didn't get the memo?

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Post #: 16

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 10:16:30 AM

scottjk

Posts: 335
Joined: 4/18/2005
Status: offline

I cannot speak for everyone, but I can speculate based on my own experience.

I've come across few good subs, and many, many bad subs. I choose to not discuss the bad subs because I'd rather just forget them. I would imagine it would be the same for most competent doms. Why discuss them when it's better to simply dismiss them from your mind as you've dismissed them from your life?

Simply put, bad subs tend to be a horrible personal lesson, and some of us would prefer to accept the lesson and leave the source of that lesson behind us. I would think that it would be a fit punishment for such subs.

As for the complaints regarding doms? I'm sure there are a fair share of poor doms, just as I'm sure there are poor subs bitching about good doms that have dismissed them.

_____________________________

Thou art fertile ground and I will plant a garden in thee.

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Post #: 17

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 10:16:37 AM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I've always said there is good and bad in all walks of life!! So it would stand to reason that there is the good and bad in the D/s lifestyle. Bad dom's / domme's, subs / slaves, tops / bottoms etc etc.

So how come i only hear about bad Dom's? You very rarely hear (if ever) someone complaining /warning about a sub, a domme, a slave.

In my circle of lifestyle friends i have only ever heard talk of the bad Dom's. I know i have never been told about a slave / domme behaving badly, playing games etc etc.

So why is this? I know its not that there are only bad Dom's and every other is perfect.

Is it a Dom / Domme not wanting to be seen as weak by speaking about bad experiences with slaves/ subs? Is it just that slaves /subs are more open to airing their dirty laundry in public? Is it that slaves / subs genuinely feel after a bad experience that they should warn others?

They are the only reasons i could personally come up with. Its baffling me to be honest!!

Because we girls like to bitch.
Because subs/slaves think they can change a man.
Because doms like to further the machismo ideal.
Because there are bad boys in all walks of life.
Because bad press sells.
Because any news is good news.
Because a man's persona preceeds him.
Because rumour spreads like wild fire.
Because there's nothing else better to do whilst the bread is baking.....
because, because, because....I like bad guys....the badder the better......

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 6/3/2008 10:23:15 AM >

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Post #: 18

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 10:18:55 AM

missturbation

Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
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quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

tuts ... because when you are a submissive you dont need to take responsibility for anything ... which means you can be a bad person with impunity and no one will call you on it because you can pass the buck onto the D whenever you need to ... I take it you didn't get the memo?

I think you have a big point here. You would think though that after repeat performances someone would click the lil subby is the only common denominator here though wouldnt ya?

I havent got any mail from you if that was for me hun

< Message edited by missturbation -- 6/3/2008 10:19:56 AM >

_____________________________

What you don't witness with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth. Proverb.

If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to softness)

Post #: 19

RE: Is there a reason? - 6/3/2008 10:19:30 AM

MissMorrigan

Posts: 2309
Joined: 1/15/2005
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No news is good news, I'm afraid. Look through any tabloid/broadsheet and see what sells to the public, it's a tale of woe, recrimination, retribution, etc... It also feeds another purpose, all the while a female submissive is wailing painfully about being used and abused there's a dominant waiting in the wings to snap her up and show her just how good dominants can be while inflicting his own special brand of dysfunction. The only time people tire of that constant parry is when the shit piles so high that people begin choking on it.

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A free society is a society where it is safe to find one's self unpopular and where history has shown that exceptions are not that exceptional.

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Post #: 20

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