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RE: Is there a reason? - 6/5/2008 6:50:40 AM

MrSpectacular

Posts: 1153
Joined: 8/27/2007
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To the OP - if I may offer a couple of my insights.

It is my experience that people generally like to complain - some more than others. I have a sense that subs don't complain any more than Doms - it may be that you focus a little more on that - thus it 'pops' out to you more. Look up 'reticular activating system.'
It brings up a larger point about complaining - someone brought it up in this thread also - that we very often don't acknowledge our own accountability or responsibility first - but are way too quick to criticize others. We then start to blame and believe that we may have been wronged.
My thoughts on the 22 year old who was somewhat flamed . No one really cares how long you have been around or what experiences you have - they only really care about what you do or say right now. That means I am sticking up for her!

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Yes I am Spectacular and they are real!

(in reply to stella41b)

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RE: Is there a reason? - 6/5/2008 6:54:31 AM

aliasmoniker

Posts: 12
Joined: 5/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: missturbation

I've always said there is good and bad in all walks of life!! So it would stand to reason that there is the good and bad in the D/s lifestyle. Bad dom's / domme's, subs / slaves, tops / bottoms etc etc.

So how come i only hear about bad Dom's? You very rarely hear (if ever) someone complaining /warning about a sub, a domme, a slave.

In my circle of lifestyle friends i have only ever heard talk of the bad Dom's. I know i have never been told about a slave / domme behaving badly, playing games etc etc.

So why is this? I know its not that there are only bad Dom's and every other is perfect.

Is it a Dom / Domme not wanting to be seen as weak by speaking about bad experiences with slaves/ subs? Is it just that slaves /subs are more open to airing their dirty laundry in public? Is it that slaves / subs genuinely feel after a bad experience that they should warn others?

They are the only reasons i could personally come up with. Its baffling me to be honest!!

The Bad Dom is bad because they go too far or not far enough, or otherwise fail to please the sub. The bad sub is a sub that isn't submitting, which is just another way to beg for a spanking, so it would not be news. From the little I have seen comparing submissives and dominants, the main reason people like being dominant is because they are inarticulate and become frustrated trying to explain and negotiate. They want to point, grunt and use words one at a time or paired as a name followed by a command. Subs are endlessly wordy and self-involved, which is why they revel in submission. A long emotive complaint about being improperly abused is a wonderful art form for a submissive.

In the real world, women typically complain about the lack of good men, and when they have relationship problems, it is because they chose wrong and got a bad man. With D/s relationships expect that premise to be carried over. Women submissives complain of a bad dom the way women generally complain of bad men. The complaints the other way are usually limited to one word, and may go unspoken because what's the point.

< Message edited by aliasmoniker -- 6/5/2008 6:55:23 AM >

(in reply to missturbation)

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