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Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 7:39:43 PM   
greybeardted


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I don't know whether this has been covered before, but what do you tell your GP (doctor) if he/she notices the bruises and other marks from recent 'punishment/torture' sessions ? It worries me if they think I am really beating up my wife.Do I tell him we are into bdsm ?
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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 7:41:19 PM   
darchChylde


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Tell them it's from entirely consentual bdsm play that was enjoyed by both parties.  Trust me, honesty is better than "i fell" or "i ran into a door".

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 7:43:55 PM   
mistoferin


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Yes. I always tell my doctors of my lifestyle up front. That way they understand it is my choice and what happens happens with my full consent. This isn't the Dark Ages and most Drs. today are familiar with alternative lifestyles. If they have a problem with it at my first visit it tells me that they are not the right physician for me.

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 7:56:57 PM   
ownedgirlie


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I tell him "My partner and I play kind of rough...heh heh" and that's that.

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 8:04:13 PM   
beargonewild


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Basiclly I just casually mentioned that I like to play rough with my partner. It seems to short curcuit any further questions!

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 8:13:43 PM   
laura2161


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I say the same as the posters above me. I told her years ago that when I'm in a relationship we play rough. 

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 8:18:11 PM   
Leatherist


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Why are you beating her ass that close to a doctor's appointment?

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 8:27:43 PM   
RumpusParable


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quote:

ORIGINAL: greybeardted

I don't know whether this has been covered before, but what do you tell your GP (doctor) if he/she notices the bruises and other marks from recent 'punishment/torture' sessions ? It worries me if they think I am really beating up my wife.Do I tell him we are into bdsm ?


That's what I do.  Just told my shrink yesterday, when she asked what I did last weekend... told her I was at a BDSM/queer event.

The short version is that I've never had any problems so far. If you're upfront and direct, they tend to take your word as those in the medical field for long tend to see much weirder stuff... it's when they get those evasive answers and such that they tend to assume there is something worrisome going on.

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 6/5/2008 8:30:14 PM >


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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 8:29:36 PM   
kittinSol


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Why are you beating her ass that close to a doctor's appointment?


To be fair, some of us never get respite from beatings.

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 8:31:00 PM   
Leatherist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

quote:

ORIGINAL: greybeardted

I don't know whether this has been covered before, but what do you tell your GP (doctor) if he/she notices the bruises and other marks from recent 'punishment/torture' sessions ? It worries me if they think I am really beating up my wife.Do I tell him we are into bdsm ?


That's what I do.  Just told my shrink yesterday, when she asked what I did last weekend... told her I was at a BDSM/queer event.

The short version is that I've never had any problems so far.


Washington state has an mandatory law requiring doctors to report signs of potetenial abuse. That includes bruising. I NEVER marked a girl before she had time to heal before an appt. Showing a little restraint can avoid a huge number of issues.

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 9:01:14 PM   
ThundersCry


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again...common sense...

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 9:06:53 PM   
fluffyswitch


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fr--

i generally just say that it was consensual and that they can speak to my partner if they wish. i've never had any problems. i have however had problems from marks left falling out pick up trucks. that one they didn't want to believe.


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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 9:33:30 PM   
burningdesires47


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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittinSol

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Why are you beating her ass that close to a doctor's appointment?


To be fair, some of us never get respite from beatings.


And some of us never get respite from Doctor's appointments!!! It's not like I can plan the next migraine requiring IV intervention, or whether I'm going to get pneumonia in three days from my stupid allergies.

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 9:34:31 PM   
kittinSol


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Then, no spanking. It's out of the question.

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 9:46:05 PM   
slavegirljoy


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i usually have bruises on my arms, upper legs and, breasts.  i use the V.A. medical system for my health-care and no doctor has every asked me about my bruises.  i guess they figure that i would say something to them, if i were concerned about them.  Maybe, they have a "Don't ask, don't tell" policy on bruises.  If anyone ever does ask, i'm sure i will not feel any need to tell them about my private sex life. 
 
One time, i accidentally hit my eye on the corner of a cupboard door and got a real doozy of a shiner.  No one believed the truth, when i told them what happened.  So, finally i just gave up and started making up outlandish stories, which they did believe.  (True story)
 
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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 9:54:51 PM   
burningdesires47


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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

That's what I do. Just told my shrink yesterday, when she asked what I did last weekend... told her I was at a BDSM/queer event.

The short version is that I've never had any problems so far. If you're upfront and direct, they tend to take your word as those in the medical field for long tend to see much weirder stuff... it's when they get those evasive answers and such that they tend to assume there is something worrisome going on.



I always love telling this story.

I was totally up front with my current GP at our first visit about being bisexual, poly, and enjoying rough sex (not being actively in the kink world at that time). In the process of interviewing, as they always do, she asked how many partners I'd had. I responded with a prompt, "Just men or both men and women?" She gulped, said uh all of the above? and I said total xx and that includes y women and zz men. (xx, total partners, was in the high 20's at the time).

Her response? possibly not a direct response but in he course of the interview she said "You need to stop being such a slut and learn to respect yourself."

Obviously, I decided that I didn't need to see her anymore.

Well, a year later, I was still going to the same clinic for sick-visits as needed and just making sure to see other doctors. She had moved up in the world and was now a full-on doctor who was a lead in the clinic and not an underling. I had pneumonia, and I knew it, so I knew I couldn't wait over the weekend to be seen, and she was the only doctor in. So I went.

First words she said? She APOLOGIZED. It had been eating at her for OVER A YEAR, because she knew she had screwed up even as she said it but she was too proud and arrogant to say so at the time. She admitted to having been out of line, accepted that her bedside manner had sucked and that she had barely any social skills at the time, but she had specifically taken some extra classes in alternative lifestyles and bedside manner, and asked if I would be willing to give her a second chance. I did.

4 years later, we have a GREAT relationship. I can tell her absolutely anything and she barely bats an eyelash. She knows I bruise easily due to some chronic issues I get treated for, so she doesn't question anything but the most severe bruises (unless it's on my face, she asks about everything up there). She will ask, politely and nonchalantly of course, and they're almost always innocuous, but the time I had to go in 3 days after a nice paddling for a vaginal exam, she asked if I knew my butt was bruised. I laughed and said oh yeah, I can tell every time I sit down. She just wanted to know what it was from because if it was from, say riding a horse, then it meant my iron levels were low again. I told her flat out, I got my butt paddled black and blue the other day. Her response? "Well as long as you enjoyed it, we're ok, but if there's something you need to tell me, you know you can." I enjoy testing her resolve so I said "Nope, I think the multiple orgasms was a pretty good indicator it was consensual." She just smirked, but the tech she was teaching gagged on trying not to laugh.

She later admitted she enjoys teaching people on me because she knows I'm honest, and will give them a taste of some of the things they may see and need to be prepared for, but she didn't say that just in the context of my lifestyle choices and sexuality, although that was part of it.


So as far as my point and the moral of this story? TELL THEM THE TRUTH. Certainly, telling them in a non-confrontational way, during the initial visit rather than once they have bruising needing an explanation is the better way to go, because by the end of the first interview visit, you should have a good idea whether a little bruising is going to have them calling social services. For that matter, flat out ask: I enjoy really rough sex with my partner(s), that occasionally leaves marks like bruises or small abrasions. Is that going to interfere with my getting respectful care, and am I going to get constantly questioned about abuse at home?

Either they'll look uncomfortable to downright mortified, or else they will shrug and say "well you might get some questions from the nurses, but if we can agree you'll tell me if anything gets out of hand, then I can respect your choices."

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 9:57:30 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


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Attitude will speak louder than words here, and I definitely recommend telling your doctors.

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 10:06:26 PM   
burningdesires47


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quote:

ORIGINAL: slavegirljoy

One time, i accidentally hit my eye on the corner of a cupboard door and got a real doozy of a shiner. No one believed the truth, when i told them what happened. So, finally i just gave up and started making up outlandish stories, which they did believe. (True story)



My previous apartment (just like this one) was in an older converted house. It still had the original bathtub with VERY tall sides, plus they had added glass sliding shower doors with a 2-inch tall track. about 1 out of every 3 times climbing out, I would trip a little catching my foot on the edge.

Well, one time my dumb ass caught it real good, and having left the bathroom door open, I smashed my cheek/side of my mouth into the doorknob. I kid you not. (At least I had left the door open, it was a softer landing than the toilet I WOULD have hit.

I looked like someone punched me. I had a split lip, I bruised all the way up into my eye because it got me in the cheekbone a bit too, but I had this nice round bruise around the edge of my mouth on my cheek that when it bruised up looked like it had knuckle marks.

I had to avoid my dad for two weeks--NOT EASY when he's a daily regular at my place of business! Even with makeup (which I don't usually wear to work) I had people asking if everything was OK, did they need to beat up my BF, etc.

Finally after the swelling and a bit of the bruising tapered off, that's when the questions actually started as I got lazy about the makeup. But at least then you could see the perfectly circular ring from the edge of the door handle. So people were more likely to believe me.

I started telling people I got punched out in a girl-on-girl jello wrestling match. That got me either weird looks or "Was it naked??" gleeful looks.

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 10:37:41 PM   
Emperor1956


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FR:  It is always so much fun to read a thread on CM with loads of really shitty advice.  Especially from a few of the famous CM "experts" -- well if SO and SO says "TELL YOUR MD EVERYTHING" she must be right.  Yah.   I think it is so funky and groovy that you all are upfront with your doctors -- indeed you get right in their faces it seems and challenge them with how kinky you are.  So it won't bother you to learn that:

1.  Any competent physician will have to make a choice about whether to chart your statements and note the bruises.   You have no real say in how much he or she charts - physicians are legally responsible to chart relevant medical history.  And is your D/s behavior relevant?  Well, that's a difficult one.   But generally, doctors are taught to chart everything a patient brings to the encounter, and I'd think most would find sexual behavior noteworthy.   So your doctor makes a few notes about your spanking sessions and voila -- we have a near permanent record of your spanko behavior.  

Now that medical chart will live on your entire life -- and sometimes after your life.  Sure, there is the HIPAA statute and state confidentiality laws that "protect" your medical records.  Uh huh.  I bet you want your kinky life documented and don't mind relying on a fairly-difficult-to-enforce law to stop folks from misusing your medical records.  Its written down, now, people.  Its permanent.  ALL of it.  That you are into kink (in what detail you provide).  WHO you are kinky with, if you discussed that.  Lots of information that you might otherwise choose to keep from folks.  And yes, people do access medical records illegally and do use the information wrongfully.  And the legal recourse is shutting the old barn door long after Flicka has vanished.

2.  Of course a whole bunch of people can access your record without any risk of violation.  For instance, nearly EVERY EMPLOYEE of your physician may have access to your medical chart -- not just your doctor, but her nurses, medical assistants, billing clerks, office manager(s), consultants, etc.   And should you someday go into the hospital, then your chart -- with the diary of "How I got my ass beaten" can become fair game for literally hundreds of folks.  (For what its worth, I could read the medical charts of about 100 patients per day, seven days a week, in various Chicago-area hospitals if I chose to  (I don't.  I think it would be unethical.  But my job -- and I'm not a doctor -- gives me a legal right to do so).    OH...did I mention insurers?  A couple of dozen folks there with nearly unfettered access.  Your employer?  Maybe, depending on the nature of the work and what information you give.  Quality control reviewers?  State agents?  And if you or your spouse are in the military, the relevant CO.  Of course you hip and in-your-face folks won't mind any of those folks reading your chart, will you?

3.  Oh, a brief aside -- should you some day have ANYTHING happen to you that requires review of your medical history for legal purposes  (litigation from a car accident ?   An employment dispute in which your alleged disability or work-related injury is focused upon?  A will contest?   A criminal proceeding where your health is at issue? etc.) you of course won't mind that your medical records will be at minimum disclosed to the lawyers and parties in the suit, and may be disclosed in the course of the legal proceedings to the jury, or may find themselves part of a permanent, easily accessible court file.  And you won't mind that your kink could become an issue in the case, right?   Because you are hip and in your face about loving how kinky you are, right?

4.  Finally, as leatherist pointed out, every state has laws mandating physicians report "abuse" of various types -- child, elder, and in some instances suspected spousal abuse.   Now two things -- the pressure in the system is on the doctor to disclose.  Failure to disclose if discovered can result in discipline or loss of license.  MOREOVER, reporting in good faith results in immunity from retaliation for the doctor, so if he or she thinks you are abused, and can defend it, you might become a social welfare case for the state.  That means, if you still don't get it, that your doctor is encouraged to report "abuse" and protected from your anger if he or she does so.

And of course, you hip and groovy types won't mind being ground down by the fairly inept and very powerful forces of "family and children" welfare, having your ums taken from you (clearly you are an unfit parent) and possibly having that person who beat you subject to prosecution because they were the "agent" of the "abuse".   Yah, its extreme, and I would hope that it wouldn't every go that far, but in fact it has.  And all because you couldn't keep your mouth shut about the beating you got last night before you went to the doctor.

If it isn't directly medically relevant, your physician doesn't WANT to know and doesn't NEED to know.  Shut up.

E.

Edited to add:  The original poster was a gentleman from the UK.  I don't know how much of my advice applies there, as my thread was based on USA law.  But I bet the same general principles govern the law of most modern countries.  Still, when dealing with legal stuff, remember that this post isn't legal advice, I'm not your lawyer, and I don't want to know about your spanko behavior, even if I don't write it down.


< Message edited by Emperor1956 -- 6/5/2008 10:39:33 PM >


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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/5/2008 11:54:52 PM   
RCdc


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Tell them.
 
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