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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 12:23:31 AM   
BootBlackBlast


Posts: 378
Joined: 10/23/2006
Status: offline 		Funny thing is the first time I went into see my GP it was because I thought I had my jaw broken during the opening scene I was in on stage at IMsL last year. Between the 25 times in rehearsal, the one time for the performance and catching the Harley's kickstand with my face at one point in time I was pretty banged up. The Doc asked if I had been in a fight or if domestic abuse was an issue and I said point blank, I'm a poly leather dyke who often practices the edgiest of BDSM edge play and that the bitch slappings I had received that weekend were generally not the norm. I went on to explain that I am normally the Top and that this was relatively minor, and that the issue was the number of times I'd been hit and hitting the Harley didn't help.

He went on to ask about the other activities I engaged in and when I had mentioned needle play and my current lack of a needle supplier, he just walked out of the room and came back with like 5 boxes of needles all in appropriate sizes. He said I don't engage in BDSM but far be it from me to stop you from doing so. He then made sure I knew proper procedures, cleaning, care, and issues that can arise and asked if I had a sharps container. At the time I was using dedicated 20 oz soda bottles with caps, so he made sure I got a sharps container from the pharmacy too.

I've since been forced out of Kaiser by the State of CA but I will be going back and you can bet your ass he'll be the first Doc I call. He never bat an eye, made me feel weird, or wrote any of this down, he just acted as a Doctor should. He recommended that all 3 of us be tested annually and I replied we do it quarterly barring any incidents of concern and he was just like okay, there isn't anything else I can tell you that you aren't already doing.

As an aside, as an EMT the things I've seen beyond what I engage in have been some pretty weird, pretty sick shit. Like the chick who got cut by a broken glass coke bottle because her fetish was having trash physically thrown at her among many others...

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 12:48:52 AM   
mydestiny2043


Posts: 714
Joined: 10/15/2005
From: Southern California
Status: offline 		That is such a cool story,thanks for sharing almost renews my faith in in human kind in general.I only wish we heard more people sharing stuff like that along ,with the unpleasant experiences we hear so much about.

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 12:51:19 AM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline 		It often, for many, is medically relevant, it's really just that simple.  -Including the how and why, going well beyond "no, it wasn't from abuse".

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 6/6/2008 12:55:23 AM >

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 3:30:20 AM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956
Edited to add:  The original poster was a gentleman from the UK.  I don't know how much of my advice applies there, as my thread was based on USA law.  But I bet the same general principles govern the law of most modern countries.  Still, when dealing with legal stuff, remember that this post isn't legal advice, I'm not your lawyer, and I don't want to know about your spanko behavior, even if I don't write it down.



I am in the UK and I would still recommend you tell your Doctor - and if that makes me hip and groovy - really couldnt give a fuck.  Provided you have a good rapport with them and are doing so because of specific medical complaints.  If you are diabetic, or having implants or there is some genuine medical reason why bruising might be noticed at an appointment - then explain and ask medical advice.  Yes, this isn't the states where (frankly) things still seem to be in the dark ages when it comes to people interfering.  I would NEVER advocate marching into a new doctor, who doesn't know your history, with no specific reason and thrusting your chosen kinks on them - but if you have to get medical treatment, hesitating and making up crap excuses just adds to suspicion and ends up making you look guilty.
And if you are in a relationship where family is a issue and you are worried about social services banging on your door - best advice is - don't participate in actions that you know the risks are high ffs until such a time it is no longer an issue. But then, I am a person who advocates explaining peoples 'label' choices to anyone and everyone who is involved regardless of age as long as they are mature emough to handle it - saves a lot of fucked up heads in the long run.
 
the.dark.

< Message edited by Darcyandthedark -- 6/6/2008 3:32:39 AM >

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love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 3:34:03 AM   
HalloweenWhite


Posts: 1028
Joined: 6/20/2005
Status: offline 		Y/you only have to tell them what Y/you want. Some on here tell it "like it is", O/others don't, it's up to Y/you.

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 7:40:47 AM   
virgini970


Posts: 142
Joined: 5/28/2008
Status: offline 		I have all ways told my doc, the truth he is my doc, if you don't tell them then what's the point mine that's i am nuts any way he loves that and he knows no matter what i will tell him the truth the only people in my life that i don;t tell are the kids in my life any one else that's around me they like it or don't i am not going to pertend i am some thing i am not i am not doing any thing wroung i only hurt the ones that want it lol

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 9:58:50 AM   
azropedntied


Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline 		I too am with others here in agreement with being upfront with medical people that see you .Although you can also hold some restraint "no pun intended " and take a break before being seen to avoid the whole thing . 

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 11:41:25 AM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Yes. I always tell my doctors of my lifestyle up front. That way they understand it is my choice and what happens happens with my full consent. This isn't the Dark Ages and most Drs. today are familiar with alternative lifestyles. If they have a problem with it at my first visit it tells me that they are not the right physician for me.


Thats pretty much the same as me.. Always better to be up front and honest.. To me its really no different than having to explain to the woman in the piercing parlor.. "Could you please put it a little deeper than you would with most people? Because i might end up tied up by it" Like mistoferin says, most Drs out there are familiar with alternative lifestyles these days. It's unlikely to shock them.


_____________________________

"The longing to serve, to submit, to abandon oneself sexually, emotionally, and physically makes one a slave either to a Man, a Woman or to God. Submission to that passion is divine degradation." - Dorothy C. Hayden

Owned by RavenMuse

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 12:42:46 PM   
Passion357


Posts: 481
Joined: 8/7/2005
Status: offline
quote:

If they have a problem with it at my first visit it tells me that they are not the right physician for me.
ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Greetings All,

Greetings, Mistoferin,

You got that shit right.
I just really REALLY enjoyed the fact that you said, in simple, short terms exactly what I truly believe needs to be said EVERY time this question is brought up.

To me, there is NO NEED to feel embarrassed, different, singled out, or other wise "off the beaten path" ( no pun intended ) when at a Doctor's appointment and the need to "come out of the closet" arises.

Tell the truth. Be firm. Show strength in your eyes, because let me tell you something:
As a VERY early blooming small female myself, it was not easy when I was having a rough day and at 19 or 20 had to play stare down with a Dr when explaining THAT mark was consentual. They always look as deep as possible to make damn sure you aren't  being abused. So the only way to make this easier is to show the strength in your eyes that you have (or try to have) every time the whip cracks *grin*

Well Wishes,
~Passion~

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Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 1:14:17 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline 		My consultant knows ... and thinks its hilarious ...I have a pretty serious medical condition and I needed to ok my play preferences with her. We had a very interesting chat over a negotiation document once...lol ... bless ehr she is so openminded! ... My appointments are always on the third monday of the month ... the day after all the local club nights and play parties ... so I ahve been in with cane marks ... a paddled butt ... the best though was when i went in with *literally* black and purple tits .. she just fell about laughing and was like "You do this for fun? ... Jesus woman is shopping not good enough for you!?"

My local GP ... I dont tell, she gave me a whole long lecture once about having sex outside marriage, and when I came in with a girlfirned a few years ago, she almost died of apoplexy. So on the *very* rare occassion I do need to go in and there are marks .... I wait until they have gone. If she cared to look there is a note about it on my medical record, but she is very closed minded

tell them .. especially if the fact that your are an active player can have medical implications ... for instance .. even though I am a brittle asthmatic my consultant has said mild breath play is fine for me (thats a judgement based on MY health, MY ability to manage it and MY choices ... dont copy me!)... I would never have known that if I hadn't talked with my consultant about it.

that statement highlighted for NoOne in particular *coughs*

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 1:37:03 PM   
RCdc


Posts: 8674
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
that statement highlighted for NoOne in particular *coughs*


...ooh...  Maybe you need to see a doctor about that cough?
 
the.dark.

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RC&dc


love isnt gazing into each others eyes - it's looking forward in the same direction

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Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 1:43:05 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: softness
that statement highlighted for NoOne in particular *coughs*


...ooh...  Maybe you need to see a doctor about that cough?
 
the.dark.

 
giggles ... it comes tro something when you need a note from your doctor to get you *into* PE rather than out of it

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 4:09:49 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		Hehe - i went to see my ob-gyn doc. for my yearly Pap smear, and in the year since i had seen him last, Sir had pierced my labia - two rings - one on either side - he did my exam and didn't even mention them...........

He didn't say anything - and neither did i! lol - the silence was deafening!

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Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 4:14:39 PM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I have unexplained bruises all the time. Even when I wasnt a practicing submissive. I would wake up and go hmmm, where did that come from? I would hardly worrry about it. I just tell people I bruise easy and always have unexplained bruises likely from knocking into things and such.

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Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 4:18:32 PM   
MastersBitch96


Posts: 73
Joined: 5/15/2008
From: Endicott, NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: greybeardted

I don't know whether this has been covered before, but what do you tell your GP (doctor) if he/she notices the bruises and other marks from recent 'punishment/torture' sessions ? It worries me if they think I am really beating up my wife.Do I tell him we are into bdsm ?


Yeah, that's what we do, however we try to avoid using the term bdsm (just because we have found it causes more questions than answers).  Instead we grin and say... "we were having some fun last night that got a little unusual", and then laugh.  After that response, there are no further questions asked and no worries on the docs part.-- Bitch

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"Your only validation is in living your own life; vicarious existence is a fucking waste of time."

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 4:19:01 PM   
marieToo


Posts: 3595
Joined: 5/21/2006
From: Jersey
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Why are you beating her ass that close to a doctor's appointment?


This was my thought as well.  I suppose it's a personal decision of course, but it seems simpler to me to make sure I don't have bruises when I see a doc.  Most of us only see a gyno once or twice per year, unless pregnant.  And my chiropractor sees my bare back on the average of twice per month and I've managed to work around it for nearly 10 years now.  I don't feel the need to tell any health care providers about my bdsm involvements.  Unless of course it was affecting my health in some way, which so far it hasn't.

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I give good agita.









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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 4:25:46 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		When I have a scheduled appointment, I've always just refrained from anything that might leave suspicious looking marks (marks that might cause him to question me).   But I'm like luciouslips and always have unexplained bruises.  Sometimes I think I have a ghost Dom and he beats me when I sleep 

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 4:34:45 PM   
tsatske


Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline
quote:

Why are you beating her ass that close to a doctor's appointment?


That is really not the best possible answer, Leatherist. I had a good friend when i lived in Philly near die of food poisoning because she refused to go to the doctor for the first three days of her vomiting, because of the bruising.

When i go to see a new doctor, I tell them, 'You need to know my sexual preferences: I am bisexual, I am poly, I am Leather - that is, I am in a consensual BDSM relationship. If you see some bruising or marks when i visit, they are from consensual play.' It is my doctor, if i can't tell them that, sooner or later I'm going to need to know something and be embarrassed to answer.

If they need definitions, i provide them. My psyche asks me to define something every single visit.

My OB is the head of a good sized practice - when I had this talk with him, he said, "I am making a note on your chart, in case one of the other docs sees you.'

There is nothing you can do about ER docs, other than, if they have too much of a fit, you will be able to say, 'ask my GP, he knows.'

It is easier to tell them in advance than to tell them when they are looking at bruises. They know that Domestic Abuse victims make excuses and are trained to look for the excuses. Telling them upfront diffuses the situation.

I believe in telling my docs everything they need to know. I let Master know up front that this is a hard limit for me - i will not lie to my doctors. When i was in the hospital a few months into my collar, he spent a lot of time chuckling as he found out just how true that is.

If a doctor says 'make sure you do this', i am honest - i say, 'i don't think i can do that', i say, 'i'll try but i have my doubts' - i say whatever is true. They don't have to be happy with me, i don't need pets on the head, i need them to have the information they need to provide good care. For instance, my podiatrist knows i wear heels. He knows i will not stop wearing them just cause he does not like it - although i will suspend it when i am having difficulties and he tells me to. difference in telling me not to and telling me not to for a while.

My doc knows my mental diagnoses. New psyches get a convorsation about the sexual preferences, just like the GPs, and also abut religion. new dentists get a conversation about being a childhood abuse survivor.

Tell the docs, up front and in advance, everything they could conceivably need to know. It is confidential, they are your doctors, and without adequate information, they can not take care of you. My best advice, order her to tell them.

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“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

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RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 4:53:51 PM   
LPslittleclip


Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline 		I'm a military LPN and a collared submissive and most of the docs that i have talked to about this agree.. the truth is better! they would rather be slightly shocked and able to give proper advice on the type and kind of play than to be left in the dark and guessing.  also current training on culture and lifestyles is required annual training for medical personnel. so the more you can communicate with your provider the better not saying tell all details of play but basics is fine.

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Bruising, etc. when seen by your GP ! - 6/6/2008 4:54:52 PM   
RumpusParable


Posts: 1923
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: NYC now!
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: marieToo

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

Why are you beating her ass that close to a doctor's appointment?


This was my thought as well.  I suppose it's a personal decision of course, but it seems simpler to me to make sure I don't have bruises when I see a doc.  Most of us only see a gyno once or twice per year, unless pregnant.  And my chiropractor sees my bare back on the average of twice per month and I've managed to work around it for nearly 10 years now.  I don't feel the need to tell any health care providers about my bdsm involvements.  Unless of course it was affecting my health in some way, which so far it hasn't.


For those that only have to go in once in a great while when sick or injured from something or for a yearly pap, it's not  a big deal to avoid play for a bit before really... but even then, you've the occasional forgotten or mistaken appointment date or falling sick unexpectedly shortly after a play night.  Even with the best planning, life throws surprises at folks.

Then there are a lot of us who have regular appointments due to chronic issues and if we wanted to avoid marks at the doctor we'd have to simply give up play entirely for life.

Using myself as an example of that second group of folks, depending on how appointments with different doctors line up and how I'm doing I go from only seeing a doc every 2 months to seeing doctors once a week for extended periods.  I also can need to get a soon appointment or even go into the ER randomly.  -And that's just on the factors in the possibility of doctors seeing marks issue, for my treatment to be the best possible (and to get full disability compensation for what caused its need) I need to give a couple of my doctors a very thorough understanding of my lifestyle, friendships and anything emotionally or physically putting stress on my body (good stress or bad), etc. even if there are no marks when I walk into the office.

If I need to go into the ER for another moment of stupid when slipping with a knife during candlemaking, and in the hospital gown they see bruises on my arms or cuts on my back they need to see in my records (the ER I visit is the same records system as my regular care, I go to the local VA) backup of that night's answer to the abuse/self-harm questioning, that oh, say, another case of cutting my thumb half off was in fact just an accident.  Having my interests documented and being frank about them when asked has saved me and my spouse from some serious questioning and possible reporting more than once.

Just throwing some of the variety out there for folks to consider. 

< Message edited by RumpusParable -- 6/6/2008 5:00:17 PM >

_____________________________

Relationships come and go, but plastination is forever.

I generally use fast-reply. If directing my post at someone specific I will indicate so.

Minimal summary: Artist, Disabled Veteran, Vegan, Pornographer, and Agender dominant female.

(in reply to marieToo)
Profile   Post #: 40
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