Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Virginity issue


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Virginity issue Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Virginity issue - 6/9/2008 8:00:22 AM   
Wildfleurs


Posts: 1650
Joined: 9/24/2004
From: Connecticut
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside

Now for those of you that have seen my profile or that I have talked to, I have made it no secret that I am a virgin.  My question is, does me being a virgin have any kind of impact on how people would approach or respond to me?  Please don't limit this to the lifestyle itself, apply this to the vanilla life to.


When I first got into the scene I was a virgin and while I think it did impact how people approached me, more improtantly it impacted how I approached things - I was definitely cautious and took time to learn before I did any playing.  By the time I felt (relatively) comfortable in the scene I didn't have any more emotional attachment to retaining my virginity so after a little while I lost my virginity to a dom I was seeing.  But overall it may make you not appealing for some people - I'm not sure I'd be interested in a virgin (not that I'm looking, I'm just saying) and I know that some dominants prefer a submissive with some sexual experience.

C~


_____________________________

"Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid." -despair.com

~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
The heart of it all - http://www.wildfleurs.com
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(in reply to boundinside)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Virginity issue - 6/9/2008 8:02:35 AM   
Dnomyar


Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline 		abcbsex tell your girlfriend to advertise that she is bi and then she will have just as many women wanting to have sex with her. It isn't just a guy thing.

(in reply to abcbsex)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Virginity issue - 6/9/2008 10:35:49 AM   
abcbsex


Posts: 478
Joined: 3/29/2008
Status: offline 		oh I know it isn't just the guy's problem in her relationships, I think SHE'S just fixated on it so much that that's how she assumes the guys are. And I've tried putting some bisexual thoughts in her mind, as I find her attractive, but she was having none of it, unfortunately. :P

_____________________________

I was trained at MasterLordDarkness' Center for Subs Who Don't Serve Good and Wanna Learn to Do Other Stuff Good Too.....

but it needed to be at least.... four times bigger.


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Virginity issue - 6/9/2008 11:35:20 AM   
FRSguy


Posts: 653
Joined: 9/4/2007
Status: offline 		I myself will have nothing to do with Virgins other than talk and if I meet one online I wont get involved in any kind of one on one sex conversations. Whatever kind of journey a virgin is on... I want nothing to do with it.

(in reply to abcbsex)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Virginity issue - 6/9/2008 12:14:42 PM   
Sandyshores29718


Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline 		*fast reply*

Personally i wont date someone that is a virgin. Now, i see nothing wrong with being a virgin and respect someone that is, but for me thats a no go. *shrug* Like i said thats me and not everyone is that way. There are some that the idea of being someones first is a major turn on and kinda a fetish. Don't worry a good couple is like a key and lock. You just have to find the right fit. :) Good luck.

(in reply to abcbsex)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Virginity issue - 6/9/2008 3:52:45 PM   
flower2007


Posts: 120
Joined: 4/14/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside

Now for those of you that have seen my profile or that I have talked to, I have made it no secret that I am a virgin.  My question is, does me being a virgin have any kind of impact on how people would approach or respond to me?  Please don't limit this to the lifestyle itself, apply this to the vanilla life to.

My profile says the same thing, and I think it has had an impact on how people reply......they've all been very polite and nice!  I've never had anyone send attacking emails because of it.
I'd never put the same information on a vanilla dating site or bring it up too early with someone I met in real life, though.

(in reply to boundinside)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Virginity issue - 6/9/2008 4:33:18 PM   
MissMagnolia


Posts: 3636
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Im like a virgin. I even have those big ass nipple cones.


Well Raymond my love, I think we really need to see a photo of you in your nipple cones. For proof, ya know? Not that I don't trust you, just I want to see, ya know?

_____________________________

if at first you dont succeed..then skydiving isnt for you

Resident Whip Cracker AND Resident Orbs Of Joy.


(in reply to Dnomyar)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Virginity issue - 6/9/2008 5:20:54 PM   
MstrVik


Posts: 122
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline 		Being a virgin is just one aspect of who you are. Generally speaking, people will respond to you as a whole person, not just to one part of you - though to some just that aspect you mention may mean more than to others. But so it is with lots of things; every aspect is weighed against the others as we try to get an idea of someone else.
Though it's a good thing to be open about it, it's also a good idea not to make it an issue - put as much emphasis on everything else that you are. I'm sure there's plenty more for you to convey that could give a better picture of yourself than just that simple word. Best of luck!

_____________________________

~ sometimes a spanking is just a spanking...

(in reply to boundinside)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Virginity issue - 6/10/2008 6:07:36 PM   
wideeyedinnocent


Posts: 6
Joined: 3/9/2008
Status: offline 		I consider myself a virgin, and in most of my vanilla relationships the issue was not that I hadn't had sex, but that I wasn't willing to. However, I can say that some of them did see me as a conquest.
Friends who don't know a lot about my sexuality or my involvement in bdsm either tease me about it or applaud it.
My experience in the bdsm world is pretty much limited to my current Partners and some friends, who appreciate my virginity as a part of who I am.







(in reply to MstrVik)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Virginity issue - 6/10/2008 9:50:10 PM   
pinksugarsub


Posts: 1224
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside

Now for those of you that have seen my profile or that I have talked to, I have made it no secret that I am a virgin.  My question is, does me being a virgin have any kind of impact on how people would approach or respond to me?  Please don't limit this to the lifestyle itself, apply this to the vanilla life to.


Maybe it would, boundinside, but W/who cares?  Take care of yourself and when you finally decide to lose your virginity, assure yourself as best you can of a positive experience.
 
pinksugarsub

_____________________________





(in reply to boundinside)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Virginity issue - 6/10/2008 11:21:16 PM   
DarkVictory


Posts: 247
Joined: 8/7/2004
Status: offline 		May the divine FSM protect us from virgins.  Jeez.  Dangerous, drama queeny, angsty about simple biology.  That, and they just can't fuck to save their lives.

(in reply to pinksugarsub)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Virginity issue - 6/10/2008 11:37:11 PM   
figment


Posts: 17
Joined: 4/12/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

May the divine FSM protect us from virgins.  Jeez.  Dangerous, drama queeny, angsty about simple biology.  That, and they just can't fuck to save their lives.


Mean, sarcastic, uncalled for comment that I found funny as hell and spat my mouthful of lemonade over my keyboard. hehe



(in reply to DarkVictory)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Virginity issue - 6/10/2008 11:54:44 PM   
Msagain


Posts: 45
Joined: 8/25/2007
Status: offline 		I do not see it as an issue as some relatiosnhips are not all about sex, they focus more on the dominance and training. But sooner or later the virginity does have to go as the relatiosnhip becomes deeper.

(in reply to figment)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Virginity issue - 7/2/2008 4:19:27 AM   
chastitybelt


Posts: 32
Joined: 1/14/2007
Status: offline 		Being a virgin shouldn't be an  BDSM issue and people need to understand that there are many reason why some  adult people over 21 are still virgin. Some adult virgins are waiting  for the  the right person, some  virgins are waiting for marriage and some are asexual virgin and never will have intercourse..


me,i'm  a 30 something virgin domme

(in reply to boundinside)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Virginity issue - 7/2/2008 4:40:42 AM   
RavenMuse


Posts: 4030
Joined: 1/23/2006
Status: offline 		I know in Our culture the whole virginity thing is 'supposed' to be something appealing.... not to Me it isn't. It means someone who isn't likely to know what they want because they have no real experience to assess those wants on. They ain't going to have a grounded opinion of what they can do or what they are compatable with... they have nothing to compair with.

IF, and it is a big if, everything else about the person felt right and We got on amazingly well and her submission draw Me to take it up... than I would take up the responcibility of putting the work in to get her over the DISADVANTAGE that total lack of experience means... otherwise, thanks but no thanks.


_____________________________

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Owner of metalmiss

(in reply to boundinside)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Virginity issue - 7/2/2008 4:46:23 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: boundinside

Now for those of you that have seen my profile or that I have talked to, I have made it no secret that I am a virgin.  My question is, does me being a virgin have any kind of impact on how people would approach or respond to me?  Please don't limit this to the lifestyle itself, apply this to the vanilla life to.


boundinside, the intimate facts of your life are just that -- intimate -- why would you broadcast any of them for a bunch of people you don't know to pass judgment on you?
 
20 is not an unusual age for a man to remain a virgin.  So you weren't laid in high school?  So what?
 
You don't say why you've chosen not to have sex -- or whether you've had tons of sex but just never had intercourse -- and without knowing the 'backstory' I can't comment on whether what you're doing is destructive or constructive.
 
And you don't know me -- so what use is my opinion anyway?
 
I don't approach people based primarially on their sexual identity (of any stripe, including D/s).  I like who I like; usually bright, witty, well-read characters who keep me laughing and tell me when I'm wrong.
 
Regardless, being a virgin is a small part of who you are and anyone who can't see past that and get to know you is just saving you some agro, IMO.
 
candystripper

(in reply to boundinside)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Virginity issue - 7/2/2008 6:26:01 AM   
cjan


Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline 		OP, you're a virvgin, isn't that special...

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti



(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Virginity issue - 7/2/2008 7:53:21 AM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline 		Personally, I never found anything all that appealing about virginity.  No, I didn't want a partner who'd had way too many previous partners (and no, I don't have a specific number in mind and it doesn't really matter, does it?) but the whole idea of "breaking the cherry" and all the aftermath that went with it when I was coming up was a wholllllllllllllllllllllllle lot of hassle for one experience.  I've broken one cherry and that was in a long-term relationship with a partner who was ready for it.  We'd done a lot of nights of foreplay and she was ready...thank God.  We stayed together another year after the experience and remain friends today 33 years later.

At my age now, I don't want to have to deal with virgins nor do I want to have to deal with someone with so much experience that they have become jaded but other than that, there are so many other facets of the person that draws me to them in the first place.  Their sexual experience or lack of it comes lower down the list than their interest in a sexual life.

(in reply to boundinside)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Virginity issue - 7/2/2008 7:56:31 AM   
fluffyswitch


Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline 		it's one of those things that's going to vary from person to person. some people like it, they think it's a thrill, other people think it's a turn off because they see it as being some sort of immaturity. i became sexually active late for a variety of reasons so i know the feeling. it's a matter of finding the person who won't fnd it a flaw.

_____________________________


“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.” churchill

the first rule of fluff club is that you don't talk about fluff club!

(in reply to cjan)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Virginity issue - 7/2/2008 11:11:48 AM   
StrangerinBlack


Posts: 44
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline 		I lost my virginity fairly late. (A year or two before I began to scene). The only real difference I have noticed is that I now have much less paranoia and anxiety around sex , and that I am able to give and receive clear sexual signals with greater ease. You will most likely feel a lot better when you get over it, just because you don't have to obsess all the time about when it will happen or if you have what it takes (you do).

(in reply to fluffyswitch)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Virginity issue Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094