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But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 2:47:35 PM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

A friend and I were talking today and some thoughts came to mind regarding age. Logan it's all your fault your thread spurred these thoughts.

I have 2 ums one of which is a teenager. I have been approached by doms who are 18 years old. I don't ever assume age defines life experience or life knowledge,however; my 1st thought is "Damn he is only 4 years older than my daughter." I seem to do this anytime a younger dom approaches me. I also worry about if I do get involved with a dom that young if my daughter would be uncomfy with it or if my coworkers would take issue with it (I am a teacher).

On the other side of the spectrum I have doms who are in the late 50's early 60's that approach me and my thought is usually, "He is old enough to be my father."

Both of these thoughts seem to stop me from truly looking to these men as possible doms for myself.

If you have these thoughts how do you get past them when speaking to a dom or do you?

Blessed be,
Nika

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 6/9/2008 2:48:55 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

Post #: 1

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 2:51:00 PM

InsaenPleasures

Posts: 49
Joined: 4/27/2008
Status: offline

Ha! I have caused angst... my work here is done. :)

Seriously I know many people strive to make age not an issue but there is always that social and perhaps even evolutionary subconscious that seems to whisper "he/she is too old or too young" in your ear.

Logan

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 2

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 3:16:43 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

Normally age isnt an issue.

However after doing a scene with an 18 y/o male sub who turned
out to be coincidentally only days younger... I upped the minimum age.

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Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to InsaenPleasures)

Post #: 3

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 3:24:27 PM

hejira92

Posts: 2272
Joined: 10/27/2005
From: Palm Beach County, Fl
Status: offline

Before Master, I naturally gravitated towards Doms that were between 15 and 20 years older than me. I guess there were some issues to iron out. Master is my age, and at first, it was something to get used to.

Thank god I'm not single, for I don't think I could handle the younger thing. But that's just me-I want to clarify that I am pro anything that works for anyone else.

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(in reply to MistressSassy66)

Post #: 4

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 3:31:01 PM

CalifChick

Posts: 10717
Joined: 10/28/2007
From: California
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika
If you have these thoughts how do you get past them when speaking to a dom or do you?

I don't get past them. Call me shallow, judgmental, close-minded, whatever. I have found that if they are young enough to be my child, I can't look at them "that way". And I'm not sure why, but for me, age seems to stop mattering if everybody is over the age of 30. Well, okay, I sort of know why, but it's hard to explain, and it has to do with figuring out that I had to "grow up" by the time I turned 30.

Cali

_____________________________

AKA "The Undisputed Goddess of Sarcasm", "Big Bad Cali" and "Yum Bum". Advisor to the Subbie Mafia, founding member of the W.A.C. and the Judgmental Bitches Brigade, member of the Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's and Team Troll

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 5

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 3:47:58 PM

fluffyswitch

Posts: 1108
Joined: 9/29/2007
From: Buffalo
Status: offline

He's almost out of my age range and almost literally fell into my lap. i tend not to play with anyone under 21 because i like to be able to go wherever with a partner, including a bar, but it's not set in stone. i don't go much older than ten years my senior because then i get into 'you're so cute and young, you're so cute and young, blah blah blah'. in both cases it's been a matter of experience teaching me what works the best for me. i have had older men approach me but only in a serious manner after i've been together with Him, and while we're poly most don't want to share so it's more a matter of when i seriously tell them that they have to ask Him they don't like it more than an age consideration.

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(in reply to CalifChick)

Post #: 6

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 3:49:14 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

A friend and I were talking today and some thoughts came to mind regarding age. Logan it's all your fault your thread spurred these thoughts.

I have 2 ums one of which is a teenager. I have been approached by doms who are 18 years old. I don't ever assume age defines life experience or life knowledge,however; my 1st thought is "Damn he is only 4 years older than my daughter." I seem to do this anytime a younger dom approaches me. I also worry about if I do get involved with a dom that young if my daughter would be uncomfy with it or if my coworkers would take issue with it (I am a teacher).

On the other side of the spectrum I have doms who are in the late 50's early 60's that approach me and my thought is usually, "He is old enough to be my father."

Both of these thoughts seem to stop me from truly looking to these men as possible doms for myself.

If you have these thoughts how do you get past them when speaking to a dom or do you?

Blessed be,
Nika

I take the same approach as I do with hypnotists. If I don't believe in your ability to hypnotize me, then you can't. If I don't believe in your ability to master me, again, you can't. Just by coincidence, I've never been hyponotized and I've never by mastered by an 18 year old. I'm not overly optimistic about either event ever happening.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 7

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 3:58:11 PM

DrkJourney

Posts: 1917
Joined: 5/6/2007
Status: offline

I have the same problem. I always get the "age is just a number" defense. I don't have children, but honestly if they are young enough for me to have given birth, I have a problem. I'm with the above opinion that 30 is my cut off....for now...lol And yes, I have trouble with those old enough to be my parent, I couldn't possibly be their domme....just a mental block I suppose.

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(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 8

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 4:03:07 PM

Constrictor1

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline

Sweetnika,
I am 46 and still in great health. I have a policy regarding age. I was sexually active at 15 but choose to use 18 for my purpose here 46-18= 28. I set my standard at 28 years old and older. I don't mind being the object of a daddy thing, I would just not like to be capable of actually being their daddy.

Constrictor1

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 9

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 4:05:07 PM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

-laughs-
My mail control on the other side is set so for 27 and 50. I am not sure why I choose those numbers other than they are comfortable for me. A 27 year old isn't young enough to be my kid and the 50 year old is younger than both of my parents.

Edited to add: For shits and giggles I asked my oldest how she would feel if I was seeing an 18 year old guy. She said, "Mom that is gross. You could be his mom or I could be dating him."

Blessed be,
Nika

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 6/9/2008 4:07:59 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to DrkJourney)

Post #: 10

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 4:17:07 PM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

being 37..well 38 in sept...i prefer someone atleast 30+ but under say..45.

how much experience/training can a teenager (or someone say 25 and under) realistically have? 2 years?

experience is important to me. i require someone who knows what they're doing and wont mess up something like...a play scene. for instance, flogging is hard to do if your not experienced and can leave major permanent marks. i have a heart condition that can cause issues if things are done wrong.

i just would not feel safe with someone half my age. i also wouldnt want their parents being an issue. not many parents would accept their teenager being with someone nearly 40.

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(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 11

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 4:29:53 PM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

i'm just not attracted to someone for a relationship that is really young.....we all have our preferences, older men is mine.

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(in reply to faerytattoodgirl)

Post #: 12

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 4:35:09 PM

laura2161

Posts: 254
Joined: 3/8/2008
From: Duluth, GA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

If you have these thoughts how do you get past them when speaking to a dom or do you?

Blessed be,
Nika

Hmm, I dont get past it. I turned 42 last month and franky, I am surprised at how many emails I receive from young men. My first thought always is " I could be your mother". Umm, NOT going there. When the guy is closer to my daughter's age (she is 18) then my age then I dont see it happening.

Right now (in my head) I have ages set around 34-50 ...give or take a little depending on the guy but there isnt a hell of a lot of wiggle room.

_____________________________

'I am not infantile, You StinkyButt Poophead!'

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 13

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 4:42:31 PM

MissIsis

Posts: 473
Joined: 1/1/2005
Status: offline

I tried being with someone who was a young adult once. In fact, I married him. I tried to keep an open mind, but when it was all said & done, I would never be with someone that young again. I am not all that rigid with age, but they have to be old enough to show me some stability & responsibility.

(in reply to laura2161)

Post #: 14

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 4:48:52 PM

PsyVamp

Posts: 1026
Joined: 10/30/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

-laughs-
My mail control on the other side is set so for 27 and 50. I am not sure why I choose those numbers other than they are comfortable for me. A 27 year old isn't young enough to be my kid and the 50 year old is younger than both of my parents.

Edited to add: For shits and giggles I asked my oldest how she would feel if I was seeing an 18 year old guy. She said, "Mom that is gross. You could be his mom or I could be dating him."

Blessed be,
Nika

LOL!
My pet's messages STILL go in my bulk mail... at 24 he's still too young for me (and he's been here a year already)...
Sometimes, the person matters more than the age, which is why I check my bulk mail.

Lady Jag

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Could a blue screen of death constitute being defenestrated?
~Owner of wolf~ (one of them, anyway)

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 15

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 5:01:33 PM

fairerthanshe

Posts: 3035
Joined: 1/18/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

A friend and I were talking today and some thoughts came to mind regarding age. Logan it's all your fault your thread spurred these thoughts.

I have 2 ums one of which is a teenager. I have been approached by doms who are 18 years old. I don't ever assume age defines life experience or life knowledge,however; my 1st thought is "Damn he is only 4 years older than my daughter." I seem to do this anytime a younger dom approaches me. I also worry about if I do get involved with a dom that young if my daughter would be uncomfy with it or if my coworkers would take issue with it (I am a teacher).

On the other side of the spectrum I have doms who are in the late 50's early 60's that approach me and my thought is usually, "He is old enough to be my father."

Both of these thoughts seem to stop me from truly looking to these men as possible doms for myself.

If you have these thoughts how do you get past them when speaking to a dom or do you?

Blessed be,
Nika

Greetings all,

There are times I truly miss Domiguy and this is one of them...My first thought on reading the title of the thread was to respond with "Is she hot?" ala DG style. Dear OP - no offense intended...

I don't have age issues. At the ripe age of 42, I have partners in their early to mid twenties and others in their mid fifties. Last year, I was with this beautiful 21 year old girl and I had just finished introducing her to the fine art of vaginal fisting when it suddenly struck me why she looked so familiar...so I asked her if her mom lived at a certain co-op in college and what her mom's name was and as it turns out, I knew her mother. I knew her mother quite well - as I had been her college 'experiment'. Of course, the trifecta would have been getting them both in the bed at once, but it was not meant to be...

well wishes ~ fairer than she

_____________________________

The Nuclear Bomb of Awesome, rockin' the MoFo Hawk, still a bad-ass with a bouncy attitude, and spreading joy as a predator in Hello Kitty panties

Recently honored with membership in the West Coast Assholes

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 16

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 5:10:53 PM

daddysliloneds

Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline

i did the older men thing when i was younger, and the younger men thing when i got older; then i became a mother, and no matter how much of a hottie, good fuck, dominant or not a man may be, if he's not much older than my son, he will never be considered for anything more than a few nights of fun at best...

in other words, i never got over or past the age thing when i became a mother and am honest with them about that fact!

(in reply to SweetNika)

Post #: 17

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 5:32:35 PM

MidMichCowboy

Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble
Just by coincidence, I've never been hypnotized and I've never by mastered by an 18 year old. I'm not overly optimistic about either event ever happening.

Damn, gorgeous, smart, witty and taken. Just my luck.

As for myself, I've dated women older than myself and women half my age. I've went home with ladies to meet parents that were my age. It's not age, it's what you have in common. For me anyway. For anyone else, you gotta do what floats your boat. But you most likely will miss out on something that could have been great.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to BitaTruble)

Post #: 18

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 5:53:03 PM

Viridana

Posts: 754
Status: offline

My spouse is 22 years my senior. He has a daughter who is one year older than me. At first I was scared of the possible reactions but after a while my fears were put to rest. She often calls me mom now.

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)

Post #: 19

RE: But your only 4 years older than my daughter! - 6/9/2008 6:11:52 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SweetNika

Greetings all,

There are times I truly miss Domiguy and this is one of them...My first thought on reading the title of the thread was to respond with "Is she hot?" ala DG style. Dear OP - no offense intended...

I don't have age issues. At the ripe age of 42, I have partners in their early to mid twenties and others in their mid fifties. Last year, I was with this beautiful 21 year old girl and I had just finished introducing her to the fine art of vaginal fisting when it suddenly struck me why she looked so familiar...so I asked her if her mom lived at a certain co-op in college and what her mom's name was and as it turns out, I knew her mother. I knew her mother quite well - as I had been her college 'experiment'. Of course, the trifecta would have been getting them both in the bed at once, but it was not meant to be...

well wishes ~ fairer than she

where did domiguy go? He cracks up

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 6/9/2008 6:13:07 PM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

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We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

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Post #: 20

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