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RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/10/2008 8:21:27 AM   
Stusmobile


Posts: 145
Joined: 5/26/2008
From: No fixed abode
Status: offline 		Its the same with any group, there are always a vocal minority who seem to be able to out shout everybody else, over time you learn who is real and who is as fake as a nine dollar note.

edited for spelling because I hate swapping between US/UK keyboards


< Message edited by Stusmobile -- 6/10/2008 8:22:16 AM >

_____________________________

Goethe: "Whatever you do, or dream you can do, begin it - boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now."

EmlyKate is mine and I wouldn't wish for anything else.

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/10/2008 9:39:28 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Eh, lately over in Ask A Mistress, it's been all sugar and spice and everything nice.
*snip*


:P Never confuse "nice" with "weak". I'm plenty nice in the right circumstances...and about as weak as granite.

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/10/2008 9:48:28 AM   
chiaThePet


Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DominantJenny

quote:

ORIGINAL: chiaThePet

Eh, lately over in Ask A Mistress, it's been all sugar and spice and everything nice.
*snip*


:P Never confuse "nice" with "weak". I'm plenty nice in the right circumstances...and about as weak as granite.


Confusion reigns when collarme dot com becomes more like E Harmony dot com.

Though I do love the smell of fresh cut granite in the morning. :)

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to DominantJenny)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/10/2008 10:15:25 AM   
bashfulhuck


Posts: 119
Joined: 5/26/2008
Status: offline 		It's wierd, i keep seeing on here that there is a huge number of male subs vs Female Dominants.
Yet when i go to the Wet Spot in Seattle, i see a very large number of female submissives, and large number of Dommes/Doms, yet not so many male submissives.
i'm just getting back into the lifestyle after being away from it for a number of years, so i might be wrong. But quite a few people also told me that it was really nice to have a male submissive around, as we are a rarity compared to females.
And yes, i think a person attracts people into their life that they truly deserve in the long run. So i do my level best to treat others with respect and love, in the hopes that i will get that in return.
Chia, i loved your post btw. Please don't confuse my desire for a Domina that shows me love and a soft side with a vanilla attitude though hehe. For me, part of the love she would show me would also involve her kicking my ass quite often, and a hefty dose of kink

With respect,
the bashful one

(in reply to chiaThePet)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/10/2008 6:44:58 PM   
MISTRESSKUMA


Posts: 226
Joined: 8/15/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cluelessslave

That is the difference between men and women. Men chase after women, pay for women, jump through hopps for women. Women can look past the man in front of them to see the line of men behind him. It's not about doms and dommes, it's about supply and demand. Male desire for women outweighs female deisre for men by several trizillion tons. Whoever wants it the least has the upper hand. Men need it, women don't even like it that much. So even in BDSM play you have so-called male doms basically kissing ass to keep a female sub. Dommes treat male subs like the disposable and pathetic fucks they are. This behavior predates language. It's primal.


chiming in with thumbs up

(in reply to cluelessslave)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/10/2008 7:03:41 PM   
BadJezebel


Posts: 138
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Usako

From my limited experience of this site, female dommes seem super arrogant. They're usually the ones demanding money and to be treated like a "goddess." I have yet to flip through a man's profile and seen that. ....

And not, not ALL but a lot seem like this. The ones I've seen irl don't seem so bad though. But then again irl they don't have a profile attatched to them to disect.



Most of the profiles of Dommes are like this because most of them are pros.  Anyone who says "give me money" is doing this for the money, at least partially.  If you are doing this for the money then,  it's a business.  If this is a business then you need to provide a service that sells.  That type of attitude in Dominas sells.  Men pay to have an "Insta-Domme" right out of a super-special crackerjack box. 

You shouldn't take most of what pros say as reflective of lifestyle/hobbyist Dommes. 

(in reply to Usako)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/10/2008 7:15:25 PM   
BadJezebel


Posts: 138
Joined: 4/29/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CruelDesires

You must be speaking about the ones I call the "Fluffy Bunny" dominants. They are usually more noticeable then lifestylers because you see them when they are primping and posing. The ones that have no clue even after they study the lifestyle thru reading about it on the web or seeing it in real life. Because it is so foreign to them , they only understand the parts that they can comprehend which usually is just the more S&M kinky sexual/visual aspects of the scene. Because they really cannot get a good grasp of what it is to be a Dominant , they read up on the stereotypes and posture and attempt to conform to that ideal. Both male and females alike posture that way because they don't understand what D/s is all about so they attempt to fit it into their vanilla culture views and it comes out in a really caricature like type of power exchange interaction.  
CD


So aptly put, BRAVO!!!  

(in reply to CruelDesires)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/10/2008 7:22:12 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BadJezebel
Most of the profiles of Dommes are like this because most of them are pros. 

I don't think this is actually true... and once you get over age 30, it's definitely not true, unless my search functions are all fucked up.

But let's say I'm wrong.  Pros are human beings, and quite a few have profiles on this site because they are looking for potential life partners, either alpha or beta.  And my own experience is that once you get past the "marketing" and the wall of defense against wanker email, that pros are nice, and happy to talk like "normal" people.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to BadJezebel)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: attitude differences between Dom's and Dommes - 6/10/2008 7:23:22 PM   
MidMichCowboy


Posts: 665
Joined: 3/23/2007
Status: offline 		OK, I'm going to give a serious answer. (This should kill this thread .. if you think I'm kidding .. look at my past responses)

When someone (either a Dom or a Domme) rejects someone else ... they are going to be accused (and there will be a lot of guilt by association) of being arrogant and capricious. Subs or slaves of either sex are also called fakes when they ignore a request by the "one twue" one. Yes, there are some posers and players. But I do believe most of us are just looking for a partner that matches our needs. But, people get very defensive when someone they've show an interest in, does not return that interest. I think that is where a lot of the discontent comes from.

_____________________________

I want to capture your mind, your spirit, your soul, your body, your devotion and your love. Then, will I give you my heart.

(in reply to BadJezebel)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: attitude differences between Dom's and Dommes - 6/10/2008 7:49:30 PM   
LATEXBABY64


Posts: 2107
Joined: 4/8/2004
Status: offline 		is this like label factory 101
and can i find  wikapedia or just ask jevees lol with all those answers

(in reply to MidMichCowboy)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/11/2008 5:22:00 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

When I hear stuff like the OP, I can't help wondering if his search function is set to 24-year-old women, max weight 135 pounds.




Sorry Red  - am a "she", straight, with a Sir. I don't have a horse in this race, this post was more of a muse on some thought i have had, related to observations i have made. I was trying to see if they were global, or just a abberation on my part.  Mind you, i would like to be 24 and 135 pounds again!

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/11/2008 5:49:10 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Whoops!  You have cmail.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to kiwisub12)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: attitude differences between doms and dommes - 6/11/2008 11:58:04 PM   
Wickad


Posts: 428
Joined: 3/12/2005
Status: offline 		(fast reply)

Greetings,

There has been a lot of talk about 'numbers' on this thread.  I think that chalking up this type of behaviour to simply 'newbies' or 'more fish in the sea' is being a bit simplistic.

In my experience, there are NOT more male submissives than Women Dominants.  What there does seem to be a huge amount of are men who are calling themselves submissives but who are in fact 'do-me' bottoms.  These folks are very annoying to lifestyle Dominant women.  Perhaps what the OP is seeing as 'Arrogant Dommes' is in fact Dominant Women used to dealing with 'do-me' male bottoms and thus being a bit guarded.  Because of this barrage, male submissives often have to jump through quite a few hoops in order to prove that they are not the 'do-me' type.  I recognize this as being unfair but ... well, frankly it's really hard to tell a 'real' (hate using the word) submissive from a 'do-me' one.

Just some of my thoughts on the idea.  Your mileage may vary.

Wickad



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 53
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