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Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 7:35:12 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

For Me a relationship based upon love
is needed in order to Dominate.
I've tried it with subs I "just" liked,
and It alwasy felt empty, meaningless.
they went home happy, and I was always missing out.

I've experianced it based upon Love & passion,
so since then I know, that that's the way
I want it, and not anyway else.
I do realise I'm not making this easy for Myself.

So how do you feel about this, and what's importent
for you ?

Im curious to hear your answers.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

Post #: 1

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 7:40:39 AM

Dnomyar

Posts: 7933
Joined: 6/27/2005
Status: offline

Like the song says "Whats love got to do with it"

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 2

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 7:44:52 AM

sub4hire

Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

Trust was for me...but yes by the time the trust came there was some love attached.

Although if I could have totally trusted without love, then no it wouldn't need to be attached.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 3

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 7:53:14 AM

SirKaton

Posts: 104
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline

Not necessary. Trust is more important and if things go well, it opens the door for love to develop on its own, however, whenever it happens, it usually throws the sub for a loop if they aren't expecting it to happen to them in this dynamic.

_____________________________

....before me there was none; after me there shall be no more...

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 4

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 7:57:11 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dnomyar

Like the song says "Whats love got to do with it"

For Me
allot.

B well.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to Dnomyar)

Post #: 5

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 7:58:09 AM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

For me to submit 100% thats my heart as well. However, i can submit some without giving my heart. So, it really depends.

(in reply to SirKaton)

Post #: 6

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 7:59:04 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
Trust was for me...but yes by the time the trust came there was some love attached.

Although if I could have totally trusted without love, then no it wouldn't need to be attached.

without trust or respect
there wouldn't b anything.

Most certainly No Bdsm.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

_____________________________

~* The only disability in life is a bad attitude. ~Scott Hamilton*~

~*Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart. ~Kahlil Gibran*~

(in reply to sub4hire)

Post #: 7

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 8:09:45 AM

KatyLied

Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline

I can be dominated by someone whom I do not love. But I won't feel a deep emotional attachment to that person. I do need to have a level of affection and trust. If I waited to fall in love before I allowed someone to dominate me I'd be a lonely person. I don't fall in love at first sight.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 8

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 8:15:20 AM

SirKaton

Posts: 104
Joined: 3/31/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Sandyshores29718

For me to submit 100% thats my heart as well. However, i can submit some without giving my heart. So, it really depends.

I should have included the caveat that really goes without saying. Every submissive is different and just like sex, there are some that need to have that feeling of loving (or be "in love" ) with the person to give their body and others that need nothing more than a wind breeze to get into that zone.

Submission is no different, but I have found that for this lifestyle, trust is an overarching factor that love cannot always compensate for, hence my original response.

_____________________________

....before me there was none; after me there shall be no more...

(in reply to Sandyshores29718)

Post #: 9

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 8:21:44 AM

topIrishsubm

Posts: 25
Joined: 7/18/2006
Status: offline

It clearly isnt with many folk, people submit to satisfy many things.

For me personally speaking, long D/s is more difficult without love. It intensifies all aspects of the dynamic. My submissive tendancies are inextricably linked to how i want to be with someone. The prioritisation of my submission and Her dominance is the how we love each other.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 10

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 8:23:10 AM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

when i met Master there was no love or expectation of love on my part. i truly looked forward to the poly life He leads. i had no trouble and totally submitted with trust. the i fell so in love with Him and all hell broke loose. never having loved before it was very confusing and made me feel i wasnt being good because of my feelings towards His use of others. i have come far since those days.
i couldnt submit to someone i loved but didnt trust. i know i submitted to Him without love.

_____________________________

weird is relative not an absolute term. Baron Frank N. Furter
Resident jingly dancing girl
The Pookie Of Darkness
Okay? Ready? Fine .Here's my hand. We are going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight ... and believe.SK

(in reply to SirKaton)

Post #: 11

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 8:28:26 AM

Sandyshores29718

Posts: 343
Joined: 4/8/2008
Status: offline

i've noticed the major difference when i've submitted and was in love with my play partner than not. Theres this energy flow there when im in love with my partner when i'm not in love. Its easier for me to handle more and to push myself when the love is there in a Ds relationship, as well as, a vanilla one. i'm the type that likes for my partner to care about me other than the play time we share together.

(in reply to favesclava)

Post #: 12

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 8:36:20 AM

christine1

Posts: 6155
Joined: 12/15/2007
From: i'm headed to HIM...
Status: offline

i can't and won't submit if i don't love the dominant i'm submitting to. i tried the no love thing and it didn't work for me.

_____________________________

i am woman! er, godzilla! hear me roar!

http://wavcentral.com/cgi-bin/log/log.cgi?id=2856&sound=/sounds/movies/godzilla/roar.mp3

He's the "boom" overwhelming...

He is my Master, my lover, my best friend my everything.

(in reply to SirKaton)

Post #: 13

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 8:47:12 AM

BBWnNC72

Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline

i have submitted to someone i don't love in the romantic way. But there was a love there, a love for that person for who they are.
Trust comes first for me, then love, either a deep friendship love or the romantic kind. i am lucky to have both.

_____________________________

huggs and purrs
Brian's kat
a.k.a. "greedy monkey"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.

(in reply to christine1)

Post #: 14

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 8:59:04 AM

defiantbadgirl

Posts: 2988
Joined: 11/14/2005
Status: offline

I didn't need love to submit, but the one I submitted to had to be someone I was dating. If a guy refused to be seen with me in public, he was not worthy of my submission. I had better things to do with my time than be treated like a married man's secret mistress. Of course now I have Sir and he loves me.

_____________________________

Only in the United States is the health of the people secondary to making money. If this is what "capitalism" is about, I'll take socialism any day of the week.

Collared by MartinSpankalot May 13 2008

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 15

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 9:31:07 AM

IvyMorgan

Posts: 729
Joined: 7/5/2007
From: Midlands, UK
Status: offline

I've submitted without love, by which I mean I have scened with them. I couldn't be in a relationship without feeling something love-like for the other party, respect, caring, that sort of thing.

(in reply to defiantbadgirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 9:37:33 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

quote:

So how do you feel about this, and what's importent
for you ?

honesty and integrity are essential...love is sweet gravy.

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 17

RE: Is love an important ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 9:44:32 AM

al2getherooky

Posts: 15
Joined: 3/15/2008
Status: offline

lust, trust and respect will work for a start. in my experience however, a lasting dynamic needs to be just that - dynamic - meaning it's got to deepen and grow or the fire will peter out. love and a bit of awe are requisite to inpspire the deeper level of surrender that is most satisfying to me (and to the control-lovers i have intimately known).

~a

_____________________________

I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes.
James Joyce, Ulysses

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 18

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 9:58:09 AM

faerytattoodgirl

Posts: 5824
Status: offline

no love = no point!

_____________________________

I did not reply to your cmail.

I am flawed.

Imperfect.

MUST SPANK!!!

SPAAAAAAAANK!!!

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 19

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/10/2008 10:04:12 AM

pinksugarsub

Posts: 1224
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

For Me a relationship based upon love
is needed in order to Dominate.
I've tried it with subs I "just" liked,
and It alwasy felt empty, meaningless.
they went home happy, and I was always missing out.

I've experianced it based upon Love & passion,
so since then I know, that that's the way
I want it, and not anyway else.
I do realise I'm not making this easy for Myself.

So how do you feel about this, and what's importent
for you ?

Im curious to hear your answers.

I wish you enough.

GoddezzT`

GoddessT, i have no interest in a D/s relationship that is not based on love. i seek a long term relationship with a Dom who cherishes me and shows me His love freely, without fear or insecurity.

i know S/some P/pl want different types of relationships, and i have no issues with T/them. i don't feel i am 'superior' to A/anyone merely because of how i'm wired.

i have learned there is no other relationship that offers me any level of satisfaction, so i don't continue to date a Dom if it becomes apparent W/we have no future together.

pinksugarsub

_____________________________

(in reply to GoddessTeaze)

Post #: 20

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