RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit?

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/16/2008 10:41:12 PM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
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quote:

ORIGINAL: trueshadow

Good question. Simple answer, no. I have submitted to a Dominant many times without loving her. If she is strong and powerful, she can make me tend to submission just being around her. It just takes the right temperment in her. She has to be the real thing.

What's the real thing for you then trueshadow?

Warm Greetingz

GoddezzT`

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/17/2008 6:39:24 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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I always thought love was important and 'necessary' but now I'm not so sure.

When I have submitted to THE MOST PAIN IN THE ASS MAN I KNOW, I hate him for it. lol. I hate mostly everything about him unless he has me under-foot. I fawn to his voice and umm mmm hands and lose my mind and only babble. Ok so he isn't a particularly 'bad person' but he drives me nuts as an equal. We have nothing in common unless he speaks to me in THAT VOICE and I lose all self control and self in general.

If you are reading this...I HATE YOU!!!

(&$#@^

and if this pisses you off..GOOD. lol all the better for me. Just makes me hotter hahah.

lol , have a nice day.

< Message edited by came4U -- 6/17/2008 6:40:55 AM >

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/20/2008 1:15:33 AM

GoddessTeaze

Posts: 1125
Joined: 10/14/2006
From: The Netherlands
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came4u

It's totally clear.

Have a good one

GoddezzT`

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/23/2008 8:07:58 PM

Daes

Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub
GoddessT, i have no interest in a D/s relationship that is not based on love. i seek a long term relationship with a Dom who cherishes me and shows me His love freely, without fear or insecurity.

I agree completely, and now that I have one, everything is so much more fullfilling and I havent been happier in a long time. It just feels so good to give him All of me. =)

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/24/2008 1:08:47 AM

L8bloomer

Posts: 480
Joined: 6/1/2008
From: Your imagination
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quote:

ORIGINAL: topIrishsubm

It clearly isnt with many folk, people submit to satisfy many things.

For me personally speaking, long D/s is more difficult without love. It intensifies all aspects of the dynamic. My submissive tendancies are inextricably linked to how i want to be with someone. The prioritisation of my submission and Her dominance is the how we love each other.

What topIrishsubm said. *grins* Except that I would replace the "Her" dominance with "His". :)

Edit:

quote:

ORIGINAL: al2getherooky

lust, trust and respect will work for a start. in my experience however, a lasting dynamic needs to be just that - dynamic - meaning it's got to deepen and grow or the fire will peter out. love and a bit of awe are requisite to inpspire the deeper level of surrender that is most satisfying to me (and to the control-lovers i have intimately known).

~a

Ooo, that says it for me too! :)

< Message edited by L8bloomer -- 6/24/2008 1:10:31 AM >

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/24/2008 8:39:30 PM

BlkMgkCarpet

Posts: 4
Joined: 6/24/2008
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If it weren't for my love, for my master, I would be all but unable to submit.

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/26/2008 6:28:35 PM

johnnyak

Posts: 64
Joined: 7/30/2007
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Perhaps love would make it all the more meaningful,sensual and develop a much better connection.Not for me.Impressing the Domme is all the fulfillment i would need.My connection would be based on her reaction towards me...i would feel she wouldnt have decided to play with me if she didnt feel some sort of connection.

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/27/2008 9:46:48 PM

mypain56

Posts: 84
Joined: 11/5/2007
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Excellent topic OP; Being that i have been burnt like so many others in our world, i have definitely learned to be cucious. But i believe i have found the " ONE".
Wonderful man,gentle,kind to a fault, powerful, strong and very loving. And yes i do love Him so very much but i will make sure i am in love and if there is a long term future there prior to surrendering completely....

Daddy's cum slut- 654-049-049

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/27/2008 10:36:48 PM

SunnyTawse

Posts: 151
Joined: 11/17/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zelia

I was first involved with my ex at 16, and being together as long as we were - I think it was natural for love to develop. At least on my side. He had to keep me in his mind as just being his sub, but to me he was my entire world - and so by the time we split I was very very in love.

It may be that the dynamic itself encourages the Dominant to be more aloof (even if in love) and the submissive to be more open and vulnerable, a prerequisite for love.

But what's really happening inside? As a Dominant, I would have to agree that only love makes the effort worthwhile.

I would have answered this question differently three months ago. I would have said that love is not a necessary ingredient of D/s--and perhaps it is not. But now, today, I say I cannot imagine D/s without it.

If you are waiting... it's worth the wait.

Sunny Tawse
Sadien Domina

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Post #: 89

RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/28/2008 1:09:13 AM

kajiraaa

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/1/2005
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Love is everything if we want the relationship going for a long term. If it is only for a night or play then anything is ok, is only a selfish experience, a selfish need we need , our personal need to be feed.... then love really is not in the picture.
But personally i love to please the partner, what he feel make me happy then is less selfish and more a love relationship. I dont like a night or play just to feed a need ..is only my opinion
nice to meet you

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/28/2008 1:18:59 AM

naturalsin

Posts: 92
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quote:

ORIGINAL: faerytattoodgirl

no love = no point!

i read the whole thread not really sure what i wanted to say, then i went back & read again.....

i could not submit if my heart wasnt involved...

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RE: Is love an importent ingredient in order to submit? - 6/28/2008 7:44:40 AM

batshalom

Posts: 1990
Joined: 9/17/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessTeaze

So how do you feel about this, and what's importent
for you ?

I didn't think I could submit to anyone for whom I did not feel a love connection, but that is exactly what I am doing now (uh ... not right this minute). For me, at this stage of my life, a fulltime mama and a fulltime college student, this is working out much better for me than a romantic attachment. He, a friend and mentor for years prior to now, gets to be bossy and I get to get my service-sub-itch scratched. There is no pressure to do anything else, no one to answer to outside the parttime dynamic, although there is mutual respect and some companionship and understanding thrown in. There is no sex, his rule, since I can't separate sex and love. It seems to be key for me.