candystripper
Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
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quote:
Ok, a few questions.
1. How do YOU define honor?
2. Why is someone else's definition of honor wrong or 'confusing' in relation to your OP?
3. If the question was generic, why the specific comments about your situation with your 'ex-friend'?
4. Why direct people to another thread if you don't want the contents of it discussed publicly? (by the way, I remember that one, and if you want to know what I thought about it, I'll tell you)
You've stated at least twice that, regardless of another persons sense of honor, if their Honor doesn't match your Honor, they are dishonorable. Does that sound right? Seriously? That reads "If they don't do things how I like them done, we can't be friends". And while it is entirely your prerogative to operate that way, why be so surprised and disappointed when you lose friends? Because surely you know that many people will not do or see things the way you do. My kink is not your kink, my submission is not your submission, my coffee is not your coffee, my honor is not your honor. Period.
Anopheles has a friend who is suffering (chronically) financial hardship. Because of his personal rules on loaning money to friends, he had to tell her 'no' one time when she asked. Guess what she did. She accepted that and is still his firend. That spoke volumes to me about HER character because she understood that when you ask someone for something that you are not otherwise entitled to, you stand the chance of being rejected - and that's fair. One of his reasons for not making a practice of loaning friends money is that he doesn't want money to come between them, be it by setting the precedent that he's an ATM machine, or by creating a situation where the other person could let him down. Those are his reasons and I find them honorable, not selfish or ego centric.
Last question. What are you really looking for with the OP?
luvdragonx
You are owed the courtesy of a reply, even though your post contained a bit of derision.
1. My sense of Honor is inseparable from other facets of my moral code. i am a devote Catholic, so i believe in the Ten Commandments and in the Church's teachings regarding venial and mortal sin...although i strongly disagree with the Church on certain issues. i would say Honor represents the quality that allows you to look in the mirror and like the person you see. It is in honesty; returning the exra $10 to the cashier no matter how poor you are. It is in compassion...holding the door for the mom struggling with a baby stroller or volunteer work with the illiterate. It is in Integrity, so that people around you can repose their trust in you without anxiety. It is all these things, and much more.
Perhaps you should start a thread on what constitutes Honor...other people's responses would be interesting reading.
2. No one else's sense of Honor was at issue in the Op post. i cannot say this any more plainly.
3. On the contrary, no one was identified as the other party to the dispute referred to in the Op post, nor will i identify them. As i have said, this thread is not about all forms of interpersonal conflict.
Again, perhaps You might wish to start such a thread.
4. i directed people to a thread which caused the end of one of my friendships, to set the record straight as to what happened. i was accused of ending a friendship because i did not want to take someone's advice. This is silly on its face; advice by its nature may or may not be taken. The fact is, amoung other things, the other party had revealed personal information about me on the boards. If i had not ended that friendship, i can only assume any further convos were also fodder for the boards. That is just unacceptable to me.
Obviously, my friends are a diverse group. People from my law school days; from my Masters' Program, from my years of litigation, from BDSM, including Men who are poly, sadistic, or otherwise not suited to me as a Dom or Master. Additionally i prize my friendships with submissives and slaves.
Such a group does not react to each of life's dilemmas in the same way. What they have in common is a Moral Code which i generally agree with, and mutual respect exsts between us.
Your story about Anopheles -- though i feel it was wrong to disclose personal information about your friend without His prior consent -- left me sad. i have had some contact with Him and find Him to be a pleasant person, someone i'd probably like to know better. It is always distressing that someone you like is suffering. i hope for better days for Him.
i do not find money a gauge by which i choose my friends. Some are quite well-to-do; some are desparately poor. Money is a vehicle for creature comforts, not the measure of anyone's worth. i can certainly understand self-preservation and a fear of recriminations might support a decision not to furnish money.
As to your last question: i am mystified why people are having trouble understanding the question in the Op post. The question is "does honor play a role in your friendships?" What is so vague about that?
camdystripper
< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/3/2005 5:58:14 PM >
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RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 
Profile
However, maybe Pink's entire reason for switching to a new profile was to gain a new sense of identity, or to update and refresh a changing identity. We all have various reasons as to why we do the things we do, and I'm sure none of us would want to force our sense of propriety on anyone else, since we're all, by posting, basically helping promote better understanding of the lifestyle and its various facets.
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