quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorTen

This is a reminder for everyone to remain on the question as of now and not continue back and forth private pokes as this is against TOS.Please take disagreements off board and not waste space with novelladrama.

quote:

ORIGINAL: ModeratorTen

This is a reminder for everyone to remain on the question as of now and not continue back and forth private pokes as this is against TOS.Please take disagreements off board and not waste space with novelladrama.

quote:

With all due respect Mod10, I'm a bit at a loss as to how the novelladramas seem to be started by the same person a large percentage of the time and appear to be "ended" by the Mods after said person runs crying to them when they don't like the turn the thread has taken. This has happened so many times perhaps what should be considered here is the source.

Just my humble opinion.

cellogrrlMK

quote:

If there is enough common ground, then a friendship can develop. If there isn't, well....there is nothing wrong with having acquainances...lol.

best regards,
stormsfate

quote:

So now, if this were a different type of environment, you would have likely started a rumor based on nothing. NOTHING. Thus why I asked the question - do you really read what the rest of us say? Or do you just pick out the bright shiny bits and run away?

luvdragonx

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

quote:

So now, if this were a different type of environment, you would have likely started a rumor based on nothing. NOTHING. Thus why I asked the question - do you really read what the rest of us say? Or do you just pick out the bright shiny bits and run away?

luvdragonx

i felt i apologised for the misunderstanding about whom was having financial trouble. If that apology didn't work, let me say so again -- i am sorry i misunderstood and thought you were referring to Anopheles.

i do not, as a rule, read someone's profile before responding. i might do more of this; but probably not. Members come here to post opinions/facts/news/etc. It is certainly possible to agree/learn/disagree/etc. without having their profile in hand.

The disagreement seems to be: should i accept personal criticism (some quite ascerbic) as a response to the thread, or should i try to re-direct the member to the Op question: do You feel Honor plays a role in friendship? i choose to have the thread re-directed if at all possible.

Finally, responding to people is a strange thing to criticise me for; particularly as i tried to re-direct their attention back to the Op question.

i hope this answers your questions.

candystripper

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i have not spoken to any of the Mods about this thread; you assume too much. i have seen warnings like this on other threads, and never assumed the Op or anyone else "went crying" to the Mods. The fact is, Mod 10 felt it was time to warn people, and so posted a warning.

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

i sadly feel let down by someone i trusted/respected/gave my friendship to. i asked for a favor, and he refused me on grounds that strike me as silly and self-important. It is always hard to seek and find and lose; i wonder if others believe honor plays a role in friendships?

pinkpleasures

quote:

There are some members who apparently cannot accept discourse -- the exchange of ideas -- and begin threads or post seeking validation alone. Nothing short of this will do, and those who fail in that expectation get flamed. Thus, the "listening" which You describe seems to be a lost art to some members.

quote:

candy,

The only things I really disagreed with (and have said so) are, 1. taking things out of context and 2. trying to shape other peoples responses to fit what you think they should be. You call it redirecting, I saw it as censorship, of a sort.

It stands to reason that before you can determine if XYZ is necessary, you need to know what XYZ is. In this case, since honor is not universally defined - stormsfate's responses are an excellent example - we need to define honor before we can comment on it. That's really what many others were trying to do and you kept insisting that their responses were irrelevant.

luvdragonx

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i have not spoken to any of the Mods about this thread; you assume too much. i have seen warnings like this on other threads, and never assumed the Op or anyone else "went crying" to the Mods. The fact is, Mod 10 felt it was time to warn people, and so posted a warning.

quote:

Did I say YOU spoke to the Mods? You assume too much; either that or your response is more of the "it's all about me" syndrome you appear to be suffering from.

cellogrrlMK

quote:

Now getting back to "honor"...what is your definition (your link didn't work) in your own words? When I use the word honor, I tend to use it in the sense that a person is set higher than other people in the way they are treated. I tend to think you are using "principled uprightness of character; personal integrity"...which is surely one of the definitions.

stormsfate

quote:

You were the one that wrote those words pink/candy. Maybe you should start listening to your own advice, since you seem so eager to ignore everyone else's after asking for it.

kry{Rk}

quote:

ORIGINAL: cellogrrlMK


With all due respect Mod10, I'm a bit at a loss as to how the novelladramas seem to be started by the same person a large percentage of the time and appear to be "ended" by the Mods after said person runs crying to them when they don't like the turn the thread has taken. This has happened so many times perhaps what should be considered here is the source.

Just my humble opinion.

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Actually, i did not necessarially disagree with anything Mercnbeth said; i just said (more than once) it had no bearing. i did not post the Op in such a way that anyone apart from the parties in conflict know who they are and what happened, but it was not a dishonorable thing i asked for, nor was i refused on such grounds. i don't understand why people got this in their teeth like a terrier with a bone; it's just not true.

Anyway, i also did not ask the question so that people could hear what "I" thought; i was interested in whether others felt friendship requires honor. Few people answered that one.

candystripper

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

i cannot give details because that would help identify the individual, and i have no desire to hold him up to public scrutiny. i needed something from him for a rather important reason (to me) and he refused me because it would have (evidentially) detracted from his self-importance.

it may seem like a small thiing -- which it is not to me -- but it is revealing and to me, this is akin to being lied to. i thought we were friends, which to me implies mutual respect and support. His support was withheld when i needed it, and he insulted me by calling me "melodramatic".

The friendship is over; and i am sad. However, my Op is not about "what happened to me" but rather, having given/acepted a friendship, do you feel honor has a place in how you interact with your friend? (Personally, i find what he did dishonorable.)

pinkpleasures

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ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures
His support was withheld when i needed it, and he insulted me by calling me "melodramatic".

Well frankly Pink you do often become melodramatic. How often have you rushed in to help someone with guns blazing only to turn and realize things weren't as they seemed? How often have you railed about being flamed only to apologize a day later for over reacting? How often do you get passionate about an idea all over the place and then forget it? How often to you have to soften and re-write posts that were written in an overly excited emotional state?

It's a pattern of behavior with you that you react on immediate emotions, often times making someone else the "wrong" person, which require you to backtrack, and wonder why this keeps happening to you.

Take a look at this situation: You asked for a favor. The person said no. You didn't think the reasons were justified and ended the entire relationship over it.

Does that seem totally rational to you? Given that we know this was an entirely cyber/phone exchange I can't imagine what issue would have been so vital, or why YOU perhaps didn't respect your friend for making their own priority choices?

quote:

quote:

I agree with the quote above.

As for "Honor", that is a word that seems somewhat elaborate for friendship for me.
I would need things more along the lines of....Honesty, Compassion, Trust, Confidentuality, Loyalty.
I find "Honor" something I reserve for the rarity of certain individuals in my life and like people like Rosa Parks, I am using her as an example, because she was the first to come to mind, because of her recent death and someone that instills a feeling of Honor in me.

*Brightspot

< Message edited by brightspot -- 11/7/2005 2:06:09 AM >

_____________________________

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinkpleasures

i cannot give details because that would help identify the individual, and i have no desire to hold him up to public scrutiny. i needed something from him for a rather important reason (to me) and he refused me because it would have (evidentially) detracted from his self-importance.

it may seem like a small thiing -- which it is not to me -- but it is revealing and to me, this is akin to being lied to. i thought we were friends, which to me implies mutual respect and support. His support was withheld when i needed it, and he insulted me by calling me "melodramatic".

The friendship is over; and i am sad. However, my Op is not about "what happened to me" but rather, having given/acepted a friendship, do you feel honor has a place in how you interact with your friend? (Personally, i find what he did dishonorable.)

pinkpleasures