Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Honor Amoung Friends


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Honor Amoung Friends Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 4 [5]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/8/2005 3:17:47 PM   
stormsfate


Posts: 849
Joined: 2/1/2005
Status: offline
Holy smokes.....are you telling me this whole honor thread and the "he's no longer my friend because he wouldn't do what I asked of him" is about someone not editing a post??????? Okay...now I really have heard it all.



quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I, for one, would be insanely curious to find out just how many people Pink/Fille/Stripper has emailed to ask to change their posts to suit her mood and preferences.

I know of at least six offhand.


:::Raises hand:::

best regards,
fate

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/8/2005 3:28:21 PM   
sub4hire


Posts: 6775
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

I, for one, would be insanely curious to find out just how many people Pink/Fille/Stripper has emailed to ask to change their posts to suit her mood and preferences.

I know of at least six offhand.


That's why you should be brutally honest and be totally frank they think you are a bitch and are afraid to approach you to change thread's. Hehe. Then no worrying about anything.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/8/2005 3:43:38 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sub4hire
That's why you should be brutally honest and be totally frank they think you are a bitch and are afraid to approach you to change thread's. Hehe. Then no worrying about anything.

I'm trying dammit! :)

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/8/2005 3:45:49 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
Honour in friendship is like trust.

Honour is not asking a friend to be different to what they are.
Honour is not expecting a friend to lie for you.
Honour is not expecting a friend to lie just because it makes you feel better.

And above all, dishonour is taking an argument with a friend and holding up high so it can be torn to pieces and hoping you will be exonerated and approved for doing so. Because with that, trust is diminished.

I concur with luvdragonx.

Peace and Love


_____________________________


.dark.




...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to sub4hire)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/8/2005 3:53:05 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

And above all, dishonour is taking an argument with a friend and holding up high so it can be torn to pieces and hoping you will be exonerated and approved for doing so. Because with that, trust is diminished.

dark~angel


i admit i'm confused...i refused over and over to expose the person i had had a conflict with; nor the exact terms of that conflict. i believe strongly that when people speak to me in email/IM/phone, what they say, they expect to remain between us...and i honor that...even though it is hard sometimes, like now.

candystripper

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/8/2005 4:02:48 PM   
darkinshadows


Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: UK
Status: offline
But you did not have to say any of it.

Whoever this person is, (which is irrelevant) you have now dishonored just by mentioning this in an open discussion.

Over and over, you have claimed that you wished to get back to the OP. The OP is that you are feeling dissatisfied with a person because they do not conform to your standard and bottom to your wish. That is the perception of most people here, even if you do not realise or admit that is the intention of the thread.

What You believe, is that the OP is about honour in friendship.
If this is what the OP is about, why not just write that? Why dishonour someone whom was once your friend by parading a disagreement on a message board? Can you not see the double standard in this at all?

This is not a personal attack on you pink. But unfortuantely it leaves me with no choice but to even label this post of mine as not an attack because you cannot see constructive critique - you see dishonour or attack on your integrity.

Peace and Love


_____________________________


.dark.




...i surrender to gravity and the unknown...

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/8/2005 7:45:35 PM   
anopheles


Posts: 241
Joined: 6/23/2005
Status: offline
The relative importance in the grand scheme of things is also to be mentioned as well.

It was a simple quote. All the while I seriously thought that this was perhaps a serious RL experience. I know that I wouldn't take 2 sentences that happened in cyberspace onto a public forum, without explaining any of the details, and not expect to bear the brunt of any dissentng opinions that returned from that public declaration.

Pink, I think a more productive way to voice your question or conflict was to explain the situation and merely ask for opinions, and accept them as they come. Since the details of this one are now known, it is clearly obvious that you could have asked that question of the CM community and not revealed any details that would give the person away, but not have subjected yourself, and the rest of the board to the inevitable barbs and unnecessary criticisms that will arise from being overly vague.

--Anopheles

_____________________________

You've got me so high, my shoes are scraping the sky -- for my Luvdragon

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/9/2005 2:58:02 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

What You believe, is that the OP is about honour in friendship.
If this is what the OP is about, why not just write that? Why dishonour someone whom was once your friend by parading a disagreement on a message board? Can you not see the double standard in this at all?

This is not a personal attack on you pink. But unfortuantely it leaves me with no choice but to even label this post of mine as not an attack because you cannot see constructive critique - you see dishonour or attack on your integrity.

Peace and Love

dark~angel


i know you have a good heart, da, and i do not feel insulted. Your criticism is well-taken; i should have used a hypothetical or just asked the question without any reference to a real-life conflict. i can honestly say it was never my intention to dishonor anyone; and i have tried to re-direct people's attention to the question "does friendship require honor?". However, none of that would have been necessary but for the fact that i referenced a friendship which ended in the Op.

So many people focused on the friendship which was terminated, rather than on the question i asked, that i can only conclude people are seeing things the same way. And even if no one else knows who is referred to, my former friend certainly does...and this thread must be causing pain to them.

i have learnt (i hope) a valuable lesson about keeping one's private life off the boards. i regret that my former friend may have suffered because i did not see the implications of the Op post. i regret that a discussion of Honor did not occur. i am responsible for what i post, and i have to accept that the Op post was so flawed, it caused this.

i listened to what you said and took it to heart. i know i'll make mistakes again; but hopefully not this one.

candystripper


< Message edited by candystripper -- 11/9/2005 4:28:44 PM >

(in reply to darkinshadows)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/9/2005 3:08:41 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Pink, I think a more productive way to voice your question or conflict was to explain the situation and merely ask for opinions, and accept them as they come. Since the details of this one are now known, it is clearly obvious that you could have asked that question of the CM community and not revealed any details that would give the person away, but not have subjected yourself, and the rest of the board to the inevitable barbs and unnecessary criticisms that will arise from being overly vague.

--Anopheles


Yes Sir..You are quite right. As i have said in response to dark~angel, i realise NOW i made a huge mistake in referencing a r/l event in the Op post. So many people read it and reflected back what they thought of my decision as described in the Op post; so few spoke to the question i wanted answered : do others feel honor is a requisite for friendship. It is my fault for not keeping r/l information out of the Op post.

i hope i have learnt a lesson...i make mistakes but i hope not to repeat this one. Posting a tidbit of information and unable to fill in the blanks has led many people to jump to conclusions...but that is human nature. Also, referencing a r/l event in my Op post led many to believe i only posted to get validation of my decision in r/l; and such was not the case.

A good discussion of the generic question about honor was thus stifled. i have to take care what i post, especially in Op posts, and try to think harder how my words will be interpreted. No one one the boards knows me in r/l; no one here can be expected to "read my mind"....it's NOT like sending an email to a friend who is already familiar with my style of writing and can use that to "get" what i have said.

i appreciate Your time and effort to try and help me, as well as luvdragonx's time and effort.

candystripper

(in reply to anopheles)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/9/2005 1:27:59 PM   
GoddessDustyGold


Posts: 2822
Joined: 4/11/2004
From: Arizona
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

A good discussion of the generic question about honor was thus stifled. i have to take care what i post, especially in Op posts, and try to think harder how my words will be interpreted. No one one the boards knows me in r/l; no one here can be expected to "read my mind"....it's NOT like sending an email to a friend who is already familiar with my style of writing and can use that to "get" what i have said.



I have read this thread with interest as it unfolded. I have to admit to searching for and locating the situation in question, once sufficient details were published.
I disagree that a good discussion was stifled. Unfortunately, you did ask the simple question, but not prior to writing your own non-hypothetical example of how you felt there had been dishonor. As vague as that was, you did present a scenario. When one puts forth a scenario, that scenario will enter into further discussion.
Perhaps it is true that no one on the boards knows you in real life, but you have been a prolific poster through several screen names, and certain parts of your personality come through very clearly. I don't mean bad personality traits. I mean we can see each other n certain lights. Some are blunt, some are extra sensitive, some are harsh, some are negative, some are even tempered, some are exciteable. As a result, we do feel that we do know you to a certain extent. So we are already aware of how you may or may not react to various things. And that is taken into consideration when the natural probing begins to help facilitate constructive discussion.
In the end, I for one feel that I would never have ended a "friendship" or even an nice "aquaintanceship" over this particular matter. It does seem trivial to Me. And I believe that many of the previous posters were trying to make the same point, in their own characteristic ways. We all have a different take on what is "honorable". Therefore, other posters were just trying to assist you in putting things in perspective. How important was this situation? Apparently it was important enough to you to end an online "friendship". Others would never have made such a request in the first place. Perhaps, instead, they would have felt that they made their own mistake, and now a good lesson had been learned.
"Honor in friendship"? Yes...if you define such as integrity and honesty and loyalty. Example: If someone lies to Me or about Me, to My detriment and their betterment, I would call that a lack of honor. But if I put something out there, and then have it quoted back to Me, I either have to apologize and make amends, stand by My original words, or just let it lie.
It is not always possible, nor is it a good idea, to try to simply delete, or edit, and that just makes it all go away. If everything could be instantly fixed with a few keystrokes, nobody would have to stop and think. And no one learns or grows. Because, there are no consequences.
As Sally said to Harry: "You can't take it back! It's already out there!"

*Edited for font

< Message edited by GoddessDustyGold -- 11/9/2005 1:31:24 PM >


_____________________________

Dusty
They that give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety
B Franklin
Don't blame Me ~ I didn't vote for either of them
The Hidden Kingdom


(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/9/2005 4:27:09 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Because, there are no consequences.
As Sally said to Harry: "You can't take it back! It's already out there!"

GoddessDustyGold


Gawd, i hate to bring this up; but Your font size really strains my eyes. As for Your point about not editing; i think we must all resolve that for ourselves. i will always edit for spelling and grammar errors; for statements i've made that violate such TOS as the copyright laws; and often, to remove a direct insult to someone. i feel i want that insult to spread as little as possible; since i was wrong to make it here.

candystripper

(in reply to GoddessDustyGold)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/10/2005 8:25:49 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Whatever is at the root of your disagreement, a real friendship will weather differences of opinion so long as both parties find the friendship to be of sufficient value to make the effort. If he's your friend, the two of you should be able to work it out. If you can't get past this bump in the road, then maybe it wasn't truly a friendship at all.

domtimothy


Despite Your decision to "out" Yourself, i still feel an obligation to keep quiet about the details.

candystripper

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/11/2005 9:03:38 PM   
domtimothy46176


Posts: 670
Joined: 12/25/2004
From: Dayton, Ohio area
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
Despite Your decision to "out" Yourself, i still feel an obligation to keep quiet about the details.

candystripper



Whatever obligations you may feel you labor under, you owe me nothing. I have nothing to hide about this situation nor any other interactions I have had, public or private with other members of the collarme community. As far as I'm concerned, your free to share any of our conversations or correspondance with whomever you see fit.
Timothy

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Honor Amoung Friends - 11/12/2005 1:14:55 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
It was never my intention to lay out the facts, as i see them, and argue my case to the boards in search of validation of my decision. i am content that i choose wisely -- or what was best for me. i wanted to forment a discussion as to how others' felt about honor in a friendship, and the usage of a r/l controversy was a mistake.

i personally think little if anything can be added to this thread of any use to anyone.

candystripper

(in reply to domtimothy46176)
Profile   Post #: 94
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 4 [5]
All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Honor Amoung Friends Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 4 [5]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.059