a typical day for a slave (Full Version)

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closedspirit -> a typical day for a slave (10/31/2005 11:25:45 PM)

I am fairly new to all of this and pondering whether I can be a slave vs. sub..I have not been in a situation where I have felt that I was able to truly submit to anyone, therefore, I am still lacking the knowledge/feelings asscoiated within a relationship.
I have done alot of reading and researching and have learned a great deal, however to put it all in perspective I really need to know what a slave actually is required by her Master to do in any given day. For example, are you allowed to choose your own clothing? Do you sit at the table and eat with him? Are you allowed to go to bed when you are tired or do you have to wait for his permission? Is there sexual servitude or is it more domestic type servitude in a M/slave relationship? And what about bondage, spanking and sub space?
I have read until my eyeballs are about to pop out, but no one seems to mention the actual details of what they have actually had to do to for their Master in order to please him..



cinnfulhussy -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 1:27:25 AM)

Its hard to generalize a typical day but I'll try. I've been in service to Master for almost 8 years now and these are some generalizations:

I typically go to bed between 1 and 3 AM, as I work a late afternoon/evening shift. Master works nights, so he gets home around 8 AM. I get up at 7 every morning to let the dogs out and to try to be available when he gets home. If he is hungry, he will either call me on the way home, or wake me when he gets home. I typically ask him what he wants for breakfast. He usually wants something warm. Breakfast burritos are his favorite. I try to always keep the ingredients on hand. After breakfast, I will do the dishes, tidy the kitchen, and look at my chore list. I am not a neat freak or well organized, so he has set up a computerized checklist that helps me stay on track. It really helps me focus, and get all my chores done. Typically morning chores are, transfer laundry to drier, clean cat boxes, feed all the weebeasties, medicate whomever needs medicating, sweep the floors, make the bed <before he gets in to it>, work out, put up dishes if need be, and straighten my bathroom. Sometimes I take a nap somewhere inbetween the time he gets home, and the time I have to head off to work. Sometimes we sit on the couch together and chat, play on the computer together, watch TV, etc. Sometimes he will have me rub his feet, or his shoulders, scratch his head, give him a manicure, pedicure or a back rub. If he is feeling frisky, he might want sex before he goes to sleep and I head off to work.
I lay his clothes out, set his alarm, pack his dinner, and make sure he has something to snack on when he wakes up.
I know his personal preference in my clothing and adhere to it, as opposed to asking him each time if an outfit is ok. If I buy something he doesnt like, it goes to the good will. He generally prefers naked at home, weather permitting. He allows a bra since I'm busty. No panties, ever. He prefers skirts to pants, and knee length to long, in general. I am mindful of his preferences in styles, colors etc when I shop and when I dress for work. When we go out together, he prefers a more sultry look, sometimes overtly slutty, depending on the occasion. He is a firm believer in being appropriate for the given situation.
I wear his collar at all times, it passes as a pretty, yet thick silver choker at work. If coworkers want to go out for dinner, etc, I typically need to get permission.
After work, sometimes I go to his clinic, since its relatively close. If I did not have dinner prepared, I will stop at a place he likes and get something for him, and sometimes his technicians as well.
Some nights I go straight home, or run errands on the way home. I do all the shopping. He controls the money, and gives me an alloted amount for groceries, gas etc. If hes off, when I get home, I strip, and see if he needs anything before I start my evening chores. Evening chores are cleaning the cat boxes again, feeding the beasts, checking the mail, straightening up, choosing one area to declutter, cooking if need be, cleaning the kitchen again... etc.
On the weekends theres more domestic stuff to be done, changing sheets, towles, mopping etc. Blah!
A couple times a month we have something "lifestyle" to do with friends. Maybe a dinner, or play party, or more typically, a tavern party. We also socialize with his friends from work. While with the vanilla crowd, things are toned down but not absent. I'm still expected to defer to him, but not be glaringly obvious. No kneeling to present him with his drink, thats for sure. He allows me to take belly dance lessons, dance in a troupe, so that requires some practice time and class time. These are rewards and privledges, something that I have to beg for.
Our relationship is primarily M/s and does not tend to involve a lot of pain play, though he will indulge on occasion. Typically theres some kind of subtle pain involved during sex but nothing all that overt.
Speaking of which, Master just walked by and told me its bed time. Tah Tah for now :D



slave4mzpatti -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 4:06:18 AM)

For me the relationship has changed since i moved in over a year ago. Mistress does not want an unhappy slave and has changed the protocol. It is much more vinilla now but as long as she knows all i want to do is please her and make her happy that is what is important to her.
The house is never clean enough for me but she is happy with the way i keep it and that is what matters.i work part time and contribute to the household.
The only way you can know wht it will be like is to do it. so maybe a trial period would be a good idea.



Synocense -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 5:56:08 AM)

Please, please, please don't get caught up in the "slave vs. less than" thing. You choose who you are and what you call yourself, no one else does. Because someone does or does not choose your clothing {or any other action for that matter} isn't guidelines for what you must be. I understand to lable is sometimes easier for the sake of understanding, but it also creates So much misunderstanding. I personally place everyone in the lifestyle into two catagories -- Top and bottom, depending on which end they are living at the given moment. The level or "intensity" they go is purely up to them, it does not make them any more or less real. : )

Syn



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 6:00:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: closedspirit
For example, are you allowed to choose your own clothing?

Some don't, most do.
quote:

Do you sit at the table and eat with him?

Some aren't, most do.
quote:

Are you allowed to go to bed when you are tired or do you have to wait for his permission?

Some ask, most don't.
quote:

Is there sexual servitude or is it more domestic type servitude in a M/slave relationship?

A good mix of both.
quote:

And what about bondage, spanking and sub space?

That's kinky stuff, not relationship stuff. Lots of people do it, some don't.
quote:


I have read until my eyeballs are about to pop out, but no one seems to mention the actual details of what they have actually had to do to for their Master in order to please him..
That's because each master is different. M/s isn't about ACTIONS or rituals or behaviors, it's about the dynamic in place.

However you choose to work that out is up to you. We each have to work out the best relationship for us, there is no one true way.



petcerina -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 6:09:54 AM)

my answer to this question is going to drive you crazy, so i'll try to make it better at the end. i am happy that you did read before hand. When i finally woke up and stopped doing this "on the side", reading was what my Mentor had me do for a couple of years. What's nice though, is that i know more than the Doms who i shouldn't be with, if that makes any sense. Now, here goes the annoying answer:

For example, are you allowed to choose your own clothing? It depends if He wants to choose it for you

Do you sit at the table and eat with him? Only if He wants you to

Are you allowed to go to bed when you are tired or do you have to wait for his permission? Depends on the circumstances

Is there sexual servitude or is it more domestic type servitude in a M/slave relationship? It depends on the relationship, however, i would tend to say that slaves usually do domestic type servitude in one form or another.

And what about bondage, spanking and sub space? That depends if He likes spankings and bondage. However, sub space is usually something that happens if you are either a sub or slave if you are permitted to get there.

Here's a more indirect answer. my advice is to start out a sub, and tell those who you become interested in that you are not ruling out being a slave, however, you are new to this and want to start slow. If you have read as much as you say you have, then you already know the difference between a slave and a sub in your own mind (and if you are not sure what the difference is, i'd love to help :) ). The key to a BDSM relationship, the thing that makes it so special, is the relationship between two or more people is dictated by the two or more people. You were looking for a cut and dry answer of how a slave lives her life, when the most accurate response i can think of is however her Master wishes. It is up to you whether you can take that leap or not. Just so you know, i'm struggling with taking that leap as well. i hope this helps.



Evanesce -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 8:54:03 AM)

quote:

I have done alot of reading and researching and have learned a great deal, however to put it all in perspective I really need to know what a slave actually is required by her Master to do in any given day.


The answer to this is going to be different for every person you ask. There is no set of rules by which all slaves are required to live. It's all very individual, and solely dependent upon the personalities, needs and requirements of the individuals involved in the relationship.

I will answer as best I can, for MY relationship only.

quote:

For example, are you allowed to choose your own clothing?


For the most part, yes. Master has given me guidelines I am to follow in terms of my attire and appearance, but He leaves it to me to decide what actual articles of clothing will adorn my body. If there is something specific He wants me to wear, He will tell me so. He also requires that I have my nails done when He is home. On the other hand, any new slave who enters our household will be held to a much stricter dress code - one of my choosing.

quote:

Do you sit at the table and eat with him?


Most of the time, yes. But there have been times when I have served His dinner, and then served as His dining table... eating my meal in the kitchen after He has finished with His. And there are those rare times when I simply serve Him His meal in the dining room and eat by myself in the kitchen. Rare, because He enjoys my company - especially now that we are separated most of the time. Any new slave who enters our household would also dine with us... or in the kitchen... depending on the day and the mood. If we go out to a restaurant, I am usually not allowed to look at a menu. It would be the same for any new slave we acquire.

quote:

Are you allowed to go to bed when you are tired or do you have to wait for his permission?


When He is not here, I go to bed when I am tired. When He is home, I go to bed when He tells me to go to bed. If I cannot sleep, I am allowed to get up after half an hour, but only if I am not bound to the bed in some way. Any new slave who enters our household would go to bed when I, or Master, told him/her to go to bed.

quote:

Is there sexual servitude or is it more domestic type servitude in a M/slave relationship?


For Master and myself, it is both. My primary duty is to make His life easier, which entails running the household, car maintenance, all the day-to-day things that He is not here to handle. However, when He is home, along with being His chef (unless He wishes to cook, which He enjoys doing), I am His personal sex toy, and He takes full advantage of that in whatever manner He chooses. However, any new slave entering our household would rarely have any type of sexual encounter with either of us. They would get dungeon time, but we don't foresee a largely sexual relationship with that individual.

quote:

And what about bondage, spanking and sub space?


What about it?



closedspirit -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 8:57:01 AM)

Thanks for all of the advice and info so far, it has been really helpful and I hope to hear more...





swtnsparkling -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 9:32:04 AM)

Every single relationship is different no matter if one is sub or slaveor if you just arent sure what you are.. There is a site i did a lot of reading at when i 1st started out. Im not saying it is the True Way site by any means only that it has listed a lot of things i was curious to know about. There is an article on just about everything. It may help but remember- Keep in mind it isnt a rule book. Read, get an idea and use common sense you can get some understanding of things. Some might disagree with a lot of it, some might think its right on, either way i found it helpful, because i had a whole LOT of questions, so i would read up on a topic then discuss it with others to see their opnion/veiwpoint.
http://www.steel-door.com/Chamber.html



Mercnbeth -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 9:54:35 AM)

quote:

I have done alot of reading and researching and have learned a great deal, however to put it all in perspective I really need to know what a slave actually is required by her Master to do in any given day.


this slave can't possibly speak for everyone, so instead of what A slave is required to do by her Master, this slave will respond to what THIS slave is required by the one who is respectfully referred to by this slave as Master.
nutshell version: whatever pleases HIM during the course of that 24 hours.

quote:

For example, are you allowed to choose your own clothing?

everything hanging in the closet intended to be worn by this slave depending on the occasion has Master's approval or it wouldn't be in the closet. sometimes He has something specific that He wants His slave to wear, other times He allows His slave to select, with His final approval.
quote:

Do you sit at the table and eat with him?

yes, and He decides which seat this slave will occupy in a restaurant.
quote:

Are you allowed to go to bed when you are tired or do you have to wait for his permission?

this slave would tell Him if she was tired and ask permission to go to bed.
quote:

Is there sexual servitude or is it more domestic type servitude in a M/slave relationship?

in our relationship there is both.
quote:

And what about bondage, spanking and sub space?

in our relationship, this slave experiences all three, whenever it pleases Him.
quote:

I have read until my eyeballs are about to pop out, but no one seems to mention the actual details of what they have actually had to do to for their Master in order to please him..

actual details?

*communicate honestly this slave's thoughts, feelings & fantasies through words or journal entries.

*physically be available to Him at ANY time of the day or night for ANY reason.

*trust His judgement

*this slave is expected to control without direction from Master:
her attitude, an unmentionable, the car if she is driving and two adorable puppies.



plantlady64 -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 10:51:15 AM)

Hello There,
There's no specific rules that are universal for all subs or slaves. It really depends on what your Master thinks he wants you to do that determines what's required of you.
There is a good book called slavecraft that discusses the mind set of slaves. Maybe reading that will help you decide if you'd prefer the title of sub/slave.
Sincerely,
sub suzanne



nenakajira -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 11:04:34 AM)

Well... I can only answer about my relationship as every relationship is different but.. here ya go:

you allowed to choose your own clothing?
Yes and no. I can choose what I like but if he does not like it I get sent to go change clothes. It happens sometimes.

Do you sit at the table and eat with him?
At home? No, I don't. I'm not allowed on the furniture. I sit by his feet when we have dinner (unless in public restaurants and things of that nature) and I cannot eat until he feeds me the first bite. A reminder that all food comes from his hands alone.

Are you allowed to go to bed when you are tired or do you have to wait for his permission?
I have to ask permission for almost everything. Sleeping, peeing, leaving the room, ect.. ect.... so yes, I have to ask his permission to go to bed if Im going to bed before he is. If he is going to be he'll normally just order me to go turn off the lights and go to bed. (Bed itself being a subjective thing. For the first four months that I lived with him I slept on the floor until he felt I earned my place beside him in his bed.)

Is there sexual servitude or is it more domestic type servitude in a M/slave relationship? And what about bondage, spanking and sub space?
Well... we have sex. We're both healthy adults with sex drives. It is always on his terms and when he wishes it.. all the begging in the world wont get me sex if he doesnt want to or is busy or not in the mood. As to kinks, we're not involved with that at all. No spankings, no bondage, no sub space... nothing of that sort.

take care
nena{R}



babygirl005 -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 12:07:23 PM)

I think every relationship grows and matures as the days progress. When Master and i first met I had never been in a D/s relationship. So from day 1 he has taught me what it means to be a submissive and now we have evolved to my being taught what it means to be His slave. I think if you have been involved in this lifestyle for a while you probaly have things that may be required of you from the first day of your commitment to your Master. But with us He knew I would need the time to form that bond and then eventually the desire to be exactlly what He wanted me to be.

So my answer to your question is that every day has been a little different than the day before. I would hope, since you are new to the lifestyle, that you would find a Master that would help you to grow into your submission and eventually your slavery if that is what you want. Your relationship with each other would then be based on what the two of you make it and not the protocols or activities of any one elses relationship.

Maybe your goal would be to find that Master that you can eventually let yourself go with and give yourself to completely. One of the great things about this lifestyle is that as a slave or sub you dont have to worry about anything but pleasing and serving the one you call Master.

By the way. Commenting on this post was required by my Master.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 12:16:28 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: babygirl005
One of the great things about this lifestyle is that as a slave or sub you dont have to worry about anything but pleasing and serving the one you call Master.

If only that were true...

True in an ULTIMATE sense, you don't have to worry about anything "but pleasing and serving."

However when "pleasing and serving" consists of: managing a household, managing growing children, managing a full time job, managing family relationships, keeping the bills paid, getting doctors visits maintained, social obligations, managing schedules and, training your behavior to their modifications...well a heck of a lot more...

Sure it's great in that it's being who you are and doing what works for you, but it's certainly a lot more responsiblity than a person has if they are single without kids.




babygirl005 -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 1:03:32 PM)

Yes, I know all those things do add to the difficulty of the lifestyle. It's true my kids are grown and away from home, but even then there is the how to act when we are all together as a family. And I do work a full time job with all its responsiblities, I do manage our home and I do have bills to pay and life things in general. What I am learning, is that in all these things, I can still please and serve my Master. Sure, we have to make adjustments as every situation comes up, and life does get in the way sometimes, but it really all goes back to my mindset and what is in my heart. How can I please and serve Him in all the daily activites and curves that life throws out. It is definatly a juggling act at times. I do feel that I am learning to think in terms of my submission to Him. Boy, its really hard sometimes, but its a growing process. I have a long way to go and probably will never arrive, but I keep trying. Fortunatly, my Master is a very patient and forgiving Master.



ownedjulia -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 3:02:32 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: closedspirit

I am fairly new to all of this and pondering whether I can be a slave vs. sub..I have not been in a situation where I have felt that I was able to truly submit to anyone, therefore, I am still lacking the knowledge/feelings asscoiated within a relationship.
I have done alot of reading and researching and have learned a great deal, however to put it all in perspective I really need to know what a slave actually is required by her Master to do in any given day.


quote:


For example, are you allowed to choose your own clothing?

No. I can question his choice if it's over my work clothing otherwise i wear what he instructs. He sometimes says 'THAT skirt, THAT top' but mostly it's 'Short Skirt', 'T Shirt' or 'Mini Skirt and white blouse', etc.

quote:


Do you sit at the table and eat with him?


Normally yes but he has to extend the invite otherwise i eat seperatley and after him
I must always clean up and wash up after meals.

quote:


Are you allowed to go to bed when you are tired or do you have to wait for his permission?


He chooses when i go to bed, i can request an early night if i am tired. he has refused in the past because certain chores have not been completed. Sometimes he will go to be before me and sometimes at the same time.

quote:


Is there sexual servitude or is it more domestic type servitude in a M/slave relationship? And what about bondage, spanking and sub space?


Oh yes, thats' all there :)

quote:


I have read until my eyeballs are about to pop out, but no one seems to mention the actual details of what they have actually had to do to for their Master in order to please him..


i do exactly one thing to please my Master - I obey as quickly and promptly as possible.




lonewolf05 -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 3:47:47 PM)

there are 4 things here bothering me...as how to answer.
you say;
knowledge
feelings
relationship
and the dreaded "typical"
knowledge is what you have with experience.....whomever you end up...will give you both.
feelings.--mine are 98% vanilla.......and mine are NOT romantic so we rule out relationship.
typical? there is no such critter.
no 2 people are the same. no 2 experiences are the same.
i'm not helping am i?
my days around here, as Her boy,...days like recently when i did 4 loads of laundry, cleaned both bathrooms, AND did 4 hrs of yardwork..is not typical but it is what i "signed on for "
i AM a domestics service slave. if it's a dirty grunt job..it's MY job!

today? i merely folded 1 load out of the dryer and did a little hands and knees floor scrubbing for Her, a few dishes. very light easy day vs some i have had. some i have done from 7 am to 8pm.


it is NEVER the same here.

wolf
good luck to ya.





Wildfleurs -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/1/2005 4:22:53 PM)

There is no typical life for a slave or a submissive. And a lot of what you've written about has to do with kinky activities, not with slavery. But I'll touch on each question.

quote:


For example, are you allowed to choose your own clothing?


Yes, although my owner did go through a period where he did pick my clothing but frankly he found it to tedious and burdensome.

quote:


Do you sit at the table and eat with him?


Yes, though I always serve him first (obviously).

quote:


Are you allowed to go to bed when you are tired or do you have to wait for his permission?


Yes I'm allowed to go to bed when I want and I'm even allowed to masturbate (its the easiest way for me to relax to get to sleep) without asking for permission.

quote:


Is there sexual servitude or is it more domestic type servitude in a M/slave relationship?


Its all of the above. I'm an all purpose slave.

quote:


And what about bondage, spanking and sub space?


Yep we do that stuff, though it has absolutely nothing to do with slavery. But it is definitely fun to do.

In general my life is like a personal assistant thats on call all of the time. I have a full time job and we don't live together (we live extremely close by), but I'm able to pretty much get done what he needs me to get done. Day to day life is actually pretty boring, its not as exciting as you may be led to believe.

C~



nelbot -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/2/2005 8:56:49 AM)

You might be better served to the ask the Dom in question what he would expect of you and what he would envision for a typical disposition of his slave, everyone is different and the only way to know what one Master would want in the relationship is to ask him and discuss in the beginning before signing a contract or formalizing his ownership of you. If you don't ask before hand you get what you are given, if you ask you can decide if that is what you want to give yourself to or not, which ultimately is the last decision you might make...make it a wise and informed one.



Elegant -> RE: a typical day for a slave (11/2/2005 11:06:27 AM)

Here is a description of one of our typical evenings that I posted months ago in reply to a similiar post
~~~~~~~

A Normal Evening
Master Archer calls me as he leaves work. That gives me time to clean myself up and attire myself befitting the evening: usually a leather body harness, high heels and stockings and makeup freshly applied. I crush some ice for his Coke and slice a lime for ganish. A plate of cheeses and crackers or other tasty nibble awaits on the coffee table.

He arrives home and I greet him kneeling just inside the door. He pauses to allow me to remove his boots then I rise to take his briefcase or lunchbag or other items he may be carrying. After allowing him time for a nature call I help him remove his work clothing and dress him in something more comfortable: usually his black silk boxers and a cotton t-shirt. (Wintertime includes his fleece robe and leather slippers)

Master then takes over the sofa and I offer him his beverage and snack...kneeling as I present it to him. Often he hand feeds me some of the snack. He then rests and watches the news while I finish preparing whatever I have started earlier for dinner. His favorite lately is tuscan italian or thai.

I serve him dinner in a white apron only..and the heels. The table is set for one with linen table cloth, linen napkins and good china every night unless he prefers to eat outside. I serve him his food and beverage and then kneel at his side in anticipation that he may need something.

When he is finished his dinner he goes to check his emails, chat or do other computer related activities. I take this time to eat, clean the kitchen and change into evening attire: nothing but heels and a leash on my collar. I then join him, kneel at his side and await whatever sadistic play he has in mind for the evening.

Yea...right....sure.

Master and I both work from home. He finishes about 5:00 and comes downstairs in his work attire: jeans or shorts and a t-shirt. I bring him his cigarettes and refille his soda glass and he goes to watch the news. Im wearing shorts and a tank top or a 'work' dress (lightweight and paint splattered). I usually go back to the basement/workshop and do some more work and he catches a nap or we might actualy do a bit of yardwork together. If the kids are here he might take the boy to Scouts or we are at a soccer or Lacrosse practice. Dinner on the weeks we don;t have the kids is usually about 9:00..he eats in front of the tv (I do serve him) and I read at the table while I eat. (I dont enjoy eating in front of the tv). He puts his own dishes in the dishwasher and I clean up the rest of the kitchen. If the kids are here we all sit at the dinner table about 7:00 for dinner and family discussion. On nights the kids are not here I do ask him for permission to go to bed but it is usually phrased similiar to 'Master...Im gonna call it a night..ok?'

Some nights, especially if the kidlets are here, we might rent a movie or go shopping or play board games. Computer time is a fought after premium...at least till we can afford for everyone to have their own pc.

We also do all those usual vanilla activities like going to the bathroom, taking the dog for a walk, talking to neighbors, etc. etc.

Reality M/s relationships are usually not fodder for best sellers.



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