RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us?

RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (Full Version)

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LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 10:53:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: camille65 I may well be mod-spanked for this but I am not asking with sarcasm. Honest. pinksugarsub, are you for real? Are you asking genuine questions or attempting to be disingenuous? She gets to this point every time she makes a new nickname and decides to try and pretend she's interested in submitting again. She's getting very good at it now- last time I think it took a whole month of posting before people finally got tired of her style.

GreedyTop -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 10:53:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 Maybe its something to do with seeing your name in lights .... or on the puter.[:)] I wonder if that can also explain those who start scores of inane threads then complain when people don't fawn over them? ~stef stef...i don't know you or your posts. But doesn't your 'hide' button work? pinksugarsub whoa... paranoia or what?

kc692 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 10:55:59 AM)
Yeah, taking longer this time than when she was : pleasureforhim,tenderpink5,pinkbutterfly,pinkee,thispinky,pinkpleasures,candystripper,delectablepink,pinkpleasures, and fillepink... whew, didnt feel like highlighting them all in pink, but anyone go back and read the posts, is the same ad nauseam stuff till folks tire of her, usually doesnt take this long........ edited to add: except for this time, the peptobismol shade and the slashy/speak usually give her away.

lronitulstahp -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 10:57:29 AM)
edited....to avoid the golden email....

pinksugarsub -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 10:59:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: InsaenPleasures quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub Just out of curiosity, can Somone explain to me the phenom of posting to a thread merely to say 'the Op was boring"? pinksugarsub Mainly to de-humanize and marginalize. Apparently your post did not meet that person's minimum standards of what is post-worthy. /shrug You have a valid point. i don't have any idea who stef or MadRabbit, etc, are. i was absent from the boards for a very long time and quite naturally, when i returned, i found almost all new members here. It does seem silly to place any importance on the 'opinions' of total strangers. . Someone mentioned identity and I think thats a good word. It is fine to self-identify, Dom, sub, switch, Socialist what have you. Others can decide for themselves if you fit that identity. Sometimes we mis-identify ourselves and may need to change how we identify. Yea. i have had a Mentor -- a Man i greatly respect, with 25 years' experience as a Master. He helped me choose the phrase 'pleasure submissive' to use in describing myself. It was a long, thoughtful process before W/we settled on the right phrase. We rely on labels a great deal though and the problem is (again as others have pointed out) that if we cannot agree on what a label means then it becomes practically useless. I would vote for simplifying labels down to their base and go from there. Others have made similar comments. The idea apeals to me but i'm not clear how it would be applied. Could You maybe give an example? My general feeling though is that we use labels as a means not just to parse information but to also rate or rank that information. One interesting excersise might be to just describe who you are and what you want without using ANY labels (even basic ones) and see who is interested. Logan Why don't You do it instead? LOL. Thank You for Your coments. pinksugarsub

NumberSix -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:00:12 AM)
Who's gonna gulp outta a brown bottle with a mr yuck sticker on it? Labels are hepful like a motherfucker. 6

stef -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:01:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kc692 Yeah, taking longer this time than when she was : pleasureforhim,tenderpink5,pinkbutterfly,pinkee,thispinky,pinkpleasures,candystripper,delectablepink,pinkpleasures, and fillepink... whew, didnt feel like highlighting them all in pink, but anyone go back and read the posts, is the same ad nauseam stuff till folks tire of her, usually doesnt take this long........ edited to add: except for this time, the peptobismol shade and the slashy/speak usually give her away. I think her memory also resets every time her name does because this isn't the first time she's played the "I don't know you or your posts" game with me. ~stef

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:03:11 AM)
Well she hasn't blasted me about being a big meanie and made a public proclamation on blocking me yet, so I think we're still in the early stages.

pinksugarsub -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:03:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit I prefer the word "identity" as opposed to "label", because the problem is when people insist on "labeling" other people, then that is when they become an issue. So are You saying a phrase in a profile such as 'seeks a Dom' is problematic? The words become our own and they are used to express parts of ourselves, not to have ourselves conformed to fit the word. As such, the words become part of us and when people attempt to tell us that we are not what we claim to be, they are not merely defining a category for communication, but negating a part of the self which people respond negatively to. (If you don't understand that, then your probably vanilla.) Nope, sorry -- i tried -- but i didn't understand. Are You now going to label me 'vanilla'? How do You reconcile that with Your first point? If people could think more in terms of "What does this word mean to you?", the kink world might actually lose 25% of it's drama. Do You mean W/we should try harder to suss out A/another member's intended meaning when T/they use a lable? How would W/we do that? What cues do You think W/we can use? Nihilism is a bit scary for some people... i don't understand what You meant here. http://www.iep.utm.edu/n/nihilism.htm i don't remember my Philosophy 101 class all that well...but i have no 'fear' of nilhilism or any other modern philosophy. What connection did You mean to make between the Op and nilhilism? ....though and I am sure it's only a matter of time before another pontificating pompous pinhead comes forth with the big answer of BDSM metaphysics for all of us to adhere to. Was this directed at the Op? Can You please explain why You found the Op 'pontificating on BDSM metaphysics'? im not trying to put words in Your mouth here. i just don't understand why You'd respond to questions in an Op You found meritless. pinksugarsub I am afraid I can't continue, because it seems you are being deliberately being obtuse, because you were offended by my first post and not actually interested in attempting to understand the points presented. But then again, given your past history of being unable to comprehend what is clearly obvious in other threads, it's possible you are just mentally unable to. Well, i'm sorry You choose not to clarify Your POV. i thought some of what You said was interesting. pinksugarsub

kc692 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:10:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: stef quote: ORIGINAL: kc692 Yeah, taking longer this time than when she was : pleasureforhim,tenderpink5,pinkbutterfly,pinkee,thispinky,pinkpleasures,candystripper,delectablepink,pinkpleasures, and fillepink... whew, didnt feel like highlighting them all in pink, but anyone go back and read the posts, is the same ad nauseam stuff till folks tire of her, usually doesnt take this long........ edited to add: except for this time, the peptobismol shade and the slashy/speak usually give her away. I think her memory also resets every time her name does because this isn't the first time she's played the "I don't know you or your posts" game with me. ~stef shes hoping your memory is as bad as she attempts to make us think hers is....funny, she remembers me,[sm=banana.gif]

pinksugarsub -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:10:51 AM)
Camille,i i thought Knight's Kyra made an interesting post, and i wanted to know more about her POV. i'm not sure why you would have thought i was being sarcastic to her, but i wasn't. pinksugarsub

kc692 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:11:30 AM)
Nope, I think I'm the only one on her hide button so far, rflmao....... Can you hurry it up, lol?

pinksugarsub -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:17:54 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GreedyTop quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 Maybe its something to do with seeing your name in lights .... or on the puter.[:)] Okay. i am not acquainted with you or your posts, so i'm a bit surprised you'd be aware of mine. Why not use the 'hide' button if that is the case? Why bother posting to the thread at all? pinkugarsub Paranoid much? How do you know she was aiming that specifically at YOU? Believe it or not, the world, or even this message board does NOT revolve around YOU. Well, she used the reply function to respond to me, and she said 'seeing your name in lights'..so i thought she meant to direct the post to me. Maybe i guessed wrong..who knows. Is it important? pinksugarsub

kiwisub12 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:20:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub quote: ORIGINAL: kiwisub12 Maybe its something to do with seeing your name in lights .... or on the puter.[:)] Okay. i am not acquainted with you or your posts, so i'm a bit surprised you'd be aware of mine. Why not use the 'hide' button if that is the case? Why bother posting to the thread at all? pinkugarsub You asked a general question - i answered it generally. Believe it or not, i wasn't trying to imply that you are attention seeking. If you choose to take it that way, then i feel that there may be some validity to your thought. edited to add - no i am not aware of your posts in a global way. So far i really haven't read anything from you that would make me take note of your posts beyond just reading them.

pinksugarsub -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:22:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: NeedingMore220 [If people could think more in terms of "What does this word mean to you?", the kink world might actually lose 25% of it's drama. Do You mean W/we should try harder to suss out A/another member's intended meaning when T/they use a lable? How would W/we do that? What cues do You think W/we can use?] Communication. Labels are merely the first step in learning someone. When I am speaking with a Dominant, I understand a general sense of how he identifies, but I know nothing more beyond that. You don't need clues to suss things out. You need to talk. Discuss. Question. Share opinions. i agree. i do that myself with Doms. i'm sure most submissives have to, just to cope with the 'onyourkneesbitch' types, etc. Would W/we be able to do the same thing with O/other members, here on the boards, in your opinion? pinksugarsub

GreedyTop -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:22:48 AM)
since you've been on the board so much, one would think that by NOW you'd have a clue about how the reply/fast reply responses work.. I mean.. you seem to have the HIDE function down.. so someone could infer from that that you'd have a clue about responses. Of course, I've been known to be wrong

AquaticSub -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:25:32 AM)
Yes I find them helpful. When I say sub, people seem to understand that I probably enjoy being the one who is beaten and the one who is fetching things. Which is really all they need to know unless they want to scene with me or interact with me on a personal level. Then they need to understand that I really don't ID as one or the other but a mix of sub/slave/pet which we've boiled down into the simple term: His girl. If someone says they are a domme, dominant, master, owner, insert your favorite term here, I'll guess that they probably enjoy doing the beating and having other people fetch for them. Which is all I need to know unless I want to scene with them or get to know them better, when I'll learn the specifics about them. It's sort of like how saying "I'm a woman" means I probably like shoes and skirts or "I'm a gamer" means I probably like RPGs and have a couple different game consoles. While I buck the trend by not liking anime, we do have plenty of game consoles in the house and we are always collecting more. With any of these statements, there are plenty of exceptions so I wouldn't ever take my assumptions too seriously but they provide some basic information that, in my experience, has proven to be reasonably accurate.

BitaTruble -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:27:14 AM)
I'm actually in the middle of writing an article in which I do address my thoughts on labels, so I'm just going to paste that here and let it speak for me. :) ~~~~~ Labels. Say that word and a whole lot of folks are going to roll their eyes. Lots of us into BDSM love cages but we hate boxes! Don't worry about it for right now. We'll get to it in a moment. If you're looking for a partner, you'll need to slap one on your ass. Slave, submissive, bottom, maid, doormat, servant, handmaiden, etc. are just some of the choices and any or all of them may fit. In the end, a label is simply a place to start. How you define it is going to have to be explained to anyone you meet anyway. The same holds true on the other side as well. Someone calling themselves a Master may very well be one, but they may not match exactly or even at all with your idea of a Master. So, while you may believe that the label of slave is going to be perfect for the label of Master the truth is, it's not the labels which have to match, it's the people wearing them. Just pick the label you feel the most comfortable with for right now because if it gets itchy or uncomfortable you can steam it off and attach a new one later if need be or get rid of it all together. If you don't choose some sort of label, then be prepared to have every male, every female, every straight, gay, intersexed, bisexual, master, mistress, submissive, slave, top, bottom, switch, butler, cd, tg, handmaiden and, hell .. see what I mean about labels? There are so many of them I don't have room to fit them all into the space I have! Narrowing your field is going to be to your benefit. So shrug off those rolled eyes and just do what you have to do. No one but you is going to have to wade through your in box of emails.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:27:41 AM)
NOOOOOOOO ..............................say it isn't so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

GreedyTop -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 11:27:41 AM)
AS.. pics? ring? send? LMAO!!

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