RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (Full Version)

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GreedyTop -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 12:58:52 PM)

that reminds me...



colouredin -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 12:59:49 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Those who are inclined will look at the profile on the 'other side'. those who arent wont.
Those who spend time on this side.. and bother paying attention to posts.. will get an idea of the people here.


Well an idea of the way the represent themselves through words not ness a reality of that person, in fact in my experiance of people here in reality (which is minimal) I have found often that their posts dont do them justice and they are far more interesting in real life (not that their posts arent)



GreedyTop -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 1:00:58 PM)

so...what are you saying?? I'm not what I appear to be???   *snort*



colouredin -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 1:01:16 PM)

far far better :P



CruelDesires -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 1:05:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

that reminds me...


Sending me some nekkid pics? *Puts my dark shades on* [8D][;)]

CD



kc692 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 1:32:24 PM)

I want some.......!!!! **now not feeling so spechul**, sighs[;)]

BTW< I just assumed I'm blocked from "it" didnt bother to read the email, but I've joined the ranks....course, I dont appear to be spechul enough to get nekkid pics.......[sm=hissyfit.gif](My version of a dommely "fit" rflmao)[sm=nervous.gif]



blackbeard519 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 3:51:29 PM)

Labels can be as confusing as helpful.  We all have different measure and different definitions.

Take the term "painslut".  I'm played with "painsluts" who couldn't take more than what I would consider a warm up.

This isn't meant to deride them, just an illustrative point.   Always ask questions.

In this example it would be "What do you mean when you say that you're a painslut".

...always ask lots of questions before the toys come out!  Makes things more fun in the end :-)



MadRabbit -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 6:46:34 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

Well, i'm sorry You choose not to clarify Your POV.  i thought some of what You said was interesting.
 
pinksugarsub


There's no need to clarify it. I am quite positive that everybody on Planet Earth was able to understand it without launching a volley of completely irrelevant and disengious questions, half of them completely out of context, that left me asking myself "Is this person for real or a moron?".




KnightofMists -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/14/2008 9:37:01 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit
"Is this person for real or a moron?".


how about a "real moron"???



kc692 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/15/2008 7:45:15 AM)

Tee hee!!!!!!!! ( a weal twue moron at that )[;)]



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/15/2008 9:43:33 AM)

again with the label factory thingy   lol          any how life is like a game. You have rules and directions hence labels with out them you can not play the game correctly also a form of cheating.  But people are always changing the rules and readapting selfish concepts so the game no longer becomes fun    WTF   oh well do what ever we all have a responsiblity to our selves and to the ones in our care  anything more then that is being lost  so make up what ever game label you want  remeber  in the end it is  you that will only make sense of it all



lally3 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/15/2008 11:34:54 AM)

for someone who hates sociatal pigeon holeing im really happy with the title of submissive, i love it and i totally identify with it, it has helped me work out myself and lead me to finding my Master. 



HarryVanWinkle -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/15/2008 11:39:19 AM)

As a masosadistic bottom switch, I do find collarme's selection of labels kind of restricting.  I/i A/also F/find T/this S/sort O/of T/typing T/to B/be V/very D/distracting.



wwwkevinww -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/15/2008 8:14:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

When a new member first joins CollarMe, T/they are offered only a few choices: Any, Dominant, Switch, Submissive and Slave.
 
On the boards i see a wider variety of labels used, and on the other side, S/some P/pl attempt to amplify or clarify T/their 'role' in T/their profile.
 
IMO, W/we need/want to use labels to some degree...they offer some valuable communication 'shorthand'.
 
W/we seem to lack any generally-accepted definitions for O/our lables. 
 
For example, W/we do not all agree on the label 'Dominant' if applied to a Man who seeks only to find a partner with whom He can indulge a specific fetish, like spanking. 
 
(And i'm sure T/there will be T/those reading the Op W/who disagree with the example!)
 
So, my question is, do Y/you feel applying a label to Y/yrself or to S/someone else, either here or on the other side, has been useful to Y/you in better communicating? 
 
Or do Y/you instead feel that labels s'times hinder Y/your efforts to communicate -- or to understand the intended meaning of something Y/you've read?
 
Should W/we abandon labels?  Use T/them less?  Define them whenever W/we use T/them? (Seems tedious.)
 
Or are things working fine for Y/you, just as they are?
 
pinksugarsub


With regard to labeling, no matter how concise you are, people will always make new stuff up.  You can have homosexuals or hetero, then they make up bi.  hey, you into 3-somes, a guy and a girl at the same time.  Maybe you want to call that a tri-sexual.  You into swinging, call that quadra-sexuals.  Or you could say your a tri-sexual because your looking for people who are hermaphadites.

I don't like some groups taking wholesome things and ruining it for the rest of us.  I use to like rainbows as a kid.  Now the fruits made it, like all nasty and sheet.  Heck, I still like fruit, but at least there is a difference between being a fruit and liking fruit.  Although, back in the day, saying you were a vegetarian was considered very fruity...

hmm, most knows typing Y/you is tedious.  most stop bothering. 



AquaticSub -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/16/2008 12:48:26 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww


With regard to labeling, no matter how concise you are, people will always make new stuff up.  You can have homosexuals or hetero, then they make up bi.  hey, you into 3-somes, a guy and a girl at the same time.  Maybe you want to call that a tri-sexual.  You into swinging, call that quadra-sexuals.  Or you could say your a tri-sexual because your looking for people who are hermaphadites.

I don't like some groups taking wholesome things and ruining it for the rest of us.  I use to like rainbows as a kid.  Now the fruits made it, like all nasty and sheet.  Heck, I still like fruit, but at least there is a difference between being a fruit and liking fruit.  Although, back in the day, saying you were a vegetarian was considered very fruity...

hmm, most knows typing Y/you is tedious.  most stop bothering. 


Damn, you caught on - we bisexuals completely fabricated our sexuality just to annoy you!



stella41b -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/16/2008 2:16:34 AM)

Labels tend to be useful only if you really understand how to use them. Some people don't. Understanding labels requires both an understanding of the language used and an understanding of human nature.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/16/2008 5:47:19 AM)

Labels are useful as a shorthand to show people "who" W/we are, but also, I think they help people feel like they "belong" to a group of  people who have the same interests, needs, etc which sets them apart from those who dont share their interests; W/we call people not into BDSM "vanilla", for example as a [shorthand] way to set O/ourselves apart from them.



LATEXBABY64 -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/16/2008 6:25:35 AM)

who the hell cares about the labels i just care what person is like. your either a debit or a credit



HalloweenWhite -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/16/2008 6:31:43 AM)

lmao "Debit or a Credit". Very true.



Vigilantejustice -> RE: Are Labels Helpful to U/us? (6/16/2008 3:38:16 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pinksugarsub

When a new member first joins CollarMe, T/they are offered only a few choices: Any, Dominant, Switch, Submissive and Slave.

On the boards i see a wider variety of labels used, and on the other side, S/some P/pl attempt to amplify or clarify T/their 'role' in T/their profile.

IMO, W/we need/want to use labels to some degree...they offer some valuable communication 'shorthand'.

W/we seem to lack any generally-accepted definitions for O/our lables.

For example, W/we do not all agree on the label 'Dominant' if applied to a Man who seeks only to find a partner with whom He can indulge a specific fetish, like spanking.

(And i'm sure T/there will be T/those reading the Op W/who disagree with the example!)

So, my question is, do Y/you feel applying a label to Y/yrself or to S/someone else, either here or on the other side, has been useful to Y/you in better communicating?
Should W/we abandon labels? Use T/them less? Define them whenever W/we use T/them? (Seems tedious.)

Or are things working fine for Y/you, just as they are?


If there were further breakdowns into more categories than are currently offered, I think there would be a lot of issue with people having an even more difficult time finding compatible partners due to search parameter issues. Person A is looking for their soulmate, but wouldn't mind a little casual fetish-fulfillment while they search. What do they search for? Do they have to perform multiple searches, one for each goal?

As I stated in another thread (cut and pasted for my own ease.)

A label [in the scene] should imply, not define.

To me this simply means that what someone identifies as does not guarantee X, Y, or Z behaviors, but suggests that they might be open to them and related activities with the right partner. For instance, D-type sees an interesting person of his/her preferred gender. Finding out they are an S-type IMPLIES that they could enjoy some form of relationship (scene, casual or LTR), but doesn't guarantee that S-type will happily do A, B and C. That doesn't mean the S-type is not a weal or twue whatever, just that the two people aren't personally compatible. (The same situation applies with the roles reversed.)

Labels help narrow, but reliance on them can cause exclusion of what would be perfectly acceptable (or better) candidates due to semantic disagreement.

Basic gist of this post?

The label is less important than knowing what that label *means* to the labeler.

-Corinne
House Vigilante



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