RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (Full Version)

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kiwisub12 -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 8:32:42 AM)

Mine started with "one-handed" books. i found i needed more than just straight sex to get to where i wanted to go, and it seemed to take weirder and weirder stuff to get me there.  I still didn't know what i was thought.

I finally wanted to start dating again after a disasterous marriage, and signed up for one of the vanilla sites - my profile included the phrase that i didn't want to be in charge of the relationship - just to have some input - and low and behold - the first reply i got was from a man asking me if i had considered being a submissive, and gave some examples. I was so turned on i couldn't stand it!
I talked to my shrink about it (it really was a disasterous marraige) and he told me that there were sites on the internet if i was interested in following this path. i was freaked out , but did a search and came up with collarme, and put up a profile. I found my Sir almost right away, dived into a 24/7 relationship with him,  and have met some very interesting people, both on line and realtime.

i just wish i had found it sooner.



Sundowner -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 9:22:21 AM)

 


My earliest memory is at prep school, somewhere between age 4 and 11. We played cowboys and indians in the playground and took prisoners - the bugger is I genuinely can't remember whether I was excited at capturing someone or being captured or both! But I can remember it as feeling somehow "different" and exciting.

As life progressed so did the same excitement over bondage and that led to the whole rich tapestry of bdsm [;)]




KnightofMists -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 9:35:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyMastersgirl

Your answer please.


For me, I think the question that would make more sense is

"How did you find out about the BDSM community"

When you state Lifestyle... from the time I became intimately involved with Alandra our lifestyle had a component of BDSM and D/s.  We never really labeled it since we didn't need to for the sake of communicating our intimate life with others.  We just live our life and enjoy the growth that came with it.

The learning of the BDSM cummunity was a bit of a twist.  I never really consider or thought that others might live the way we did.  Actually, didn't really care.  It was about 10 years ago that Alandra came my Den and showed me an essay.  It was talking about a person's relationship with their partner and I found myself agreeing and also expressing that they hadn't experienced a few things yet that Her and I have, but they wouldn't be getting their based on what I was reading.  Alandra then shared with me where she found this essay and ironcially it was from Castle Realms.  It was then I discovered the existence of the BDSM community.  At the time I was mildly interested and curious to learn more and began to do alittle more research.  My first thought was that this could be an opportunity to learn and grow in different areas from where we where at the time.  Those initial expectations was realized, my only disappointment came when I increased my expectation beyond what was realistic to expect from the BDSM community.



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 9:36:32 AM)

I was looking for cyber sex and fell into some kinky aol chatrooms.  The rest is history.



paincyprus -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 10:35:27 AM)

i think we just discovered it, or i did! my sub knew a few things and in the begining of our relationship he said why dont you tie me up? so i did, then why dont you try this or that and we bought some toys then i researched it because i had heard a few things but nothing like what i found out! one thing lead to another and now its just a way of life



MusicalBoredom -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 11:43:05 AM)

I was into spanking for as long as I can remember.  Had club where I was the "leader" and some neighbors had to report their misdeeds once a week. Later when I started dating I spanked every one of them but mostly in a playful way.  Then a bunch of us went to see Rocky Horror when it first came to town.  All of my friends laughed and said I probably wanted a castle/dungeon like that. I said I did.



SeattleDom118 -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 11:51:08 AM)

I was 16 and really big into goth, at a show at the Green door, i met this lesbian girl named Cozzi. For some reason we hit it off, and became friends for a few months till she left for LA. She was big time into BDSM and got me interested. It wasn't till the web was prolific tho that I really began to get deep into it.



blackbeard519 -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 1:28:08 PM)

When I was a teenager sneaking looks through my dad's Penthouse and Playboys I saw an ad for The Peril's of Pauline that showed a drawing of a woman bound, topless being flogged.

It was an intense, visceral reaction.  

I've been hooked since that day.



XxSpiderxX -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 1:45:58 PM)

I'd always fantisised about controling and causing pain, I never understood why I got such pleasure from torturing my younger siblings, then while I was in prison I began doing a psychological profile on myself, I figured out how to seperate my personality so that I only let certian parts out at certian times. I'd been into the lifestyle before  I got locked up, then when I got out I was able to actually care about my subs. I found out my mother was also in the lifestyle and is a sub, happily (at times) owned. She introduced me to Shabari and I knew, finally, then what I wanted out of life.



Deliena -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 2:13:21 PM)

got into goth music when i was around 11 and started reading a lot of books recommended by bands on the insides of album covers or referenced in the reviews in NME and stuff.  Always knew I liked being held down whilst kissed when I was a teenager and was fascinated with the idea of being tied up from being very young.  Read the Story of O until the pages fell out of my book and then when I went to uni I went to a club in Leeds called La Phonographique.  Met a guy who was living in Bradford at the time who was very into BDSM, hooked up and haven't looked back.  (Thank you Adam - whereever you are now!)



eepsy -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 3:30:49 PM)

Waaaayyyy back, someone was mentioning something about bdsm while we were chatting in class and I thought it would be something I like and went exploring online. Never looked back since. :)



pixidustpet -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 3:40:46 PM)

i was maybe in second grade when a few of us found some men's magazines that someone had thrown out, lots of cartoons in there with women being tied up and spanked, and "forced" to wear revealing clothing, etc.  even at that age, i liked it.

i'm nearly 45 now, and STILL like it.

kitten



PsyVamp -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 6:07:38 PM)

When I was 16, my boyfriend and I were very open with each other.
Sometimes, he'd lay on the bed and I would straddle him and put my hands around his neck... I'd start to choke him slowly - watching his eyes and his color the whole time.
Other times he'd stand in his room at attention, waiting for instructions from his "commander"
*sighs*.  If only we'd had more privacy, the fun we could have had.

A bit after that I saw the story of O, like probably most other's on this site.  Only I never wanted to be the one serving.  OH, and lets not forget the copies of "Variations" that my mother hid under her mattress...
I remember the one time hanging out with a friend and his brother in law.. the two of them got it in their heads they were going to tie me up.. well, it doesn't matter HOW big they are, or HOW many- it just "ain't happening"..lol  .. but, I am more than willing to tie someone else [:D]

Lady Jag



hiswetness -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 7:32:13 PM)

When i was 30, i actually met a Dom in a vanilla setting.  He approached me, got my number, asked me on a date.  At dinner he explained he was a dominant. At that time i thought he was "extreme", although many of the things he discussed with me intrigued me.  We never played, but we became very good friends. 



Midnght -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 9:44:03 PM)

Hahaha japanese anime. Friend of mine passed me a copy of an old flick called Pop Chaser part of a series called Cream Lemon. No english all japanese girl gets tied up and raped rather gently it's a funny story. from there I looked and found other movies books etc (this was no small feat back in the 80's) and well it just grew form there.



oneverygoodgirl -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/15/2008 10:52:34 PM)

A predatory much older man who neglected to tell me that there even was a scene. It was awesome.



crouchingtigress -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/16/2008 12:00:55 AM)

when i lived in London the guy i was dating started a club called Torture Garden...i dont know if it still exists, but ill always be grateful to him for opening that door.



HalloweenWhite -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/16/2008 5:50:00 AM)

I discovered totally by accident when I was in college I really engoyed dominating/controling girlfriends and got a buz from their enjoyment. Years later I stumbled onto online communities like C.M and began to explore.



shivermetimbers -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/16/2008 6:11:17 AM)

It was from doing a fantasy fulfillment thing for an old g/f.  We eventually met someone (who introduced us to so much more that night) who asked us how long we had been in the lifestyle.  It was the first either of us heard about it.  After that night, I was hooked, because I learned so much about what confused me about me.  We went our separate ways, but I've been going down this path ever since.



Deliena -> RE: How did you find out about the BDSM lifestyle? (6/16/2008 11:26:21 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

when i lived in London the guy i was dating started a club called Torture Garden...i dont know if it still exists, but ill always be grateful to him for opening that door.

I used to love Torture Garden!!



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