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RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 10:30:25 AM

servantheart

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: winterlight

My Dad died ten years ago. We never talked much towards the end. Truth is we never talked when i tried to he put barriers up. I have no idea why.
Still to this day i have no idea. I never had a close relationship with him and the last time i had to go into the Hospital for a test. He drove me there and stayed with me. The Nurse commented that we were very quiet and he said that we don't get along. To be honest i gave up on him long ago. He was a functioning alcoholic and not very pleasant to be around. I have seen a co-worker relationship with his daughter and it just totally amazes me. Makes me wish i had that growing up. They say the most important man in a girls life is her Father. I wish.....many, many things...
It's odd we were very close up until i hit puberty. I understand why he pushed me away but it still HURT...It still does..

To all the Fathers have a Happy Father's Day. Make sure you let your children know that YOU LOVE THEM. Give them hugs even and kisses.

I never got that only criticism. I know that had a lot to do with what i feel like today. Totally worthless..That is something i am still working on today...self esteem..

If i can face it i hope to go to my parents grave to give him flowers. I recently lost my Mom within this last year. I couldn't bear to go on Mother's day the feelings are still too raw.

take care...

*HUGE HUG*

I know what you're going through. I'm in my fourth year w/o both parents. Losing Dad was one of the hardest things I've ever been through. You'll always miss your Mom, but the intensity of grieving does lessen over time. Just allow yourself to grieve in the way that works best for you and cut yourself a ton of slack during this time, no matter how long it takes.

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to winterlight)

Post #: 41

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 10:50:37 AM

servantheart

Posts: 960
Joined: 10/26/2006
From: Houston, TX
Status: offline

If my Dad were still alive, I'd give Him a long hug, tell Him how much I love Him and bake Him a homemade pound cake then serve it to Him topped with Blue Bell Homemade Vanilla Ice Cream (His favorite dessert)

_____________________________

When you really trust someone, you have to be okay with not understanding some things.
~Real Live Preacher, Real Live Preacher weblog, 07-08-04; Anonymous author of RealLivePreacher.com

(in reply to slaveboyforyou)

Post #: 42

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 11:04:03 AM

qali

Posts: 2
Joined: 1/24/2008
Status: offline

I made my dad his favorite desert, a black bottom pie and took him out to lunch. The pie isn't the hardest in the world to make, but, it is mainly time consuming. It's his favorite, and i don't know how much longer i'll have him around. He said it was the best present he received.

(in reply to servantheart)

Post #: 43

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 11:14:01 AM

YourhandMyAss

Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Remember you can not put pictures of kids up on collarme.

quote:

ORIGINAL: jlf1961

which reminds me, I really should put a few of those pics up, I mean, it might make greedy think I am less evil

(in reply to jlf1961)

Post #: 44

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 11:53:55 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksOnlyOne

i gave mine tears.....first time i have cried on this day in a decade i guess. my dad died in 85, and today i got to thinking i was 23 when he died, and it was 23 years ago, and that just hit me so hard. time moves so quickly when it comes to some things.

wow- me too. may he rest in peace.

(in reply to SeeksOnlyOne)

Post #: 45

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 11:57:40 AM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
Status: offline

to the posters who are away from dad.

you have a unique blessing to speak your mind. [and get a reply] this is an oportunity.

one day on the otherside it will be too late. did you try the best you can? i doubt it. but it isnt me who has to be convinced.

brush your pride aside and make a call.

[i better shut up now]

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 46

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 12:27:33 PM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

I don't know where he is buried. If I did, I'd piss on his grave every Fathers' day .

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

(in reply to pahunkboy)

Post #: 47

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 12:57:20 PM

winterlight

Posts: 1319
Joined: 2/18/2006
Status: offline

ty servantheart... days like this are hard for me.

Dad died the day after my mom's birthday....It will be hard for awhile...

hugs to you and ty!

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 48

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 3:57:56 PM

thornhappy

Posts: 8596
Joined: 12/16/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

Happy Father's Day for those of you that are dads. I bought my dad a liter of Crown Royal (it's his favorite.) What did y'all get?

Cash for the hot rod he's restoring (his wish).

And a joint session of working on my RV (it was an even contest as to who had dirtier hands!) - which he finds enjoyable. We did a bunch of PM on the genset. And I paid for our dinner out today.

thornhappy

< Message edited by thornhappy -- 6/15/2008 3:59:10 PM >

(in reply to slaveboyforyou)

Post #: 49

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 5:23:01 PM

slaveboyforyou

Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline

I'm sorry that some of y'all had shitty fathers; I really am. I didn't mean to dredge up bad memories for anyone with this thread. I have had my own difficulties with my father, but he's still my father. He wasn't perfect, but he raised me. He made really good money when I was growing up, but he didn't spend it frivously. He made sure that our family never went without. He was demanding, and he could be a prick. But he meant well. I love him, and I was glad to spend part of my day with him. He liked his gift. My brother came over and cooked some catfish and hushpuppies. For those of y'all that didn't have that experience with your fathers...I'm sorry to hear that; It sucks.

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 50

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 6:42:06 PM

Irishknight

Posts: 2016
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline

I called my pop and wished him a happy Father's Day. We chatted for a bit and I made sure that they were still packing to move down here.
My dad was a strict, no nonsense kind of asshole as we were growing up. He made us tow the line while he kept food on the table, clothing on our backs, and a roof over our heads. When I screwed up. his size 8 footprint would appear on my ass to motivate me. Since those days, I have endured a great deal of shit. Every time I fight my way through and hold my head up in the end, its because of Dad's size 8 shoes. He taught me how to be a man first and foremost. He taught me to be an asshole when necessary. He also taught me how to be a dad.
He was given 6 months to live over ten years ago. I value every day we get to keep him. I think every day with him is Father's Day.

(in reply to slaveboyforyou)

Post #: 51

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 7:46:25 PM

slvemike4u

Posts: 17896
Joined: 1/15/2008
From: United States
Status: offline

God Bless You and Your Dad IK

(in reply to Irishknight)

Post #: 52

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/15/2008 8:15:03 PM

slaveboyforyou

Posts: 3607
Joined: 1/6/2005
From: Arkansas, U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

Every time I fight my way through and hold my head up in the end, its because of Dad's size 8 shoes

Hey Irish, my dad wears a size 8 too. I swear to God he does.

I wear a size 11, and so does my little brother. He used to give us shit about it. We had "freak feet" from our mother's side. LOL. He was a honery old bastard, but I still loved him. He said some mean shit today to me and my little brother. But we didn't say anything. He's my father, and it's just best to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I learned that a long time ago.

(in reply to Irishknight)

Post #: 53

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/16/2008 12:49:24 AM

proudsub

Posts: 6142
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Washington
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveboyforyou

Happy Father's Day for those of you that are dads. I bought my dad a liter of Crown Royal (it's his favorite.) What did y'all get?

Both of our dads passed years ago, but i can tell you what our daughter gave her dad. With Sharper Image going out of business she got a good buy on a pair of remote control Air Hog battling helicopters. When you fly them they can shoot lasers at each other, looks like a lot of fun.

_____________________________

proudsub

"Without goals you become what you were. With goals you become what you wish." .

"You are entitled to your own opinions but not your own facts"--Alan Greenspan

(in reply to slaveboyforyou)

Post #: 54

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/16/2008 1:32:59 AM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

I called my Dad in Cali. We chatted for a long while... laughed a lot and of course got mushy and told each other how much we loved the other.... We both gave thanks to the Lord for our relationship and THEN we talked about all the fun we're going to have this summer when he comes to visit. I've been blessed with a father with the biggest heart ever! What really did me in is when he told me, I was his first love (I'm his first child) oh yea, I did the ugly cry.

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to proudsub)

Post #: 55

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/16/2008 6:28:58 AM

favesclava

Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline

i lit a candle for my father . died 15 years ago at the age of 62 of aids. not a drug user or gay. got it from hetero sex. if you think it only happens to gays and drug users or young people think again.
i cried a bit off and on . i wasnt given the choice to be at his side during his last days. he hid it from the younger ones. the older ones never told us because of greed. i wish i could've held his hand and kiss him one last time. luckily i got to kiss him a lot while he was alive and well.
i work in a place where aids patients come for hospice. i hold their hand when there's no one to do it. i care for them the way i hope someone cared for my dad.

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Okay? Ready? Fine .Here's my hand. We are going now. I know the way. All you have to do is hold on tight ... and believe.SK

(in reply to girlygurl)

Post #: 56

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/16/2008 8:41:46 AM

DomAviator

Posts: 1253
Joined: 4/22/2008
Status: offline

I notice a lot of talk about toxic things, and long standing spats with dad etc in this thread... Im the last one that anybody would think would preach peace and being the bigger man and extending the olive branch etc - however, no matter how bad ya think he was you will miss him when hes gone. I know.

My dad would NEVER in today's modern world be allowed to raise a child. Most people who have encountered him thought he was abusive, and I guess by somes definition he probably is. Hell, he taught me how to swim by throwing me off a pier and screaming "How bad do you want to live pussy! Tread that motherfucking water!!!" His idea of how to deal with playground scrapes was to tell you "Pain is your friend, it is your bodys way of telling you that you arent dead yet!" He solved a playground bully problem by making me beat the shit out of the bully while he kept the teachers from breaking it up. Hell he didn't even want to be addressed as dad - the proper term was "Master Chief" and in my household the correct response was "Aye Aye Master Chief" We didnt have walls and doors and floors and a bathroom, we had bulkheads, hatches, decks and a head! Punishment in my house was unbelieveable - running till you puked was not uncommon, and if you puked you better swallow it because god help you if he saw it coming out of your mouth...

I became a Naval Aviator for one reason, so that he would have to salute me! Seriously, I remember that pivotal moment. I was watching An Officer And A Gentleman with a date, and in that scene in the beginning when he asked his father - "what are you afraid youll have to salute me" something clicked and I was like HOLY FUCK, 15 WEEKS OF AOCS AND I WILL OUTRANK HIM!!! From that moment on everything in my life was dedicated to getting into OCS! While I was there, despite the DI's best efforts I refused to drop out because there was no way in hell I was letting my old man have the satisfaction of knowing I DOR'd and saying "I told you so".

In retrospect, for all his sins I see that he was a good man and he did what he thought was best. He made me strong, he taught me to endure, he gave me guts, and I really dont think I would be where I am today without him. Unfortunately, I didnt really see him for what he was and realize all he did fir me until he died... So I would say to anyone, dont make my mistake. No matter what your old man did, no matter how rough your childhood was, he made you what you are today...

I still think about my old man a lot, usually when Im flying over the ocean... Hes buried out there somewhere. He was a salty grizzled old bastard, but if he wasn't I would probably be toiling away in some factory somewhere . Im the first man on my fathers side of the family to ever graduate college, and my only reason for going, much less excelling, was to spite him. I didnt give a shit about engineering - but I knew I needed an engineering degree with a 3.5 or better gpa to get those butter bars that would rock his world... If I can find peace with my dad, I think anyone can...

(in reply to winterlight)

Post #: 57

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/16/2008 10:49:08 AM

cjan

Posts: 3513
Joined: 2/21/2008
Status: offline

I'm glad you have forgiven your dad and appreciate that he loved you in his own way, DA. However, it's a mistake to extrapolate your experience on to everyone else. Some people don't deserve forgiveness, especially when they abuse women and children.

_____________________________

"I never saw a wild thing sorry for itself. A bird will fall ,frozen , dead, from a bough without ever having felt sorry for itself."- D.H. L

" When you look into the abyss, the abyss also looks in to you"- Frank Nitti

(in reply to DomAviator)

Post #: 58

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/16/2008 11:55:08 AM

spinninsweetness

Posts: 477
Joined: 3/6/2008
From: London
Status: offline

I got my dad an Argos voucher.

He is a normal dad. No drama, would be here like a shot if I needed him, He thinks he f*cked up badly raising us cos we all turned out a bit... off (me terminally single and a bit wierd, middle psycho, littlest club victim) But I think he did a grand job. I'm happy in my life, and he is at least partially responsable for it.

Thanks dad.

_____________________________

I'm English, and as such I crave disappointment. I actively seek it out.- Bill Bailey

(in reply to cjan)

Post #: 59

RE: What did y'all get your dad? - 6/21/2008 7:15:12 AM

Manawyddan

Posts: 701
Joined: 1/2/2005
From: Petaluma (Northern California)
Status: offline

A copy of the new Michael Chabon hardback. It sounded interesting when he was interviewed on NPR.

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"She always had a terrific sense of humor"
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(in reply to slaveboyforyou)

Post #: 60

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