RE: Trashed reputation

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Chaingang -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 8:25:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenxx And warned them off in a very friendly manner… I said something about knowing where the bodies had been hidden since I helped move them… And we call this game "blackmail." Why not just let your reputation speak for itself by being a standup person to begin with? I think the suggestion here is that you have dirt on them, they have dirt on you - let's all play hush, hush. Sounds like wallowing with the pigs.

sultryvoice -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 8:27:32 AM)
I have to agree with those who have said let it pass..I have heard things about others that I took with a grain of salt unless I had experienced things myself..I had one expereince when I asked about someone and I got all positve replies except for one person whose opinion I valued. I had to take into account her present disposition and how she looked at things. I then dismissed her opinion as I had heard differently from others. Those that know you well, will not go with the rumor monger. Hold your head up and just go about your business. You will look much better than her in the long run.. Repectfully, sultry

plantlady64 -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 8:43:45 AM)
Hello There, I also am a dominant personalities woman who's chosen to be a slave. This in some of our social groups has led people to say I'm not a real submissive too. In my day to day life I'm very dominating, but when it comes to men I'm attracted to I fall into little puddles at their feet and await instructions. My Master likes the fact I'm a strong person and yet I submit to him without question. I could give a rat’s ass what people who don't really know me think or say about me. I know who I am, my Master knows who I am, and so do myfamily, and real friends. I say let them talk all the trash they want to. It rolls off my back like water off a duck's back. I feel no need to defend myself to closed-minded ignorant people. I think to give their words a reaction or response only makes you play into what they are trying to accomplish. If you ignore them they just can't get why their opinion doesn't affect you. It shows them how un-important their opinion of you is. I just consider the source and pity them. Their ignorant judgments or desire to control strangers behaviors are obvious signs of jealousy, lack of control or un-happiness in their own lives. I usually take incidents like this to note who follows the crowd and who thinks for themselves. I use those lessons to form friendships in my future with people who are not part of the grapevine busy bodies who think they decide everything for everyone. As far as getting you black balled from your munch. That sounds like there's a lot more going on other than this person saying you're not submissive. My question to you is why on earth would the group care if your Dom or sub? I don't see how that could get you removed from a group that has both Tops and bottoms unless there's a lot more in the story that's transpired that you have not mentioned. Sincerely, sub suzanne

Phoenxx -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 10:49:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Chaingang quote: ORIGINAL: Phoenxx And warned them off in a very friendly manner… I said something about knowing where the bodies had been hidden since I helped move them… And we call this game "blackmail." Why not just let your reputation speak for itself by being a standup person to begin with? I think the suggestion here is that you have dirt on them, they have dirt on you - let's all play hush, hush. Sounds like wallowing with the pigs. Yup it sure does... except I'm really to lazy to actually help move a body... do you know how much one weighs? I should have been clearer. Calling up someone who is often involved in rep trashing scares the crap out of them. And isn't it funny how often it's the same people who do it... And as for wallowing with the pigs...did you know A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. (In my next life I want to be a pig) Tony

DomButNotForgotn -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 12:24:03 PM)
There really has been some excellent advice posted. How unfortunate that a short tempered Domme has made your life difficult. One light hearted solution that came to mind is to find a Domme who is quick witted, sharp tongued, and able to physically kick ass on the one that made your life miserable, show up at a fucntion with your Domme, and have her rip the other one apart (metaphorically)... I agree with plantlady64 that being blackballed from a munch seems surprising. If the reason were simply that you were a Dom masquerading as a sub, that is outrageous and absurd. If you were literally preying on unsuspecting people and causing real physical/psychological damage, I could understand it. Hang in there.

Chaingang -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 12:45:54 PM)
Yeah, the blacklisting seems to suggest something more going on - so that's a good observation. But... People can also be really petty - like beyond belief petty. That's why I described networking circles as being like high school socials. Remember all those snap judgments, popularity cliques, and those many alternate and embittered subgroups of misfits and rejects? Well, they're all back and part of your munches and discussion lists. Personally I try to find the right time and place for everything, but many people cannot socialize without trying to define a pecking order and pecking each other to death worse than two roosters in a Balinese cockfight. For my part, I love it when people take charge of small concerns like that - it means I can sit back and reap the benefits with little to no work on my part. "Serve me!" There's a Dom motto for you.

IronBear -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 2:53:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves Have you considered hiring a nice little Italian gentleman to break both her legs and remove her tongue? Seriously, the best thing is to do nothing. Actually the best thing is to laugh about it in front of your other friends in the community and play it up. Let THEM decide who is real and who isn't. Hey Oscar, they dont have to be Italian these days Y'know and probably work cheaper too. I know the feeling of having your reputation and name smeared in the mud by people who you have never met. I have had this for quite some time from a clique in Brisbane. Sure they made it virtually impossible for me to successfully find a sutible person to train as a kajira especially as they would thraeten to blackball anyone who I collared. Unfortunately, they used the only means of causing me any real harm by threatening tp target and blackball Neets (my Wife/FC) too. For that reason and that reason alone I simply removed myself from participating in the local scene even though I may attend the odd munch or club if Neets has no one to attend with. The reason for my being trashed? Partially due to badmouthing by an ex slave and mostly because i publically identify as Gorean. Still life goes on and I am not dependent on the aproval of others to survive. If one avenue closes, other will open. (Better it be they either develop a failsafe method of teleporting (since Scotty id dead) or drain the bloody duck pond and build a super highway accross it.)

Phoenxx -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 3:06:03 PM)
Hey Iron Bear, We have a fairly active Gor population here is Winnipeg. If your ever on this side of the pond, I’m sure I can introduce you to them. I know they have an e-list up and running. They are welcome at most of the munches and what knots )ok that is a bad pun) we have here. We have a group here though that I have been banned from. So, I picked up my ball and bat and found better places to play. Worked out really well LOL. Now I get to ump a few games ;-) Reputation is what people say about you. Character is who you are. Guess which one is more important? Tony

Mercnbeth -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 4:00:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves Have you considered hiring a nice little Italian gentleman to break both her legs and remove her tongue? IronBear: Hey Oscar, they dont have to be Italian these days Y'know and probably work cheaper too. I take issue with the stereotypical Italian reference. Those knowing me can determine if the "issue" is: a) The reference to the possibility of a "little" Italian b) The incongruity of breaking both legs AND removing her tongue c) The competitive and "cheaper" crew in Beenleigh d) None of the above e) All of the above f) To make a point I guess all things considered being subjected to Italian stereotypes isn't as bad as some other groups. Who else would you want to have install cement, cook a good meal, or take care of a union problem? If you were Pope and had a ceiling needing some paint, you could call Roderic O'Conor for nice Impressionist style work. But call Michaelangelo and poof - 18 years later you've got the Sistine Chapel. (ya got a problem with how long it's going to take!?) Italians brought you Gucci shoes and Prada bags, but we also perfected the "wife beater" tee shirt fad (Not authentic unless it's worn with a gold chain and red pepper charm); very popular in the lifestyle. Having a presumed reputation as a great, passionate, unquenched lover works for me. Being presumed to kill anyone who messes with you is also very good to have in your pocket when negotiating business deals. I'll take care of anyone playing with my "reputation". But if need be, I'll call upon my people's anti-defamation group, the Mothers And Fathers Italian Association. You think this is funny? Am I funny, like a clown? What is so funny about me? What the FUCK is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny.

trueshadow -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/4/2005 4:39:31 PM)
Thanks for the great responses! First of all, nah, I'm not going to court over this! Although wearing nipple clamps and a cock and ball ring under my leathers in court does sound kind of appealing and definitely kinky. The big deal is that this woman for some reason is quite influential in the local scene, and pops up EVERYWHERE. I wouldn't be surprised if she was also here. I know she's on a lot of yahoo groups and other fetish sites. She's got a lot of fingers in a lot of pies. The weird thing is she knows NOTHING about me. I've never seen her play, played with her, and she's never seen me play. For that matter, I don't play much in public anyway. I'm a shy-type guy. I've been around the scene long enough to know that pretty much everyone who is sort of 'out front' has attracted some pot shots. I've stood my, shaking my head in sympathy when I hear these stories. And I have to admit I'm usually hearing one side of the story, so it's hard to know what REALLY went on. However, having experienced this blindsided attack first hand, I can now understand that totally unjustified accusations can stick by repeating the lie over and over again. Bottom line, I agree the best thing to do is just ignore it and live my life as completely as I can. I do have other Domme, Dom and sub friends whom I like and I think like me. (One concern is, 'what are they saying about me'? I did post on a local group's website, and this woman, who was also a member, popped up and said I had attacked her credibility, etc. etc.. That never happened. Shortly thereafter, I was banned from that site because the group owner was friends with this woman. Currently, I am not on any local group sites, and I'm not invited to any FemDom parties, etc.) What is it about this scene that causes this to happen over and over and over again???

Phoenxx -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 6:08:20 AM)
quote: Who else would you want to have install cement The Portugese.... LOL we ain't good at many things.... but damn we know cement.... How do you break up a Portugese wedding ... yell out cement is ready.... And yes, I am 1/2 Portugese so this isn't racism... Tony

Phoenxx -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 6:14:27 AM)
quote: What is it about this scene that causes this to happen over and over and over again??? If it only happened in the scene, this would be a valid question. But it happens all over. At work, in school, where ever people are you will have those that are for some reason on the outside looking in. It's part of human nature. Being a left handed, stuttering kid you learn about it pretty quick. And when you grow up, if your lucky you find a crowd you fit in with. Be nice to say you don’t do it. But the truth is sometimes you do. And hey some people do need to be put outside…. lol Tony

candystripper -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 6:25:47 AM)
quote: I'll take care of anyone playing with my "reputation". But if need be, I'll call upon my people's anti-defamation group, the Mothers And Fathers Italian Association. You think this is funny? Am I funny, like a clown? What is so funny about me? What the FUCK is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny. Merc & beth Gawd i'm so jealous of the Italians and the Native Americans and the French; the list goes on. i myself am scottish; our contributions to human history have been golf --ack! -- plaid -- ack! -- and a fine liquor called single malt scotch -- yum. We have (to my knowledge) no painters, no architects, no poets, no nuthin'. Evidenitally all that was inspired by the treeless landscape was the bagpipes -- ack! -- and haggis --ACK!!!!! ROFLMAO. candystripper

Oumae -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 6:34:47 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper Gawd i'm so jealous of the Italians and the Native Americans and the French; the list goes on. i myself am scottish; our contributions to human history have been golf --ack! -- plaid -- ack! -- and a fine liquor called single malt scotch -- yum. We have (to my knowleedge) no painters, no architects, no poets, no nuthin'. Evidenitally all that was inspired by the treeless landscape was the bagpipes -- ack! -- and haggis --ACK!!!!! ROFLMAO. candystripper You may not like plaid but I reckon a rugged man in a tartan kilt can be very sexy, think Sean Connery what a shiver inducing accent and what of Robert Burns... to name but a few. Oumae

Chaingang -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 7:23:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trueshadow The weird thing is she knows NOTHING about me. I've never seen her play, played with her, and she's never seen me play. For that matter, I don't play much in public anyway. I'm a shy-type guy. Ding! Ding! Ding! Ding! I saw this part and was reminded of the ultimate perverse impulse - she wants you herself. People are strange.

candystripper -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 9:25:43 AM)
quote: You may not like plaid but I reckon a rugged man in a tartan kilt can be very sexy, think Sean Connery what a shiver inducing accent and what of Robert Burns... to name but a few. Oumae kk; i'll give ya Sean Connery, LOL. (Sorry to disappoint, Oumae, but Sean does not have an authentic scottish accent, not at least the one i heard from my family who had emigrated. Maybe he's from a wealthy family or s'thing.)Robert Burns i have tried to read but just cannot; i suppose there's just too much Gaelic in his language..so i have no idea whether he's a good poet. <pokes Oumae..just teasing, woman, LOL> candystriipper

swtnsparkling -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 9:35:56 AM)
quote: Reputation is what people say about you. Character is who you are. Guess which one is more important? Tony Character! i learned ( the hard way) Be more concerned about a person's character than with popularity or respect.

willwhipu -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 2:08:53 PM)
everyone is trying to make ya feel better , and im glad , but no one states the obvious , maybe this is a good time to reevaluate who you are and even if this lifestyle is for you , people grow and change in 20 years maybe you did also , embrace it , if ya own it ..if ya dont spit it out and keep walking with head held high[:)]

IronBear -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 5:36:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth I take issue with the stereotypical Italian reference. Those knowing me can determine if the "issue" is: b) The incongruity of breaking both legs AND removing her tongue I agree the removal of the tongue is a little of an over kill unless you give the person a Columbian Neck Tie. However having good Irish blood in me, I wouldn't consider breaking legs when you can knee cap them. (More expensive but efficient). Although an old IRA method of dealing with a female who betrayed them was to shave all the hair off her body, tar and feather her and leave her tied to a lamp post in the town/city centre. quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth I take issue with the stereotypical Italian reference. Those knowing me can determine if the "issue" is: c) The competitive and "cheaper" crew in Beenleigh Sort of depends on what you want done doesn't it? Local Beenleigh ijits would do the jop dirt cheap but they would also get caught and lay the blaim at your feet. Now some of the lads from the Gold Coast are a different story. I could ring Sydney and talk to several Sicilians but they are top price, still as a favour? yep if it were for me 'cause some one hurt Neets, no charge. I could visit Fortitude Valley in Brisbane and talk to either a couple of Chinese Gentlemen or talk to several Vietnamese friends, either would sort the matter out as a favour. Or I could round up a few of the ex mercinaries I still "play" with and we could have a right old time. Nothing serious y'know just rearranging attitudes (sort of). Disclaimer: The above comments are not advocating violence but philisophically discussion various vengence methods used by differing groups of people in an acedemic manner. quote: ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth I'll take care of anyone playing with my "reputation". But if need be, I'll call upon my people's anti-defamation group, the Mothers And Fathers Italian Association. You think this is funny? Am I funny, like a clown? What is so funny about me? What the FUCK is so funny about me? Tell me. Tell me what's funny. Would the Mothers And Fathers Italian Association be Sicilian by any chance? Just wondering if they are assiociated with friends on mine in Sydney. quote: ORIGINAL: candystripper Gawd i'm so jealous of the Italians and the Native Americans and the French; the list goes on. i myself am scottish; our contributions to human history have been golf --ack! -- plaid -- ack! -- and a fine liquor called single malt scotch -- yum. We have (to my knowledge) no painters, no architects, no poets, no nuthin'. Evidenitally all that was inspired by the treeless landscape was the bagpipes -- ack! -- and haggis --ACK!!!!! ROFLMAO. candystripper Sheesh lass, half of our architecture here was designed by the Scotts who also explored half the country. Sean Connery has a great accent (if my memmoer he is fro Grasgow as is Billy Connely. Robert Burns ~ Clasic Poet. The gaelic is very strong in the Highlands and the Scottish side are Highlanders. I do wear a kilt at time when the occasion warrents it.. No lass the Scotts have been involves in the exploration and settling of may countries and in major engineering activities. Their teaching hospital is considered on of the best in the world as is the fierce pride and record of the Scottish regiments. Gees we damn nere fought the britts to a stand still on many occasions.

WickedKev -> RE: Trashed reputation (11/5/2005 5:43:43 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: trueshadow Thanks for the great responses! First of all, nah, I'm not going to court over this! Although wearing nipple clamps and a cock and ball ring under my leathers in court does sound kind of appealing and definitely kinky. The big deal is that this woman for some reason is quite influential in the local scene, and pops up EVERYWHERE. I wouldn't be surprised if she was also here. I know she's on a lot of yahoo groups and other fetish sites. She's got a lot of fingers in a lot of pies. The weird thing is she knows NOTHING about me. I've never seen her play, played with her, and she's never seen me play. For that matter, I don't play much in public anyway. I'm a shy-type guy. I've been around the scene long enough to know that pretty much everyone who is sort of 'out front' has attracted some pot shots. I've stood my, shaking my head in sympathy when I hear these stories. And I have to admit I'm usually hearing one side of the story, so it's hard to know what REALLY went on. However, having experienced this blindsided attack first hand, I can now understand that totally unjustified accusations can stick by repeating the lie over and over again. Bottom line, I agree the best thing to do is just ignore it and live my life as completely as I can. I do have other Domme, Dom and sub friends whom I like and I think like me. (One concern is, 'what are they saying about me'? I did post on a local group's website, and this woman, who was also a member, popped up and said I had attacked her credibility, etc. etc.. That never happened. Shortly thereafter, I was banned from that site because the group owner was friends with this woman. Currently, I am not on any local group sites, and I'm not invited to any FemDom parties, etc.) What is it about this scene that causes this to happen over and over and over again??? All I can do is tell you people like this tend to end up tripping over thier own feet and getting found out. Why because if you don't rise to her bait she will get bored and move on to someone else. People will notice this and start questioning what it is she is doing. Once she is found out you will come out of it well if you have kept to your self and not ranted and raved about it. As for why this happens, it is not just this lifestyle, it happens in all walks of life, certain people who are unsure of themselves often find that the best way they can look good and to hide thier own faults is to attack others, it is her weakness not yours. I would suggest you do not disappear from your local scene though, that will really annoy her and get her found out that much quicker.

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