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ORIGINAL: WickedKev

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ORIGINAL: trueshadow

Thanks for the great responses!

First of all, nah, I'm not going to court over this! Although wearing nipple clamps and a cock and ball ring under my leathers in court does sound kind of appealing and definitely kinky.

The big deal is that this woman for some reason is quite influential in the local scene, and pops up EVERYWHERE. I wouldn't be surprised if she was also here. I know she's on a lot of yahoo groups and other fetish sites. She's got a lot of fingers in a lot of pies.

The weird thing is she knows NOTHING about me. I've never seen her play, played with her, and she's never seen me play. For that matter, I don't play much in public anyway. I'm a shy-type guy.

I've been around the scene long enough to know that pretty much everyone who is sort of 'out front' has attracted some pot shots. I've stood my, shaking my head in sympathy when I hear these stories. And I have to admit I'm usually hearing one side of the story, so it's hard to know what REALLY went on.

However, having experienced this blindsided attack first hand, I can now understand that totally unjustified accusations can stick by repeating the lie over and over again.

Bottom line, I agree the best thing to do is just ignore it and live my life as completely as I can. I do have other Domme, Dom and sub friends whom I like and I think like me.

(One concern is, 'what are they saying about me'? I did post on a local group's website, and this woman, who was also a member, popped up and said I had attacked her credibility, etc. etc.. That never happened. Shortly thereafter, I was banned from that site because the group owner was friends with this woman.

Currently, I am not on any local group sites, and I'm not invited to any FemDom parties, etc.)

What is it about this scene that causes this to happen over and over and over again???

All I can do is tell you people like this tend to end up tripping over thier own feet and getting found out. Why because if you don't rise to her bait she will get bored and move on to someone else. People will notice this and start questioning what it is she is doing. Once she is found out you will come out of it well if you have kept to your self and not ranted and raved about it. As for why this happens, it is not just this lifestyle, it happens in all walks of life, certain people who are unsure of themselves often find that the best way they can look good and to hide thier own faults is to attack others, it is her weakness not yours. I would suggest you do not disappear from your local scene though, that will really annoy her and get her found out that much quicker.

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Sheesh lass, half of our architecture here was designed by the Scotts who also explored half the country. Sean Connery has a great accent (if my memmoer he is fro Grasgow as is Billy Connely. Robert Burns ~ Clasic Poet. The gaelic is very strong in the Highlands and the Scottish side are Highlanders. I do wear a kilt at time when the occasion warrents it.. No lass the Scotts have been involves in the exploration and settling of may countries and in major engineering activities. Their teaching hospital is considered on of the best in the world as is the fierce pride and record of the Scottish regiments. Gees we damn nere fought the britts to a stand still on many occasions.

IronBear

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(One concern is, 'what are they saying about me'? I did post on a local group's website, and this woman, who was also a member, popped up and said I had attacked her credibility, etc. etc.. That never happened. Shortly thereafter, I was banned from that site because the group owner was friends with this woman.

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You may not like plaid but I reckon a rugged man in a tartan kilt can be very sexy

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ORIGINAL: theRose4U

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You may not like plaid but I reckon a rugged man in a tartan kilt can be very sexy

Where do you think Dom's go tthe idea to go out in public without undies?? [:-]

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That's pretty sage advice Kev mate. If I'm presenr and some one wants to rubbish me I find grinning at them and showing lots of teeth tends to phaze them too. It just gets hard when the rubbishing is done behind your back or the person starts attacking your family too. Sometimes a tactical retreat into the shadows works well and mix with a selected few but pop up at a club or an occasional munch at odd times as though nothing is wrong.

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ORIGINAL: NYDiscipline

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ORIGINAL: candystripper

Well, though no one will endorse this course of action, including me, i will tell you that if you can prove (1) what she said was a lie -- a statement of fact which you can prove is untrue, not an opinion alone -- and you are willing to also try and prove (2) as a direct result of the lie(s), you have been blacklisted from a place you enjoyed for "leisure"; you have a potential lawsuit. Slander, if spoken; libel, if written.

i cannot imagine damages awarded would be anything more than a modest amount, so filing against her in small claims court is probably your best option. Bear in mind, most people do not pay judgments voluntarially; you will have to report the judgment to credit bureaus; send a collection letter; etc. And this may still not be sufficient if she owns no asset you can execute judgment upon. Automobiles are generally available assets, but DMV is a royal pain.

In small claims, you can represent yourself; and it is possible (always assuming you win) that a judgment in your favor might establish in the minds of other people that you were the victim of a campaign of lies, etc.

Didn't I see this on an episode of Boston Legal?....

If not, the writers should forward candystripper royalties when it airs. While it seems legally correct, I'd pay to see the look on the judge's face. Just remember- if you do decide to go to court- make sure you wear all the fetish garb you have- just for effect...

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ORIGINAL: mistresspayday

you know what..you are soooooooo right. i am tired of individuals doing and saying things that are untrue to muddy one's rep and what's worse "most of the replys on this have been ...ah well,just let it go...do nothing,,just take it. BULL CRAP, revenge is in order...humiliating the intimidater is in order...punishing the lying backstabbing backbiter is in order.....exposing someone who is trying to sabatoge your social life is in order! why..should you just keep quiet and let people wonder ohh there she is..yea i haerd about "that" one,better stay away from her......are you kidding me? my vote is for the lawsuit,you may not get nothing but making her go through that will make her stop doing that crap. the people on here that are saying ahhh just forget about it,blow it off,do absolutelynothing are people who have never been blackballed,blackmailed,socially crippled,blacklisted,ect. it is difficult enough just to find the right person out here for you without having to fight through an imaginary wall in the mind of someone you may have your eye on wanting to introduce yourself to and "before" you even say hello they already have a "i don't wanna be bothered attitude" when you walk up before you've even said one #$%"! f#$"cking word!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sue the B#$@@tch!!

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ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


If it helps, just about every significant figure in the scene has had at least one bad-mouthing attack

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ORIGINAL: WickedKev

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That's pretty sage advice Kev mate. If I'm presenr and some one wants to rubbish me I find grinning at them and showing lots of teeth tends to phaze them too. It just gets hard when the rubbishing is done behind your back or the person starts attacking your family too. Sometimes a tactical retreat into the shadows works well and mix with a selected few but pop up at a club or an occasional munch at odd times as though nothing is wrong.

Don't disaree with you mate. People can be nasty, but I have never cared what anyone thinks or says about me. Years ago had a run in with a Domme who thought she was the Queen of BDSM who was telling anyone that listened I wasn't a 'real Dom'. I found it funny and her pathetic so every time she made the statement I would just have a good laugh. I would never give her an argument nor make any statement for or against her. This drove her crazy, as she found she couldn't get to me. I knew my friends knew the truth about me and as for the others they could believe what they wanted. In the end she found she couldn't drive me away, in fact she is the one that disappeared from the scene, so again I say patience is the key.