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Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/3/2005 7:38:05 PM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline 		i have received email from Men, identifying Themselves as "Doms" or "Masters"; but in reading Their profiles one sees They seek a relationship, amoung others, with a "switch woman". i am baffled; i thought a Dom and Master was a separate class of Man from a Switch.

Can anyone shed light on this phenoneom?

candystripper
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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/3/2005 7:43:20 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		Just depends on how a person orients themselves. With "switch" there is such a variant involved that you really just have to get to know them and how they define it for themselves.

(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/3/2005 7:52:36 PM   
Synocense


Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline 		Perhaps the dominant person would like someone to dominate, but also enjoys that person in control of another at times? Why not? : ) Or, by switch, what they really mean is a service top?

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/3/2005 7:57:26 PM   
siamsa24


Posts: 2426
Joined: 2/2/2004
Status: offline 		Well, this is not exactly the same, but it is similar....
I have in my profile that I am a switch, but I top my partner only about once a month (if that), I put that I am a switch on there because I am not a typical submissive. I am one of those top-from-the-bottom types (you know, one of the ones that everyone hates ) and switch is the closest thing that I can come up with to define that.

(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/3/2005 8:19:11 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i have received email from Men, identifying Themselves as "Doms" or "Masters"; but in reading Their profiles one sees They seek a relationship, amoung others, with a "switch woman". i am baffled; i thought a Dom and Master was a separate class of Man from a Switch.

Can anyone shed light on this phenoneom?

candystripper


You know my dear I dont have that much experience, but will still give my opinion.
I think that none and nothing in this world is plainly black or white, and there are so many shades of gray as there are people involved.
I simply dont believe that no DomlyMasterDom has ever thought about how would it be to submit to some point - even if that was just in their wild dreams and they wouldnt admit it to anyone.
That is one side of the story.
The other may be the same why I personally like dominant men - they are challenge. I have the feeling of playing with fire with them and find extreme pleasure in avoiding to be burned. I want to conquer, I am kinky predator and dont value easy prey. There is ultimate delight in having the strongest, most stubborn, proudest male under my foot.

After this confession I guess I will have even less mail in my message box.

_____________________________

I DO have profile - just lost an S somewhere along the way

Kassia

(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/3/2005 8:39:22 PM   
SirSix72


Posts: 347
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		From what I gathered in the past long while ive been around this lifestlye...there are many men that wish to seperate themselves from the vanillia crowd and usually do so by involving "kink" which in this case seems to be BDSM......some of thses men are just looking for someone to love cherish, pamper and coddle women to get what they want "kinky sex"......some of them come off Dominant and when the relationship ensues then they become the passive party believing that if they play their cards right and coddle the women then they can recieve "kinky sex" as much as they wish......I see just as many submissives/bottoms/slaves do the very same thing.....I wish you luck in the answers you seek

Master Six

_____________________________

I wish you well

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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/3/2005 9:11:09 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i have received email from Men, identifying Themselves as "Doms" or "Masters"; but in reading Their profiles one sees They seek a relationship, amoung others, with a "switch woman". i am baffled; i thought a Dom and Master was a separate class of Man from a Switch.

Can anyone shed light on this phenoneom?



Maybe these Men want to dom someone who doms someone. A sort of pyramid scheme whereby the dom's domliness cascades down through, subjects and infects any number of layers of his sub-switches and their sub-switches, etc. Heady stuff for the top with the megalomania fetish.

Oh wait, that's all of us.

Were these guys who e-mailed you named StrapforOnAvonLady and BrutallordMaryKay?

If you talk to them again please check and see if anyone ever got it working out to six degrees of slaperation.

I've had a submissive go out and recruit and train herself a submissive--despite her complete lack of natural inclination to do so. Of course she didn't make a good dominant in many ways but they sure did a lot of that talking and listening and communication about feelings bullshit that some people seem to be in favor of. For my part it was a new kind of fun to mess with the sub-sub once in a while, especially before she knew I existed. Kind of like playing with a marionette who is wearing a sock puppet (otherwise naked of course.) Other uniquely interesting opportunities for psychological sadism presented themselves at a couple of stages in that project too.

My submissive said she learned a lot by adopting the opposite perspective and in fact some of the lessons as she related them to me addressed things I'd never focused on, so it was a win/win. Plus I unloaded shithouse full of Amway products that year.


(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/3/2005 10:20:41 PM   
bladerunner5


Posts: 30
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i have received email from Men, identifying Themselves as "Doms" or "Masters"; but in reading Their profiles one sees They seek a relationship, amoung others, with a "switch woman". i am baffled; i thought a Dom and Master was a separate class of Man from a Switch.

Can anyone shed light on this phenoneom?

candystripper



Some men - and women - advertise themselves as doms/masters and switches, yes. There's all sorts of reasons for this. He may think that advertising as a True Master will help him get laid better. He may think that advertising as a Switch will help him get laid better. The guy (we'll go with that assumption for now) may be a dom/master, and happens to like some other stuff as well, and felt it would be most honest and ethical to mention it up front. They may also like what some women who switch have to offer, even when the guy in question and the woman in question don't switch together.

There's different ways to switch, too. He may or may not ever switch with his sub/slave. He might be looking for a swtichy sort to begin with, or he might not. He might be of the mind that his sub/slave will top him at his request - "The dom wants what the dom wants when the dom wants it", and having her top him occasionally certainly falls in that category of giving him what he wants.
He might be looking for bottoming experiences that *don't* come fom his sub/slave. I've switched with my long-term partners before, and I'm wondering if maybe that's not quite the right way to go for me. I'm wondering if I'm better off with a long-term dom and doing my topping outside the relationship only. Who knows?

Sounds to me like, unless having a partner who switches even occasionally, and not with you, is a total turn-off (and it is for some submissives/slaves), that it's time for an actual conversation to see what "switch" means to him.


Bladerunner
who's all for conversation

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 3:02:07 AM   
Focus50


Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline 		Speaking as a Dom who'd *never* switch (good luck Kassia, you'll need it.... lol), I also live in a BDSM backwater so I'm not one to rule out a potential partner if she's a switch. It's just that she's not gonna get her other side satisfied with me and nor do I share my partners so she'd hafta be comfortable as sub/slave only in a relationship with me.

I can't speak for those other doms or masters, but I'd never realised it was at such a level as to be considered a phenomenon. Maybe they're still working out who they are - why don't you pick one out and simply ask?

Focus.

(in reply to bladerunner5)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 3:56:45 AM   
fyreredsub


Posts: 3403
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		perhaps they seek a switch to top others in play but submit to only themselves.
i can't say as i know of too many Doms/Masters who want a strap-on taken to themselves but do enjoy their sub/slave using it on others

_____________________________

"Accordingly, men must then either fulfill their nature, or deny it, and in denying their nature, deny us ours, for ours is the complement to theirs. " Renegades

(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 5:43:14 AM   
FTopinMichigan


Posts: 571
Joined: 7/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper
i have received email from Men, identifying Themselves as "Doms" or "Masters"; but in reading Their profiles one sees They seek a relationship, amoung others, with a "switch woman". i am baffled; i thought a Dom and Master was a separate class of Man from a Switch.
Can anyone shed light on this phenoneom?


My favorite partner is a Dom that bottoms. I enjoy a man that has a personality as my own, and that usually comes through in many Doms that I meet. I don't play casually anymore, and rarely do pubic scenes, yet I've developed a reputation that offers them the knowledge in knowing their interest will be protected, if they get together with me. Trust and privacy being very important, as we know how most people view Doms that bottom.

To preface, I'm one of "those" people that uses labels sometimes.

I don't enjoy a Dom that wants to BE "submissive," as I see that as an oxymoron. IMO, he either is a "Dom" that enjoys his masochist side now and then, or he's probably a "Dom" just playing at it, if he wants to actually BE a submissive. I enjoy Doms that bottom, or men that identify as switches. (And those "switches" are the men that enjoy both sides, and don't take on the title to hide behind one or the other due to their own lack of confidence in themselves and their desires. Too many subs, that I've met have identified as switches and Doms, then they were emphatically "submissives.")

There are some Doms that just enjoy the pleasurable pain that I love to give them, and they don't submit to me, as much as they come to me as a trusted friend, so that we both might enjoy one another...with "me" topping "them!" The aren't "submissive" although they may "submit" to me in a scene.

There are Doms that probably should call themselves switches to make it easier for those that have to have labels. But, there are also the submissive types (many that I know), that play as dominants because they have admitted if they didn't, they wouldn't "play" at all. The ratio of male subs, to dominant women is no where near being equal....so they "switch" out of the desire to "play," and not that it has a thing to do with who they are at all. I find it a dangerous proposition for a sub to "play" Dom, but I know it happens.

This is why I feel it's most important to get to know the person, versus just the "player." I only enjoy a man that has confidence in himself to know himself and his desires, and that he has interest in me as person, and not just as the lady that will take him where he wants to go.

If a man has his interest listed in his profile, I think that's great. He knows what he likes, and probably has a good sense of self. He may not fit the needs of some, but he is probably serving himself better, by being true to his own desires, while still seeking others too.

K

(in reply to candystripper)
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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 6:01:21 AM   
MsIncognito


Posts: 742
Joined: 5/24/2005
Status: offline 		I bet if you asked them directly rather than asking the folks in the fora to to speculate you'd probably get a response

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Can anyone shed light on this phenoneom?


(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 6:52:49 AM   
TahoeSadist


Posts: 176
Joined: 8/3/2004
Status: offline 		Speaking as one of the Dom-types who enjoys switch females, it's because I have found that switches seem to have a certain mindset or personality or whatever you wish to call it, that appeals to me. As to your question in the topic, no I'm not. While I love switch females, and would have no prob owning one who then topped others, there would be the proverbial snowballs chance in Hell of me being one of her subjects.

TS

_____________________________

As long as one of us enjoys it, it's not a total waste

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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 7:20:12 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Sounds to me like, unless having a partner who switches even occasionally, and not with you, is a total turn-off (and it is for some submissives/slaves), that it's time for an actual conversation to see what "switch" means to him.

Bladerunner
who's all for conversation


Yes Sir; that is the crux of the problem; i want a Dom or Master who is completely and totally faithful to me...i cannot tolerate the idea of His having "something on the side". And i cannot switch; i seek a truely dominant Man who is in charge...and "topping" Him is just not for me.

i am truely amazed at the high number of profiles i have seen like this. It's as confusing as saying You're straight but are seeking a gay Man as a partner.

candystripper

(in reply to bladerunner5)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 7:26:24 AM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

i am truely amazed at the high number of profiles i have seen like this. It's as confusing as saying You're straight but are seeking a gay Man as a partner.

Which isn't confusing at all really, unless you see a relationship as needing sex, and needing it only with that one person, in it.

And while I know for YOU, that is exactly what you need, surely you can see that other people will want different things, and thus realize that there's no confusion at all.

But then people say the concept of a "slave top" confuses them and I don't have the slighted idea why. I know it's not terribly COMMON, but it's a pretty simple concept to me.

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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 7:27:15 AM   
Belladonna82


Posts: 171
Joined: 7/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well i will just say from experience....the Master which i serve is by far a switch but Master sometimes likes me to lol take control of other submissives/slaves.Personaly i do no consider myself a switch because i have never had the urge to dom. a man,but maybe in a way i am....i guess i'm just from the good ole days when the men wore the pants and women were aloud to be b*tches to each other. lol Wait thats the Gorean way too...explains why i am a kajira. So in simple.....the Alfa slave in a poly home has to have a little switch in her since she has to help lead the house if Master isnt present.

_____________________________

Blessed be!

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RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 8:44:12 AM   
Synocense


Posts: 255
Joined: 8/8/2004
Status: offline 		What is your definition of Topping, dear? : )
I felt this way once because I feared Topping meant "to take control" -- that is not necessarily the case as I am presently learning. You can Top, give the sensations, but still be taking direction from him. That is my idea of a service Top. : )

Syn

_____________________________

Before you speak, ask yourself..
Is it kind? Is it true? Is it necessary?
Does it improve upon the silence?

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 8:46:11 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I bet if you asked them directly rather than asking the folks in the fora to to speculate you'd probably get a response

MsIncognito


quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper

Can anyone shed light on this phenoneom?


i have asked; one man told me he was only soliciting switch women for his buddy. "STUPID" is not tattoooed on my forehead. i think the Forum is the proper place for obtaining more information about this phenoneom; i'm not certain why You feel it is an inappropriate topic.

candystripper

(in reply to MsIncognito)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 8:51:44 AM   
Oumae


Posts: 911
Joined: 1/4/2005
Status: offline 		Why jump to the conclusion it means they want to switch?

If stated under what they seek it can as TahoeSadist said mean that they enjoy domming someone who switches with others.

Oumae

_____________________________

Is cuma le fear na mbrog ca leagann se a chos.
( The man with the boots does not mind where he places his foot)

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Are Doms or Masters also Switches? - 11/4/2005 9:03:33 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Why jump to the conclusion it means they want to switch?

If stated under what they seek it can as TahoeSadist said mean that they enjoy domming someone who switches with others.

Oumae


Frankly, this just never occured to me. i guess i lack imagination. However, since i seek a monogamous relationship, such Men are unsuitable for me, regardless of the explanation.

BTW, it is this sort of input that makes the Forums such a great place for me to learn. TY Oumae.

candystripper

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Profile   Post #: 20
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