RE: Emotional S&M?

RE: Emotional S&M? (Full Version)

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RedMagic1 -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 11:29:23 AM)
quote: I'm not sure if you're replying to me specifically, or doing a fast reply. Fast reply, not directed toward you. I saw two basic "sides" on this thread. On one hand, some people were saying, "This is what I've seen worked and didn't work based on these things that happened," and on the other hand, others were criticizing posters for "ideological imperialism." Someone who has to use 25 syllables to discuss something, and who can't talk about concrete events, is hiding truths from other people, or themselves.

Prinsexx -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 11:53:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit Attempting to hide behind "emotional masochism" to avoid your real issues will forever lead to your endless cycles of drama that we all get to skip past as clutter on these message boards. I've read enough of your history to learn to not read anymore nor take anything you have to say on this subject as having any authority. Then you are simply deluded to think you speak for everyone. And there you go: another D type fallen for the bait of an emotional masochist. Well done....but drop the delusion of speaking for everyone. It's very ugly in my personal opinion.

Prinsexx -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 11:57:44 AM)
quote: True Mental Masochistic! You can take them damn near any fucking where, mentally be the most evil bastard of the universe, and it's long lasting effects upon them is like shooting somebody with a fucking Nerf Ball gun. In fact you don't have guide them back from the pits of mental darkness, you don't well even have to pamper or aftercare their ass. Hell, in fact you can be out in kitchen eating Pizza together, laughing and talking about shit, as if nothing had fucking happened at all. That's so spot on. But watch out with the word True.....one of the I I club will get you and try to trip you up.

Prinsexx -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 12:01:27 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: softness though I think we may have hit the problem - D/s for some does not come with equipment and toys ... D/s for some is everything from laundry lists, to school runs, to walking the dog, to hanging from your nipples in the local dungeon screaming "Thank You Sir may I please have another?!" Brilliantly stated. Emotion doesn't rely on equipment.........

Prinsexx -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 12:07:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl I'm my own sadist. This in my opinion is a brilliant statement. dear gypsygirl I enjoy you responses and respect your insights and extensive knowledge, the care you take when writing. I'm thinking now as to wether emotional masochism is gratuitous or not. My conslusion? yes and no (as ever) both at the same time. My justification for sticking with emotional masochism though it that it is pleasureable. Now anyone is free to accuse me of being fratutitous by equating my own emotional pain with pleasure. but then my question remains; isn't this whole world of bdsm really emotional luxury anyway on the World stage? Just a thought.

gypsygrl -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 12:10:05 PM)
Ok, I gotcha. And, while its possible to deceive using little words, little words lack one thing: the power of obfuscation. (there's a big word for ya. lol)

Prinsexx -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 12:20:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 -- but at the end of the day the only thing that matters to me are RESULTS. -- but at the end of the day the only thing that matters to me are RESULTS. ~ I've reflected your words back at you. Unfortuneately Red this thread is about emotional masochism and not about YOU. Again you resist mailing me on the other side and continue to use the forum here to springboard your ego. I am happy for you if you live in a world of comfort where you are used to others perpetuating that comfort zone for you. But my comtributions on the forums here are not ego trips and quite honestkly if you find me of no authroity whatsoever why do you continue to strut in front of me and others here as if YOU are the only authroty. Yes I am a therapist And yes I am extremely well qualifies in other areas too if you want an ego debate. But i do not, indeed I avoid appearing here as any authpriy and am careful whereever possible to state in my personal opinion or in my point of view or speaking from experience. I am also a baptised Christian. That god is human and suffered just as every other man would have. He was careful many many times to show his personal pain and not disguise it. Again if I personally cause you such antagonism then we can discuss it in mail but not here where others are cobtributing brilliantly to the concept of emotional masochism. Or you know whatever.....as I have also said on the forums to Simply Michael: pain has made me very thick skinned.

Prinsexx -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 12:22:59 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl Ok, I gotcha. And, while its possible to deceive using little words, little words lack one thing: the power of obfuscation. (there's a big word for ya. lol) obfuscation.......I love Latins don't you?

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 1:05:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: gypsygrl Ok, I gotcha. And, while its possible to deceive using little words, little words lack one thing: the power of obfuscation. (there's a big word for ya. lol) Big words, Small words, Medium Sized words. The multiple meanings, what context again. Oh yeah.. Let's not forget about red harrings in debates. Run away Derailments of thought trains. Christ, there are things about myself, I don't want eveybody to know. I know I tend to put myself out here on the message boards at times. Still there's a lot of shit, I'm not giving up to everybody. I'm not that big of a mental whore. Hell some of the events in my life, are more like quick sand, nothing very concrete about it. Damn, at times I might be wadding through a swamp. I try hard to not hide the truth from myself. At times, I do catch myself trying to convince myself that certain things are really not they way I suspect they are. I mean damn, I think everybody needs something to believe in at times. Hell, but I can't find fault with anybody who does not want to fully come completely clean with a bunch of strangers on the internet. Damn, I mean can't one have any privacy these days? I mean I'm still in the middle of some internal Debates regarding God, Jesus, Budda, Mohamd, and The Greek Gods. I'm really not certain what to honestly believe fully. I know a lot of people believe in different things. I know that I exist and other people do. Some things I'm just not a 100% certain about though. So, I'll keep some of these thoughts hidden. It would not shock me to find out that I've been living life in a state of denial every time I prayed to God. I mean what if God really does not exist? Then again what if God does? I am really hiding the truth from myself somehow here? I suppose to could pull the motel 6 checkout on life and find out if there really is a placed called the afterlife. Ummmmm... think I'll leave that one alone for now. Because what if there is no afterlife. If somebody on this Message Board is hiding things from others, OK... and this effects me how? (saying that in my best Richard Dean Anderson voice). I'm certain of one thing, that real people are making posts to the board, that this is not the result of Robot Scripting Programs. Sure, everybody tends to form an opinion of other people on here. Even opinions change in time. All depends upon the topics, and what people exchange on the topic. Clearly there is some weight to things people say. It's damn near impossible for people to be 100% fake or dishonest on here. Lord, I would at least hope there are some grains of truth, even from anybody who is hidding things from other users, or hidding things from themselves. Hell, at times many people come here and make posts about something, because they are having a problem with something. Pretty certain some people are a little unclear or uncertain at times. Big words, small words, Med size words. About like Cars. What's important is if you know how to drive a car. What size are you used to driving. At times a Big word can mean volumes of information. If I toss out this name "Sigmund Freud" it should speak a volume of knowlegde, to those who are familair with his madness. At the very least nearly everybody knows who is was. How many people on here totally understand the depth of What Mr. Freud wrote, tried and did. Anyways, "Right Wing Christianity", "Freudism"... OH hell... many labels and different doctrines of things to get caught up in. To the point it becomes "ideological imperialism". I mean some people actually are Die Hard believers in everything "Sigmund Freud" wrote. Shame that some of them don't know much about Budda. Shame that they don't open thier minds to explore the writtings of anybody else beside those things they hold into so strongly. I think I understand the meaning and concepts of what ""ideological imperialism" means. At least at a basic level. I don't know perhaps I need somebody to sit me down and explain it all to me like a 4th grader. Big words might somehow confuse my mind. I'm not certain who to believe more "Freud", "Budda" or "Jesus". Oh I should save all this for a good therapist who is just as lost and clueless as I am. Asking them what is the correct and true way to live my life. I'm pretty certain I'm human, I have faults and that well, I'm somewhat fucked for being less then perfect. Some people are a bit Anal retentive at times. Some people simply drop their pants and dump it all out all over the place. But Hell, is somebody is not wanting to drop their pants, and dump everything out in public on a message board. I wonder what Freud would have to say about that one. Would Jesus have an objection one way or another. Perhaps Budda has the answers and I could achieve full enlightment finally and have peace of mind at last.

gypsygrl -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 2:18:30 PM)
quote: My justification for sticking with emotional masochism though it that it is pleasureable. Now anyone is free to accuse me of being fratutitous by equating my own emotional pain with pleasure. I don't think you need to justify it unless you're already uncomfortable with it. (I tend to be uncomfortable with everything so I have alot of justifications handy. I'm one of those people who've been hit hard with existential angst and spend alot of time pondering my own existence while I stare at my belly button.) And, I wouldn't accuse you or anyone else of being gratuitous. I describe myself as being an emotional masochist meaning I get some kind of (prolly dyfunctioal and perhaps unhealthy) satisfaction from emotional pain and know I can get off on it. I worry that I wouldn't know what to do with 'happiness' if it was handed to me and would find a way to sabotage it so I could get my pain fix. I haven't self-consciously incorporated emotional masochism into my bd/sm play/relationships as yet because I haven't reached the point where I've decided it was ok to do so. For me, the sexual pleasure isn't enough to make it ok. In this case, the big O might not be worth chasing (as I kind of said in an earlier comment). But, that's me.

MadRabbit -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 2:32:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Prinsexx quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit Attempting to hide behind "emotional masochism" to avoid your real issues will forever lead to your endless cycles of drama that we all get to skip past as clutter on these message boards. I've read enough of your history to learn to not read anymore nor take anything you have to say on this subject as having any authority. Then you are simply deluded to think you speak for everyone. And there you go: another D type fallen for the bait of an emotional masochist. Well done....but drop the delusion of speaking for everyone. It's very ugly in my personal opinion. Talking for everyone? Fallen to the bait of an emotional masochist? What in the hell are you talking about? I mean...really... I'm not entirely sure I am the one qualifying for delusional status at the moment...

SimplyMichael -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 2:37:27 PM)
Rabbit, You are beating up on her, giving her her fix. CM has an ignore feature, it can greatly improve the quality of your experience.

MadRabbit -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 2:49:15 PM)
Whether or not she gets some cyber fix off of my replies has no bearing or influence on whether or not I contribute my thoughts. I'm of the opinion that Prinsexx's posts on "emotional masochism" have about as much authority and revelance as a post by Manson on "consensual sadism" and I think mentioning that is relevant to the people reading the thread. If it makes her feel good about herself to think she manipulated me into submitting my response, then more enjoyment to her. It's of no consequence to me.

Owner4SexSlave -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 3:23:08 PM)
This thread has me back to wondering about a few things. The difference between how people process mental/emotional pain. Difference between somebody taking something really extreme like it was shot from a nerf ball gun, and somebody taking a mental nerf ball gun shot like it was a shot gun blast to their soul. I know I use the word true in front of mental masochist in previous post. Basically, for me personally it's somebody who actually craves for a pain fix strong enough at times they will push for the real deal to happen. Then literally take it like a nerf ball blast in the end. I myself still have some issues with some of the things that frankly got out of control in my opinion, and that I had to work at maintaining extreme amounts of self control. The whole disabling of the topping from the bottom modes. Honestly, it felt more like somebody winding me up and hitting a button, just letting me shred their ass to pieces for their fix. In many regards this was challenging to my own sense of self esteem. In many ways it actually harden me up a lot and make me tougher. I've been taking a lot of things into careful consideration in regards to prospective partners now days. In many ways, if I end up with an extremely masochistic partner, just how far or much further will I or can I go? Do I even want to go any further. Big differences between some basic concepts of a Pleasure Slave vs. a Painslut. When I toss out the word painslut. I'm using this word with the personal thoughts of somebody who's into Edgy Extreme pain. Literally the most extreme sense of the word. PainSlut. That they can't seem to get enough. I've been wrestling in disturbing thoughts about different directions, how far do I want to go down some roads. For me it's a bit like being down the road. OK wow... do I want go back down that road again. if so, how far down the road... is there an End to the road. What new limits will I cross. Things before that were more like hard limits in my own book, got altered. I'm not the same person anymore because of it. Well, I'm the same person, however I'm very changed as the result of it.

came4U -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 4:40:33 PM)
quote: This thread has me back to wondering about a few things. The difference between how people process mental/emotional pain Now we are talkin' This is something one has to figure out before they delve into it. The dominant must be emotionally secure in this case. If not, then at least MORE mentally secure to dish out the sweet abuse that he expects her to endure without cracking (to the point of breakdown). the difference is how they process such emotional pain is the point. Is it truly emotional pain at all if they enjoy it (or physical). What it seems like, your painful issue is... when will it end? when will her satisfaction be enough and mine end? would I/could I go further? I don't know such answers but to me it seems like you have seen it/done it all and it is possible nothing can satiate you any further. Maybe that is why some choose to limit themselves partner-wise. Maybe you had too much experience and are left cold now...doesn't mean you are done and forgotten. All is not hopeless. Is it that after all these things you have done ..you mistook someone's need for emotional pain and brought it to physical? Not your fault at all. Most likely it was misguided signaling and lack of communication that was the cause.

Prinsexx -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 4:48:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: MadRabbit If it makes her feel good about herself to think she manipulated me into submitting my response, then more enjoyment to her. It's of no consequence to me. Spoken like a real emotional sadist. jeees it must be love...........[:D]

Prinsexx -> RE: Emotional S&M? (6/22/2008 5:03:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: came4U The dominant must be emotionally secure in this case. If not, then at least MORE mentally secure to dish out the sweet abuse that he expects her to endure without cracking (to the point of breakdown) This is so brilliantly and simply understood (from a submissive perspective) in my opinion. Maybe it's easier to just sketch out a scenario I watched in the purely physical re lm to make a point about the emotional one. I once watched a sadistic Dominant top 'control' his no limits slave. She is a pain pig.....(a lovely term is it not?) and he lashed her amd lashed her until the entirety of her back seemed to bleed. She never cried out. She never flinched. She had no limits. It was entirely consensual. At the end of the scene she was dressed and packing away the equipment and smiling into his eyes like she had just come back from a Butlins Holiday camp. Although of very different social classes (we English I admit are like that and of course I speak for everyone) and quite different ages it was obviously love between them. I had arelationships where 'his' comments used to tear me to shreads. To most others it seemed like an abusive relationship. But the tears are my real sexual turn on. Whip me with equipment and I will not cry. I will probably signal stop because well I just don't always get off on the sensation or the sensation just hurts way too much and there's no point to the scene sometimes for me. But the heaviness in my chest, the tightness of my throat, the swelling eyes and the way I want to hide my face away, the very real sensations of shame or guilt or loneliness well that is like an orgasm. It really does need someone who doesn't get sucked into my pleasure principle, someone who can remain differentiated, in control of their own emotions in a very hardened manner, for me to feel emotionally safe and expressives. A good emotional sadist needs to be one of the most fixed persons in this bdsm world....for me, and it's rare in my humble opinion. PS edited to add I wouldn't assume to speak for everyone in the UK about the social class thing. Just being ironic.

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