What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-limits"?

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What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-limits... - 6/22/2008 9:01:33 PM

Untouched1282

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What is your opinion of hard-limits? Please specify if you are referring to subs or slaves, and if you see a difference between the two.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 9:07:23 PM

Lashra

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I think that they are human beings who set up hard limits as a safety net for themselves. Subs I believe have hard limits, most slaves do not unless their Owners also have the same hard limits. I truly believe that slaves need to negotiate (and get to know their Owners)harder than subs, because they give up all control to someone else. I think slaves need to mirror their Owners or there will be trouble in paradise.

~Lashra

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 9:13:12 PM

Untouched1282

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I completely agree. I mean, I think some slaves enjoy the idea of being used for anything, constantly being pushed to extremes they don't want or have been too afraid to explore. I think it's exciting -- for the most part. However, I do agree that it is paramount that you get to know you're "owner"/Domme, their intentions for you and the lifestyle by building a well-rounded relationship to make sure that they know what they are getting into.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 9:14:17 PM

underworld026

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Like I think subs can have them.
But slaves really don't have a choise in the matter.
But like if you're gonna be a slave to someone.. You should have enough trust in your Master/Mistress that they wont take advantage of you like that.. You know?

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 9:19:50 PM

MySweetSubmssive

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People who say that they don't have hard limits suffer from a lack of imagination.

When someone mentions that they have limits, it's a sign of realism and thoughtfulness about D/s. I feel this way about both submissives and slaves. I can see progressing within a relationship where the slave's hard limits mesh with my own, but they would still have limits. And that's fine.

Mss

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 9:48:20 PM

dragon2760

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Thank You MySweetSubmssive, i don't think i could have said it any better myself.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 9:57:17 PM

Untouched1282

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

People who say that they don't have hard limits suffer from a lack of imagination.

When someone mentions that they have limits, it's a sign of realism and thoughtfulness about D/s. I feel this way about both submissives and slaves. I can see progressing within a relationship where the slave's hard limits mesh with my own, but they would still have limits. And that's fine.

Mss

hmmmm....

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 9:58:20 PM

MySweetSubmssive

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Could you clarify that, please?

Mss

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 10:01:48 PM

Aimtoplease101

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That the person in question is at least somewhat rational and realistic.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 10:15:50 PM

katie978

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I second the rational and realistic version. While I can see someone giving up their limits when they trust a dominant fully, there are many things that are so far outside the realms of good taste and morality that a slave might not imagine them-then, when a clever, cruel dominant does, the slave is suddenly back-pedaling like crazy.

'I have no limits at all, Mistress' is certainly romantic (in my admittedly skewed notion of things) and a great fantasy, but when you find yourself sucking a double-headed dildo on a hovercraft, you're going to seriously regret those words.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 10:16:30 PM

welcomerain

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quote:

People who say that they don't have hard limits suffer from a lack of imagination. When someone mentions that they have limits, it's a sign of realism and thoughtfulness about D/s. I feel this way about both submissives and slaves. I can see progressing within a relationship where the slave's hard limits mesh with my own, but they would still have limits. And that's fine.

Agreed. If you ever meet someone who says they have no hard limits, show them some information on Buchenwald. Most likely they'll think of some limits in a hurry.

I like the distinction between slaves and submissives where a slave is someone who has agreed to accept a dominant's limits as his or her own. I suppose you can say that the slave has no limits of his or her own, but the limits are still there regardless. The relationship will experience trouble if the dominant wants to expand his or her limits and the slave doesn't. Even if they agree to have the same limits at the outset, I don't see them necessarily staying that way.

Just to add to that, I don't see limits as an inherently bad thing anyway. If I'm learning how to cook for my partner, I want to know what she hates as much as what she likes. You can experiment with a lot more confidence if you know what to stay away from.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 10:22:42 PM

MySweetSubmssive

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I particularly like finding out about soft limits ... because there is lots of room for sadism and making someone sweat there. (smiling beatifically)

Mss

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 10:31:46 PM

Untouched1282

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The word play used in this lifestyle continues to fascinate me...

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 10:44:20 PM

welcomerain

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MySweetSubmssive

I particularly like finding out about soft limits ... because there is lots of room for sadism and making someone sweat there. (smiling beatifically)

Mss

Exactly.

Continuing the food analogy, a peanut allergy = hard limit. Not eating fish because I've hated it since I was a little kid = soft limit. A smart dominant learns exactly which area to push.

On that note, I think I'll go have something to eat. I'm hungry for some reason.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 11:11:02 PM

peppermint

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

What is your opinion of hard-limits? Please specify if you are referring to subs or slaves, and if you see a difference between the two.

We've been looking for a sub/slave, male or female for quite some time. When one writes to us claiming to have no limits and will do anything, we explain that we do not deal in fantasy. We also do not consider the ones who wish to be kept naked, beaten, and locked up in a cage when not being sexually used.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 11:22:43 PM

MsOpal

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IMHO, subs, slaves and even Dominant types are human beings first and have the right to say they do not wish to be maimed, marked permanently where it could be seen easily, permantly injured (physically or mentally), subjected to things that are dangerous to their health, or killed - and those things can have many sub-lists that could get mired in minutia if we wanted to get every little nuance down. Saying "no limts, and, but I trust you to take care of me" would make for a line in an obit if it was carried too far. Even a slave who "gives up all rights" again - IMHO - cannot abdicate their right to live to someone else.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/22/2008 11:51:35 PM

SweetNika

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I consider myself both a submissive and slave, when I trust someone enough I become their slave. His limits become mine but they still exist. There isn't much I would not do for my owner. I strongly believe that my owners first obligation is to protect me physically, mentally, and emotionally but I am also obligated to protecting myself. If I thought he was asking more of me than I could give I would respectfully make him aware of it I owe him that but more importantly I owe myself and my children that. Unless it put me or my children in danger I would NEVER willfully go against my owners command.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 1:35:05 AM

LadyPact

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I agree with the above. Any person, whether they consider themselves sub or slave, who tells Me that they have no hard limits, tend to worry Me a bit. Not only do they not have much imagination in the matter, they haven't seen enough to have formed their own ideas of where their boundries lie.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 4:58:34 AM

TNstepsout

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It depends on the limit and the reason/rationale behind it. If it's something that has the potential to leave permanent marks, cause long term injury or result in possible arrest/fines/public exposure etc... then I can see that limits are completely reasonable and necessary. As others have mentioned already, anyone who says they have no limits at all is just being silly.

On the other hand, I do take exception to people who want to protect their own personal squicks. A good example is men who absolutely freak at the thought of any contact from men whatsoever. If I think a limit is somewhat ridiculous and borders on a phobia I'm not sure how healthy it is to protect it. If someone has too many of those, well then I begin to wonder what they are doing here in the first place.

In terms of the difference in slave vs. sub. I would expect to see none of the "pet limits" as described above. Rational, reasonable limits-of course.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 5:44:55 AM

thetammyjo

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I think every human being has limits -- emotional, spiritual, physical -- and I don't accept the notion that merely becoming someone's slave means you don't have limits.

What it very likely means is that their limits are very similar if not the same or that they have found ways to work through any differences such as having other partners, keeping certain activities to a fantasy level, etc.

The greatest difference may be that in my household a submissive is someone who comes and goes, serves and plays for a period of time while a slave is always a slave. Therefore, as Lashra said, someone who wants to be a slave needs to take much greater care in making sure their limits (as well as everything else) are a good match to the potential owner.

At the end of the day, yes, I can do what I wish to my slave but I also then have to take responsibility for any damage or harm I will do if I ignore limits which includes emotional trauma, them walking out and ending things, or even the risk of the cops being called. Someone who thinks they can do whatever, whenever simply because they "own" someone is more a fool then I dominant I think.

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