RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-limits"?

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 6:01:04 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

I agree with what the Dommes are saying. I think it's worth pointing out, from a maledom perspective, that a woman telling me she has no limits is as much of a turn-off as a woman pretending to be dumb because she thinks all men are intimidated by women who are smart.

For example, Underworld026, I just made a mental note never to hit on you, because you said slaves don't have (or get?) hard limits. You might not care, or you might think I am being totally harsh, but the fact is that I respect a woman more if she knows everyone has limits.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 21

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 6:06:32 AM

MsStarlett

Posts: 1879
Joined: 12/23/2007
Status: offline

Ditto TNStepsout. Depends on what said "Hard Limit" is.

Don't want to eat fecal matter? Not a problem... wasn't going to ask that anyway. Don't want to eat your own semen... I'm gonna push that one. Don't want to be cut up, tattooed or pierced? Not a problem. Don't want to feel the lash? We have issues.

Had a sub a long time ago who's hard limit was "No sex with a married woman." Naturally, that only made me want him. Worked on that boy for THREE YEARS before I got what I wanted. He was dreadful. I dropped him. Wasn't pretty. Therefore, MY hard limit is now "No sex with the subs". If they can't deal with that... they need to move along.

_____________________________

It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed,
the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning,
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 22

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 8:47:17 AM

pixelslave

Posts: 1444
Joined: 8/19/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

On the other hand, I do take exception to people who want to protect their own personal squicks. A good example is men who absolutely freak at the thought of any contact from men whatsoever. If I think a limit is somewhat ridiculous and borders on a phobia I'm not sure how healthy it is to protect it. If someone has too many of those, well then I begin to wonder what they are doing here in the first place.

In general, I agree with every thing else you said TN, but I have to wonder if you're leaving out the possibility of emotional harm in pushing someone's "personal squicks". Unless you know why those squicks are there, I don't think it's fair to judge them as being frivolous (my words, not yours). I agree though, that if they have too many of them, they may not be emotionally stable enough to be in this lifestyle. Then again, to each their own...

- pixel

_____________________________

Chivalry isn't dead! It's for those who have it in their hearts & are willing to be taught. It's a way of life, a code of honor; this one's armor still needs some polishing!

(in reply to TNstepsout)

Post #: 23

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 10:37:23 AM

Misstoyou

Posts: 1149
Joined: 9/4/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

What is your opinion of hard-limits?

Subs and slaves are entitled to them.

_____________________________

~ Miss Marie

a.k.a. "mean Lady"

(in reply to Untouched1282)

Post #: 24

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 10:48:38 AM

Mercnbeth

Posts: 11766
Status: offline

~ Fast Reply ~

quote:

What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-limits"?

I don't.

However, anyone participating with me better think be sure of MY limits because they, and me, are what will control the dynamic and the scene. It serves a two fold purpose. It insures that anyone I'm with knows me enough to trust me with relinquishing that control. It insures that I'm not serving as a sensation facilitator akin to a variable speed vibrator under the control of the user.

(in reply to Misstoyou)

Post #: 25

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 11:03:26 AM

darchChylde

Posts: 5279
Joined: 9/28/2006
From: Warm Springs, GA but i live in San Francisco.
Status: offline

Like i used to have in my signature.
_________________________________
There are two possible problems with saying you have no hard limits:

1) You won't be taken seriously.

2) You will
_________________________________

Ok, i don't know where i got this or if i thought up the wording on my own. If anyone can remember a source or something, please let me know.

_____________________________

I'm the man your mother warned you about...
if only to keep me to herself.

I'm a male dominant switch whose experienced as a poly sub to a dominant woman
.
Where the fuck do I post?

Proud Owner and Protector of chyldeschylde.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 26

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 1:43:38 PM

azropedntied

Posts: 1829
Joined: 7/25/2005
From: Phx AZ
Status: offline

If you have no hard limits i know many people who can help find those for ya ..
darch i like that !

(in reply to darchChylde)

Post #: 27

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 3:26:06 PM

SweetNika

Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

On the other hand, I do take exception to people who want to protect their own personal squicks. A good example is men who absolutely freak at the thought of any contact from men whatsoever. If I think a limit is somewhat ridiculous and borders on a phobia I'm not sure how healthy it is to protect it. If someone has too many of those, well then I begin to wonder what they are doing here in the first place.

In general, I agree with every thing else you said TN, but I have to wonder if you're leaving out the possibility of emotional harm in pushing someone's "personal squicks". Unless you know why those squicks are there, I don't think it's fair to judge them as being frivolous (my words, not yours). - pixel

I agree that when we push someone's personal squick's as you call them you run the risk of causing emotional damage. I think before you push someones limits you need to find out why they are there and if it is healthy to push them.

Blessed be,
Nika

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 28

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 5:32:40 PM

TNstepsout

Posts: 1558
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pixelslave

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

On the other hand, I do take exception to people who want to protect their own personal squicks. A good example is men who absolutely freak at the thought of any contact from men whatsoever. If I think a limit is somewhat ridiculous and borders on a phobia I'm not sure how healthy it is to protect it. If someone has too many of those, well then I begin to wonder what they are doing here in the first place.

In general, I agree with every thing else you said TN, but I have to wonder if you're leaving out the possibility of emotional harm in pushing someone's "personal squicks". Unless you know why those squicks are there, I don't think it's fair to judge them as being frivolous (my words, not yours). I agree though, that if they have too many of them, they may not be emotionally stable enough to be in this lifestyle. Then again, to each their own...

- pixel

Nope, I didn't say "frivolous" I said "ridiculous" *grins*

But I do agree with you and as SweetNika commented, you have to know someone well before you push limits. The limits I was thinking of were those that are less of an emotional nature, and more of a pre-conceived notion nature. As in the example, a man who is absurdly homophobic really needs to get over it. That's just not a balanced healthy way to be. Now if he was that way due to trauma of some kind, that would be a different matter. I would certainly tread carefully (if at all) on those limits, but if it's just because he's been brought up that way, or has these notions that it would make him a "fag" etc... well we'd need to talk.

(in reply to pixelslave)

Post #: 29

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 5:41:46 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

What is your opinion of hard-limits? Please specify if you are referring to subs or slaves, and if you see a difference between the two.

It reflects self knowledge and common sense --- two bedrocks you want your partner to possess.

(in reply to Untouched1282)

Post #: 30

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 7:10:01 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

What is your opinion of hard-limits? Please specify if you are referring to subs or slaves, and if you see a difference between the two.

What Ms. Mia said.

"I believe that submissves and slaves have things called "hard limits".

As odd as this may seem, there are many men that will not engage in this
{and other} activities because they are "hard limits".

There is nothing wrong with having " hard limits".
I would not want a person that did not have any "hard limits".
As a Dominant, I have "hard limits". "

I do see slaves as different though. They have so few limits.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to Untouched1282)

Post #: 31

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 7:18:39 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MistressDolly

quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

What is your opinion of hard-limits? Please specify if you are referring to subs or slaves, and if you see a difference between the two.

What Ms. Mia said.

"I believe that submissves and slaves have things called "hard limits".

As odd as this may seem, there are many men that will not engage in this
{and other} activities because they are "hard limits".

There is nothing wrong with having " hard limits".
I would not want a person that did not have any "hard limits".
As a Dominant, I have "hard limits". "

I do see slaves as different though. They have so few limits.

Thanks MistressDolly!
I just rarely see men mention they have "hard limits",
around here.
Which is funny, when we know they do!
If a man tells me, he has NO limits......I am getting away from him!

< Message edited by MzMia -- 6/23/2008 7:19:23 PM >

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 32

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 7:26:56 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

I always think it's silly when people say they don't have limits. We all do it's part of human nature.

When I'm talking to a s-type and he says he has no limits. I push it, I ask about having control over relationships involving family, friends and work it normally is awake up call. I have yet to have anyone (that I believe to be real) to be ok with that. Someone maybe open to a lot of different experinces but you can always find something which they freak out about.

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 33

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 7:29:40 PM

Racquelle

Posts: 600
Joined: 4/21/2008
Status: offline

I like subs who like what we're doing. I am not one of those posturing dominants who likes to drone on about how my property gets no choices. Subs who enjoy themselves come back to serve eagerly next time.

(in reply to SunNMoon)

Post #: 34

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 7:29:58 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Mistress Dolly and SunNMoon?

Tell them to do 25 things that have nothing to do with sex, kink, or BDSM....and
is not "fun", I bet you find some hard limits real damn quick!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to SunNMoon)

Post #: 35

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 7:43:43 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

lol

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 36

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 7:44:43 PM

MistressDolly

Posts: 917
Joined: 8/24/2006
Status: offline

:) The ones with the fewest are most fun.

_____________________________

m i s t r e s s d o l l y . c o m

m y s p a c e

(in reply to MistressDolly)

Post #: 37

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 8:06:29 PM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Mistress Dolly and SunNMoon?

Tell them to do 25 things that have nothing to do with sex, kink, or BDSM....and
is not "fun", I bet you find some hard limits real damn quick!

How'd you get up to 25? I normally just pick one or two and it makes them "safeword".

_____________________________

"We agreed to S&M only, sex and mockery." - Gray’s Anatomy.

(in reply to MzMia)

Post #: 38

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 8:15:33 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
Joined: 3/9/2007
From: Louisville, KY
Status: offline

Usually when someone asks what do you think of all these slaves with limits - they often mean unowned slaves, with whom they have been trying to corrospond, hoping to find them nolimits - uhm - NOW.
I get bashed on the boards fairly regulary for being to 'no limits'.
Yet collarme is also where i did some searching before i met Master. On the other side, i regularly heard from Doms who thought i had FAR too many limits to call myself a slave.
See, here's the thing - i always knew that i was searching for one in whom i could place enough trust to give up all my limits.
But, until i am owned, i have a shit pot full of limits. don't like them? that's okay with me, no hard feelings, move along.
that's the way limits, or the lack of them, work. they get dripped as you build trust. With someone i'm negotating with, and still unowned, sex was against my hard limits. really. and - pretty much everything else in the world.
i was regularly and often assured a woman with my attitude would never find someone willing to claim her.
<smile> and yet, there He is, in the next room, and it is time for me to go tell Him goodnight, and wait for him to join me, and chain me to the bed. g'night, y'all.

_____________________________

“If you never did you should. These things are fun and fun is good”
~Dr. Seuss quote

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 39

RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 8:16:27 PM

MzMia

Posts: 5333
Joined: 7/30/2004
Status: offline

Clean the bathroom!

Hard limit Ma'am!

safe word! code red!

_____________________________

Namaste'
To Each His/Her Own
"DENIAL ain't just a river in Egypt." Mark Twain

What's your favorite fetish?
"My partner's whisper"--bloomswell

(in reply to SunNMoon)

Post #: 40

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