RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-limits"?

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 8:19:49 PM

MistressDolly

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lol

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/23/2008 8:20:55 PM

MistressDolly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MzMia

Clean the bathroom!

Hard limit Ma'am!

safe word! code red!

That's when you say take it or leave it. You'll get your answer there.
:)

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/24/2008 1:17:55 PM

corysub

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I believe hard limits are an important upfront consideration in any D/s relationship. I also believe that "hard limits" can
also be "targets for growth" as Mistress takes a subbie to areas he possibly never would think capable. My own hard
limits are those that would leave lasting markes, beatings, blood, scat, or any of that sort of real "edgy" play that sometimes
can be very dangerous. I also have another that I did not have early on, in that I cannot take "nipple clamps" at all. A Mistress
who I loved very much but do not see now due to moving to another area had used clamps numerous times that were
just too tight. While I enjoyed them at the time, I now wear two lasting "moles" on both nipples. The good part about them
is that everytime I touch them I think ofthe wonderful days together with her.
I also believe that any subbie withhout any limits or discussion of limits is in some sort of fantasy and not real life. I think I
would also be concerned about turning over total control to a Mistress who did not touch on limits in an early conversation.

corysub

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/24/2008 1:42:28 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aimtoplease101

That the person in question is at least somewhat rational and realistic.

Holy Toledo where did this guy come from?? That photo is almost enough to turn me back from the whole, women only, thought process!

(girls, yes girls, with lovely sweet smelling soft curves............only girls LeeAnn, only girls......)

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/25/2008 1:39:05 PM

Wickad

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(fast reply)

Greetings,

It is my opinion that EVERYONE has "hard limits". I define "hard limits" as things the individual cannot (not will not) do. Some of these are things like animals, kids, casteration, etc.

Submissives have many limits and many layers of limits. By this, I mean that a submissive may have hard limits, soft limits, dislikes, likes, loves, etc. A hard limit should never be pushed and a submissive should recognize that by placing something in that list it will, effectively, never happen to them. This can be very comforting but ... it can also be very limiting. If a submissive is opposed to anal play because of being molested (just an example) and places this activity in his 'hard limit list' then his Dominant will NEVER try to work through that with him. If later in life, he wants to explore this activity, or if he goes to therapy and moves beyond the trauma that incited this activity being a hard limit, he will have to accept that this activity falls outside the scope of the relationship. It would have been better if he had filed "anal play" under soft limits and allowed for the possibility of his Dominant exploring it as he grew within the relationship.

A slave, only has hard limits. Within the negotiated boundries of those hard limits exists the walls of his slavery. This ensures that the slave is able to do his number one job which is to protect his Mistress's property - himself. He will also be able to fully let go and become more and more the slave he is in knowing that his boundries will be respected. If the Dominant in question does not agree with the prospective slave's hard limits (thinks there are to many, thinks they are unreasonable, etc) then it is her job to negotiate away these issues before she collars him. I do not believe it is appropriate for her to accept a slave's hard limits with the intent of not respecting them.

These are the way I see things and others may have a very different approach to limits. As well, though I try to live up to these standards ... sometimes I fall short. I guess that is the problem of having a very rigid way of looking at life - lol.

Wickad

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/25/2008 7:48:51 PM

DelilahDeb

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It's simple: if you're alive and you have "no hard limits", you can end up dead. Then you won't get to play any more.
If you're dead already and you're still walking around, Scully & Mulder would like to talk to you.

Delilah Deb

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/25/2008 8:16:14 PM

joyinslavery

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They are all human scum and should be treated as such.

Losers.

Have fun.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/26/2008 6:19:55 AM

underling3

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Oh, you have no limits? Let's see. Where did I put my blowtorch?

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/26/2008 12:12:07 PM

tsatske

Posts: 2037
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From: Louisville, KY
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I'm alive with no hard limits, and liable to stay that way.
There are things that there is no hard limit against, but they don't happen anyway. I have no hard limit against walking down the street being crushed by a falling piano or a metour. yet i don't spend any time or energy worrying abou it. though it could happen, it is just not worth worrying about.
Master will not damage His property, and i don't need to worry about it. He is capable of making rational decisions for the use of His property, i don't need to worry about it. It really is that simple.
and, underling, it is not with You that i have no hard limits. Of course, you are free to ask Master where he wants you to aim your blowtorch - maybe he will go for it, who knows. (the girl always has had serious burning at the stake fantasies. Last week her theripsist suggested she was purhaps burned at the stake in a former incarnation? who knows...)

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/26/2008 12:15:31 PM

softness

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I have no hard limits with my Owner ... I am like a limits convention with anyone else.
I have no limits with Him ... but He has plenty with me

Part of how I define **myself** as a slave ... is that I express no limts, merely requests.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/26/2008 1:27:09 PM

slavekal

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I think most of us have at least a few hard limits. Some of mine are lower case h and some capital H. The hard limits are those that I really don't want to do, that I am afraid of, and that I may never do, like being branded. The Hard limits are the ones I am not doing for anyone, like having sex with another guy.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/26/2008 4:25:01 PM

leadership527

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Untouched1282

What is your opinion of hard-limits? Please specify if you are referring to subs or slaves, and if you see a difference between the two.

My opinions and mine only, not intended to start the 2 billionth sub vs. slave flame war...

SUB: Has limits. Negotiates them up front with Dom. Renegotiates as required.
SLAVE: Has limits... entrusts them to her Master

Everyone has limits. The only question is who's watching out for them?

And here's an update on at least one "trap" when it comes to assessing "perfectly reasonable"

Let's suppose the command is, "Get home as quickly after work as you can and cook me dinner." OK, the sub gets home an hour later than normal with bags of groceries. You inquire and her "perfectly reasonable' reason is that she had to stop at the grocery store on the way home from work. That ought to be a red flag. What's happened here is that she has reprioritized on you. Where did this priority about going to the grocery store come from? Who made it a higher priority than your command? Was it really true that there was NOTHING in the house that could be made into an acceptable dinner? In this case, the "perfectly reasonable" reason relies on a hidden reprioritization done by the sub. Not good.

However, for the same command, your sub comes home an hour later than normal with a hagard look on her face. There was an accident right in front of her. She stopped and helped some of the people until the emergency crews showed up. There was much bleeding and crying and, in general, chaos. The police wanted to ask her questions. It was hot out. That IS a perfectly reasonable explanation and her judgement to "not flee the scene of the accident at the expense of obeying your command" was a wise one as was her judgement to "cooperate with the police". In this scenario, I'd be reworking my plans to include ME cooking something or possibly taking my slavegirl out to dinner or whatever else might be considered "down time" and "comforting" by her. She's had plenty enough excitement for today and I can wait till tomorrow for my cooked dinner.

< Message edited by leadership527 -- 6/26/2008 4:56:53 PM >

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/26/2008 6:16:20 PM

leadership527

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^^^^^^ ignore previous post ^^^^^^^^

or at least the bottom half of it which was a misplaced update to a different thread.

Obviously not one of my most flawless moments *laughs*

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/26/2008 8:40:15 PM

SurrenderForMe

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I only want to hear about hard limits, if it is somehow damaging to the sub or slave. If so, I need to know that. Any other reason just annoys me.

I have yet to meet a sub or slave that I was involved with that didn't have hard limits. If the list is long, the relationship is short and boring.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/27/2008 12:08:04 AM

snowslave

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I agree with the above as well. In a broader sense, as responsible human beings first, we all have hard limits. There are certain things we just won't do. It's easier to trust someone when you know what they stand for and what they will and won't do.

As they relate to this lifestyle, I have noted that - although they may not list them as hard limits - some Dommes specify in their profiles that there are cetain types of activities that they are not interested in, i.e. age play.

I have hard limits listed on my profile. The subs/slaves that list hard limits in their profiles give their potential Mistresses/Masters a glimpse into their hearts and a better chance to deterine if they would be a good fit for them. I think that as a rule of thumb, subs/slaves with hard limits are probably better grounded and have more focussed and realistic goals within this lifestyle.

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RE: What do you think of subs/slaves with "hard-li... - 6/27/2008 6:43:05 AM

MsValentine

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Okay, hard limits...that's a big subject.

I would say I have different views about hard limits depending upon who it is I am thinking of.

Someone I just met who said they would 'do anything Mistress wished' are just unbalanced or liars or possibly both. I have met way too many of those types and it don't impress me much.

Subs with whom I am playing designated scenes for short periods on a relatively casual basis, I say bring out those hard limits and lay them on the table for us all to see. No problem at all. fair is fair after all. There is only a certain degree of commitment on both sides and so his hard limits should be part of that deal.

Slaves, well, I am not an expert on slaves as I don't do 'ownership' so I can only assume that most slaves have the hard limits their owners set.

Now, with my 24/7 sub, he knew when we started living together, he had to come on board knowing he left his hard limits behind. He had to trust me to be myself, the woman he had got to know for five years and loved dearly and he had to trust me to be true to myself. He has no hard limits other than mine. I couldn't live in 24/7 heaven with a sub and have it any other way. That doesn't mean he can't tell me how he feels or show the pain when it hurts but knows I will decide what is best and right for him. We live happily that way.

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