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RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 2:56:06 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe
funny on a kink forum not one person here that can't offer some sound advise and just say good luck with an experince most here are too prude-ish to do themselves
(said in regards to all neagtive gangbangs comments and not directed at blushes)



so those of us who are
  • not prudish
  • have done it ourselves
  • did wish her luck
  • and have useful specific comments to make about the experience

should keep quiet also ... because on this fetish forum .. only positive experiences are allowed.
Yesterday I was at a suspension demo, and the Rigger leading it made a point of telling us several stories about how he has messed up badly over the years (his slave/wife/demobunny just sat there laughing and nodding). We were all struck by the humble nature of such a well known person being so open about the mistakes he has made (both genuine and ones he simply shouldn;t have made). By admitting to and being open with stuff that can go wrong in *any* scene -we all make it easier for the next person to try it to avoid some mistakes and pitfalls.

rather than fear mongering ... some of us like to advice/voice of experience monger ... I would far rather I had opinions there that I could choose to ignore, that be given uniform applause and well wishes when everyone was thinking "I wouldn't touch that with a barge pole"

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to backseatbebe)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 2:59:40 PM   
Scoollink


Posts: 11
Joined: 4/16/2007
Status: offline 		softness you are purring.

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 3:02:00 PM   
backseatbebe


Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		where did i say anyone had to keep quiet?
all i was pointing out that there was no balance in good vs bad as they were all bad experinces expressed on here.
and everyone was telling her 'it will ruin her realtionship with her dom' and there was no sound advice just 'dont did it youll regret it later' and her dom "dangerous and mindless" without even knowing him or her

< Message edited by backseatbebe -- 6/23/2008 3:05:43 PM >

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 3:11:57 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe

and everyone was telling her 'it will ruin her realtionship with her dom' and there was no sound advice just 'dont did it youll regret it later' and her dom "dangerous and mindless" without even knowing him or her


with respect ... and to not to let this thread get re-railed ... calmy go back and read the other thread, objectively and not looking for things to get defensive about

you will see this is not actually the case

we dont guarantee balance on this forum, we dont guarantee anything .. she asked .. she got .. we all have to deal with the potential backlash of bringin somthing personal to the boardsand not hearing what we wanted to.


_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to backseatbebe)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 3:18:45 PM   
backseatbebe


Posts: 195
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		and i was just pointing out the answers she got were one sided
never said there had to balance, just pointing out there wasn't any
and making a sub (you dont knwo personally) doubt something they decided to go ahead to do together (as  D/s) isn't offering help, more like stirring trouble 

ps. and i went back to reread the thread and those examples i mentioned above were in that thread, so im not dreaming

< Message edited by backseatbebe -- 6/23/2008 3:23:28 PM >

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 3:26:56 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		OK, now I'm going to hi-jack my thread...

Softness, you are welcome to come to KY any time.

Bsbb, you *do* seem to have some sort of objective here, but I'm not quite sure what it is. You are not being reasonable, you are painting people with broad strokes and in black and white and ignoring the fine strokes and shades of grey. "everyone" did not have negative things to say to that OP, nor did "everyone" attempt to dissuade her. Perhaps we are reading different threads?

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to backseatbebe)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 3:28:55 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

Being given to others isn't necessarily the same as a gang bang either.  Having your slave go to organize someone else's closet isn't the same as having them give you a blow job.


Yeah, you're right. I just tend to couch my questions in 'less objectionable' (to me) terms. (yeah, ok, I'm a prude...)

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 3:31:22 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Now this is just theory from my personal observation, but I think that many guys,  while they like the idea of giving sexual favors to friends, really don't want the woman to enjoy it too much. 


I suspect you may be right.  But, in addition to the possible reason you described, there may be another aspect.  If what someone (I'll just say a dom, for convenience) enjoys is giving another person (let's say his sub) to his friends, then if the sub enjoys it too much, that could invalidate the gift in some sense.  If the sub wants the dom's friend, then the dom's role in the exchange is less relevant. 
As a voyeur, and I enjoy acting as procuress various contexts, and watching the results.  However, as a domme, I take an additional level of satisfaction in arranging pairings in which at least one participant is only involved because of my direction.  If I were less of a voyeur, realizing that the people I was watching want each other regardless might dim my enthusiasm.


So, for the dom to enjoy it, we should pull a Scarlett? "No, Rhett...don't kiss me like that...STOP! Stop...stop...don't! Don't! Don't stop...don't stop..."

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to TwoNYCDommes)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 3:33:44 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: backseatbebe
seems the world revolves around you,


Well...duh...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to backseatbebe)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 3:36:49 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: somethndif

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

There is a discussion in another forum regarding gang bangs. Personally, it sounds pretty hot, but from the people I've talked to who have actually done it, I hear over and over again how it 'broke something' either inside of them, their partner, their relationship, or a combination.

I'm interested in hearing from both sides; where it turned out great, and you can't wait to do it again, and why, and also from those who found it didn't turn out well for them, and why. Would you do it again? Why or why not?

Post anonymously if you want to, I don't care. I just didn't want to derail another person's thread any more than I already did, so I thought I'd bring it here.

In my mind, at least cautioning someone of possible fall-out from such a situation was a responsible thing to do. To another person's thinking, I was being a prude for not just saying 'you go girl' and giving her specific advice on how to deal with it...erm...Idk? Don't look down? Slippery when wet?

What do you think the statistics are for something like this? My gut tells me that except for some very special and open people, this could go very bad very quickly; but I could be dead wrong.


I have given my submissives to other men, and women for sexual use, including my current one.  It is hot, but that is just an added bonus.  What really floats my boat is that it is a powerful symbol of her submission to me, and my control of her.  I tell her who to fuck and suck, and I control what she does and with whom.  I have not arranged a gangbang, but I have had a submissive suck and fuck two other men on two occasions.

I have shared three different submissives with others.  But it is not something that I do often.  It has not been an problem for me, or for my submissives who have been shared.  They have all told me they enjoyed the experience.  But I have also gone to swingers clubs with submissives, although not lately, so my experience may be quite different than other men, who haven't experienced watching their  wife/submissive/lover/whatever have sex with someone else and enjoy it.

The first time I shared my partner with another man, I did have some jealousy/possesiveness issues, but worked through them.  That was long ago.  It is just sex, after all.

I do think that many men who have the fantasy would have trouble with the reality and it might damage or destroy the relationship.  But there is only one way to find out!!

Dan 


Interesting Dan. How did you work through it?

What worries me just a bit (for people who aren't sure whether they should or not) is that yes, there is only one way to find out...but...what if it is devastating? I'm not sure it's worth it. I'm not sure it's not. I'm just....not sure...

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to somethndif)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 3:41:09 PM   
softness


Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

Softness, you are welcome to come to KY any time.



starts packing .,.. and leaves a note telling DV where the starch is

_____________________________

proudly wearing the blue collar of consideration to DK Leather, Leatherdykeuk, and LeatherEagle of the UK KRueL Leather Family

veritas, respectus honorque in corio





(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 4:38:14 PM   
somethndif


Posts: 136
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

quote:

ORIGINAL: somethndif

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

There is a discussion in another forum regarding gang bangs. Personally, it sounds pretty hot, but from the people I've talked to who have actually done it, I hear over and over again how it 'broke something' either inside of them, their partner, their relationship, or a combination.

I'm interested in hearing from both sides; where it turned out great, and you can't wait to do it again, and why, and also from those who found it didn't turn out well for them, and why. Would you do it again? Why or why not?

Post anonymously if you want to, I don't care. I just didn't want to derail another person's thread any more than I already did, so I thought I'd bring it here.

In my mind, at least cautioning someone of possible fall-out from such a situation was a responsible thing to do. To another person's thinking, I was being a prude for not just saying 'you go girl' and giving her specific advice on how to deal with it...erm...Idk? Don't look down? Slippery when wet?

What do you think the statistics are for something like this? My gut tells me that except for some very special and open people, this could go very bad very quickly; but I could be dead wrong.


I have given my submissives to other men, and women for sexual use, including my current one.  It is hot, but that is just an added bonus.  What really floats my boat is that it is a powerful symbol of her submission to me, and my control of her.  I tell her who to fuck and suck, and I control what she does and with whom.  I have not arranged a gangbang, but I have had a submissive suck and fuck two other men on two occasions.

I have shared three different submissives with others.  But it is not something that I do often.  It has not been an problem for me, or for my submissives who have been shared.  They have all told me they enjoyed the experience.  But I have also gone to swingers clubs with submissives, although not lately, so my experience may be quite different than other men, who haven't experienced watching their  wife/submissive/lover/whatever have sex with someone else and enjoy it.

The first time I shared my partner with another man, I did have some jealousy/possesiveness issues, but worked through them.  That was long ago.  It is just sex, after all.

I do think that many men who have the fantasy would have trouble with the reality and it might damage or destroy the relationship.  But there is only one way to find out!!

Dan 


Interesting Dan. How did you work through it?

What worries me just a bit (for people who aren't sure whether they should or not) is that yes, there is only one way to find out...but...what if it is devastating? I'm not sure it's worth it. I'm not sure it's not. I'm just....not sure...


By talking to her, and by thinking about and realizing that it is just sex.  She had other men before me, and I had other women before her.  Her having sex with someone else, at my command, for my pleasure -- and hers -- does not change our relationship.  And it won't change our relationship, unless I let my reaction to it change it.  So, I don't let it.  Its just sex, and she did it for me, at my command. 

It really wasn't that difficult to get through it, and over it.  And, its much easier the second time, and every time after that.  There may be twinges of jealousy, if she is really enjoying herself, but then I remember that when I am with someone new, I too am often more excited than I am with her when we have sex.  After a while, sex with the same person, becomes somewhat predictable and routine.  Its still very good and sometimes great, but I know her.  Not so with someone new.  And because of that being with someone new is exciting and sometimes very exciting.

Frankly, I don't "get" why it should be devastating for anyone, although I understand that some people feel that way.  Its just sex, and really no different from any one night stand.

I do think you need to talk about it before doing it, and make sure that you and your partner are OK with it, and realize there may be some feelings of jealousy that arise, that you may have to work through. 

I have also found that giving my partner to another provides more benefits than just the act itself.  There is the anticipation and excitement in the days leading up to it, then the act itself, then remembering the hot scene for days and weeks after.  *grin*

Dan

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 5:15:46 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

I'm interested in hearing from both sides; where it turned out great, and you can't wait to do it again, and why, and also from those who found it didn't turn out well for them, and why. Would you do it again? Why or why not?


Anal sex with the right person at the wrong time hurts and anal sex with the wrong person at the right time might work.

Sharing and such is kind of the same. 

I have shared my women with friends and it was hot for all involved.  I have taken women to be used at sex parties and it sucked because of external drama although without it it I am sure it would have worked.  I have done threesomes that were great and others that were boring

Making sure that your partner feels taken care of and the third person doesn't feel left out isn't always easy.
Watching your woman be with someone else is going to push every button you got, both good and bad
If you have any sort of hidden madona/whore issues, hold on for a wild ride
If your communication issues are subpar, you will soon find out how subpar

Lots of people do all this and have a grand time, for others it would be a nightmare, some of that is hard wired, some of that is due to how supported they feel by their partner. 

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 5:32:49 PM   
xxblushesxx


Posts: 9318
Joined: 11/3/2005
From: Kentucky
Status: offline 		Great analogy SM!

Interesting insight from both you and from Dan!

Thank you both.

_____________________________

~Christina

A nice girl with a disturbing hobby

My femdom findom blog: http://www.MistressAvarice.com


(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 5:44:23 PM   
Prinsexx


Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

There is a discussion in another forum regarding gang bangs.



Define what you mean by gang bang for me hon please? It;s not that I don't have my own definition and I certainly have experiences which are some of the hottest and some experiences which have just been quite plainly deadly in the risk-taking department but it helps to know if we are talking about the same thing.......


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(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 6:06:24 PM   
SweetCnt4Lvn


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/10/2008
Status: offline 		The fellow that I am currently favoring with my obedience always finds a moment to fit in his desire for me to agree to be his "three hole whore" to "fuck when he wants, how he wants and to get fucked by whom he wants". He makes a point of bringing this up when I am in the throes of ecstacy and could not fathom disagreeing with his question for me to agree that I will be and do as he says as I don't want to risk his denying me an orgasm. The first occasssion I met him he had me eating another subs pussy and sucking his friends cock. I submitted willingly, comfortably, enjoyably right from the start. He pegged me as a slut and treated me like one. He had me body roped, collared and cuffed, his friends meat stuffed down my throat while he pulled back on my cuffs and fucked my cunt with a dildo while his other sub watched in envy. He took turns with his friend fucking both her ass and mine, a good spanking between to ensure we knew our place. It was my first foursome, pussy licking, ass fucking from a stranger and I loved it!

He has since threatened/promised that next time he calls me to come to service him that I will be required to do it for his guest as well. He implores that I should not embarrass him and it would be best if I behaved as I am told. I like this Dom as he is always a gentleman when we aren't getting it on and my instincts tell me I can trust him. We've shared some personal history and are beggining to share our fantasies with eachother. My problem is that I really do like this guy and would be interested in knowing him in ways other than sexual. I get the feeling he reciprocates my interest but the fact that our experiences together impress how open we both seem to be to sharing eachother with other people might be a complication in developing an emotional bond.

My thoughts now run like this...is it possible for him to committ himself to someone heart, mind and soul whilst he partakes in so many other women? Secondly, could he really respect and love me while he whores me out to his friends? Could it be a test of my worthiness of his heart whether I truly agree to go through with what he says...perhaps he just gets off on the talk but would prefer I reject the idea in real life. I used to think that a sign of possessiveness was a sign of one's affections for the other but wonder if it can still exist without.  I havn't quite decided whether I want to / have the capacity to pursue something real so I don't want to blow such a rewarding sexual relationship by not giving in to being his sex toy for share but fear doing so might jeapordize my chances with his heart.

What to do...

(in reply to SimplyMichael)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 6:13:58 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		Hi blushes,

It wasn't a gang bang, but it was a complete stranger to me that my Master included in an afternoon together.  I was to give a sexy dance, naked, and then give him a facial titty massage, and then present the breasts for him to play with.  He was not allowed to fuck me, but did pick from an array of dildos to use on me, and of course he picked the largest and used it as hard as possible.

My Master was there, directing and watching.  It was very awkward to me to do a private slutty dance before a complete stranger as he gawked and such, and even more awkward to lie back on the bed and spread myself open for them both to look at and discuss.  It made me feel incredibly small and objectified and I loved it.  And the thing that made it awesome for me was that all throughout, it was my Master I was doing this for, not the stranger. 

The guy was really just another tool for my Master to use on me, although he didnt' mind at all.  Master has said in the future he would consider hiring me out, and says maybe it'll be for a quarter, to humiliate me (hot!).  He's not too keen on another man fucking me, but he said he might allow it once or twice because he thinks I should go through that.

That experience, while rather mild given what others have experienced, actually brought us closer.  He knew it would be difficult for me to do (did I mention the guy was a stranger to us both - I had to introduce myself to him and invite him), and loved that I did it anyway.  And I loved the enjoyment he got out of it.  My focus was on him the whole time, and any heat I experienced was because of the power I felt from my Master.  I think a gang-bang would be hot for that reason - to be so objectified by him, and to go through it for him.

Cool question, blushes.  My future on this subject is yet unknown...

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to xxblushesxx)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 6:15:09 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel
He's just very possessive and protective of me.  Gang bangs have never come up, but me being fucked by another guy has and He made it clear that it wouldn't be happening.

Same here.  A lot of dominants/masters show their control by having their sub/slave lent out to be used by other men.  Mine shows His control by refusing to allow it....ever...

One of His favorite teases is to be buried deep inside me and remind me how that's the only cock I'm ever going to feel again.  It's hot but truthful too..........luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 6:19:21 PM   
slaveluci


Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: softness

with respect ... and to not to let this thread get re-railed ... calmy go back and read the other thread, objectively and not looking for things to get defensive about

you will see this is not actually the case

we dont guarantee balance on this forum, we dont guarantee anything .. she asked .. she got .. we all have to deal with the potential backlash of bringin somthing personal to the boardsand not hearing what we wanted to.


You're responding rationally to someone who completely derailed a thread I recently started about "cheating."  She posted again and again and refused to reason or accept that there could be a different, valid viewpoint.  Not exactly someone who impressed me with balance and understanding, softness.............luci

_____________________________

To choose a good book, look in an inquisitor’s prohibited list. ~John Aikin

(in reply to softness)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others - 6/23/2008 6:29:00 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: slaveluci

quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel
He's just very possessive and protective of me.  Gang bangs have never come up, but me being fucked by another guy has and He made it clear that it wouldn't be happening.


Same here.  A lot of dominants/masters show their control by having their sub/slave lent out to be used by other men.  Mine shows His control by refusing to allow it....ever...

One of His favorite teases is to be buried deep inside me and remind me how that's the only cock I'm ever going to feel again.  It's hot but truthful too..........luci


Oh yes luci! 

Being taken roughly from behind, head thrown back because He's got a handful of my hair...... Him telling me that this is His cunt and His cock will be the only one to fuck it again.  *'scuse me while I puddle and swoon*

(in reply to slaveluci)
Profile   Post #: 40
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