Giving your slave to, or being given to others (Full Version)

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xxblushesxx -> Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 1:30:18 PM)

There is a discussion in another forum regarding gang bangs. Personally, it sounds pretty hot, but from the people I've talked to who have actually done it, I hear over and over again how it 'broke something' either inside of them, their partner, their relationship, or a combination.

I'm interested in hearing from both sides; where it turned out great, and you can't wait to do it again, and why, and also from those who found it didn't turn out well for them, and why. Would you do it again? Why or why not?

Post anonymously if you want to, I don't care. I just didn't want to derail another person's thread any more than I already did, so I thought I'd bring it here.

In my mind, at least cautioning someone of possible fall-out from such a situation was a responsible thing to do. To another person's thinking, I was being a prude for not just saying 'you go girl' and giving her specific advice on how to deal with it...erm...Idk? Don't look down? Slippery when wet?

What do you think the statistics are for something like this? My gut tells me that except for some very special and open people, this could go very bad very quickly; but I could be dead wrong.




softness -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 1:45:01 PM)

I posted my experience on the other thread hun - but I would hasten to add that particular experience was from my relationship with a total fucktard who in the end turned himself into a non-consensual abusive cunt of an dom. (

I am sure that within the context of a healthy, respectful, caring and responsible dynamic (given that genuine mistakes and unforeseen circumstances can happen) there is no reason why it couldn't be just as hot as your fantasy



xxblushesxx -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 1:51:12 PM)

Oh, we're not doing it...HM would never let me be with another man...(a woman on the other hand is another story).

I was just interested in this, and didn't want to take away from her thread. I've also read both negative and positive experiences regarding this.



Scoollink -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 1:52:22 PM)

I have been in the life 12 yrs. I have been in relationship w/ 2 slaves that period of 10 yrs.
I can not begin to imagine watching Mine being used that way. I would need to feel very very angry to even begin to visulise how that could come about.
As a parting "gift" perhaps to a unfaithfull slave whom I am casting away? Nope. Not  even feeling hurt would do it for Me.



softness -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 1:55:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

(a woman on the other hand is another story).



*coughs to clear throat* ..... you doing anything around mid july?



xxblushesxx -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 1:58:00 PM)

School work. *lol*

*whispers* but I'm afraid of you're dom...



OmegaG -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 1:59:04 PM)

I can't comment on gangbanging as I've never expereinced that, but there was an incident many years ago in what seems to me like a different lifetime.

I was a single working. going to school mom and I started dating a guy, not because there were any romantic feelings there, but just because we were good together, mostly in bed.  He liked dating me because I couldn't care less what he was doing when we weren't together and I wouldn't get my knickers in a bunch when I heard through mutual friends that he was with a woman at the local nightclub.

One night we were hanging out at my house, the imp-chaperone was at her father's and we had several freinds over, one by one they left and it was down to me, the guy I was dating and his best friend and for whatever reason the topic of blow jobs came up, now R liked to brag about how good I was and his friend was just drunk enough to ask for a sample so R told me to give him one to which at first I refused but finally it came to a point when I was on my knees sucking the friend and R was watching.  At that time I didn't understand the feelings that swept through me, the thrill of doing what went against my societal conditioning, knowing he was watching and wanting to make sure that I didn't hold up to his bragging.

That went over so well that the next time we found ourselves together he instructed me to suck his friend while he fucked me, again the same thrilling feelings coursed through my body.  It was at that point though that our relationship changed, he became meaner, sex was more about getting off then having fun, he became verbally deflamatory to me and started to show signs of distrust.  I became confused as what I had done to cause these reactions in me I had no clue.

We never talked about it, but I suspect that I found more pleasure in the threesomes then he was comfortable with.

Now this is just theory from my personal observation, but I think that many guys,  while they like the idea of giving sexual favors to friends, really don't want the woman to enjoy it too much.  I know that m'Lord feels that men are more genetically geared to be emotionally polymourous then woman-- basically that a woman can give her heart romantically to fewer men then a man can, but I also think that men need their women to be selective in their sexual enjoyment.  Men need to know that the woman's heart is safe and secure in their keeping and since the heart and sex drive of many women often go hand in hand, there is a reasonable fear that if she enjoys sex with someone else too much that she may desire an emotional attachment.  If that makes any kind of sense.



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 1:59:31 PM)

For me it is a fantasy that will remain a fantasy.  First and foremost because He made it clear from the get go that no one touches me except Him.  

And because I know myself and I know what fantasies should remain masturbation fodder and which ones We could visit without damaging me, Him or our relationship. 
This one should most definitely remain fantasy for me.



silkncarol -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:04:00 PM)

Like softness, i believe if it's done within a healthy, respectful, caring dynamic it could be a very hot fantasy come true. But again it depends on the primary relationship...both parties need to be secure, self confident and self-aware with lots of communication before and after the act.
I believe you really do have to be a hedonist or at least tap into that facet of your personality so as not to harm your self esteem...lol..unless that's what turns you on. :-)



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:06:46 PM)

Being given to others isn't necessarily the same as a gang bang either.  Having your slave go to organize someone else's closet isn't the same as having them give you a blow job.



Scoollink -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:12:15 PM)

As Master and slave grow in intimacy slave is absorbed into the being of Master. During and after the  "gangbang" I would think slave's spirit is diminshed.  I would too have the senssation of dissolving. Just the thought of this discussion borthers Me greatly. When slave has taken of the kernel of Master's life and planted into her's the expectation total.



TwoNYCDommes -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:14:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx
Oh, we're not doing it...HM would never let me be with another man...(a woman on the other hand is another story).
I was just interested in this, and didn't want to take away from her thread.


Not to hijack your thread, but I'd be interested in hearing responders note whether the gangbang was within the context of an otherwise monogamous relationship or not.  (It sometimes seems to me that topics involving rather extreme forms of non-monogamy, it can be difficult to tell if issues arose more due to the non-mono aspect or to the more extreme aspects.)



softness -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:18:00 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

School work. *lol*

*whispers* but I'm afraid of you're dom...


oh pffffffft .... He is a gentleman, a pussy cat, in fact He was recently described on the emotional S&M thread as "fluffy" ... He brought me flowers before He brutalised me and everything

and besides ... you would be my yummy fun toy ... not His! ...errrr I mean ... It would be like extra tuition nodsnodsnods (well you said you had school work!)



BRNaughtyAngel -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:30:29 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes

Not to hijack your thread, but I'd be interested in hearing responders note whether the gangbang was within the context of an otherwise monogamous relationship or not.  (It sometimes seems to me that topics involving rather extreme forms of non-monogamy, it can be difficult to tell if issues arose more due to the non-mono aspect or to the more extreme aspects.)


My Master is poly and I am monogamous.  He's just very possessive and protective of me.  Gang bangs have never come up, but me being fucked by another guy has and He made it clear that it wouldn't be happening.



TwoNYCDommes -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:31:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OmegaG
Now this is just theory from my personal observation, but I think that many guys,  while they like the idea of giving sexual favors to friends, really don't want the woman to enjoy it too much. 


I suspect you may be right.  But, in addition to the possible reason you described, there may be another aspect.  If what someone (I'll just say a dom, for convenience) enjoys is giving another person (let's say his sub) to his friends, then if the sub enjoys it too much, that could invalidate the gift in some sense.  If the sub wants the dom's friend, then the dom's role in the exchange is less relevant. 
As a voyeur, and I enjoy acting as procuress various contexts, and watching the results.  However, as a domme, I take an additional level of satisfaction in arranging pairings in which at least one participant is only involved because of my direction.  If I were less of a voyeur, realizing that the people I was watching want each other regardless might dim my enthusiasm.



Scoollink -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:35:39 PM)

Perhaps for the purpose of this discussion We should define "gangbang"  I am thinking that We all have a different expectation of what a "gangbang" is.



Daes -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:37:28 PM)

If I was "given" to another for a temporary time it would be very controlled and it would be with someone Sir trusted indefinately.

I'm actually hoping that one day that we can share this experience though Sir seems a bit weary of it. Either way, I'm leaving it in his hands, I'm happy soley with him - though for me this reinforces the idea that I'm His and I find it very erotic that he can show his dominance and confidence in that kind of display. I trust him, and I trust him to give me to someone that won't damage or abuse me in any way shape or form.



backseatbebe -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:46:46 PM)

quoted from myself:
funny on a kink forum not one person here that can't offer some sound advise and just say good luck with an experince most here are too prude-ish to do themselves
(said in regards to all neagtive gangbangs comments and not directed at blushes)

seems the world revolves around you, cause it doesn't seem the comment was directed at you specifically at all
and yet you don't mention how this "person" also went on to say that like most life situtaions you never know how things will turn out or how its more about the people involved in the gangbang (ie. the sub, the dom/me, the bangers!) than the actual actions these people take during the gangbang

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

In my mind, at least cautioning someone of possible fall-out from such a situation was a responsible thing to do. To another person's thinking, I was being a prude for not just saying 'you go girl' and giving her specific advice on how to deal with it...erm...Idk? Don't look down? Slippery when wet?



somethndif -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:49:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

There is a discussion in another forum regarding gang bangs. Personally, it sounds pretty hot, but from the people I've talked to who have actually done it, I hear over and over again how it 'broke something' either inside of them, their partner, their relationship, or a combination.

I'm interested in hearing from both sides; where it turned out great, and you can't wait to do it again, and why, and also from those who found it didn't turn out well for them, and why. Would you do it again? Why or why not?

Post anonymously if you want to, I don't care. I just didn't want to derail another person's thread any more than I already did, so I thought I'd bring it here.

In my mind, at least cautioning someone of possible fall-out from such a situation was a responsible thing to do. To another person's thinking, I was being a prude for not just saying 'you go girl' and giving her specific advice on how to deal with it...erm...Idk? Don't look down? Slippery when wet?

What do you think the statistics are for something like this? My gut tells me that except for some very special and open people, this could go very bad very quickly; but I could be dead wrong.


I have given my submissives to other men, and women for sexual use, including my current one.  It is hot, but that is just an added bonus.  What really floats my boat is that it is a powerful symbol of her submission to me, and my control of her.  I tell her who to fuck and suck, and I control what she does and with whom.  I have not arranged a gangbang, but I have had a submissive suck and fuck two other men on two occasions.

I have shared three different submissives with others.  But it is not something that I do often.  It has not been an problem for me, or for my submissives who have been shared.  They have all told me they enjoyed the experience.  But I have also gone to swingers clubs with submissives, although not lately, so my experience may be quite different than other men, who haven't experienced watching their  wife/submissive/lover/whatever have sex with someone else and enjoy it.

The first time I shared my partner with another man, I did have some jealousy/possesiveness issues, but worked through them.  That was long ago.  It is just sex, after all.

I do think that many men who have the fantasy would have trouble with the reality and it might damage or destroy the relationship.  But there is only one way to find out!!

Dan 



Scoollink -> RE: Giving your slave to, or being given to others (6/23/2008 2:54:27 PM)

I could not do that Dan. Tell Me what is the feeling? You feel powerfull? Controling? Thanks for adding to the discussion!



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