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ORIGINAL: Prinsexx

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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

There is a discussion in another forum regarding gang bangs.

Define what you mean by gang bang for me hon please? It;s not that I don't have my own definition and I certainly have experiences which are some of the hottest and some experiences which have just been quite plainly deadly in the risk-taking department but it helps to know if we are talking about the same thing.......

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

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ORIGINAL: softness

with respect ... and to not to let this thread get re-railed ... calmy go back and read the other thread, objectively and not looking for things to get defensive about

you will see this is not actually the case

we dont guarantee balance on this forum, we dont guarantee anything .. she asked .. she got .. we all have to deal with the potential backlash of bringin somthing personal to the boardsand not hearing what we wanted to.

You're responding rationally to someone who completely derailed a thread I recently started about "cheating."  She posted again and again and refused to reason or accept that there could be a different, valid viewpoint.  Not exactly someone who impressed me with balance and understanding, softness.............luci

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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

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ORIGINAL: slaveluci

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ORIGINAL: softness

with respect ... and to not to let this thread get re-railed ... calmy go back and read the other thread, objectively and not looking for things to get defensive about

you will see this is not actually the case

we dont guarantee balance on this forum, we dont guarantee anything .. she asked .. she got .. we all have to deal with the potential backlash of bringin somthing personal to the boardsand not hearing what we wanted to.

You're responding rationally to someone who completely derailed a thread I recently started about "cheating."  She posted again and again and refused to reason or accept that there could be a different, valid viewpoint.  Not exactly someone who impressed me with balance and understanding, softness.............luci

After someone mentioned that, I had to check out her forum posts. There was page after page after page on your topic. Sorry you went through that. I personally don't care what she says to me or about my topic, but it's kind of funny to watch.

I have to say that I am impressed with the depth and the thought that has been given to this by so many who have responded, owned, and sweet, tyvm!

Prinsexx, it doesn't necessarily have to be a gang-bang, just your dom(me) sharing you with others, either with your express consent, or just the assumed consent we bring to these relationships.

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ORIGINAL: StrangerThan

I'll agree wholeheartedly with something Michael said, that in a large part, much of it has to do with how supported by their partner they feel. I've shared my submissives before and will again. What I refuse to allow to happen is either one of us emerging from it feeling less or somehow broken. That means sharing isn't a free-for-all, isn't something that happens all the time, isn't something taken for granted, and definitely does not devolve into simple use nor simple swapping. I don't allow others to engage in Dom/sub games with my submissive. The control I have with her is evident at all points. Any who do not respect that, don't play. It is quite simple.

I've never had jealousy/possessiveness issues with it. If you take the time to establish your relationship and that sharing has meaning within it, it becomes more of a building block than something that tears it down. I'm not advocating it by any means. I'm simply saying that within MY relationship, that's how it functions. What works for me isn't a rule book for anyone else. Taking time means understanding your partner, understanding the sexuality and sensuality of it, understanding what it does to her mentally, emotionally and physically, understanding the control that's in place when your girl is being fucked and you make her look at you and tell her when to cum.. and she does, regardless of how close she is at that moment in terms of the actual sex or not. That should paint the sharing with in a narrow window. I don't and never have shared just because. I want meaning in it and that meaning will be something that furthers our relationship. In that sense, it becomes a way of using the third to establish something I want established. Fortunately, those who have participated usually don't consider that type of use in a negative light, smile.

Bottom line as her Dominant, it is my place to keep her safe, to maintain control, and to see that the trust she has put in me is not misplaced. In that light, sharing is not so much about pleasing another but pleasing me, and I see to it that she does please me. It is a conundrum in some ways as it is totally not about the third involved, and yet... the third serves a purpose that could not be served without him. I don't know if any of this is making sense as it is the short and sanitized version. That type of play will only occur among people who are trusted, known, respectful of what is offered and given, and understand their role in it.

I realize the thrust of the post revolved around a different type of sharing. I would never simply "give" her. The use of her, in any form, is mine to decide and mine to ensure she understands well before it happens, the intent and meaning. That means I don't see her in objective terms, but quite subjective. Like most things though, what works for people, works for them, and what doesn't, doesn't. If you have any issues with it at all, and this thought needs to come without thinking of the sheer sexual aspect of it, then those issues are something you WILL deal with one way or another. Some of my early years were spent among the swinging folks and I saw a lot of relationships hit rock bottom before dissovling completely - for many reasons. Perhaps the biggest culprit though seemed to be that "hey, this will be hot" mindset, especially among those new to it.

Yes, it may be hot. It may be disasterous too. Either way, you're left looking at each other in the morning. If you have any doubt whatsoever that looking across the table will be a face you're no longer familiar with, it's not something you should even consider. Just my 2 cents.

The simple philosophy is that it's not what is done, but how. I realize the thrust of the post revolved around gang bangs, but the discussion had diverged into simpler versions of sharing. I suppose this is mine.

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ORIGINAL: StrangerThan

I'll agree wholeheartedly with something Michael said, that in a large part, much of it has to do with how supported by their partner they feel. I've shared my submissives before and will again. What I refuse to allow to happen is either one of us emerging from it feeling less or somehow broken. That means sharing isn't a free-for-all, isn't something that happens all the time, isn't something taken for granted, and definitely does not devolve into simple use nor simple swapping. I don't allow others to engage in Dom/sub games with my submissive. The control I have with her is evident at all points. Any who do not respect that, don't play. It is quite simple.

...

The simple philosophy is that it's not what is done, but how. I realize the thrust of the post revolved around gang bangs, but the discussion had diverged into simpler versions of sharing. I suppose this is mine.

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Sir and i have been discussing the possibility of hiring me out for a few months now. We have covered every angle of safety repeatedly. Major concerns are obviously opening me up to abuse, sexual health, being able to trust the other person / people in the equation etc etc.
It has been decided by us both that i will only be hired out to people we know or friends of people we know that come with for want of a better description, a good reference. Still not foolproof i hear some of you say!! Well yes that may be so, but since when was anything not without risk?
Am i doing this for myself or just for Sir? For both of us is the answer.
What will my service entail? Domestic, sexual, play, whatever is required really.
Will money exchange hands and to whom? Yes is the simple answer. The money will go to Sir. My first experience of being hired out will be with one of Sirs very good friends and he has agreed a sum with Sir. I do not know what this sum is and i dont want to.
Judgement of my actions from others. Everyone is entitled to their opinion of what i am going to do. I knew there would be those who strongly disagree with what i am going to do and would strongly state it. This does not bother me in any shape or form and can lead to interesting discussion.
What i will say is that just because it is not your kink to be hired out or hire out does not make it wrong in any shape or form.
So in short this is no spur of the moment ill planned action we are about to take. We have covered safety, we are both consenting and we are harming noone in the process. 

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I hear over and over again how it 'broke something' either inside of them, their partner, their relationship, or a combination.

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There is a discussion in another forum regarding gang bangs. Personally, it sounds pretty hot, but from the people I've talked to who have actually done it, I hear over and over again how it 'broke something' either inside of them, their partner, their relationship, or a combination.

I'm interested in hearing from both sides; where it turned out great, and you can't wait to do it again, and why, and also from those who found it didn't turn out well for them, and why. Would you do it again? Why or why not?

Post anonymously if you want to, I don't care. I just didn't want to derail another person's thread any more than I already did, so I thought I'd bring it here.

In my m

ind, at least cautioning someone of possible fall-out from such a situation was a responsible thing to do. To another person's thinking, I was being a prude for not just saying 'you go girl' and giving her specific advice on how to deal with it...erm...Idk? Don't look down? Slippery when wet?

What do you think the statistics are for something like this? My gut tells me that except for some very special and open people, this could go very bad very quickly; but I could be dead wrong.

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ORIGINAL: xxblushesxx

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ORIGINAL: TwoNYCDommes
I suspect you may be right.  But, in addition to the possible reason you described, there may be another aspect.  If what someone (I'll just say a dom, for convenience) enjoys is giving another person (let's say his sub) to his friends, then if the sub enjoys it too much, that could invalidate the gift in some sense.  If the sub wants the dom's friend, then the dom's role in the exchange is less relevant. 
As a voyeur, and I enjoy acting as procuress various contexts, and watching the results.  However, as a domme, I take an additional level of satisfaction in arranging pairings in which at least one participant is only involved because of my direction.  If I were less of a voyeur, realizing that the people I was watching want each other regardless might dim my enthusiasm.

So, for the dom to enjoy it, we should pull a Scarlett? "No, Rhett...don't kiss me like that...STOP! Stop...stop...don't! Don't! Don't stop...don't stop..."

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ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie
The guy was really just another tool for my Master to use on me, although he didnt' mind at all. 

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ORIGINAL: SweetCnt4Lvn
The fellow that I am currently favoring with my obedience always finds a moment to fit in his desire for me to agree to be his "three hole whore" to "fuck when he wants, how he wants and to get fucked by whom he wants".
...
My problem is that I really do like this guy and would be interested in knowing him in ways other than sexual. I get the feeling he reciprocates my interest but the fact that our experiences together impress how open we both seem to be to sharing eachother with other people might be a complication in developing an emotional bond.
My thoughts now run like this...is it possible for him to committ himself to someone heart, mind and soul whilst he partakes in so many other women?

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ORIGINAL: SweetCnt4Lvn
Secondly, could he really respect and love me while he whores me out to his friends? 

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ORIGINAL: SweetCnt4Lvn
Could it be a test of my worthiness of his heart whether I truly agree to go through with what he says...

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ORIGINAL: SweetCnt4Lvnperhaps he just gets off on the talk but would prefer I reject the idea in real life. 

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ORIGINAL: SweetCnt4Lvn

I used to think that a sign of possessiveness was a sign of one's affections for the other but wonder if it can still exist without.  

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ORIGINAL: SweetCnt4Lvn
I havn't quite decided whether I want to / have the capacity to pursue something real so I don't want to blow such a rewarding sexual relationship by not giving in to being his sex toy for share but fear doing so might jeapordize my chances with his heart.

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ORIGINAL: came4U

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I hear over and over again how it 'broke something' either inside of them, their partner, their relationship, or a combination.

Yep, been there done that, and yes it does.