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vulnerability - 6/23/2008 4:12:39 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		how much of what we do as submissives is about vulnerability.

ok, we trust our dominants, that should be a given, and to a certain extent we know what to expect from them and the dynamics involved.

we are here for lots of different reasons, everyone is different, every dynamic is different - humiliation, pain, service, submission comes in lots of different ways but ultimately is it a feeling of vulnerability when we are tied, blind folded, hooded, held down or is it something else. 
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 4:26:24 PM   
SaraZeal


Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline 		Well to me their needs to be some degree of vulnerability to reach a degree of helplessness - which is what attracts me in bondage and the likes.

(in reply to lally3)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 4:31:59 PM   
NeedingMore220


Posts: 615
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		A lot of it is about vulnerability with me - both physical and emotional.  I find it fairly easy to be physically vulnerable with the Doms that I've been with - there is trust there, and though I may find something physically challenging I trust where I am with him.  It's the emotional vulnerability that gets me ... draws me in and fully engages me in the relationship.  Being able to be open about who I am and to be held close by him whether because of who I am or in spite of some of the darker things. 

(in reply to lally3)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 4:35:32 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		yes... i hadnt thought about it as vulnerability before, until this weekend.  im not sure what word i had given to the feelings of not knowing what was coming next or knowing and having no option over it.  maybe i hadnt given the feelings a title atall, which is what led me to post this, probably totally obvious to everyone reading it...  not totally together right now. x

(in reply to SaraZeal)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 4:41:48 PM   
tigerseye


Posts: 79
Joined: 1/10/2008
Status: offline 		for me it's not really about being vulnerable, and i actually hate the feeling of helplessness.  personally everything i do is for that overwhelming feeling of joy when i know that i've done something to make my Master happy.  it's the protection he gives me, knowing he is always there for me no matter how far away he actually is.  i have never had a relationship with this level of trust and understanding before, and it is this reason i am able to fully give into my submissiveness. 


_____________________________

~rose~


(in reply to NeedingMore220)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 4:48:32 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedingMore220

It's the emotional vulnerability that gets me ... draws me in and fully engages me in the relationship.  Being able to be open about who I am and to be held close by him whether because of who I am or in spite of some of the darker things. 


yes...particularly the bit ive put in red.  when i am with my master it feels totally encompassing, because i can be free to be me.  the vulnerability that leaves behind in me is incredibly strong - actually when he goes i get awful sub-drop for a bit, the freedom to be me swings something wide open in me that is total vulnerability - and yet i cant and wouldnt change that because i dont want to not feel that feeling of open freedom when im with him.  im not sure if im making sense.  its not just in play, though that is accentuated, just being with him is enough to swing that vulnerability door wide open - and oddly i welcome it - but.... vulnerable as i am i am still strong, it isnt a negative thing.

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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 4:57:36 PM   
daddysliloneds


Posts: 1351
Joined: 6/28/2006
Status: offline 		i don't need to feel vunerable to be submissive; yet i do feel empowered being submissive, if that makes sense to you.

(in reply to lally3)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 5:55:30 PM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		I don't see being vulnerable to Him as being helpless.  I am slowly opening myself up to Him in ways I have never done with another person.  I am gradually lowering those protective barriers and dealing with past baggage and issues (some of which I didn't know were there) so that I can be completely open to Him and with Him.

Being emotionally, mentally and physically vulnerable to another is a scary prospect and requires trust and responsibility.  Trusting that the other person isn't going to intentionally harm you in your vulnerable state..... and responsibility on the other persons part for the trust that has been placed in them.

But I don't just feel that being vulnerable falls on the submissive side of the slash.  I want and need to be that place where He can be open and vulnerable, and for Him to trust that I will take as great a care of Him (emotionally, mentally and physically) as He does with me. 


(in reply to lally3)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 6:16:38 PM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		helplessness used to make me feel deeply resentful, so i know what you mean by that.  to me helpless suggests feeling weak in a negative way for negative reasons from negative input that isnt looking for any positive outcome.  ie., abuse.

the vulnerability i feel leaves me wide open emotionally and totally available physically in a way ive never allowed myself to feel in the past.  it is different to helpless because it isnt from a position of weakness.

im not suggesting for a second that people need to feel vulnerable in order to feel submissive - i dont need to feel vulnerable, i just tend to and ive only recently thought of calling it vulnerability because my Master used the word this weekend, which made me think about it more, maybe because ive never thought of myself as vulnerable, but i am with Him because i feel totally safe to be that vulnerable.




< Message edited by lally3 -- 6/23/2008 6:21:50 PM >

(in reply to daddysliloneds)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 6:47:51 PM   
SweetNika


Posts: 955
Joined: 4/19/2008
From: Forest Hills, Maryland
Status: offline 		lally,
For me I am always the one expected to be in control whether with my family or job so I crave the ability to give up that power to someone. Being able to give up my power, my control empowers me.
 
Blessed be
Nika

< Message edited by SweetNika -- 6/23/2008 7:00:42 PM >

_____________________________

Blessed be,
Nika


(in reply to lally3)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 7:54:36 PM   
Daes


Posts: 246
Joined: 4/20/2007
From: Diamond Bar, SoCal
Status: offline 		Vulnerability and a willingness to be exposed is definately part of giving in, youre allowing another to See a side of you that you don't normally have in your outside life. Thats why the partner you take on is one you are willing to expose yourself to.

_____________________________

~*Estrellita*~
I want to be in surrender of His strength, of His power. Alone, I am nothing, but in His arms I am all things...

~His puppy~

(in reply to SweetNika)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 9:12:42 PM   
malloves69


Posts: 913
Joined: 9/15/2006
Status: offline 		being a submissive male ..i think im most vulnerable to my mistress during strapon play and then being fisted by her once she slides in that feeling is amazing but im so vulnerable to her as she opens me up and cums inside of me the way that she does  love the power exchange and once shes inside i swear her fingers are drawn directly to my prostate as she slowly milks the cum from me that i have stored up for her to take  once she starts to massage my prostate im totally at her mercy until theres nothing left and i have stopped dripping out cum ..my mistress knows my prostate well i must say love her in control and love being vulnerable to her  mal

(in reply to Daes)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 9:19:17 PM   
youngsubgeoff


Posts: 900
Joined: 9/25/2007
From: The Asylum
Status: offline 		My emotional vulnerability is what has gotten me in trouble before. Too many times have I been taken advantage of, my very soul raped and heart torn to shreds... Guess thats what happens when you trust someone....

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You dont need to question my sanity, I can assure you Im quite mad. Its ok though, all the best people are

(in reply to malloves69)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 10:05:31 PM   
LuckyAlbatross


Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline 		I don't see it as any more or less than in any relationship or position- dominants often find it difficult to be vulnerable as necessary for the type of relationship they want.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to youngsubgeoff)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 10:26:14 PM   
ownedgirlie


Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline 		I am more vulnerable to him than I have ever been to anybody (well, except for my infant stage  )

More than physically vulnerable, I am emotionally vulnerable.  The man has the power to crush me if he so chooses, and I trust him that he won't, although he has deeply hurt me a time or two.  Still, he has my heart, and as fluffy and romantic as that may come across, I still want to serve him, please him, submit to him.  I am extremely vulnerable to him.  It goes with my submission.

As others have said, this doesn't mean I am helpless or fearful.  I have simply given everything over now, and what he does with that is in his hands.  Logically, that makes me very vulnerable to him.

Ironically enough, that vulnerability empowers me in all other ways.

_____________________________

Good is the enemy of great.

(in reply to lally3)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/23/2008 10:43:44 PM   
bashfulhuck


Posts: 119
Joined: 5/26/2008
Status: offline 		I really loved what you just had to say ownedgirlie. It really hit close to home for me as well.
For me, the best feeling in the world is the emotional vulnerability I have when I'm collared by someone. I don't have to be the big gruff, badassed, 300 Lb weightlifting bouncer. I get to be the loving, gentle, tender submissive that will do anything for his Lady. For me, the safest, most secure feeling in the world is to have a collar on my neck, the leash in her hands, and me at her feet. My Domina didn't judge me based on my weight, or how I looked, she only saw that I was devoted, loving, and eager to serve her.
As for the physical vulnerability, until recently, the idea of bondage has scared the beejesus out of me, so has knife play. Yet I just recently experienced knife play for the first time, and had an amazing time, and have been thinking that bondage isn't so scary afterall. Yes it leaves me immensley vulnerable, but in a good way. So long as the Dominant that has me in the position is taking the trust I gave over to them seriously, I know everything will be ok.

Peace and serenity,
bashfulhuck

(in reply to ownedgirlie)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/24/2008 12:01:05 AM   
Quivver


Posts: 1953
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline 		Vulnerability to Me only comes with Transparency.  

_____________________________

The problem with communication ... is the illusion that it has been accomplished. ~George Bernard Shaw

(in reply to bashfulhuck)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/24/2008 5:23:54 AM   
Aileen1968


Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline 		It's a huge turn on for me to be physically vulnerable.  Knowing that I'm in no control of the situation or have no choices is preferable.  Being emotionally vulnerable is very different and a position I don't enjoy.  I've been burned in the past by that and it's not something I care to repeat. 

_____________________________



(in reply to lally3)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/24/2008 5:43:35 AM   
mistoferin


Posts: 8284
Joined: 10/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3
but ultimately is it a feeling of vulnerability when we are tied, blind folded, hooded, held down or is it something else. 


Got me thinking....

Vulnerable:

1 : capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
2 : open to attack or damage

I understand the feeling you are describing but after looking up the actual definition I find that it is in conflict to the actual feeling. I don't know...maybe a false sense of vulnerability? In his presence and at his hand are the places in my world that I feel the safest and I certainly know that I am not at risk of being attacked, damaged or wounded. Granted, my view of those terms is probably different than it is for many others and some certainly could interpret the things he does to me as attacks, wounds and damage but I just don't perceive them that way. So while I do understand that feeling of being completely exposed physically or emotionally....I don't think I ever feel at risk of anything that would negatively impact me in the long term.

_____________________________

Peace and light,
~erin~

There are no victims here...only volunteers.

When you make a habit of playing on the tracks, you thereby forfeit the right to bitch when you get hit by a train.

"I did it! I admit it and I'm gonna do it again!"

(in reply to lally3)
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RE: vulnerability - 6/24/2008 5:50:40 AM   
lanie38


Posts: 120
Joined: 9/14/2007
Status: offline 		~FR~

Funny I never looked at my submissiveness as being vulnerable at all. Actually I feel quite empowered being his. Completely engaged and a necessary part of the equation of our power exchange. Even if I have no control in a situation, I've chosen to give up that control...and that translates in my POV to empowerment. I guess all of us look at things through a different lens.

_____________________________

Don't be so humble...you're not that great. ~ Golda Meir

(in reply to Aileen1968)
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