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Chaingang -> RE: Giving up (11/8/2005 7:21:08 AM)
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Yeah, wrong place and manner to vent one's spleen.
All I can hope is that a decent looking 24 year old's failure here means that the women on the site ARE actually being selective and trying to choose someone with more experience and wisdom. I think it matters, and I think age factors into those criteria. The OP's newbie status is obviously working against him. But at least he admits he's a beginner and his honesty is laudable. So while everyone has been taking the piss out of him for being a probable faker - how can he know who he is without the experience to set an exclamation point at the end of his desires? Maybe he knows who he is on the inside, but he has never had the chance to prove it to the world beyond his own skin - and that's the difference between intention and action. Fair is fair, right?
Of course, had I been this 24 year old when I was 24 I would have been screwed - except that I wasn't. I have always been able to find suitable partners for my interests. I have also known how to pick my partners and when to throw a fish back into the pond for someone else to catch. Generally speaking, I have usually had more offers than I could have or even wanted to accept. And as a guideline, if a Dom doesn't receive more offers than he has the time or inclination to pursue I think something may be wrong with that person. Something is wrong with who they are or how they approach life and love.
To the OP:
BDSM is not something that one chooses to experiment with. Such desires are a part of one as plainly as the need to breathe.
When all else fails, try finding an adventurous women outside the "official" scene. I won't go off all "gorean" and tell you about the natural submissiveness of all women - but then, you might be surprised how many women do actually respond to natural assertiveness on the part of a man. Yes, it's significantly part of the genetic function of women to be submissive - not that nature doesn't have plenty of alternative experiments she's also conducting with 6 billion plus people on the planet. Still, I'd say there were plenty of women outside the scene that were willing to experiment if a Dom could be patient and nurturing of those incipient submissive leanings. A few years of that and a man might find himself with a great submissive on his hands or at least be ready to experiment further with others and without having to admit a beginner's status.
If your desire is real and your heart is pure - go forth and conquer!
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