candystripper
Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SteelofUtah
See this Line is being taken out of context.
Dolores is not portraying that Bitch in a Positive. If you remember she has Killed her husband who was an abusive dick. She has lost everything even her own daughter she has no real history and no real future she spent her entire life working for the woman who everyone thought she hated and who also treated her like shit, however the back story is a little masochistic if you ask me/
The Point being when she says that "Sometimes being a Bitch is all a woman has to hang on to" what she is saying is without being a bitch she would literally have NOTHING no sense of self and not drive to continue on.
Actually, it isn't the character Dolores who speaks the line. At the point in the movie when the line is delivered, Dolores' husband is still alive -- though he won't be for much longer. Dolores' employer says this famous quote to her, after finding Dolores crying her eyes out over her discovery of the abuse of her daughter.
The employer gives Dolores the afternoon off and hands her the viewers for watching the eclipse, and implies, through telling Dolores about having killed her own husband and then delivering the line, that Dolores should dispose of the f**ktard she's married to in order to protect her daughter.
Which of course Dolores does, but in such a round-about way she really hasn't committed murder.
It's brilliantly written; definately one of my favorite films.
This in my opinion rarely applies to the submissive, because the nature of a submissive is to fully embrase themselves and empower themselves through thier submission or to complately fall apart and become what they think is unworthy of any fulfilling relationship beyond one of control.
I need help understanding this. It sounds as if You're saying a woman who discovers she's submissive has a moment in time when she falls apart....but that can't be what You meant.
Now OBVIOUSLY not all women fall into this very ridgid structure but the point remains that the way "Bitch" is being referenced in the Movie is not the Nature of what I think candystripper is expressing.
The Idea that a sub speaking up to thier Master makes them a Bitch is a whole different story. I think it comes down to intent. In Example, andi at times gets frustrated and holds onto it and lets it build up and by the time she is finally ready to do something about it her demeanor is in a Negative form and she Bitches, when she bitches I usually try to understand the jist of her complaint and then shut her down because I am not going to give her a platform to continue with inappropriate conduct and usually I send her to the room where she gets to calm down and come back to me when she can discuss herself rationally.
Yea, I need time to 'pause and reflect' if I lose my temper...though it takes a great deal nowadays to provoke me that much. I try to self-monitor and in the main I do a good job, but I would expect my Dom to tell me 'we can discuss this when you're prepared to do so respecfully' if it ever became necessary.
But see, when I say bitch I'm not referring to a woman who's lost her temper and is giving someone a rash -- especially not her Dom. I mean a woman who has decided 'okay, I need to ramp it up here' because the sit calls for it. A behavior chosen as a necessary and unavoidable response to certain sits.
When something bothers her and she says right away, " you know that didn't feel right" or " I don't like the way that made me feel" then I am more apt to listen to the issue and find a rational solution.
andi also knows that I don't care for her getting beligerent in public not because I feel a submissive should be meek and mild but because it isn't her place to make the scene if anyone is going to make the scene it is Me, not her and I usually do. You see I feel responsible for her actions and her behavior in public or in certain situations I believe reflects upon me and I don't like people speaking for me so if someone is going to thought of as a Bitch or an Asshole I Perfer it to be Me not her.
This is rather appealing -- part of the 'protective' nature I see in some Doms. I admit this won't be easy for me -- I'm used to handling matters on my own and I'm very protective of people I love. It would be difficult not to speak back if someone insulted my Dom, but I do know it'll be an adjustment I can make.
In any event, why would a submissive chose to turn bitchy in a sit that her Dom was present for and could handle? For a variety of reaons the Dom is almost always better equipped to handle the sit -- so why not let him?
As for dealing with Problems and Issues I am a believer that all situations can be handled with Logic and or Jail time.
Laffs. That is priceless -- can I steal it?
Seriously though, there isn't always a cop around when you need one, as they say. Some people are not gonna respond to Logic. If she's alone and faces a sit like that, do you have any objection if she stands up for herself? If she uses curse words, or raises her voice, or elsewise acts 'aggressively'?
If something gets agressive or goes agro I always want to be the reciepient of that because I carry a cell phone with an emergency key and a Police Locator and when things get Agro I want them to take a swing at me because I can take it I really don't want to have to defend my girl especially if she was at fault because I detest defending the agressors side. Point being, I know andi can take care of herself but when she gave herself to me as her Owner it no longer became her choice to make it became mine and she knows what I expect of her and I have had to remind her of it once or twice at concerts when there were nearly fist fights over being up front.
I totally agree the 'bar fight' sit isn't a time for a woman to become bitchy. It only serves to embroil her in the combat, when retreating is the obvious better choice. Only a ninny 'goes looking' for a chance to be bitchy, or does so indiscrimanently. Stupid bitchiness can inflame the combatants and turn a fist fight into something more serious.
Same thing applies when dealing with the 'reality challenged'.
Retreat, retreat, retreat.
So in Short I perfer a Strong submissive to a Submissive Bitch Anyday.
Whoa -- I never advocated any woman remain in 'bitch mode'. Women like this aren't my idea of a bitch -- they are my idea of ill-mannered, annoying, neurotic, line cutting, fit pitching arrested development cases. As if on the single most aggravating point in adolesence they said, 'O, this feels good. Think I'll act like this all my life'. Yes, such women exist -- but who in their right mind would seek one out?
If you find you cannot behave like a lady 99% of the time, IMO you need to figure out where all the risk or bullsh*t is coming from and remove yourself to some place nicer as soon as possible.
But I also think if you've lost touch with your bitchiness to such an extent you cannot call upon it under any circumstances, you had better pray your guardian angel is working a lot of OT.
candystripper
Steel
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RE: The Submissive and The Bitch - 
Profile
Seriously though, from what I've seen from women who are "bitches" on a regular basis it's a defense mechanism they have well practiced. Attack, before you are attacked in order to "defend" yourself or divert attention away from a sensitive area. Like being a control freak (a different conversation) being in control of all situations gives the illusion of always being on top. Being a bitch on a regular basis is no different, IMHO. It is a poor mask for insecurities & self doubt when a lower toned conversation and rationally driven conversation would suffice. Being a bitch escalates the situation to divert the focus. 
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