julietsierra
Posts: 1841
Joined: 9/26/2004 Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GreedyTop quote:
ORIGINAL: candystripper I'd like to know where on earth all you people are living? On a farm? In a bubble? Are you just very young? The fact is, no matter what stratum of society you think you belong to, you are not safe from street crime -- or worse. There is no awareness of one's surroundings? No selectivity about where/when one goes? When I lived in Florida, there was a rash of attacks on women in the parking lots of the malls. Some were very serious. Then there were actual riots in the malls. Both of them -- the upscale one as well as the more modestly priced one. The same thing happens here. I don't watch the local news because it upsets me. It's all crime and bad weather. I am not limiting the occasions in which 'drawing on your inner bitch' to street crime. Nutjobs can enter your life unnoticed for awhile, and can be difficult to remove. Other sits are possible. But I am mystified at this 'la-la-la' attitude that 'crime isn't part of my life'. candystripper Once again.. WTF does all this have to do with being a submissive? I agree that bitchiness has no place in a D/s relationship. If I have to resort to bitchiness to communicate with my Master, then really, what kind of relationship do I actually have in the first place? If I opted to be bitchy to him, well, color me gone - or color HIM gone...cause it has no place with us. At the same time, I am really floored by the comments I've read here. What about the times we're dealing with OTHER people? I agree that more often than not, simply dealing with something assertively will be enough, but that's not always the case. You see, amazingly, I am a submissive whether I'm strung up on a cross, baking pies at home, grocery shopping or at work. I am a submissive whether I'm at home in my small town or going someplace in Detroit or through Detroit. However, just because I don't happen to put it out there for the general public doesn't change who I am. Just because I don't submit to the general public, doesn't mean I'm not a submissive while out in it. What I thoroughly do not understand is the notion that just because we're submissives, we're somehow supposed to just sit back and take whatever life throws at us in some passive manner. Threaten me and believe me, I am not passive. Threaten my family and there is no such thing as my "inner bitch" She's right out there in the open for the world to see and for the person doing the threatening to deal with. I don't see that this is in conflict with any part of who I am as a submissive. I re-read the OP, just to see if she might have limited herself to moments within lifestyle related activities, and she did not. She included the whole range of life happenings. Yet, throughout this thread, everyone seems to be focusing on only one situations she outlined. Nonetheless, I find the comments in this thread amazing. I read something akin to "go tell the DM" and yes, that is an option in a venue where there is one. But believe me, there are moments when bitchy is what gets the job done (even if we don't like to think that it takes all that). I happen to know someone who takes advantage of the tendency of submissives to be passive. He hears what he wants to hear, he doesn't take no for an answer and is horrifically persistent - not over a period of days in a month, but over years. (For me, it's been TEN (10!!) years of dealing with him, and even though I've been with my Master for 6 of those 10, he still finds ways of stepping in where he's been told specifically not to go - and told by my Master. At times throughout these 10 years, no less than four people have talked to this person on my behalf. Nothing changed except that he was a bit more stealthy in his approach to me) Being nice does NOT get the job done. Once, in a room full of submissives, the question was posed, "How many of you have had to deal with unwanted and unstoppable attention from this person?" The submissives were asked to raise their hands. EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM had their hands raised. And you'd best believe that we've told our Masters, DMs, and so on, and yes, they've stepped up and stepped in to handle the situation,.but he is who he is and he has not stopped - he will NOT stop. To a person, what we all found out is that the best thing that works is simply being mean (bitchy) to him. Each and every single time, he was floored that it was happening - evidently, he'd not heard the chorus of "NO!" that we'd all given him throughout the years. But being mean/bitchy was what it took. We might wish we didn't have to go that route, but for us, it was what needed to be done. So what does being bitchy have to do with being submissive? Sometimes, everthing - even if we wish we didn't have to be that way. juliet
< Message edited by julietsierra -- 7/1/2008 4:29:18 AM >
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