"Deal Breakers"

"Deal Breakers" (Full Version)

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EarthGoddess52 -> "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 11:22:36 AM)
Do any of you out there, Dom(me) or sub I suppose, have "deal brakers" in your initial communicatons with a potential partner? What I mean is Is there something that a contact says or does that immediately negates the possibility of further contact with you? I have one thing in mind that does that for me ......well, maybe two things. To me, they're legitimate/important, but since they occur fairly often, I'm wondering if I'm being petty. Thanks for your thoughts. theEarthGoddess

Madame4a -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 11:28:59 AM)
What are yours? Directly from my profile -- emphasis added on things I'm really adamant about... Things that don't interest me or I dislike: people with active addictions (unless you share mine to coffee), playing with your wife (GF, submissive or slave), slovenly or unkempt men (or women for that matter), cyber/online/vt stuff other than communication, age play, scat, people without a life outside of their SM or of CM and the internet, emotional games, know-it-alls, foot worship, chastity, diapers, crossdressing, cuckolds, lists of what and how you want me to do things, "Mistress, I can be anything you want me to be," games designed to illicit punishment, and oh so many other things. I'm not really interested in someone exclusively focused on one activity or body part. I have many interests on many levels; I have balance, I seek balance. I am only interested in people who live in my area (or close but the distance is relative, I'm learning), are OUT, as in play publically and attend events, meetings and munches (or are willing to). OUT also means that if you're married, your spouse knows what you're doing. In truth, let me be clear, I'm really not too interested in someone who is married.

darchChylde -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 11:39:18 AM)
i used to think i had deal-breakers, but the one's that were my biggest three: married polyamorous switch are all things that can be used to define my Owner; so, i've decided that i don't have deal breakers and take things on a case-by-case basis. Of course, being owned; i don't have to worry about that, hopefully for a very long time. Edited to Add: OK, about someone contacting me; if you're a stranger then you'd best treat me with the utmost respect, with absolutely no assumed familiarity.

EarthGoddess52 -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 12:26:26 PM)
The two opening lines that really bug me are "Do you have a picture?" and "What is your bra/breast size?" I can't believe people are still doing that!! Hopefully, there is more to a relationship than this!! Hopefully, you have more to bring to the partnership than your genitals. I think CollarMe is a good venue to meet people and initiate contact, but there certainly must be "Real Time" follow up if the relationship is to fluorish. I invite contacts to voice their preferences and opinion, especially in the initial, "getting to know you" stages of a potential relationship. I agree, Madame4a, that viewers should read the entire profile before contacting someone here and respect the limits, etc. outlined in that profile. While Hard Limits may always remain off limits, as DarkChylde has shown, sometimes even "deal breakers" or "soft Limits" can be overcome as a relationship evolves and Trust deepens. Thanks for your input

pixelslave -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 1:21:40 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: EarthGoddess52 The two opening lines that really bug me are "Do you have a picture?" and "What is your bra/breast size?" I can't believe people are still doing that!! Hopefully, there is more to a relationship than this!! I wouldn't refer to those as "deal breakers" per say, more as "red flags" that you've been approached by someone who's superficial and not interested in getting to know you as a person. It's been my experience that women who I've not always noticed at first glance have become very attractive to me the longer we talked and the better I got to know them. [;)] - pixel

Leatherist -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 1:26:16 PM)
Small children, prioritize pets as people-poor physical and mental health-intellectually dull. Drug addict, std positive (incurable), lives in a fantasy world. That covers the main ones.

LaTigresse -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 1:30:00 PM)
Being male. Being in sexual relationship with a male. Instability..........such as abuse of self, drugs, alchohol, others, drama, negativity. Lying. .....just a few off the top of my head........

EarthGoddess52 -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 1:36:03 PM)
Thank you, pixelslave. I guess I should've been more explicit!! I'm not really talking about respecting limits per se as much as I'm talking the etiquette involved in approaching a potential partner, even online, maybe ESPECIALLY online because online, we only have words to go by and not body language, facial expressions, inflections of voice, etc.......which are just more reasons in-person meetings are so necessary after that initial contact.

christine1 -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 1:36:43 PM)
my deal breakers are being married being poly drug/alcohol addictions not in control of ones life dishonesty expecting unrealistic things from me, (ie...i had a dom once who finally fessed up after several months that he wanted me to weigh 100 lbs to meet his fantasy woman weight...definitely not realistic) i look back at that and know now why he's never been married or had a serious relationship that lasted very long and why he never will....sad.

chickpea -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 2:37:10 PM)
No good values Only after my body Fake Dom (not comfortable with control, just likes BDSM cuz it's easier to get laid that way) Long hair (don't know why I just don't like guys with long hair aesthetically) Abusive Being married Poly Weak Not stable Not wise Immature Swinger No confidence Indecisiveness Whiner Quiet and non-talkative Not Intelligent Narrow-minded Not open to new ideas or activities No spark in life Too quick to judge (without looking in the mirror) Rude Thinks the ends justifies the means Not energetic, healthy, or active Does not cuddle Labels people for the purpose of pointing fingers away from their own faults, instead of getting at the truth Too Materialistic Does not respect elders or family Player Cheater No joy or appreciation for normal blessings in life Thinks of women as lower beings rather than different beings :)

Leatherist -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 3:19:42 PM)
I need to add one more. Wanders around attacking people in online forums. [;)]

chickpea -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 3:28:11 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I need to add one more. Wanders around attacking people in online forums. [;)] How about attacking/labelling other people, not looking in the mirror, playing the victimized Dom, and trying to be cute about it?

LolaBabalon -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 3:31:29 PM)
Married people who want a personal Mistress "on the side" Slaves who immediately start telling me how much they'd love to worship/lick/suck any part of my anatomy (really, when did it become acceptable to offer any sexual service to someone the moment you introduce yourself?) People who write any generic message asking "how they may serve me". This leads me to believe that they are lacking imagination, probably have not read my profile, and quite probably lazy and will expect me to put forth all the effort in our interactions. Being Domme doesn't mean (to me at least) that I should have to guide someone every step of the way. I'm leery of anyone who doesn't approach in a way similar to the way you'd approach anyone you wanted to make a good impression on in the real world. If you have a common interest, bring it up. Introduce yourself - give me an idea of your personality (especially if your profile is lacking in any sort of interesting detail), keep the compliments realistic, and that's about the only way that I'm going to spend my time responding.

Leatherist -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 3:43:09 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chickpea quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I need to add one more. Wanders around attacking people in online forums. [;)] How about attacking/labelling other people, not looking in the mirror, playing the victimized Dom, and trying to be cute about it? pot-kettle black? Looked there of late yourself? You can't blame the rest of the world on the last relationship you had that didn't work.

RedMagic1 -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 4:03:10 PM)
In the wonderful words of Amy/CrouchingTigress, when someone asks you your bra size right away, it's a positive, not a negative. You have been "given the gift of the red flag."

chiaThePet -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 4:49:58 PM)
Her penis is bigger than mine. [sm=hyper.gif] Sooooooooooo wonderful to see you EarthGoddess! Wonderful indeed. chia* (the pet)

chickpea -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 5:07:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist quote: ORIGINAL: chickpea quote: ORIGINAL: Leatherist I need to add one more. Wanders around attacking people in online forums. [;)] How about attacking/labelling other people, not looking in the mirror, playing the victimized Dom, and trying to be cute about it? pot-kettle black? Looked there of late yourself? You can't blame the rest of the world on the last relationship you had that didn't work. Hi, thanks for taking my words out of context and twisting them in order to continue living in your fantasy world of cold, evil subs attacking poor victim Doms. waaaaa! [:o][:o] [sm=wtf.gif]

chickpea -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 5:31:02 PM)
Oh yeah, let's not forget... Victim Dom. lol

VBPiercedGal -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 6:04:59 PM)
1) Lying to me about anything (omissions count in this category). I'm a big girl and can take honesty. Honestly. 2) Deliberately ignoring my limits or not disclosing one's own limits. "I really hate it when you finger my ass" "You could have told me that before I was in up to the elbow!" 3) Being shitty towards people in the service industry. If one can't treat a waitress, retail clerk, cab driver, etc... with respect, then I know there's no way one would treat me with respect. No one is entitled to be a dick head. 4) Being cruel or neglectful towards pets. No leeway on this one. If you can't feed your cat, brush your dog, or take your child's very ill ferret to the vet, then you certainly aren't qualified to look after me should I need it. 5) Consistantly poor hygeine. I can understand missing a shower because one has had an overly busy day, but this should never happen 3 days in a row. Eeew. Oh, and brush your damn teeth! Wash your damn hands!

faerytattoodgirl -> RE: "Deal Breakers" (6/27/2008 6:22:28 PM)
being male poly married switch has kids invalid is a drunk does drugs..including pot bill collectors calling 24-7 bath tub looks like a dirty grave will not cuddle me, spank me, flog me, kiss me, thrill me eats my ice cream or chocolate bars drinks my diet pepsi is unfaithful lying

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