RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (Full Version)

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Amaros -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:22:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: crouchingtigress

well i must be unhealthy and destructive then. *sigh*
The "girl's" age was not specified, you are 37, well past the point you should have developed some common sense, so saw away, I hope somebody has some medical training - if I might ask out of sheer morbid curiosity, what body parts are are you removing?




variation30 -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:28:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhatUrSeeking

My father is a psychologist. Him and several of the other shrinks were wrestling with an issue. An out of state doctor had asked for their opinion on how to treat a patient with the following case. Two individuals met each other online the girl desired nothing more than to be consumed by her master. This master wanted to literally eat his submissive. They were both willing participants and they both got off sexually on this arrangement. Over the course of a few months the girl cut off pieces of her own body starting with fingers. She would take pictures and mail her master these as well. Her Dom would cook her body parts and eat them. He probably sent her pictures of this as well. The arrangement was that after a certain period of time of his consuming her body she would commit suicide and he would eat her corpse. She amputated several fingers and possibly other body parts, but the pair was stopped by another party before she died. As I said they are both mutually agreeing and very sexually aroused by this. Both mutually agreeing and sexually aroused would have normally fit my description of a healthy sexual relationship that others should keep their nose out of; however this it seems obvious to me that the amputation, canabalism, and murder/suicide in this Dominant / submissive relationship crossed some sort of line to do with health, morality, and sanity. These people needed help. They were also into BDSM. So it seems there is a line where BDSM is not healthy, but where is the line.


you have to reduce these things to a reductio ad absurdum. fortunately, this has already been done for us.

is this unhealthy, certainly. is it unwise, I think so. has it 'crossed the line', no.

to begin, I think a quote from my favorite psychiatrist (the only one worth reading) Szasz is appropriate: "He who does not accept and respect those who want to reject life does not truly accept and respect life itself. "

most people see this behavior as ignorant and self-destructive. that's fine. but is there ever a point where you or anyone else has the authority to step in and say 'no no no, you can't live your life like this because I know what you need to do with your body, mind,and life better than you do'. does that line lie at suicide? is it at self-mutilation? smoking or eating unheathy foods? going outside in a storm? and so on and so on. if you say that you have the authority to disallow others from performing certain actions because *you* think they are unwise, then you have essentially stripped away any virtue of free will from any individual other than yourself (and those who think like you). you cannot make logical distinctions on what actions are permissible and what actions are not (assuming both parties consent). you make arbitrary distinctions. either you think that individuals should be able to do with their minds and bodies what they please or you think that some privileged people should be able to dictate to the rest of the population what they can and cannot do with their minds and bodies.

of the two ideologies, I side with the former.

quote:

Of note in Hugh Heffner's biography he states that anything sexual is O.K. as long as everyone is a consenting adult and does not commit the act with hate in their heart. His definition does not rule out BDSM, but it does rule out acts of BDSM done out of hatred. You could argue that it rules out the act between these two as well, but then we don't really know if this submissive amputated herself out of hatred for herself or if the Dom wanted her to because of hatred for her / women / humans / etc. Then again when I am angry it sure makes me feel better to take it out on a sexy bottom, and it does not feel unhealthy. Maybe even the great Heffner's definition is too restrictive.


are we really going to use a line from hugh heffner's biography as the litmus for what sexuala cct is ok and what is not? the motives are immaterial. if they consent, they consent. end of story.

I do things to myself that may cause permanent physical harm (bad diet, smoking). are these acts not ok in your opinion? should I be restrained from doing such?




Amaros -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:33:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyswitch

i've been following this thread and i have to admit that i find it interesting, both as an individual who faces her own mental illness issues and a person who's fascinated by society as a whole. what i have to question though with the legality of suicide argument is-- why do we feel that an ethical practioner has to intervene? i think that most people would agree that the preservation of life is of the utmost importance. but as it has already been pointed out, an individual who really wants to commit suicide will do so regardless of intervention. i by no means think that every effort shouldn't be made in order to help someone from committing suicide, if for no other reason that it is so often a cry for help.

at the same time however i see assisted suicide as being a whole other animal. at some point the state has dictated what we can and cannot do with our own bodies. at what point does ethics enter the area of social control? the state has a lot to loose in terms of power if an individual is given complete control over their own bodies. giving the individual that level of control essentially removes them from the power of society, by placing all of the methods of control into their hands as opposed to the state, the community, or the group depending on how macro you want to examine it from. it's the same issue with regards to homicide-- most  people would claim that there is no ethical reason to engage in homicide (except in extreme and socially sanctioned situations). however, where does that ethic come from? ethics don't fall out of the sky, and in large part are created to 'keep everyone on the same page' essentially. one can look at both situations from a religious angle-- most religions have some sanction against killing whether it be homicide or suicide. however, at its most basic, for all the good that it does for the individual for the society religion is nothing but a vehicle to make sure that individuals engage in behavior that benefits the society as a whole by creating an outline of what behavior is acceptable and what's not and by placing those actions under the umbrella of morality and ethics (durkheim, the elementary forms of religious life).

i guess what it boils down to for me is that envoking ethics doesn't really answer anything. the individual will still engage in behavior and society will still comment on it either way, and yes, that societal reaction is wholly dependent on what social environment you are in.

Ethics is science of cause and effect: how do your actions affect other people. W/regard to assisted suicide, there is always a question of motive - in a case where no one benefits directly from the suicide, no insurance, inheritence, etc., and there is a clear adn compelling reason, i.e., terminal illness involving great pain, etc., there are no significant ethical dillemas - this is seldom the case however, and suddenly a lot of people start jumping on the bandwagon - most people who wish ot commit suicide by and large feel that way due to depression, bipolar disorder, etc. - painful yes, terminal, not neccessarily.

There is in fact a protocol, it was invoked in Terry Schiavo's case, for, although assisted suicide is controversial, taking people off of life support, "no heroic measures", etc. is rather more common, and raises many of the same ethical issues.

In Schiavos case, it was determined that that there was nothing singnificant enough to be gained for anybody, including Schiavo, by keeping her alive, she was basically nothing but a brainstem, all of her cereberal cortex was essentially gone, she wasn't coming back.

The Jews, by all accounts went peacefully into the trains, and subsequently, into the showers, was it consensual? You think they couldn't smell the ovens?

It's a can of worms I tell ya, people are fucking devious, it something you have to keep in mind.




variation30 -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:35:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pagankinktress

I understand what you're saying blackbeard, but my question to throw back out to you is: would a person with clinical mental illness necessarily be able to articulate or be fully aware of being inappropirately violated?


everytime I hear the phrase 'mental illness' I don't know whether to shudder or laugh.




fluffyswitch -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:40:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

The Jews, by all accounts went peacefully into the trains, and subsequently, into the showers, was it consensual?

It's a can of worms I tell ya, people are fucking devious, it something you have to keep in mind.



oh of course people are devious lol or i would have to find something else to study lol.

however with the jewish example-- think you're comparing apples and oranges. that situation was SOOO far outside of ordinary that there is an entire (well several entire) fields dedicated to the study. when people face situations that are that far outside the range of normative behavior of course they're going to act in a manner that is hard to explain. however suicide and even self amputation is something the *average* individual will more likely have to deal with than genocide. the issue isn't necessarily simply consent-- it's consent that's filtered through the situations that lead to the involvement of the individual actors as well as the sociology and psychology that put them in that situation in the first place.

of course the issue of motive comes into play-- just because we are acted upon by societal forces (including ethics) doesn't mean that we're automatons. you can't discount the individual within sociology (peopel have tried it failed miserably). at the same time however you can't deny the pressure from macro forces as well, even if they aren't as obvious.




variation30 -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:41:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: wwwkevinww

I have a strong dislike for professionals who are clueless....this includes most of psychologists and psychiatrists......

What exactly does a psychiatrist know about a person, not alot, they know a little and prescribe them drugs (drug pushers) based on the little they know......usually within 10 minutes of meeting someone they are ready to start filling out prescriptions.....

With some decent acting, you can get all sorts of drugs legally by a psychiatrist.....most psychiatrists wouldn't know the difference between an act and reality if it smacked them upside the head.....


that's because there are no objective tests for 'mental illnesses'.

spoileralert: because behaviors aren't illnesses.




hisannabelle -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:41:31 PM)

quote:

The Jews, by all accounts went peacefully into the trains, and subsequently, into the showers, was it consensual? You think they couldn't smell the ovens?


you're seriously bringing up a case of mass genocide in a post on assisted suicide? really? that's beyond irrelevant. wanting to die because of suffering debilitating pain (or any other reason) is a teensy bit different from knowing that no matter what you do, resist or not, you are likely going to be murdered, or if not tortured, given the fact that everyone around you is being killed for being like you.

disgustedly,
a'ishah.




fluffyswitch -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:43:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

quote:

The Jews, by all accounts went peacefully into the trains, and subsequently, into the showers, was it consensual? You think they couldn't smell the ovens?


you're seriously bringing up a case of mass genocide in a post on assisted suicide? really? that's beyond irrelevant. wanting to die because of suffering debilitating pain (or any other reason) is a teensy bit different from knowing that no matter what you do, resist or not, you are likely going to be murdered, or if not tortured, given the fact that everyone around you is being killed for being like you.

disgustedly,
a'ishah.


actually it's an argument i've seen in several different places. its just one that i find flawed adn personally don't agree with.




hisannabelle -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:45:18 PM)

oh. i'm glad i haven't seen it elsewhere. i have a healthy blood pressure at the moment and i'd rather not do anything to change that.




fluffyswitch -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:46:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

oh. i'm glad i haven't seen it elsewhere. i have a healthy blood pressure at the moment and i'd rather not do anything to change that.


the wonderful thing about sociology is that it's a field full of crazy people. you get a little bit of everything-- some of it amazing and still being taught a hundred years after it was written. some of it you wonder if they got dropped on their heads that morning.




Emperor1956 -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:47:36 PM)

FR:  I am really not interested in the people on this thread talking loudly out of their respective asses.  But a point of clarification:  In fact "the Jews" did not go quietly to the camps.  There was a significant and constant rebellion by Jews, Armenians, Gypsies, homosexuals and other groups that the Nazis rounded up.  See Dawidowicz's master work "The War against The Jews".  This is a "comforting" myth perpetuated by the German and Polish populace post-WWII when decent human beings asked "How could you just stand by in the shadow of the ovens?"   Interestingly enough, it was also a myth popularized by Southern historians in the Jim Crow era -- that Negro slaves accepted slavery peacefully and without rebellions.

Both of these canards have been put to bed by respected historians.  But of course the CollarMe asstalkers don't care about fact.

E.




hisannabelle -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:50:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Emperor1956

FR:  I am really not interested in the people on this thread talking loudly out of their respective asses.  But a point of clarification:  In fact "the Jews" did not go quietly to the camps.  There was a significant and constant rebellion by Jews, Armenians, Gypsies, homosexuals and other groups that the Nazis rounded up.  See Dawidowicz's master work "The War against The Jews".  This is a "comforting" myth perpetuated by the German and Polish populace post-WWII when decent human beings asked "How could you just stand by in the shadow of the ovens?"   Interestingly enough, it was also a myth popularized by Southern historians in the Jim Crow era -- that Negro slaves accepted slavery peacefully and without rebellions.

Both of these canards have been put to bed by respected historians.  But of course the CollarMe asstalkers don't care about fact.

E.


thanks emperor.

quote:

the wonderful thing about sociology is that it's a field full of crazy people. you get a little bit of everything-- some of it amazing and still being taught a hundred years after it was written. some of it you wonder if they got dropped on their heads that morning.


thanks again. yeah...it's just that that viewpoint is only a step or two below holocaust deniers and related asshats in my book. i always forget that nothing is beyond the pale on this forum ;)

a'ishah.




fluffyswitch -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 6:52:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle

thanks again. yeah...it's just that that viewpoint is only a step or two below holocaust deniers and related asshats in my book. i always forget that nothing is beyond the pale on this forum ;)

a'ishah.



oh i agree entirely. i just like to let idiotic beliefs sound like....well you know. besides just because someone has a flawed argument doesn't mean that it's not a worthwhile discourse if for no other reaon that to  point out the flawed argument.




MadRabbit -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 7:01:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle
i always forget that nothing is beyond the pale on this forum ;)


Did you hear the one about the chick who said she would do anything? [:D] [;)]




Amaros -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 7:02:24 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: fluffyswitch
oh of course people are devious lol or i would have to find something else to study lol.

however with the jewish example-- think you're comparing apples and oranges. that situation was SOOO far outside of ordinary that there is an entire (well several entire) fields dedicated to the study. when people face situations that are that far outside the range of normative behavior of course they're going to act in a manner that is hard to explain. however suicide and even self amputation is something the *average* individual will more likely have to deal with than genocide. the issue isn't necessarily simply consent-- it's consent that's filtered through the situations that lead to the involvement of the individual actors as well as the sociology and psychology that put them in that situation in the first place.

of course the issue of motive comes into play-- just because we are acted upon by societal forces (including ethics) doesn't mean that we're automatons. you can't discount the individual within sociology (peopel have tried it failed miserably). at the same time however you can't deny the pressure from macro forces as well, even if they aren't as obvious.
If history is taken into account, It's quite the opposite - genocide is far more common than voluntary self mutilation - not counting purely cosmetic motives. Suicide is common enough of course, though most historical examples include a significant social component: in both Rome and feudal Japan, death was considered preferable to dishonor.

Healthy animals however, seek primarily to survive and reproduce, and anything that interferes with these activities is "abnormal" in a purely eviolutionary sense - these animals are compromising their reproductive potential, and the trait would not be inherited, it serves no apparent biological purpose.

The best argument would be that the trait for self destruction is a kind of deviation of the trait for self sacrifice, which was common in our ancestors, and can even be seen occasionally in the modern world, and which serves a very significant biological purpose, if in the act of self sacrifice, group selection requirements are served - it's essentially why people join the army.

Thus, I would superficially classify it along with most of BDSM, as a form of self sacrifice to serve the dyad, but unlike most other BDSM practices, I don't see how it enhances anybody's breeding potential, or serves any other biological or evolutionary purpose - if they were trapped on a desert island maybe, most mammals under extreme nutritional stress will eat their young, and some parents have been known to feed their children with their own body parts - it's a calculation as to who has the most breeding potential perhaps - but these people are not starving, and if allowed to continue to it's logical conclusion, the trait is not going to be inherited anyway.

The short version here is that it indicates and organism under enormous stress, and what may be rational under stress is not rational in the absence of that stress.

Ultimately, it strikes me as an unhealthy sociopathy, she ain't thinkin' straight, and he is encouraging her self destructive behavior - intervention just gives her time to think it over without him egging her on - if Ten years later, they feel compelled to complete the pathology, then I reckon they'll find a way to do that - but my guess is she'll have changed her mind.




variation30 -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 7:03:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: candystripper


* I wonder wtf was going on with the treating PhD,  that he didn't 'Baker Act' his patient when it first became clear she was a 'danger to herself or others'.  BEFORE she cut off even one finger.


collarme is the last place I'd expect to see someone touting the baker act.

fun fact: sadism and masochism are still in the DSM.





hisannabelle -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 7:08:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MadRabbit

quote:

ORIGINAL: hisannabelle
i always forget that nothing is beyond the pale on this forum ;)


Did you hear the one about the chick who said she would do anything? [:D] [;)]


stop reading my mind! it's creepy! out out out! ;)




variation30 -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 7:11:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Isolation

quote:

ORIGINAL: StrangerinBlack

Where do you draw the line between this and Boxing?

One need only look at Muhammed Ali to see the results of engaging in this sport.



getting punch doesn't give you parkinsons.




fluffyswitch -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 7:11:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Amaros

If history is taken into account, It's quite the opposite - genocide is far more common than voluntary self mutilation - not counting purely cosmetic motives. Suicide is common enough of course, though most historical examples include a significant social component: in both Rome and feudal Japan, death was considered preferable to dishonor.




i concur with the self mutilation if body modification is taken out of the picture. and suicide most definitely has a massive social component. whether or not we engage in it and treat those that do engage in it definitely is impacted by where we stand socially.

i'm not as strong with sociobiology but i think that the drive to self destruct in any form is definitely not 'normal' in the academic sense of the word. however, i would also say that it has to play a role in a society (from a purely sociological position, i know that from the psychology sense it's a whole other ball game) otherwise we wouldn't engage in it, if for no other reason that we've hit our anomie quota or go the other way and overconform. which would be, i agree, massive stress in either sense.




Amaros -> RE: When does BDSM become unhealthy or destructive (6/30/2008 7:33:33 PM)

There is fairly well defined dynamic involving self denial at work here, self immolation, not in the suicidal sense, but in the sense of the immolation of the self - getting out of your head, so to speak, that happens to be a common component of Shamanistic religions and religions of all stripe for that matter - it's the goal of Budhism for example, the Gnostics believed that asceticism and debauchery were just two sides of the same coin, both acts of self denial.

There are, or have been, as somone else mentioned, a certain strain of magical thinking throughout history involving cannibalism, i.e., magically taking on the desireable attributes of another by consuming their flesh - the Catholic transubstration ritual is borowed from Mithrism, which may have gotten it from some older warrior cult, it was common practice in some cultures to eat parts of your dead enemy to take on his strength.

Consumption itself as a symbol is a common sexual metaphor: "consumed by lust", and the fear of being consumed, Vagina dentata, was and might still be a common male phobia, and in any case, we still display a significant amount of cultural fear of female sexuality itself, which is thought to be insatiable and all consuming and thus requireing great effort to keep it in check.

The Dionysian cult revolved around the loss of self control, to be consumed by divine madness, and it is rumored that his female followers would tear their lovers to pieces under the influence of this ecstacy. There is a series of BDSM graphic stories that revolves around erotic cannibalism, girleater or something like that, it may well be an example of a pathology of known, if not well defined psychological symbolism - a Freudian would probobly have an opinion on the subject.




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