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RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 12:23:05 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles

Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? I have found vanilla sex singularly unsatisfying after all the kinky play I've enjoyed.  But I still enjoy the time I spend with someone I love and sexual and sensual play with her, even if not kinky time or actively doing a scene.  How about you?


Hi again ponyboyachilles.
 
For me the problem doesn't lie with the sex.  I have no doubt many 'vanilla ' men are fabulous lovers -- I've known a few myself. I want a lovely sex life wit my Dom, when I'm collared.
 
The problem really is the lack of a D/s dynamic. 'Vanilla' men may or may not learn to tie me up or pull my hair, but who cares?  They don't understand my need to submit or have the desire or 'skill set' to dominate me.  I think the notion that you can date 'vanilla' men and find real fulfillment from a 'natural Dom' is flawed.  Most people -- including most 'vanilla' adults -- have been exposed to D/s in some way, even if it's just a plot line in a tv show.  If that didn't pique their interest in D/s enough to get them to explore as something that they might want/need to be fulfilled, they probably aren't going to change just cuz you wish they would.  
 
There may be the rare exception to the rule here, particularly for young adults, but personally I don't think it's fruitful to seek a Dom among 'vanilla' men. 
 
candystripper 

(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 1:05:07 AM   
WhisperSupremacy


Posts: 74
Joined: 4/7/2008
Status: offline 		I left a while due to a lot of emotional distress, depression, and heartache within the fallout of my former d/s relationship.  After a while I came back.  Whether or not I would leave again is completly undetermined.  I guess it depends on the obsticles that will occur within my future relationships.  I personally do not want to leave it, that's for sure.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 1:11:31 AM   
summersprite


Posts: 101
Joined: 4/3/2008
Status: offline 		No. I don't want a 'vanilla only' relationship again. It would never be enough to satisfy me and I'd be looking for 'my D/s fix' elsewhere. But I'm quite happy to have vanilla sex again.... as long as there's a D/s dynamic there  .... and then I'd know that at any time the vanilla could turn very very kinky ;-)

(in reply to candystripper)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 5:12:40 AM   
ResidentSadist


Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline 		Vanilla lifestyle no ... but you said vanilla sex.  I have sweet, romantic, soft vanilla sex without leather as passionately and as often as I do with leather.  Not all the flowers I proffer my slave are made of leather with barbed wire stems.  I am a cards & flowers kind of guy.  A simple bouquet of flowers is nice but even when I give 3 dozen flowers to a a naked slave, it docent feel like BDSM to me.  Sometimes a jewelry filled pinatta telling her she is #1 and birthday ballos are in order.  All these examples seem like classically vanilla type expressions of love. 

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(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 5:24:14 AM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		Geez RS... *puddle*

(in reply to ResidentSadist)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 6:20:59 AM   
taintedgypsy


Posts: 228
Joined: 2/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JoePNY707

Nope! Vanilla is fine, but why settle only for one flavor, when you can have all 38 flavors?


See this is my thought ... I am greedy I want every flavor lol. I would not enter into a vanila relationship, I would not be happy. However I have been known to have a bit of fun with a vanilla man, and certainly enjoy the vanilla moments with a Dom, it takes nothing away from the dynamic.

quote:

Vanilla lifestyle no ... but you said vanilla sex.  I have sweet, romantic, soft vanilla sex without leather as passionately and as often as I do with leather.  Not all the flowers I proffer my slave are made of leather with barbed wire stems.  I am a cards & flowers kind of guy.  A simple bouquet of flowers is nice but even when I give 3 dozen flowers to a a naked slave, it docent feel like BDSM to me.  Sometimes a jewelry filled pinatta telling her she is #1 and birthday ballos are in order.  All these examples seem like classically vanilla type expressions of love. 

 
hmmm yum ResidentSadist, that pretty much sums it up, Dom is Dom and if he wants to taste vanilla, dip me and taste away lol.



_____________________________

..."Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass ... It is about learning to dance in the rain."

Equal Opportunity Slut (Yeah ... best of both worlds lol)

warm smiles to all

(in reply to JoePNY707)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 6:24:52 AM   
VioletAshes


Posts: 101
Joined: 1/16/2008
Status: offline 		Define Vanilla...
Maybe Vanilla is a kink all of its own?

_____________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm not like other girls that you know
but I believe I'm worth coming home to"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 7:32:46 AM   
DominantJenny


Posts: 645
Joined: 4/6/2008
Status: offline 		Could I go back? Yes. Would I be happy or fulfilled? No.

(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 10:46:28 AM   
TheGaggingWh0re


Posts: 222
Joined: 1/19/2006
Status: offline 		At this point, no. The very thought of not knowing that Master is taking control and ultimately has control is very much something that turns me off. I enjoy being his slave way too much! :P

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 11:06:49 AM   
missturbation


Posts: 8290
Joined: 2/12/2006
From: another planet
Status: offline 		~fr~
quote:

Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer?

In my opinion anyone COULD go back to vanilla life. The real question is WOULD they? Personally no i don't think i would, can't be 100% sure of course.
 


_____________________________

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If it fit's in a toaster, i can cook it.

Buying 10 item's or less is not shopping !!

(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 4:54:09 PM   
HardnRuff


Posts: 213
Joined: 3/17/2007
Status: offline 		I don`t think I could....... But who knows????

Never say never.

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(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 5:16:15 PM   
lostgirl83


Posts: 81
Joined: 2/8/2005
Status: offline 		I have tried vanilla relationships since discovering my interest in the lifestyle. I can be happy with the occasional vanilla sex... sometimes it just doesn't have to be kinky and elaborate to be good, but for me to feel completely fulfilled as a person the basic dynamics of the relationship have to be D/s related.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/29/2008 5:17:51 PM   
Huntertn


Posts: 715
Joined: 10/7/2006
Status: offline 		 I agree with phoenixrising43..If you love that person why not if it makes you both happy;love isn't kink..its just love....either its there and your world is good..or its not and your looking for it .....

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/30/2008 5:36:26 AM   
MsValentine


Posts: 82
Joined: 6/14/2008
Status: offline 		I love the D/s life I have now with my sub p. he and I made BIG choices to be together and have what we had always wanted. I ended an 11 year marriage and he a 22 year old marriage.

If I was somehow not allowed or able to have bdsm in my life, I would feel empty, utterly unsatisfied. Vanilla sex just does not do it for me at all. I went through two lengthy vanilla marriages to be sure I know that is true.

Without bdsm, I think I would be existing but not truly living.

(in reply to Huntertn)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/30/2008 10:51:08 AM   
Usako


Posts: 697
Joined: 7/29/2006
From: NYC
Status: offline 		Sure I could. I'm a multi layered person and BDSM is only one of those layers.

(in reply to MsValentine)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/30/2008 5:22:13 PM   
CallaFirestormBW


Posts: 3651
Joined: 6/29/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles

Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? I have found vanilla sex singularly unsatisfying after all the kinky play I've enjoyed.  But I still enjoy the time I spend with someone I love and sexual and sensual play with her, even if not kinky time or actively doing a scene.  How about you?


I actually -have-, for several years where it was necessary to put the -activities- of BDSM on the shelf. However, the mindset that allows me to find fulfillment in living my life this way, is, for me, a permanent course of thought, and I cannot imagine thinking any other way.

Firestorm

_____________________________

***
Said to me recently: "Look, I know you're the "voice of reason"... but dammit, I LIKE being unreasonable!!!!"

"Your mind is more interested in the challenge of becoming than the challenge of doing." Jon Benson, Bodybuilder/Trainer

(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/30/2008 5:53:31 PM   
variation30


Posts: 1190
Joined: 12/1/2007
From: Alabama
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles

Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? I have found vanilla sex singularly unsatisfying after all the kinky play I've enjoyed.  But I still enjoy the time I spend with someone I love and sexual and sensual play with her, even if not kinky time or actively doing a scene.  How about you?


could I go back to the cracker barrel after eating at bastide.

it would depend on how hungry I was.


_____________________________

all the good ones are collared or lesbians.

or old.

(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/30/2008 6:11:41 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles

Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? I have found vanilla sex singularly unsatisfying after all the kinky play I've enjoyed.  But I still enjoy the time I spend with someone I love and sexual and sensual play with her, even if not kinky time or actively doing a scene.  How about you?


I've never experienced a personal, intimate relationship that was vanilla. My one long term non-kink relationship was still alternative in that it was a lesbian relationship. The idea that I have some notion, however, of what the future may hold for me does tend to make me giggle.

Bottom line, I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. Could be vanilla rapture or mucking around in the depths of depravity. I'm pretty much game for anything and just appreciate the joy of the ride I'm on.

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/30/2008 6:32:51 PM   
SocialPerversion


Posts: 28
Joined: 3/21/2008
From: Northern Nevada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles
Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer?

Hell no! *shiver* I am still paying my lawyer from my LAST attempt at a vanilla lifestyle!

My girl and I have already discussed it and it is well known that ‘nilla is not an option. I spent a large portion of my adult life trying to play by the rules of the vanilla world and I just found them to be frustrating… If I wanted to play games again then that would be fine, but I don’t.

You can still have non-kink sensual time without having to go vanilla, and I have never heard of someone getting infected with the ‘nilla because they had missionary position sex. From time to time we engage in “loverly” time where the beatings stop and we get all romantic and sensual and… well… loverly… but we still have no desire to go vanilla because of it.

A vanilla relationship is sort of like Tripe, I tried it but found it made me want to vomit.

~~conquer4love~~



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http://www.socialperversion.com
Master Thread Killer, front page to abandoned in one snide remark.

(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 6/30/2008 8:55:25 PM   
SunnyTawse


Posts: 151
Joined: 11/17/2004
Status: offline 		Kinda funny... I posted to another thread today that ever since I have been having orgasms, starting at age 14, I have never had one without thinking or doing bdsm. In my teen years I had vanilla relationships (although never vanilla orgasms), but not since then. And why would I do it again? So that I can go back to imagining it instead of doing it? I'm a kinkster at core.

Sunny
* Happily but hopelessly addicted to kink

(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 60
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