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RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/29/2008 9:44:38 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		Not on a dare. 

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Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/29/2008 9:45:35 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline 		This question always confuses me. How can you go *back* to something you never were to begin with?

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RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/29/2008 9:51:11 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		Well put. I guess the question should be: Could you go back to acting vanilla?

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Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

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Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/29/2008 9:58:13 PM   
Leatherist


Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

Well put. I guess the question should be: Could you go back to acting vanilla?


I'm confused again. I act the way society expects me to act in public. But that is still not "acting vanilla" It's still me, just scaled back..

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My shop is currently segueing into production mode.

I'm not taking custom orders.

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Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/30/2008 2:01:06 AM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline 		LOL Okay, you're going to make me be very clear in my communication, I can accept that. The question should be Could you go back to NOT acting on your BDSM tendencies/nature.

How's that? :-D

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

Well put. I guess the question should be: Could you go back to acting vanilla?


I'm confused again. I act the way society expects me to act in public. But that is still not "acting vanilla" It's still me, just scaled back..


_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to Leatherist)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/30/2008 2:43:44 AM   
silkncarol


Posts: 318
Status: offline 		Well since you've put it like that........

NO i can't not act on my bdsm tendencies.....as i've said, i can do "vanilla" relationships..... but i'm submissive, so no matter the relationship i always bring that aspect of my personality to it...and i'm also open minded, kinky, sexual and uninhibited...i bring that to all my relationships too......but there does reach a point in vanilla where the rough sex, kinkiness just doesn't cut it and i crave the whip, floggers, canes, crops..all the fun toys...by a Man who enjoys hurting me in a delightful way and can lead me out to the edge......


quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

LOL Okay, you're going to make me be very clear in my communication, I can accept that. The question should be Could you go back to NOT acting on your BDSM tendencies/nature.

How's that? :-D

quote:

ORIGINAL: Leatherist

quote:

ORIGINAL: Vancouver_cinful

Well put. I guess the question should be: Could you go back to acting vanilla?


I'm confused again. I act the way society expects me to act in public. But that is still not "acting vanilla" It's still me, just scaled back..



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(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/30/2008 3:06:01 AM   
XaviersXian


Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline 		greetings to all,

Eight years ago, I would have said yes, but now (given my own, independent choice) heck no! A slave is who i am, not just some "weekend coat" i put on, or some label i wear "just because it's cool". 

If Master ordered me to go back to being vanilla, however, I wouldn't like it, but I'd comply without a second thought, because he'd wished it of me.

As it is, Master orders me to act as if i am vanilla around people in general society (and those who don't/can't/won't understand in our circles) but that is as vanilla as it gets for me nowadays.  If I was put in a situation where i had my choice returned to me, I'd seek another M/s relationship, without giving the "why" a second thought.

well wishes,

(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/31/2008 6:59:52 PM   
shiazn03


Posts: 90
Joined: 11/13/2007
Status: offline 		if we're talking about sex and going without play, HELL NO! lol! or rather, it would be my last resort.  i would certainly not prefer vanilla sex over kink.  i'm finding vanilla sex to be VERY unsatisfying now.  gotta have that kinky fix and whatnot, yknow. 

if we're talking about just the relationship, nothing to do with sex and play, then i wouldn't mind it being just vanilla. 

peace out, all!

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 88
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/31/2008 7:04:28 PM   
masterofdrkness2


Posts: 1697
Joined: 3/17/2008
Status: offline 		simple answer.. NO... why? because I don't want to .

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So, so you think you can tell
Heaven from Hell,
Blue skys from pain.
Can you tell a green field
From a cold steel rail?
A smile from a veil?
Do you think you can tell?
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(in reply to shiazn03)
Profile   Post #: 89
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/31/2008 9:37:38 PM   
metalmiss


Posts: 341
Joined: 5/4/2005
From: Croydon, UK
Status: offline 		Fast answer -

Been there..
Done that..
Got the T-Shirt..
Thought i had quit all the "kinky shit"..
Started climbing the walls..
And then..
Found myself back on my knees.

Would i ever try again? ... FUCK NO!!


< Message edited by metalmiss -- 7/31/2008 9:38:19 PM >

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(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 90
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 7/31/2008 10:07:47 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: XaviersXian

greetings to all,

Eight years ago, I would have said yes, but now (given my own, independent choice) heck no! A slave is who i am, not just some "weekend coat" i put on, or some label i wear "just because it's cool". 


I completely understand what you're saying, but I have to disagree a little.  There are people who simply don't have the choice, not a feasible one anyway, of living that way all the time or even very often.  In that case we take what we can get.  It doesn't make us any less of a lifestyler, it simply can't happen a lot for us.  For me, my specific work and very young UMs prohibit it.  It doesn't make it a "weekend coat" or something we do "just because it's cool".  It's just that we do what we can as often as we can, though it's often less often than we would like.

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to XaviersXian)
Profile   Post #: 91
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 8/1/2008 12:06:39 AM   
monywildcat


Posts: 452
Joined: 2/26/2008
Status: offline 		It entirely depends on the situation that I am involved with.  If I had to face a choice, between the kink and the one that I would want nothing more than to be with, share a life with, then I would choose that one.  I can put it away.  I would not be missing a thing.  Of course, if "the one" is able to be open-minded enough to try the kink, then hey icing on the cake. 

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)
Profile   Post #: 92
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 8/1/2008 12:09:19 AM   
ElectraGlide


Posts: 1246
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: Maryland
Status: offline 		I have went back and forth to vanilla over the years. It sucked and I wont go back to vanilla.         

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Profile   Post #: 93
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 8/1/2008 3:41:17 AM   
sillyslaveboy


Posts: 169
Joined: 7/28/2008
Status: offline 		This question is set as for those who first experienced vanilla and then BDSM. Still i will feel free to say a no to vanilla. Tried it, it was just a waste of time.

(in reply to ElectraGlide)
Profile   Post #: 94
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 8/1/2008 3:51:51 AM   
XaviersXian


Posts: 525
Joined: 9/8/2007
From: Australia
Status: offline 		greetings to all,

greetings NakedOnMyChain,

I completely understand what you are saying.  I once had a relationship where the scenario you are describing was my reality.

After that relationship broke up, I deliberately made the choice to not get involved with anyone again, unless I had my need to serve all day, every day met.

I didn't mean to offend anyone with my comments.  I apologise if I did.

well wishes,

(in reply to NakedOnMyChain)
Profile   Post #: 95
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 8/1/2008 8:32:11 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline 		Greetings!  I'm not offended at all.  I just saw something I felt I had a valid response to, and thought I'd share my point of view.

If it ever came to it, and I found myself in a different situation, I would probably choose as you have, to pursue the lifestyle more in-depth.  Hopefully it won't come to it.  *grin*  I love my husband ('nilla streak and all), and I really have a great thing going.  If not being able to play as often as I'd like, or participate in public events and other aspects of the lifestyle quite as fully as I'd like, is the worst thing that happens to me, I've lived a very good and fulfilling life.   

I'll always strive to find more of that dynamic within WIITID, but I'm content with what I have.  Play parties every month or two, and my best friends being kinksters too, constant discussion of and growth in the lifestyle, learning all I can, and good communication and deep love in my marital relationship keeps the edge off.  Would I play more if I could?  Sure!  Would I pursue this 24/7?  I'd definitely think seriously about it.  Do I desire more of that dynamic?  Of course!  Am I happy the way I am right now?  Heck yes!

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to XaviersXian)
Profile   Post #: 96
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 8/1/2008 9:30:15 PM   
Surrenderwithin


Posts: 368
Joined: 10/8/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ponyboyachilles

Could you ever go back to vanilla after experiencing what BDSM has to offer? I have found vanilla sex singularly unsatisfying after all the kinky play I've enjoyed.  But I still enjoy the time I spend with someone I love and sexual and sensual play with her, even if not kinky time or actively doing a scene.  How about you?


I can live without the SM aspect. I can live without the D aspect. I do not think I could survive and prosper without having someone, whom I love, to be of service to.

There was a time not so long ago that I would have answered this with a resounding no. However, tonight, I am not so sure that I couldnt. Then again.... If I could stop being a slave I would. I cannot it is just who and what I am....

(in reply to ponyboyachilles)
Profile   Post #: 97
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 8/1/2008 10:23:18 PM   
ViciousCycle


Posts: 8
Joined: 4/15/2008
Status: offline 		My relationships tend to run deeply regardless of the format. Potency can be found in the most unlikely moments. I find it is not so much what I do...but it is how it is done. HOH is probably the best crossover format to live simultaneously in the deepest of vanillas possible. It's all about energy. So, no. I could never go back to a non power(energy) exchange relationship. I rather like the addiction to clarity.

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 98
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 8/2/2008 10:02:01 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Sometimes I like vanilla ice cream if it's really really good stuff.  There truly is no "them" or "us".  We are all vanilla and not vanilla as well.  What choices we make is the real question.  For me it's not "going back" to anything to make a choice to be with a partner that isn't kinky, it's merely balancing my life in a different direction at that time. 

(And no, I haven't sold out, I'm still a dirty girl and freak with an attitude, I have just been busy doing different things.  I hope all is well with all of you.)


_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Profile   Post #: 99
RE: Could you ever go back to vanilla... - 8/2/2008 10:08:12 AM   
kessbm45lilgirl


Posts: 8
Joined: 6/7/2008
Status: offline 		I think to be truly happy you have to have a balance between public and private life and to blend the two into one. I do not think we ever "leave" nilla because we have to work. Its like smoking smokers have the right to smoke they just dont have to right to flaut it in the face of non smokers. We all have a right for the lifestyle we choose to live, however we do not have the right to force our view on others anymore than they have the right to force theirs on us. Its all about balance. I discuss my life choice with my non life friends but just not to the extent I do with my lifestyle friends as they would not understand. would I ever choose all of one or the other? no I would not

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 100
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