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Attraction - 6/29/2008 6:28:48 AM

barbiegirl1974

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Joined: 6/29/2008
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How important is physical attraction when it comes to you and your Master? I am in the process of being trained by the most thoughtful, strict and experienced Master I have ever met. I feel so lucky that this man wants to accept every part of who I am, faults and all. Yet, there are a few things about him physically that I am not attracted too.... Can one move beyond this?

Post #: 1

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 6:32:28 AM

came4U

Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
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Yes, in that regard (to me), submission is blind.

You can (for the right man and situation) remove notice of the negatives when in the right hands.

(in reply to barbiegirl1974)

Post #: 2

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 6:32:51 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
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Physical attraction is a must for me and the first filter. If I like how they look then I move on to other factors such as intelligence, personality, kink, etc. to see if we gel.

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Post #: 3

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 6:38:52 AM

Lumus

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Ask Rain. I'm butt-ugly.

~UggoDommo

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Post #: 4

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 7:00:37 AM

colouredin

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Hmmm well photos do lie :P

It depends, I have started relationships with people im not physically into that much, but yeah it normally becomes a huge problem and the relationship ends, when someone tells you to suck their cock which is under their over hanging belly which is rippled with stretchmarks and the said cock smells vaguely of cheese and can fit easily into the front part of my mouth i dont do it so keenly as when I look at someone and get shivers, shocking that.

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Post #: 5

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 7:03:26 AM

BRNaughtyAngel

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I'd ask you to look at what you wrote - that he is an amazing man who has accepted you, faults and all. Yet you are having difficulty in accepting him, because of superficial things.

Now I understand completely about physical attraction. I need to be physically attracted to someone to be in a relationship with them. However, I've also noted that for many people, once we know someone and have that emotional and mental bond with them, we see them in a different light, because we start to see them through our heart.

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Post #: 6

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 7:05:42 AM

Quivver

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Good question ...
Honestly I think for Me that it would depend a lot on what the relationship was intended to be.
I say that only because back in the Nilla world a relationship with one I did not find attractive was difficult for Me to provide the sexual gratification He should have gotten. (simplistic, but a base issue) ... on the other hand had that relationship provided Me with the ability to offer and have submission recognized it may have worked dispise the lack of physical attractiveness.

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Post #: 7

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 7:06:25 AM

colouredin

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quote:

ORIGINAL: BRNaughtyAngel
However, I've also noted that for many people, once we know someone and have that emotional and mental bond with them, we see them in a different light, because we start to see them through our heart.

Im the opposite, I fly into relationships become all consumed, carsy about them, then I start to notice that actually they are a bit gross and those things become bigger and bigger and wont go away, maybe im just odd

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Resident Lime(y) Tart
There would be no gossip without secrets
I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ELvfMJoKDAk

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Post #: 8

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 7:19:17 AM

subenigmatic

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Joined: 6/25/2008
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[/quote]

Im the opposite, I fly into relationships become all consumed, carsy about them, then I start to notice that actually they are a bit gross and those things become bigger and bigger and wont go away, maybe im just odd
[/quote]

Oh my gosh- if you're odd, then I'm odd- I do the exact same thing and then in retrospect you're going 'what the hell was I thinking?!'

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Post #: 9

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 7:25:07 AM

AmbrosialWench

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Joined: 10/2/2007
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I have met people I am not attracted to physically on the first meeting. However, I enjoyed their personality and gave a second and in one case a third chance. It is possible to change your initial attraction for someone. However if you are in a relationship now of a few weeks and your partners non physical traits have not out weighed you visual, then you will probably not ever desire him and his physical traits will slowly become a problem.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 10

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 7:33:10 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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From a personal perspective, I need to find a man attractive if I want to have any kind of emotional relationship with him, whether vanilla or D/s. I take my time to find someone who I find physically, emotionally and mentally attractive. He doesn't need to be a muscled Norse god, there just needs to be something about him that makes me think 'wow'. I'm not perfect either, and I'm not looking for perfect. But that 'wow' needs to be there, and so far I've managed to find it.

You say there are a few physical aspects of him that you are 'not attracted to' - this is quite an ambiguous phrase. It's the difference between not liking it but being able to largely ignore it, and not liking it and finding it increasingly repulsive. Only you can decide...

Good luck with your decision!

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Post #: 11

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 8:17:52 AM

MetalCouple

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Joined: 6/26/2008
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barbie, if you can't respect him, move on. Attraction is part of it, sorry. How can you serve someone that you think is unattractive, etc. I understand its Iowa and that these slaves should be happy they aren't being forced to do livestock, but goodness, I am sure there are strong sexy men you can respect.

(in reply to barbiegirl1974)

Post #: 12

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 8:34:49 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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For me it's pretty darn important.

I'd say in your case it's worth continuing on a few dates to see if things grow to a point where the physical issues become non-issues and there is more to compensate. I mean hey you've already decided he's great enough to train you so it can't be that big a deal (unless you made your choice hastily based on lust rather than actual responsible decision making)

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Post #: 13

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 8:46:29 AM

NeedingMore220

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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Hmmm well photos do lie :P

It depends, I have started relationships with people im not physically into that much, but yeah it normally becomes a huge problem and the relationship ends, when someone tells you to suck their cock which is under their over hanging belly which is rippled with stretchmarks and the said cock smells vaguely of cheese and can fit easily into the front part of my mouth i dont do it so keenly as when I look at someone and get shivers, shocking that.

Ooh, ick, hun ... it's too early for that image.

(in reply to colouredin)

Post #: 14

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 8:50:45 AM

NeedingMore220

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How do you feel about his overall appearance? Can you get past the few things you aren't attracted to? Are you genuinely repulsed or simply not turned on? Only you can answer this question. I do find, in general, that I need to be physically attracted to my Dom. For me, some things can be overlooked because of the mental and intellectual connection we have, but there has to be some basis for physical attraction.

(in reply to barbiegirl1974)

Post #: 15

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 9:56:37 AM

kiwisub12

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Joined: 1/11/2006
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My Sir is an old coot. When i first met him that is exactly what i thought - and i didn't like his glasses.
My second thought was that i could change the glasses.

I have been with him for over 2 years, and i love the way he looks. He still is an old coot, and looks like Father Christmas - but who he is is what i love, not necessarily how he looks, and if i am so obsessed with how he looks then shame on me. I would have missed a chance at a life that i love - and a man who is everything that i could have desired.
In the end looks have little to do with our relationship.

and yes - he has new glasses - hehe.

you need to decide wheither or not you can live with the physical things, if you are getting your needs met.

(in reply to NeedingMore220)

Post #: 16

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 9:57:42 AM

kiwisub12

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Joined: 1/11/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: kiwisub12

My Sir is an old coot. When i first met him that is exactly what i thought - and i didn't like his glasses.
My second thought was that i could change the glasses.

I have been with him for over 2 years, and i love the way he looks. He still is an old coot, and looks like Father Christmas - but who he is is what i love, not necessarily how he looks, and if i am so obsessed with how he looks then shame on me. I would have missed a chance at a life that i love - and a man who is everything that i could have desired.
In the end looks have little to do with our relationship.

and yes - he has new glasses - hehe.

you need to decide wheither or not you can live with the physical things, if you are getting your needs met.

and now, my heart leaps when i see him!
edited to add last line.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Post #: 17

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 9:58:17 AM

Lynnxz

Posts: 4813
Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin

Hmmm well photos do lie :P

It depends, I have started relationships with people im not physically into that much, but yeah it normally becomes a huge problem and the relationship ends, when someone tells you to suck their cock which is under their over hanging belly which is rippled with stretchmarks and the said cock smells vaguely of cheese and can fit easily into the front part of my mouth i dont do it so keenly as when I look at someone and get shivers, shocking that.

>.<

O god... thanks for THAT...

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Post #: 18

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 10:14:14 AM

RedMagic1

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Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: colouredin
the said cock smells vaguely of cheese

You promised you'd never tell anyone about that!

Lying bitch.

I feel so empty and exposed. I'm going to wander around the boards to find someone to belittle now.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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Post #: 19

RE: Attraction - 6/29/2008 10:16:57 AM

Aynne

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Joined: 1/25/2008
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Superficial as it sounds I definitely must have a physical attraction to enter into an initial relationship. If that is what you need to get turned on and feel submissive, dont let anyone tell you it is shallow. Besides what is hot for you may be unattractive to another woman. If you put pretty boy Brad Pitt or scruffy wierd Adrian Brody in front of me, I will take Adrian every time. So it is just a matterof personal preference anyway.

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I looked in your eyes
Without saying a word
I told you what I am
And I hoped that you heard

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*founder of I Love Lushy Inc.*

(in reply to Lynnxz)

Post #: 20

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