RE: Training: Worthwhile or good way to take advantage of the naive?

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All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Training: Worthwhile or good way to take advantage of the naive?

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RE: Training: Worthwhile or good way to take advantage ... - 7/1/2008 8:44:20 AM

Constrictor1

Posts: 143
Joined: 6/29/2006
From: Constrictor1
Status: offline

katie978,
Not everyone who trains/mentor /teaches is a fucktard. Let's try adding adding the idea/word -ethical - to the conversation in an attempt seperate the school of intelligent, informed, and disciplined people who actually try to educate versus the school of unethical , say anything to get their dick wet/ pussy licked crowd of horny net geeks. I have seen both in action. One teaches growth the other mistrust.

Constrictor1

(in reply to katie978)

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Post #: 41

RE: Training: Worthwhile or good way to take advantage ... - 7/2/2008 3:19:47 AM

Ialdabaoth

Posts: 1073
Joined: 5/4/2008
From: Tempe, AZ
Status: offline

Check in from a "trainer":

- I don't train people in submission. That's too subjective and personal, and has to be worked out between each sub and Dom.
- I don't train people in masochism. You either like pain or you don't; no "training" is going to change your preferences.
- I don't train people in bottoming. All you need to know how to bottom is good listening skills and a desire to follow instructions, neither of which can be "trained".

What I train people in is physical prowess. I train people in poise and balance. I train people in muscle tone and flexibility. I train people in endurance and stamina. Everything I train could be just as easily learned by fitness instructors, but I do it in a BDSM-charged context, and I do it for free because I'm getting something out of it myself.

(in reply to KatyLied)

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Post #: 42

RE: Training: Worthwhile or good way to take advantage ... - 7/2/2008 3:34:52 AM

girlygurl

Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline

I don't understand the "in training" thing. I'm training to be a body builder.. yes, I can understand that. I'm training to be a submissive.... no, it just doesn't make sense to me. How about it's just the beginning of a relationship much like any other, it either works or it doesn't, only time will tell.

Katie, I'm not saying this isn't something that can't work, I'm just saying it wouldn't work for me. Just be careful with those you chose to trust.

girly

_____________________________

i see You

happily forever one

(in reply to Ialdabaoth)

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Post #: 43

RE: Training: Worthwhile or good way to take advantage ... - 7/2/2008 1:33:18 PM

BBWnNC72

Posts: 1155
Joined: 6/22/2007
From: NC since Jan of 2007, but born and raised in Cali
Status: offline

From personal experience.
When i started to explore my submissive side, i went into what some would call "sub frenzy", i ended up in a very bad play session. i friend of mine recommended a trainer. i found one. At first it started out to see if we would be compatable long term, neither of us thought so. So, He began training me, not on how to please one type of Dominant, but mostly the general things and acts. i didn't know alot about bdsm activities and He showed me, ie: knife play, breath play, different types of spanking impliments, face slapping, etc. Some i liked some i didn't. He also taught me general safety ie: safe words/motions, choosing a playmate, how to go about meeting a potential playmate/partner, how to avoid the mistakes i had already made, etc. He taught me how to communicate my thoughts, desires, needs, dislikes, and wants. He helped me learn how open up to be me and not to be ashamed of who i was. He taught me that i do not have to just accept someone because they want me too, He taught me to be able to choose myself who would be best for me. Most of all, He taught me to respect myself for who i am and that i am worth it. What He didn't teach me was how to be submissive, that was already there.
i don't think that all trainers are out to harm, hurt, or just use that new person for their own personal gain.

In the end, it turned out that we where what each other wanted, not only for what we had to offer each other bdsm or D/s wise, but also for who we are as a whole.

< Message edited by BBWnNC72 -- 7/2/2008 1:34:49 PM >

_____________________________

huggs and purrs
Brian's kat
a.k.a. "greedy monkey"
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
i am who i am, i am not ashamed. spank me, beat me, bite me, pull my hair, dominate me, control me, but always respect me for who i am.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

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Post #: 44