RE: The "B" in BDSM

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:20:35 PM

Lynnxz

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What I've noticed is some tops get bored with the the time it takes to put someone in bondage- true, practice makes perfect, but when you're all worked up, that's the last thing on their mind, and some people don't have someone who can patently sit there and take all the different positions, and being crammed into wrong ones for hours at a time.

Some people are just plain uncreative, and when given rope... have no idea where to even start. They think leather takes too long, and metal is just out of the question. It's not for them, and that's all good.

I like rope for it's flexibility, and how it hugs me, but I like metal because there's no way in hell I'm escaping a steel pipe thats bolted to the floor. *purrr* Having all your weight supported by 2 inches in the center of your lower back? All kinds of wtf and love.

It's just a matter of finding someone who clicks with you- although I would agree with the scene thing. Lots of posturing and peacocking.

< Message edited by Lynnxz -- 6/29/2008 9:25:26 PM >

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:23:31 PM

Leatherist

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I dunno. There's just something about binding a girl with her legs together,arms at sides......ropes around under the bed at her shoulders and ankles.....tight, no room to squirm.

Face down, ass up.

You run your hands over her, stroking...............then your nails. Red welts rise. Twist your hand in the hair at the nape of her neck. Hard, almost enough to pull some out. Watch her hips start that arousal squirming. Slip a greased middle finger up her asshole. Then a plug. Fuck it in centimeter by centimeter. Then pull up the loose rope end lying over one thigh-up between her legs tight. Under the rope going round her waist-tug in in hard. Hear the gasp as it wraps up between her labia. Watch it seat the plug her ass is trying to push out. Tie it off.

Sit back and admire the view. You can tickle her feet. She can't kick. Can't cover the soles, turn them under. Spank her,the plug bounces in her sphichter-fucking her at the same time.

It's very interesting. I wonder why more people don't bother-uncreative?

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:30:26 PM

WhatUrSeeking

Posts: 49
Joined: 6/28/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

One of the things I personally find a little odd -- admittedly as a person with relatively little experience in the BDSM scene -- is that there often seems to be relatively little bondage in it. At least, the dommes I have played with seem to generally use it rather minimally, and there hasn't been a whole lot at the play parties I have been to (which have mostly been femdom-oriented).

I personally really enjoy being bound, and would like to experience a lot more of it, in frequency, variety, and duration. I don't necessarily even have to have much done to me while bound; just the experience would be enough. (Though being at least mildly teased and tormented in certainly a nice addition.)

It seems like almost a niche kind of thing, with most people much more into things like flogging. Aside from perhaps the shibari fans. And understandably, they seem to strongly prefer female victims/models. Were I female and twenty or twenty-five years younger, my ambition would be to model for the House of Gord site...oh. my. god.

So, am I kind of out there on this one? Or am I just finding the wrong people, or the wrong circumstances? Or is it more of a male dom thing? Just curious what others have experienced.

You are right about the Shibari fans loving bondage statistically the D is more likely male and an s is more likely female, but it is close. According to the study I read almost 65% of women that associate with BDSM consider themselves primarily submissives. This was almost an exact inverse. A little over 40% of males that are into BDSM identify themselves as primarily submissives. Therefore yes women subs are in more demand but then there is a lower supply of male subs. The laws of supply and demand say you should be just fine. Most of the shibari porn pics are female, but that does not mean that this is the same in private. Men like porn more than women do. The majority of men are hetero, so it makes sense that most porn picks, including shibari, focus on female models.

Anyway I would highly recommend Shibaricon in Chicago in March. This is an annual weekend convention centered around rope bondage. Mostly shibari style but also western rope bondage. Everyone there is a bondage enthusiast. It rocks. I took a submissive with me in 2007 and will likely go again next year. You would do better to find a Domme to take you, but it really is not necessary. At a minimum you will get tied into the right network of people and learn some cool stuff. There will certainly be some singles with rope and no one to tie. The only thing is that they might not be your ideal partner.

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Post #: 23

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:32:19 PM

Lynnxz

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Joined: 10/3/2006
From: Atlanta
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O.O

Damnit Leatherist!!

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:33:26 PM

RedMagic1

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I have a theory, but not enough observation to know for sure.

Theory: the people into bondage for bondage were on that track before puberty. My friend C used to have Ken tie up Barbie, and set up all the stuffed animals to watch this happening. Public bondage & humiliation scene. She was 8 years old, well before menstruation. It gets down to whether the bondage is part of s-e-x, or if it's something allied but different. For example, is the Top able to just bind you, or does he have to cop a feel?

In my own case, I don't cop feels -- ever -- but hell yeah, I enjoy feeling women up. So I try to hang with a lady who enjoys me "taking advantage" of her while the other stuff is going on, too.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:34:49 PM

Missokyst

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You are living on the wrong side of the state. I have two or three female dom/tops up here who are bondage wizards.
Kyst

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 9:55:56 PM

Leatherist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lynnxz

O.O

Damnit Leatherist!!

What?

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/29/2008 11:22:24 PM

candystripper

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I like light bondage very, very much. I'm careful though about who and when I allow someone to tie me up. I don't think its much different for men. Once you've been restrained in some way, you are 'at the mercy' of whomever you are playing with. Not everyone in D/s is well-balanced, and the nutjobs are not tattooed to distinquish them from normal people -- more's the pity.

I can't help you 'get' what you want from a Domme; I'm not even sure what exactly you're doing. Attending play parties? Dungeons? Hoping to find a stranger who will fulfill your fantasises in these venues seems like a crap shoot to me, but hey, what do I know.

Best wishes.

candytripper

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Post #: 28

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 2:10:05 AM

DarkVictory

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I love bondage. I love... love to restrain a beautiful naked woman. Jesus. My current preference is steel chain, locking rings, wrench tightened d-rings, all stuff that she just cant fucking get out of, no matter how strong or motivated she is. Lots of rope has too much give to it. Houdini wrote a long explanation once on how he got out of rope, and it basically came down to working your muscles steadily against the give of the rope to create slack, and then working that slack into the right place. I don't want my victi.... subjects escaping my tender mercies, so I have tended to go with steel.

But, I do admit that I am attracted to rope. I own a few hundred meters of lovely hemp, in 6mm and 8mm, and I use it when I feel more 'fluffy'. It feels good in the hand, and is warmer than the steel. What I haven't gotten into is decorative work or shibari. The next time I have a long period of free time, I may well get around to learning about it. Suspension looks fun, but I am leery of breaking my women by dropping them onto concrete.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 3:38:33 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory
Suspension looks fun, but I am leery of breaking my women by dropping them onto concrete.

The main danger is having the rope constrict and squish their insides. In the class I just took, there were two different models demo'ed in two different ties. Both times, the Top demonstrated how they wouldn't fall even if swung about. So location of the ropes, and type of wrap and knot, are the issue. It's definitely a learn-from-people-not-from-books thing.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 4:39:11 AM

missturbation

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Personally i'm not into fluffy bondage where the whole point is to be made to look pretty. It does jack shit for me.
I do love being restrained to be beaten though no matter what is used. Rope, cuffs, steel its all good. I mostly prefer being told not to move a muscle though, as i do find this very hard when being given a bad beating.

I see plenty of bondage when out and about, most people i have seen restrain before beating in the clubs i have frequented.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 5:23:18 AM

Domin8tingUrDrmz

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~FR

I LOVE rope! I love it for many reasons, it's versatile, light weight, it can restrain someone very effectively, it can be used for suspension, and it is beautiful when done artistically. Rope can be administered with love and tenderness, or it can be a sadists or masochists dream come true. Most people I talk to don't want to be tied up, due to the time involved, they'd rather be bound with leather. Not that leather doesn't have its own uses, but rope, for me, is creative bliss.

I still have a lot to learn about rope, but fortunately for me there are two places relatively nearby that specialize in rope bondage

.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 5:41:54 AM

mistoferin

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You may want to do some checking around to see if there is a rope group in your area. You won't find as much rope stuff going on at your local monthly or bi-monthly play party. The reason for that is mostly about time constraints. Generally there is a time limit on how long you have access to a play station....and rope takes time. If you are doing intricate rope bondage your time limit may well be up before you even begin to actually play. That's the reason you more often see the cuffs coming out. Sir loves rope...but we use it a lot more at home than we do in public and even when we do use rope in public the ties are far less intricate than what we do here at home. But that's ok...even if we attend a public party once a week, that still means that the vast majority of our play is done at home so it leaves room for lots of rope opportunity.

The other reason I think, although I am not sure that everyone who plays with rope does it the same way....our rope scenes tend to lead to far more intimate forms of play than what is generally allowable in public.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 6:23:12 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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As far as I can tell there are s & m types and then there are us few, proud, bondage freaks

Bondage types are into the bondage for its own sake, not to hold people in place while they hit them. For us, the rope by itself is sufficient and the time it takes to tie is part of the scene. Quick bondage, meaning cable ties or leather cuffs, would remove that slow descent into submissive headspace where I become pliable, slow moving as though through water, moving this way or that completely at his will. The feel of the rope on my body is intensely sexual.

It isn't a means to an end, it is the end in itself.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 6:27:10 AM

DominantJenny

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FR

I admit that I find pretty bondage to be boring. For function, I prefer quick and easy...and generally prefer the honor system, because, basically, I don't like taking the time to release him when I want him to be doing instead of being done to. I tend to go fast and hard and find bondage to be mostly incompatible with that.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 6:35:50 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
It isn't a means to an end, it is the end in itself.

If I may: which came first for you, puberty, or interest in bondage?

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- 15th century Aztec

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 7:07:39 AM

happypervert

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From: Scranton, PA
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Lumus

The rope, like the truth, is out there. You're bound to run into it.

HA! Nice pun . . . though without a smiley face or something I suspect it was an accident.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 7:19:52 AM

pompeii

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For me, the erotic restraint is an integral part of the overall experience. So is her obedience and submissiveness. It's more EROS than BDSM..

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 7:28:03 AM

Venatrix

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FR - I make it clear in my profile that bondage is my absolute favourite activity, and I have no problem doing it in a public play space. I think the OP just needs to keep looking for a woman who shares his interest. In reference to the "pretty rope" discussion, all I want to do is get my darling boy tied up for my use as quickly as possible. I prefer to oooh and ahhh over the welts I've left, not my fancy rope bondage.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 7:43:02 AM

EvilKitty

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

As far as I can tell there are s & m types and then there are us few, proud, bondage freaks

Bondage types are into the bondage for its own sake, not to hold people in place while they hit them. For us, the rope by itself is sufficient and the time it takes to tie is part of the scene. Quick bondage, meaning cable ties or leather cuffs, would remove that slow descent into submissive headspace where I become pliable, slow moving as though through water, moving this way or that completely at his will. The feel of the rope on my body is intensely sexual.

It isn't a means to an end, it is the end in itself.

Not sure if I'd be classified as a bondage type, but I do like a sub immobilized to some degree when I play. If time is tight, I carry 2 pairs of leather cuffs in the bag (made 'em myself) & just hook them up. If I'm feeling like making pretty or if I'm playing with my own sub who adores rope bondage, I'll do elaborate ropework until I'm satisfied. I have some lovely hand-dyed ropes I bought at FetishCon. I also carry some cute, purple, cheap, hardware-store rope in 30foot lengths. I'll use this at parties, maybe with a sub I'm playing with casually. Pretty isn't my object, though I'm artist enough to want to make it symetrical. I'm aiming for restriction of movement & wrist & ankle cuffs ain't gonna do it. Sometimes I'm gonna have to cut them out & I'd rather it not be my good stuff! CBT is more fun for me if they can't twitch much!

So is tickling!

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