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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 8:01:20 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP
It isn't a means to an end, it is the end in itself.

If I may: which came first for you, puberty, or interest in bondage?

Damned if I know but I hit puberty the year I hit double digits, Meditteranean background causes early onset. What I do remember is watching Snidely Whiplash tie Nell to the railroad tracks with intense interest. The train part, uninteresting, but the being tied, squirming while he got excited is what got to me.

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Post #: 41

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 8:04:55 AM

SunNMoon

Posts: 1058
Joined: 3/18/2007
Status: offline

fr
I'm a bondage freak. I'm not so much into rope yet, I know enough that I need to learn about it before I start doing any major rope work. Plus my favorite part is the tied up part. Just makes me all warm and fuzzy.

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Post #: 42

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 9:18:07 AM

ViceVersa

Posts: 137
Joined: 11/29/2005
Status: offline

Hi pinnipedster,

Yes, I noticed the same thing in the local groups here and for many of the reasons people have mentioned:

- Bondage takes longer to get going (although it doesn't have to)

- Bondage seems to lack the drama of flogging, single-tailing, fireplay, violet wands, etc. (although it doesn't have to)

- Bondage - especially rope bondage or mummification - requires some knowledge, skill and practice and some dominants may not have the patience for it or may be intimidated by it or worry that they'll "lose face" if the person gets away.

- Bondage has lots of different motivations - some of which may not even require another partner once you're bound (this does not mean that I endorse leaving the bottom by themselves). Most other forms of play - by necessity - require ongoing interaction. It can be complicated to match up the motivations.

- And because it doesn't happen as often at a party, people aren't exposed to it as much, don't understand it as much and are then less likely to engage in it. It's a vicious circle.

So...I started my own group: Carolina Order of Rope Devotees (see below). It took several months to get it going - mostly getting the word out and finding the right day and time - but now I'm pretty consistently getting 20+ folks to attend. And it's drawing folks who don't tend to show up at the other events because bondage is their thang and they weren't finding it. If you build it, they will come.

Good luck!

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Post #: 43

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 10:20:28 AM

softness

Posts: 2918
Joined: 8/1/2006
From: Leeds, UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkVictory

I don't want my victi.... subjects escaping my tender mercies, so I have tended to go with steel.

Suspension looks fun, but I am leery of breaking my women by dropping them onto concrete.

its posts like those ... that make me feel so fluffy and secure ...

and there is something oddly comforting about truly secure bondage ... because (crazy as this sounds) once you know you can't escape, all the emotional and physical energy you were wasting on trying to get out .. can now be diverted to just surving the scene

plus .. I get kinda hot for the feeling of having fruitlessly exhausted myself trying to escape .. and no longer having the energy to fight .. even if untied .. just being a broken .. exhausted hunk of meat

am a sicko .. and I love it

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(in reply to DarkVictory)

Post #: 44

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 12:31:05 PM

Prinsexx

Posts: 4584
Joined: 8/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

I personally really enjoy being bound, and would like to experience a lot more of it, in frequency, variety, and duration.

Try being bound without ropes.
For example:

~Should you lose the keys to those real handcuffs you're going to have to call the cops to help you. You think they won't talk? Think again. By the end of the night, every cop in the county will have heard about your sexual escapade as well as every hilarious detail. Don't become a punch line, keep track of those keys! But why bother with restraints, at all? Mental bondage might be right up your alley. "No matter how good this feels don't move an inch or I'll stop.~ From: http://media.www.studentprintz.com/media/storage/paper9
74/news/2007/02/22/Opinion/Pillow.Talk.Bdsm.A.Gentle.Firm.I
ntroduction-2734368.shtml

~You can also try mental bondage, which might include putting yourself in a cage, closet, or other confined place for a certain amount of time (Don't lock yourself in). If you are able to do so, you can also prevent yourself from moving around, perhaps committing two hours to your bed without leaving. Of course you can integrate some of the self-inflicted BDSM during this time. Practices like yoga can also be seen as a form of self-bondage as you hold a particular position for what can be long periods of time.~ From: http://www.sensuoussadie.com/sadiescolumns/autoerotica/auto
erotica.htm

or~Although many BDSM-lifestylers enjoy kinks such as bondage, discipline, and sadism in their sex life, BDSM is primarily emotional rather than physical because of the deep levels of trust that are required, the profound emotional attachments that usually occur, and the complete surrendering of power to another person.~
from http://everything2.com/e2node/BDSM%2520-%2520Not%2520
Just%2520Kinky%2520Sex

Or just be a masochist as it’s akin to being in mental bondage pretty mush all of the time. (IMHO)

< Message edited by Prinsexx -- 6/30/2008 12:33:25 PM >

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(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 45

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 1:53:35 PM

Lumus

Posts: 5968
Joined: 9/16/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

HA! Nice pun . . . though without a smiley face or something I suspect it was an accident.

No, no, it was intentional...I figured the smiley face would make it too obvious. [It gave Rain an eye-roll and a giggle at the time...]

Cheers!

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Post #: 46

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 2:03:59 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

...you know, rope is good and there is a lot of it out there. You must have just been on the bad side of the hit & miss ratio.

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Post #: 47

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 8:10:31 PM

MercTech

Posts: 3706
Joined: 7/4/2006
Status: offline

Oh, don't forget Shibari... lots of fun and a good creative outlet. <grin>

Stefan

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 48

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 8:35:36 PM

WhatUrSeeking

Posts: 49
Joined: 6/28/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pompeii

For me, the erotic restraint is an integral part of the overall experience. So is her obedience and submissiveness. It's more EROS than BDSM..

True rope bondage can be one of the most erotic forms of BDSM. People talk about it being pretty but for me that is not the point unless I am going to mix it with photography. Fast rough and hard is better with metal handcuffs. Prolonged, erotic, and sensual is best with rope.

(in reply to pompeii)

Post #: 49

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 8:47:58 PM

SaraZeal

Posts: 144
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline

I got interested in bondage as a kid, and puberty was pretty late for me. So yeah, I fit the theory that it's pre-pubertal.

(in reply to WhatUrSeeking)

Post #: 50

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 8:49:44 PM

pinnipedster

Posts: 217
Joined: 4/17/2008
Status: offline

Don't get me wrong, I am not disparaging play without bondage. I believe that some Dominants like the feeling of power they get when tormenting an *unbound* submissive, who in theory could run away, but stays and takes it.

I personally prefer to be bound when tortured, because I like at least the illusion of not being able to stop what's happening (even knowing I actually could do so by safewording), aside from just enjoying being bound in the first place. The helplessness and vulnerability....I don't know. And it can stop or minimize some more-or-less involuntary movement too. And I think it does help me to focus on the sensations rather than having to concentrate on holding still. (Of course, the Domme in question may be more interested in seeing if I can hold still despite what she's doing...)

I also enjoy objectification, and would enjoy being turned into a piece of human furniture or art for an extended period.

Well, anyhow, I will keep looking. Looks like a profile rewrite may be in order again, too. :)

< Message edited by pinnipedster -- 6/30/2008 9:00:50 PM >

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Post #: 51

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 11:02:06 PM

wolf3

Posts: 6
Joined: 9/13/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster

(I've also posted in a personal ad that I would love to meet a "kinky, geeky girl" who would enjoy playing video games with me one night -- then the next night tying me up on the floor and using me to keep her feet warm while she played video games by herself....ah well. ;))

Don't we all, don't we all

It always seems to me that more girls are interested in being dominated then the reverse, if anything, and finding a geeky one to boot... :)

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 52

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 11:35:41 PM

summersprite

Posts: 101
Joined: 4/3/2008
Status: offline

I love standing there, while my Sir takes a long piece of rope and start to wind it around me.... He starts with my tits but that rope can end up around me anywhere....I have to turn, step out of the loops, I watch His face, in total concentration..... and then, He takes a leash, attaches it to my collar... and leads me, while bound..... and I would follow Him anywhere by then..... ;-)

(in reply to ResidentSadist)

Post #: 53

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 6/30/2008 11:51:22 PM

roughleather

Posts: 232
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline

In the SF scene, I see elaborate rope bondage all the time. It's "erotic macrame"; one seldom sees a sub struggling against the elaborate rope work.

(in reply to pinnipedster)

Post #: 54

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 6:59:58 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

The question of mental bondage has arisen. For me, it's just no good. If I'm focusing on not moving then I'm not focusing on what he's doing. And what he does is then an intrusion, an annoyance, not something I can relax into. Plus if it's painful I can't take much at all and if it's meant to be arousing, I can't enjoy it. So that stand here and don't move becomes really an exercise in how long I can stand in a weird position before my arms hurt or my leg cramps which is not the purpose of it for us.

Other people?

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Post #: 55

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 7:51:26 AM

pompeii

Posts: 934
Joined: 1/4/2007
From: Silicon Valley, San Jose, California
Status: offline

Scarlett's idea is intriguing ... tying a gal up .... and leaving her there ..... on the bed ...... alone ...... quiet ....... safe ......secure ......and available.

(in reply to scarlettjinx)

Post #: 56

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 7:55:42 AM

Leatherist

Posts: 5149
Joined: 12/11/2007
Status: offline

Shibari is definitely fun, and I am looking forward to getting some more practice in with a friend in a couple of days.

Life is good!

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Post #: 57

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 12:25:01 PM

ForgeDesire

Posts: 30
Joined: 4/1/2007
Status: offline

Always loved bondage first. Definitely before puberty.

I would try to trick my friends into tying me up at a very young age by leaving rope or handcuffs where they could find them easily in my room. I had real sets of handcuffs at a young age as well, and all through school at various times had people tying me up it was great.

I'm with the original poster as I like it for long periods too.

(in reply to Leatherist)

Post #: 58

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 1:11:44 PM

Cuffkinks

Posts: 1780
Joined: 5/5/2004
Status: offline

Major bondage fan here.
I always liked "damsel in distress" scenarios. Still do. I tied up My first woman at the tender age of 17. I was dating a wonderful 25 year old nymphomaniac who was up for, and down with...anything.
The sight of the female form bound...LOVELY!!!
While I was always into bondage, I never really took the time to appreciate the art of it. When My little girl and I discussed Shibari a little over a year ago, I decided to learn a bit about it. I read a few books (The usual...Midori, Jay Weisman) and learned a few things. When I tried them out on My little girl and saw the effect it had on her, it was amazing. She went into a beautiful, peaceful, secure headspace. (Her words.)
I still use cuffs, scarves, etc. But I'll never forget that first time seeing the effect that rope had on her. That's good stuff!

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Post #: 59

RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 3:09:17 PM

EvilKitty

Posts: 148
Joined: 7/13/2006
From: Tampa Florida
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

The question of mental bondage has arisen. For me, it's just no good. If I'm focusing on not moving then I'm not focusing on what he's doing. And what he does is then an intrusion, an annoyance, not something I can relax into. Plus if it's painful I can't take much at all and if it's meant to be arousing, I can't enjoy it. So that stand here and don't move becomes really an exercise in how long I can stand in a weird position before my arms hurt or my leg cramps which is not the purpose of it for us.

Other people?

The only "mental" bondage I can remember doing in recent memory is when working with someone I'd just met that afternoon. Scene was at a fetish night in a club; loud music & flashy lighting. Somewhere along the line, I'd been given a joke gift of "Bond-aids", complete with darn-near identical box to our familiar bandaids. Inside was a 1inch wide roll of toilet tissue. Guess I'd been carrying it around for 2-3 years & hadn't needed it. Made the sub stand behind a chair & bound his wrists to the top of the chair in front of him. Then I started tickling; told him I'd stop if he broke the bindings. My goal, make him break 'em. I won, eventually, but it took forever! This kid could take some tickling! I'm still waiting for the chance to play with him again!

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Post #: 60

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