RE: The "B" in BDSM

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 4:03:36 PM

brat4fun

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I can remember being young... just about ready to hit puberty... and having fantasies about being kidnapped and tied up.... but somehow not minding that so much. lol

I get different sensations from decorative ropework and bondage meant for immobilization. The Shibari that I've experienced has been lovely. The feel of hands and body close to mine... the feel of soft silky rope sliding along my skin... knowing that I'm an active participant in something that brings pleasure to the both of us. I also love the look of different ties.

When I'm being restrained, however, it's about feeling powerless and helpless... and being held tight. Cuffs, rope, or even just being held down.... mmmmm... just makes me melt. I don't much like metal, though. It hurts to strain against and half the fun for me is being able to struggle a bit and knowing that I can't get away. Pressure is good; pain is distracting.

As for mental bondage, I agree with DesFIP. If I've got to hold myself still then that's where all my focus is going to be.... and I'm going to hate every minute of it. If the point of the exercise is simply to test my endurance, then so be it. Not especially my thing, though.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 5:05:21 PM

pinnipedster

Posts: 217
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quote:

ORIGINAL: wolf3]

It always seems to me that more girls are interested in being dominated then the reverse, if anything, and finding a geeky one to boot... :)

Well, I do know some dominant women, but bondage isn't really their kink. They use it sometimes, but are at least as happy to proceed without it. (One woman did seem a bit more promising in this regard, but alas, she didn't feel the chemistry between us was right, dang it.)

Of course, if I had my druthers, I would be a submissive girl myself, but reality doesn't seem to be very accomadating to that notion. So, not much to do but keep looking.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 11:04:26 PM

SurrenderForMe

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Joined: 3/11/2005
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quote:

So, am I kind of out there on this one? Or am I just finding the wrong people, or the wrong circumstances? Or is it more of a male dom thing? Just curious what others have experienced.

You are meeting the wrong kind of people. Like me. I tie someone up only when it achieves an end for me. On the other hand. I have not been to a club or play party in twenty years where there wasn't at least one and usually multiple bondage and suspension scenes happening. You need to get out more.

Good luck

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/1/2008 11:14:14 PM

Leatherist

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Men have a lot more of a physical control fetish.

Women seem to like mental control more. I have met very few female bondage tops. And a lot of them seem to be pros-so there is also a financial motive in them learning the skills. It gives them more of an edge on the lazier competition. It's nice to pay a top who will actually WORK for that 200 bucks an hour-rather than just lounge around and yap at you.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/2/2008 3:39:07 AM

Guilty1974

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Here in The Netherlands rope bondage has gained quite some popularity over the last few years, especially among members of the TNG group. Among the older generation it's less common, and more often limited to to basic "karada" type harnasses, but not much advanced stuff - at least not so much at parties. There's probably more than one reason. As already mentioned, flogging makes for a better exhibition. Many Doms want to profile themselves when playing publicly, and to impress people with rope bondage takes skill. To impress other people than the person bound takes even more skill. But excluding the show-offs, many people tend to pick types of play they're confident with, and again, to be confident with rope takes skill. Here's probably where a difference with the TNG group kicks in; at those parties there's more of a culture to experiment with new things.

So keep looking, there's definately rope people out there!

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/2/2008 3:49:34 AM

Guilty1974

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In addition, among certain groups, rope bondage suffers from an image of being difficult to master while not being a very effective tool (as in; it's hard to hurt or humiliate someone with bondage). Not really a skill a new Master or Mistress will invest a lot of time in, is it?

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/2/2008 4:01:09 AM

lapgirl

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i really enjoy the "B" in BDSM whether its cling wrap, eye contact and speech restriction, rope, leather.... just the idea that Sir is so controlling. i adore the feeling of helplessness that Sir gives to me, love being in that space of being taken by him for whatever he desires at that moment. . i appreciate the time it takes for him to do this, and i enjoy feeling him working his hands around my body and having him speaking to me all the while. <<< bi "B" fan ;)

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/2/2008 5:13:05 AM

petdave

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quote:

ORIGINAL: pinnipedster
Of course, if I had my druthers, I would be a submissive girl myself, but reality doesn't seem to be very accomadating to that notion. So, not much to do but keep looking.

Aye, i know what you mean

Interestingly, along with being interested in bondage before sexual maturity (as mentioned before), this is often found alongside a very strong interest in bondage.

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RE: The "B" in BDSM - 7/2/2008 7:30:11 AM

ponyboyachilles

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Joined: 3/14/2008
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I am a major bondage slut - I love the feeling of being "totally under control" of my Mistress, and She knows this. I am also a respectable escape artist, so She knows if She is lax in Her application of my bondage, I will slip free any way I can. When tacked up and left alone for a moment, I'm generally left with bit in (to prevent my using my teeth to untie a rope as well as to prohibit speech) and hands clipped together behind my back with mittens on, and She usually ties me by the collar to a handy post or wall-mounted D-ring so I can't wander around. The way I feel when truly, inescapably bound is indescribably delicious, and I'm always looking forward to it. At public play parties in the past I have been bound to a cross or posts for flogging, and it never really feels right unless I first try to get out and then find I can't. I will never understand the reluctance of Mistresses to use padlocks on me, especially when I'm so adept at unbuckling my mittens even with both hands inside mittens.

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