RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (Full Version)

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silkncarol -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/2/2008 3:40:16 PM)

I've never hidden my interests from my closest nilla friends....they like to tease me about handcuffs and whips.  In fact my dearest friend was curious about the lifestyle....took me to dinner and had me answer questions about the lifestyle...i've drawn her to the dark side..she's now a Domme living with her submissive.
As years go by my circle of vanilla friends has grown smaller....but my kinky lifestyle circle of friends and aquaintances has grown quite large! 




JoePNY707 -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/2/2008 4:11:47 PM)

My closest friends know. The average aquaintance would probably not believe it LOL!

One thing I've found is that when a friend becomes close enough to be trusted--and it comes up in the right way--their curiousity is INSATIABLE! [:)]




MsStarlett -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/2/2008 4:19:37 PM)

My best friend is the one who BROUGHT me to CM!    Yeah.  He knows.




Griswold -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/2/2008 5:39:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


(not counting your lover/mate as your best friend, of course).
If not, why not? Do you ever intend to tell them?
Akasha


<---- Not married....

And yes, my best friend knows I'm kinky...my best friend knows I'm sub....and my best friend knows I'm beyond any measure....entirely different from anyone she knows :)

(And she loves me nonetheless).
(Although she does think I'm just a smidge odd).




DesFIP -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/2/2008 6:09:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Darcyandthedark

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

No. I live in a small town, no sex shops, no porn purveyers etc. I can assure you that in 20 years of having breakfast at the local diner I have never overheard anyone talking about their sex life.

I don't feel the need to say "ooh, I got tied up and clamped last night". I don't talk about my sex life. My love life yes, she knows I'm very happy and she's heard me talk about his good qualities. But mostly my friends see our relationship and make their own conclusions. They see that I'm happy. They see us still hold hands all the time. They see the respect and liking we have for each other.


If BDSM is simply sex in your relationship, I can see how letting your best friend know your games may be awkward.
But BDSM is not only sexual in our dynamic, nor for others, so discussing clamps or sex life doesn't come into the discussion.
 
the.dark.

 
You missed the part where I say they see us interacting in our relationship and draw their own conclusions. They can see me getting up and getting him more tea or leaving when he tells me it's time to go. But I see no reason to tell them that I'm into BDSM. They observe the relationship and know he's the leader. Beyond that, what more do they need to know?
 
Why should I use words that might upset them when they can see what happens and think it's good. They know that he's the leader in the relationship just from watching us. That doesn't bother them. Me using other terminology might disturb them and would serve no purpose.




califsue -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/2/2008 6:55:59 PM)

No...my friends do not know. Not something I would share. My younger sister has an idea as she was my go to person for name/phone numbers and such when I was meeting people so that if something happened to me she had contact information. 




lronitulstahp -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/2/2008 7:51:52 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


(not counting your lover/mate as your best friend, of course).
If not, why not? Do you ever intend to tell them?
Akasha


<---- Not married....

And yes, my best friend knows I'm kinky...my best friend knows I'm sub....and my best friend knows I'm beyond any measure....entirely different from anyone she knows :)

(And she loves me nonetheless).
(Although she does think I'm just a smidge odd).
i wonder Gris...do you think having a female best friend makes it easier?  If your best friend wassome macho dude...would it be the same?  (Sorry to slightly hijack)

  btw... my best friend knows i'm kinky....but not about the deeply sub part....




subbisherri -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/2/2008 8:08:47 PM)

My best friend knows, but he's my lover, Top, soulmate and hopefully my life-partner. Most of my friends know, even the vanilla ones. On the other hand, I play mind games with them by asking why they give head and pretend that I don't.

Your best friend should be someone you can confide in. When you hook up with someone that you think is going to be everything you want, and it all falls apart, your best friend should be the one who's shoulder you can cry on. And if they don't know your thing, how can you? How can you keep a secret from a best friend anyway?

Heaven forbid that should things go all pear-shaped, you don't have a best friend for support when you need it most. Don't hide things like this, and if you have to then maybe it's time to find a new friend?

S.




SocialPerversion -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 1:08:59 AM)

Yes my best friend is aware of my kink just as I am aware of his.

I would have a huge problem if the person I called "family" was someone I was forced to lie to because I thought they were unable to accept who I am.

~~conquer4love~~




pompeii -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 3:53:19 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ViceVersa
I understand where you're coming from pompeii. Ironically, some of my best friends in bdsm have been very Christian


It is a problem with being up front. To have two lives is a very difficult task best managed well. Luckily, they'd never be on this site to see the real me!




Griswold -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 5:16:00 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lronitulstahp

quote:

ORIGINAL: Griswold

quote:

ORIGINAL: AAkasha


(not counting your lover/mate as your best friend, of course).
If not, why not? Do you ever intend to tell them?
Akasha


<---- Not married....

And yes, my best friend knows I'm kinky...my best friend knows I'm sub....and my best friend knows I'm beyond any measure....entirely different from anyone she knows :)

(And she loves me nonetheless).
(Although she does think I'm just a smidge odd).
i wonder Gris...do you think having a female best friend makes it easier?  If your best friend wassome macho dude...would it be the same?  (Sorry to slightly hijack)

btw... my best friend knows i'm kinky....but not about the deeply sub part....


I do have a very close male friend who knows I like, shall we say, a more....uhmmm..."strong willed" woman [:D], but I suspect he just envisions the typical leather / PVC clad kind of play...and then when that's over, everyone goes back to their regularly scheduled program...I doubt he makes the connection to an actual lifestyle, or my deeper feelings about things.




thetammyjo -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 5:56:33 AM)

All of our friends, casual or not, know that we are a poly, kinky household where TammyJo owns Fox.....

I don't hide from people and I certainly could never consider someone a friend who wasn't cool with my life. Just like I'd never think of myself as their friend if I didn't except their veganness or their being fundamentalist or liking dogs and cats or getting drunk once a month. Unless what they are doing is harming themselves or others, a friend accepts you for who you are.




LadyPact -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 6:09:53 AM)

I still say that My husband and My submissive are My two best friends.  I know that's not the answer that you're looking for, but I had to say it anyway.

More to the question that is really being asked, there are two people who would be closer to the definition of "best friend" than others.  One of which has a profile here, who I can talk (chat) with for hours on end.  While I don't tell him absolutely everything, there are certainly times that I've wanted to.

The other is a vanilla gal who comes pretty close to fitting the bill.  I started letting her in on things a couple of years ago and is always wanting to hear about the places I go or the things I do.  She's often mentioned that it might be interesting to see for herself.  Last night, she said she'd like to come along if I go to the club this weekend.  In all honesty, the idea made Me really happy.




EponasChylde -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 6:11:00 AM)

quote:

Does your best friend know you are kinky?


My best friend, my 2nd best friend, my doctor, my parents, most of my coworkers, my next door neighbor, the girl who does my hair...do I need to go on?




Racquelle -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 6:11:52 AM)

My best friend still doesn't grasp the difference between a female dominant and a dominatrix and since I do go-pro on occasion, he's really confused.  But he's incredibly accepting.




bookworm966 -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 6:20:15 AM)

My bestest friend knows, and has for several years.  A lot of people at work have some idea but no clue about the depth of it.  'We have to get the restraints out for a patient, better hide them from Sarah, she likes that kind of stuff'.  I just laugh.  My other close friends are all kinky themselves. 




Duskwolf -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 7:36:47 AM)

My two best friends are/were both 'nilla types who are well aware of what I'm about, and they've known me 10 years...
In fact, since they've found out, I think I've corrupted them, as they've both recently started showing an interest in various BDSM related topics.
I keep telling people I'm bad for corrupting them... Seems even my best friends are no exception. :D

I'm pretty sure that everyone at work knows something too, as I've often filled in conversations about "kink" topics with extra information, or corrected info, provided accurate names for things, and the like... If anyone I work with didn't know what I was like, I'd be surprised.

However, It doesn't change anything much really, the only people who don't get along with me are the ones that think how I am is "wrong".
Vanilla or otherwise, I have friends on both sides and I think no differently about it, I can talk to either group about whichever...




CruelDesires -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 7:41:11 AM)

Yes. All of my co-workers as well as my friends know that I am kinky to some degree or another. My best female friend who is a church going "Don't tell me what you really do" type who's been my best bud for 14+ years, has a few St Andrew crosses that I built stored in one of her outbuildings on her property. My best bud male friend knew what I did for years and was always interested in the why's and the hows and now has his own submissive after joining me in the lifestyle a few years back. It is fun corrupting people. [:D]

CD




sublizzie -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 8:04:06 AM)

Of course my best friend knows. She works for the sheriff's office. I didn't want her seeing marks and making assumptions that were untrue.




TheGaggingWh0re -> RE: Does your best friend know you are kinky? (7/3/2008 8:18:13 AM)

Yeah, she knows! She keeps telling me how my life opened a world of possibilities for her, and now she's found a whole new level of kink to explore (though she denies she'll ever be in it the way I am), LOL! What I don't understand is that I keep turning out female Doms. My best friend and my little sister. Never a sub chic!




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