Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/4/2008 10:28:42 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sujuguete

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3
quote:

im not finding it tireing, but it makes me miss him an awful lot - and not being able to pour out my anxt, cos that is so not what he needs from me right now - i do find it hard sometimes. 


But at what point do we get to say, "Look, I need some of your time.  I know you have stuff going on, but so do I, and as my Master/Dom/Lover/Friend/whatever I need to turn to you for support."

We both work, I have kids at home (he doesn't), and I'm in school.  As a sub, I make time for him whenever he wants me to.  Why wouldn't I be able to ask him to set aside time for me?  I get tired of being way down the list of his priorities.


during the times when they dont need anything more than to know we are there, not giving them grief, but just being there in whatever capacity - then as their sub partners that is what we do.

ive come to realise, quite recently, that being way down the list, is actually, oddly, reassuring - i am where i should be.  his work, son, hectic life are things he needs to really concentrate on - i dont want him to feel that im some high maintenance bitch demanding even more from him when he's already stretched - its reassuring to me because im not putting pressure on him - im the one part of his life that isnt stretching him and demanding from him.  its taken me a bit of time to realise this, but it really does help.

if he's keeping up communication, checking in that youre ok, then, hard as it is, just think that whatever is pulling him away at the moment, that at least youre not one of those things dragging him down.

take care and hugs.  itll pass.

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to sujuguete)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/4/2008 10:32:05 AM   
tkenslve


Posts: 98
Joined: 2/23/2004
Status: offline 		i have that feeling often, and it causes the worst thoughts to flit in and out of your head, doesnt it? Others have said that they learned patience and i know that, really, it is the only solution. But it is so hard not to sit wondering exactly how much understanding is really good and not going into the foot wiping rug area.

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/4/2008 10:37:23 AM   
tkenslve


Posts: 98
Joined: 2/23/2004
Status: offline
quote:

during the times when they dont need anything more than to know we are there, not giving them grief, but just being there in whatever capacity - then as their sub partners that is what we do.

ive come to realise, quite recently, that being way down the list, is actually, oddly, reassuring - i am where i should be.  his work, son, hectic life are things he needs to really concentrate on - i dont want him to feel that im some high maintenance bitch demanding even more from him when he's already stretched - its reassuring to me because im not putting pressure on him - im the one part of his life that isnt stretching him and demanding from him.  its taken me a bit of time to realise this, but it really does help.

if he's keeping up communication, checking in that youre ok, then, hard as it is, just think that whatever is pulling him away at the moment, that at least youre not one of those things dragging him down.

take care and hugs.  itll pass.



This is wonderful and how i have tried to think about things when i can get past the icky thoughts, often repeating it over and over in my head until it actually sinks in. (can take a lot of repeating). Thank you for posting it lally3

(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/4/2008 10:49:28 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		But from someone who is a slave, wife, friend, etc. all rolled into one for her Master, I can proudly say that before or since becoming His slave, I have never thrown even one "hissy."  I never did this in any of my previous "vanilla" relationships either.  One doesn't have to be a slave and a slave only to know how to act and properly defer to her man.
 
.. but you are and have always been an s'type, right?
 
i dont believe that what we are doing here is going against our nature, this isnt some internal struggle to be understanding and patient, we just are.  its not easy, its damn difficult at times, but the alternative is to be another pressure, a forcible and demanding strain in their lives and thats anathama., i would truly hate to feel that i was part of his life that takes a chunk out of him.

on the other hand, some women who happen to be vanilla, tend to expect to be top of the list, they absolutely demand it.
 
there is a difference.



_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/4/2008 10:57:30 AM   
YourhandMyAss


Posts: 5516
Joined: 6/25/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Yup. I was often tired of being understanding and patient, but that's more from when he was 2 hours away and I only got two day s a week with him, and those  things interfeared with the only two days a week I'd begetting.

quote:

ORIGINAL: chamberqueen

For the most part, I have a really great relationship.  Lately, though, vanilla things have come up that have separated my Master and me.  Every time he is going to meet me he is late (toughest when I am cooking a dinner for him), there are times he's said he would call or email and hasn't, and now a family issue has come up that means that there will be no contact between us for days. 

Right now I just feel sad and discouraged.  I was married (vanilla) to a man who always had excuses, or else I found myself making them for him.  I know that my Master has real and valid reasons - he's not lying to me.  I just wondered if any other subs/slaves get to a point where they start to feel exhausted while trying their best to be understanding and sometimes feeling like there are too many "important" things in life that come before them.

(Don't worry; I don't always feel this way.  It's just been a rough week.)


(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/4/2008 11:22:38 AM   
came4U


Posts: 3572
Joined: 1/23/2007
From: London, Ontario
Status: offline 		Yep, I tire of it and move on. 

(in reply to YourhandMyAss)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/4/2008 2:41:26 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline 		I'm not one to throw "hissy fits".   I can't ever remember doing that.  I have been passive/aggresive for all of about 2 minutes when I've either realized what I was doing myself or told very sternly to "Stop".    But it's when I'm to the point of "waving that white flag" and it is usually not due to any one thing.  More of a combination of things.  

(in reply to came4U)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/4/2008 3:38:03 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3


i dont believe that what we are doing here is going against our nature, this isnt some internal struggle to be understanding and patient, we just are.  its not easy, its damn difficult at times, but the alternative is to be another pressure, a forcible and demanding strain in their lives and thats anathama., i would truly hate to feel that i was part of his life that takes a chunk out of him.

on the other hand, some women who happen to be vanilla, tend to expect to be top of the list, they absolutely demand it.
 
there is a difference.




Some also negotiate it upfront.

And I've always been an s type. Yet I don't throw tantrums or rages. But I do know better than to make someone else a priority who only makes me an option. It isn't healthy for me, it's abusive.

Plus in this relationship I'm not allowed to. No matter how much stress he has, I am absolutely required to tell him when I need his support, his time, his help. But we've discussed this very point. He says that for him to be able to take care of me, he needs to know what's going on with me, he needs in at all possible to be there for me as much as possible. More than that, he finds dealing with my needs easier and more relaxing than dealing with a client who changes their minds daily or an exwife calling and demanding a lot more than the court allotted.

Perhaps others ought to bring this question up for discussion. Because when we assume we know what's best for them without bothering to ask, we take control away from them. And that's not being very submissive.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/5/2008 10:39:37 PM   
jade01


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		Just started in a relationship. I Met the Master who owns me, in person, He was here a few days, and had to take off for work reasons, said He would return and never was able to, due to ‘other’ work related obligations…but then we spoke via phone prior to His visit often enough.
 
Now, it is dwindling to nothing, and again there is a family, or some personal situation in which has arisen, and have not heard from Him in days.
 
I find communication of extreme importance. So I have tried sending text messages, or leaving messages on His phone, even knowing He may not call back, simply with the idea this may place a smile on His face for the time, or day.
 
When He felt that things were not so good right now in His life, this Master offered me release if I desired it…but I saw no reason to do so.
 
But communication has been a serious problem, either by phone or computer since His departure…
 
Oh forgot to add, presently it is LD… that may be obvious by now.
 
I wish to stick it out, hoping I am not simply fooling myself, being naïve or gullible here.
 
Also pray I am not hijacking this thread, was trying to stay in line with the point of always being the one who is understanding, accepting of the Dom/Masters situation and the reasons why they may be out of reach for said period of time.
 
So basically, I am also having the same dilemma.
 
jade
 

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 5:52:18 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: lally3


i dont believe that what we are doing here is going against our nature, this isnt some internal struggle to be understanding and patient, we just are.  its not easy, its damn difficult at times, but the alternative is to be another pressure, a forcible and demanding strain in their lives and thats anathama., i would truly hate to feel that i was part of his life that takes a chunk out of him.

on the other hand, some women who happen to be vanilla, tend to expect to be top of the list, they absolutely demand it.
 
there is a difference.




Some also negotiate it upfront.

And I've always been an s type. Yet I don't throw tantrums or rages. But I do know better than to make someone else a priority who only makes me an option. It isn't healthy for me, it's abusive.

Plus in this relationship I'm not allowed to. No matter how much stress he has, I am absolutely required to tell him when I need his support, his time, his help. But we've discussed this very point. He says that for him to be able to take care of me, he needs to know what's going on with me, he needs in at all possible to be there for me as much as possible. More than that, he finds dealing with my needs easier and more relaxing than dealing with a client who changes their minds daily or an exwife calling and demanding a lot more than the court allotted.

Perhaps others ought to bring this question up for discussion. Because when we assume we know what's best for them without bothering to ask, we take control away from them. And that's not being very submissive.


hey DesFip,

i think its one of those balance things again, and when your gut tells you, in the absence of reassurance, that things have become or are out of kilter.

during those times when a person, regardless of whom, is snowed under with pressures, that isnt the time to push forward insecurities, needs or frustrations - its a time to just be there.

different if you have a major problem and need help, different if you cant talk about things without being made to feel youre making unreasonable demands and different again, if when you do send out feelers theres no reassurance.

i agree that to be just an option to turn to for uncomplicated fun and the rest of the time be ignored is a really unhealthy thing.  but hopefully people will sense when that is the case and either step up and say something or pull the plug if its making them miserable.

im not someone who wants to be a priority - im much more comfortable out of the spot light, but when He asks me to turn to him for help, or when i have an emotional upset (like recently my cat had to be put down), he's totally there for me.

i think too, that when youre not living with your D there are times when a short email, a brief phonecall, no texts all day and a slight change in their voice or demeanor can play havoc on a subs imagination.  if that goes on for a few weeks, but they know their D is under pressure and stressed out, its a tricky call then to decide whether to remain understanding and just be that calm water or step up and say, 'hey - im hating this'

im going through something like this right now - no amount of knowing my D is under huge stress, pressure and hasnt been well - i want more from him, but i also know this isnt the time to push for it.  i also know he knows.  doesnt stop me from having insecure, wobbly moments - but when he calls me on the phone and i hear his voice it fixes me.

it is a balance and it is a time when you have to ask yourself if this is a game being played, is this a real relationship or is it a 'type' game - me sub = understanding, giving.  him Dom = can do what he likes whenever.  when youre in a real time relationship with real time dynamics and personalities working that dynamic through it really has to be real people working through real life ups and downs.  anything else needs to go jump.



_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to DesFIP)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 6:03:24 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Obviously there's a balance. But what I've seen is a lot of subs assume the dom doesn't want her to talk about her needs. But that they haven't ever, in a less stressful situation, sat down and asked for guidelines. In other words, the sub is making the rule about what to do, not the dom.

He says that there's always going to be stress, so unless it's extraordinary like one of his ums in critical condition, I am to tell him of my problems and ask for his help.  That's his rule, made after I didn't tell him of my problems. He then decides if he can help, just give me a quick hug, or hands it back by saying to take it to a professional. But because he set up a rule about it, it is always his decision.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 6:41:41 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jade01

Just started in a relationship. I Met the Master who owns me, in person, He was here a few days, and had to take off for work reasons, said He would return and never was able to, due to ‘other’ work related obligations…but then we spoke via phone prior to His visit often enough.
 
Now, it is dwindling to nothing, and again there is a family, or some personal situation in which has arisen, and have not heard from Him in days.
 
I find communication of extreme importance. So I have tried sending text messages, or leaving messages on His phone, even knowing He may not call back, simply with the idea this may place a smile on His face for the time, or day.
 
When He felt that things were not so good right now in His life, this Master offered me release if I desired it…but I saw no reason to do so.
 
But communication has been a serious problem, either by phone or computer since His departure…
 
Oh forgot to add, presently it is LD… that may be obvious by now.
 
I wish to stick it out, hoping I am not simply fooling myself, being naïve or gullible here.
 
Also pray I am not hijacking this thread, was trying to stay in line with the point of always being the one who is understanding, accepting of the Dom/Masters situation and the reasons why they may be out of reach for said period of time.
 
So basically, I am also having the same dilemma.
 
jade
 


hi jade,

was he living nearer to you before he left, if so, is he planning on coming back or has his life taken him away indefinitely or permanently.

i think its really difficult to maintain an LD relationship, particularly a very new one where youve only had a short time of r/time together.

there does come a point, and maybe youve reached it, where loss of regular communication and you havent heard for days, becomes hard to excuse.  it doesnt take long to even just text, drop a quick email, make a quick call. 

i really understand and admire your tenacity, but you should talk to him - if youre avoiding talking to him about this because he has offered you release once and you think he might again if you say anything, then you really need to think that one through. 

there does need to be a committed attempt to work at making the relationship a healthy one. 

someone might be pulled away emotionally, physically even psychologically, but there still needs to be a channel of communication going on!

sending hugs. xx

< Message edited by lally3 -- 7/6/2008 6:47:15 AM >

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to jade01)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 6:44:26 AM   
BRNaughtyAngel


Posts: 1821
Status: offline 		There's a quote that comes up around here a good bit......

"Never make someone a priority who treats you as an option."

People get busy, life interferes, but the simple truth is that if someone really wants a relationship with you, they will make the effort.  There's a relationship book out there called, "He's Just Not That Into You", and it's all about the ways that men show they aren't really interested, but women think in "female mode", so they try to explain away behaviors.

Being patient and understanding when you're in a stable, established relationship is one thing.  Being patient and understanding when you have no idea if you're even in a relationship, much less where you stand in it is another thing altogether.

He's probably married, and if not, then he maybe he just didn't get the warm fuzzies with you, so did the cowardly thing of disappearing instead of just saying, "this isn't gonna work".

Don't invest yourself emotionally or mentally with someone who can't be bothered to maintain contact with you.


quote:

ORIGINAL: jade01

Just started in a relationship. I Met the Master who owns me, in person, He was here a few days, and had to take off for work reasons, said He would return and never was able to, due to ‘other’ work related obligations…but then we spoke via phone prior to His visit often enough.
 
Now, it is dwindling to nothing, and again there is a family, or some personal situation in which has arisen, and have not heard from Him in days.
 
I find communication of extreme importance. So I have tried sending text messages, or leaving messages on His phone, even knowing He may not call back, simply with the idea this may place a smile on His face for the time, or day.
 
When He felt that things were not so good right now in His life, this Master offered me release if I desired it…but I saw no reason to do so.
 
But communication has been a serious problem, either by phone or computer since His departure…
 
Oh forgot to add, presently it is LD… that may be obvious by now.
 
I wish to stick it out, hoping I am not simply fooling myself, being naïve or gullible here.
 
Also pray I am not hijacking this thread, was trying to stay in line with the point of always being the one who is understanding, accepting of the Dom/Masters situation and the reasons why they may be out of reach for said period of time.
 
So basically, I am also having the same dilemma.
 
jade
 

(in reply to jade01)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 6:51:43 AM   
lusciouslips19


Posts: 9792
Joined: 9/8/2007
Status: offline 		I was with someone for 8 months. I thought the relationship was wonderful and in many ways it was. but it was easy for him. When his life got out of control busy, he decided he didnt want to put in the necessary effort and that he didnt have the necesary emotion to do that. At first I was a priority but I became an option. Now a mere weeks later, I am just getting to know someone who is making me a priority. Although he is courting me big time. Who knows what it would be down the road?

< Message edited by lusciouslips19 -- 7/6/2008 6:52:02 AM >

_____________________________

Original Pimpette,
Keeper of Original Home Flag and Fire of Mr. Lance Hughes
Charter member of Lance's Fag Hags,
Member of the Subbie Mafia
Princess of typos and it's my prerogative

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 6:57:35 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Greetings, there is also a song by Reba "Why haven't I  heard from you"  One part of it goes:

Well there's no problem gettin' to me Baby you can dial direct I got call forwarding and call waiting
You can even call collect The service man he told me that my phone is working fine
And I've come to the conclusion trouble isn't with my line
I'm sure the operator will be glad to put you thru So dial zero for assistance if this all confuses you

And in this day and age with all of the ability to send simple communication with email, cell phones, text messaging etc, there is no reason other than simple "actively deciding and making the conscious choice not to" be in contact with someone.  If the Man you are calling Master who you don't live with or rarely see, to me, is making this active choice to not being contact with you (the only way your relationship has a chance of surviving since you don't have the personal connection of seeing each other daily)  then that says a lot without saying a word.

Just my two cents -- angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 7/6/2008 6:58:36 AM >

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 9:19:52 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		Obviously there's a balance. But what I've seen is a lot of subs assume the dom doesn't want her to talk about her needs. But that they haven't ever, in a less stressful situation, sat down and asked for guidelines. In other words, the sub is making the rule about what to do, not the dom. (quote DesFip)
 
ok, yes. i recently made an independent judgement based on an immediate situation - His position as my D doesnt mean that i should suddenly be rendered incapable of thinking for myself and dealing with my own insecurities just because he's miles away in a different country at the moment on business and has been distracted and not concentrating on our relationship. 

i gave myself a strict talking to, basically along the lines of 'get over myself'.  there is more going on in his life than me.

however, i can make that judgement based on the fact that he communicates daily and is there, if not in spirit or body or mind, he is always reachable and this situation will go away soon.

i do understand what youre saying about the sub making up their own rules in the absence of direction and that by doing so they are not being entirely submissive or up front with their D. 

but if i had given an all out bulletin about how insecure i was feeling about a few things and that being understanding about his situation still left me in the dark about what to do or feel he would have probably been irritated and pointed out, quite rightly, that he has alot on his plate and that the trust he had placed in me as an intelligent and resourceful woman capable of getting on without him for a while was evidently mis-placed.  i dont know, he might not, im second guessing here too, but im pretty darned sure that right now he expects me to use my energies in a more productive manner than worrying about things ive manifested all by myself. 

call it an educated guess or a basic life skill or just being adaptable and compliant to a situation he really shouldnt have to spell out to me.

for me personally i feel i am giving him as much of my submission as i can right now, by not thrusting my needs in his face.  having said that i have been wearing luciouslips a little thin just recently - and she's helped alot and if i didnt have her to talk to i might be sounding very different right now.  but in the end, after giving her all of the facts and not just my version, the decision i made to remain understanding and not communicate my insecurities is the right one for my situation.

i can only speak for myself here - others on this thread may well see this differently. 


 
 



< Message edited by lally3 -- 7/6/2008 9:23:40 AM >

_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to BRNaughtyAngel)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 9:50:32 AM   
lally3


Posts: 595
Joined: 3/4/2008
Status: offline 		Well there's no problem gettin' to me Baby you can dial direct I got call forwarding and call waiting
You can even call collect The service man he told me that my phone is working fine
And I've come to the conclusion trouble isn't with my line
I'm sure the operator will be glad to put you thru So dial zero for assistance if this all confuses you
 
i think some people take longer than others to reach the same conclusion about the demise of a relationship.
 
personally, anyone calling themselves any sort of human being, D or otherwise, if they use silence to convey goodbye then there really is no loss there.  similarly if someone winds a relationship down to the point of confusing the hell out of the person on the other end, then its no loss there either.
 
i function on a short fuse with that sort of shite - ill give every ounce of understanding going, but it isnt a limitless facility.



_____________________________

even doves have pride (Prince)

(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 11:10:14 AM   
softpjOS


Posts: 398
Joined: 6/7/2005
Status: offline 		Serving a Mistress with a handicap (adult) son, a brother with serious (self induced) health problems, a mother that turns to Her for support/help at every turn, dauthers that call with *drama of the day*.......  yea, i've figured out that in many ways, i'll never be the top priority in Her life, but that does not make me an option in Her life at all. 
 
Add to the family drama the fact that She is restoring a farm, thus being kept busy with work that i personally can not do, frequently 12 hour days for Her... my primary *job* is taking care of the things She HATES to do, thus She avoids me and what i'm doing on a daily basis.  lol.  Instead of sitting on the 3rd floor wishing She could sneak off for a break and spend time with me, i go down and fix a glass of ice water or a snack and go out looking for Her... pj=break time!!
 
The primary way i will not be Her top priority is in being *needy* and attention seeking. 
 
It's taken me a very long time to see the constant family drama/crisis of the day as my oppurtunity to shine in Her life. When the BS starts (every other day lol) i'm Her shoulder, sounding board, and most importantly Her rock. She knows without a doubt that i will be there picking up any pieces i can and at the end of the day, i'm there to massage/snuggle/listen and make Her smile. 
 
That doesn't mean i'm never sitting back feeling pushed aside, *neglected*, forgotten... wanting to say "hey.. what about me"???  Trust me, those feelings do creep  up from time to time.  And when they do, i refocus myself (gets easier in time..really it does) on being the *good* in Her life, not the *energy drain* they are being.  I find something in Her day to take off Her hands...making dinner (even if it's just for Her son), freshen Her room... laundry...something i know is nagging at Her in the back of Her mind and i just DO it.  I put myself at Her house late at night when i know She'll be ready to kick back and relax and just be there for Her, not expecting play/sex/attention.....just be there for Her. 
 
Doing this helps me maintain my focus on being a positive force in Her life.  If i sat back simply waiting for Her to find time for me, i'm sure i'd drive myself as well as everyone else bananas with a rousing self pity party.  Poor poor neglected me... yup, have had a few of those and not only do they not help matters.... they do indeed make it much worse.  (and no, i am in no way saying this is what anyone posting is doing so please, put the torches away)
 
I guess the type of relationship we've developed plays a huge part in my ability to accept and overcome those feelings of being pushed aside by life. I've finally figured out, no one can push me aside, when i feel that way... it's me withdrawing when She needs me the most. 
 
So, when those feelings creep up...find something positive to do for them (and yourself!), even if it's just an email or erotic story waiting in their inbox.  Check out a book and read up on something They find interesting or surprise Them by learning to cook a new dish (found a great recipe for pistachio cake recently lol)...remember it's the little things that have the greatest impact  

(in reply to chamberqueen)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 11:32:08 AM   
Maya2001


Posts: 1656
Joined: 8/22/2007
From: Woodstock ONT,CANADA
Status: offline 		 A huge yes !!!!! At least right now at this moment in time   Now I can understand things coming up...by geez the last 2 weeks I have had make share and have been running around like a nutcase trying to get things resolved inorder to be ready for today,  with 3 different car problem, one major and 2 smaller ones one that occured just last night, a pool problem  this past week that resulted in a partial flooding ...steaming cleaning my rugs and having the steam cleaner motor go... when the the rugs are soaked... a plumbing problem this week ..family problems but I bust my ass get the problems resolved so I would ready to pick him up at the airport today and be ready for his stay..even to the point where I damn near passed out while getting groceries last night  from dehydration because I was going like hell even working in the hot sun outside without  stopping for  breaks inorder to be ready today ...he had a problem come up thursday  told me don't worry he has several options inorder to resolve there was no way he would be cancelling ....12'oclock last night I get the call he can't make it.... we did have one nice visit back in February... if he wants to remains friends fine...but it will have to remain online... I am sure if the past 2 weeks had not went so bad for me having to rush around deal with one problem after another, eating up money  getting professionals to take care of for me since I just did not have the time myself to deal with  and damn near ended up landing myself in the hospital trying to  make sure I would be ready for the visit      I probably would not be as upset ... but it left me feeling like I was just not enough of a priority  to make the effort for him to take of his problem  to ensure he could make the trip...  but I know that is not true either <sigh> he wants more of a relationship then just friends but our jobs and the border makes it impossible plus he is afraid of letting me down last time here was here he after a couple days he found himself struggling with dominating me as his feelings grew for me and I could telling from our last IM conversation he was starting to struggle again at trying to keep it as a friendship only and is likely the real reason behind his backing out at the last minute as he was afraid of becoming more attached and knew I had plans of meeting another dom after his visit  and probably just as much my fault knowing how strongly he feels  about me  I should not agreed to the visit and right now he is feeling like crap

I know I am rantling  mostly out of frustration at the current time but have no intentions of letting the situation keep me down  ... so I guess this week I will instead be inviting over family and friends for a pool party  now that it is fixed  and inorder to get rid of the extra food I bought. and am  spending  my  day relaxing ..enjoying some time in  the pool  and just pamper myself and unwind after the craziness of the past 2 weeks and look on it on the bright side ...if I had not be dealing with everything on a time constraint I would have put a lot of the problems and chores off instead most of the stuff I wanted to get done while on my holiday got completed otherwise I would have ended up procrastinating and would have been back to work with less than 50% accomplished ..so my holidays is not a total waste.  

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation - I can find the way myself

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? - 7/6/2008 12:41:39 PM   
jade01


Posts: 35
Joined: 7/5/2008
Status: offline 		Thank you tally and BRNaughtyAngel,
 
For the concerned words… both of understanding and encouragement, which is of great need at present.
Sorry but have not learned how to use the quote thing yet, so am going to do this as best as possible.
 
Quote: was he living nearer to you before he left, if so, is he planning on coming back or has his life taken him away indefinitely or permanently?
 
To tally…no has lives out of state, several states away in fact.
I do not know if He will be coming back. It was a possibility earlier, but now…anyone’s guess is as good as my own. As they say, ‘only God knows at this point’.
 
 
Quote: where loss of regular communication and you haven’t heard for days, becomes hard to excuse.  It doesn’t take long to even just text, drop a quick email, make a quick call. 
 
These are my sentiments as well, but sometimes I simply have this difficulty stepping off…that ‘well, am I making the right decision here?’ sorta thing…yet the rest of me screams…’YYYEESS!!!!!!’
 
Please tell me I am not the only one who has internal arguments with themselves? Show of hands now  

Quote: People get busy, life interferes, but the simple truth is that if someone really wants a relationship with you, they will make the effort.   <snip>
Being patient and understanding when you're in a stable, established relationship is one thing.  Being patient and understanding when you have no idea if you're even in a relationship, much less where you stand in it is another thing altogether.
To BRNaughtyAngel…so very true, and like taking an arrow and hitting the mark, I really have to not just see, but accept…not linger on.
 
I have been thinking about this since I read this thread and posted last night.
Simply my personal opinion now, but I see the communication between Doms/Masters or subs/slaves the same, as I would consider a family would be.
 
If said Dom/Master had (not certain if I may use the word children here, hope so) to care for would they ignore them? Even ‘if’ they were not the ‘primary’ care givers…would they ignore said family member?
 
There have been many times when speaking to both sides of the equation, meaning Doms and subs, that they say the relationship is very similar…like how one would treat a smaller family member, in the sense you would not ignore them, never speak to them…ect.
 
So, I got excited at the prospect of r/t…my bad, may be I now live and learn.
 
What is most confusing is Doms/Masters who would not be straight out with the truth, and yet claim their position as being Dominant…but here again, may be I am questioning things I should not.
 
I wish very much to thank you both for the words of advise, in a sense they were, but also backed up how I was feeling and gave me strength.
 
Most Sincerely
jade
 

(in reply to lally3)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Submissive >> RE: Do you ever get tired of being understanding? Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.109