subbisherri -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/4/2008 1:03:16 PM)
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There have been some good non-horror times. Once I had decided to explore submission, it took quite some time to get up the guts to step outside my comfort zone, that being with people I knew and doing scenes and overnights that were, looking back now, mostly pretend subbing. I had been in touch for awhile with a pre-op TS and his (her?) dom in SF, and when the invite came for a visit it was finally time to take a deep breath and dive in. The first two nights I didn't stay with them, had a great room for cheap at the Marine Club, and they played tour guide and showed me all over; typical tourist trip and I still haven't found another place that can make tiger-eye sushi. Although I have a good number of gay friends, I had no idea that a straight (mostly) woman could have such a blast at gay bars, or that the patrons of same would accept her presence. First major part of being comfortable. They are both totally gay, not bisexual at all, and that was the second major part of being comfortable: I wasn't seen at all as something sexual by either of them but rather as an object to be used and abused and controlled, and that was what made it so easy to finally slip into the submissive role that was the purpose of the trip. It was all about service and submitting, and not at all about sex. Only real regret was wasting the first two days and nights before staying at their place. On the other hand, there have been crappy times too, one especially that I dearly wish I could forget, but that's ancient history now. S.
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