RE: No More Horror Stories (Full Version)

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Magdalena1 -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/5/2008 8:23:53 PM)

I would not recommend going straight to the hotel room. If you have to back out after meeting the Dom face-to-face, you'll be much more comfortable (that's not really a right word) doing it in the public place.



ownedgirlie -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/5/2008 8:37:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst
Most of the horror stories I have read are from those newbies who still buy the fantasy. 
In the LA area 8 years ago, I guess. A man posing as Dom, raped and beat 6 submissive women in a period of 8 months. (it's possible there were more.)  The majority of whom were experienced submissives (I knew two of them personally). The man was a sociopathic serial rapist, when charges were finally leveled at him, it was his third strike. He was very good at being charming. So, if you think you're above being conned, that may not be the case. Personally, I'd rather err on the side of caution than have to live with the life long problems that those 6 women now have to face every day.


I absolutely appreciate your concern.  Sometimes even the best of preparing and planning can go awry.  The vanilla man who raped me was a VP at my company and I knew him for 3 years.  The man I married is a sociopath and I dated him for a year and a half before we married.  He fucked me up good in our marriage. 

And yet, Mr. Wonderful and I talked for two months and I just knew all would be well.  Without ever having met him, he was the first man I ever felt safe with.  Some things just can't be explained (or if this one can, I haven't spent enough energy trying to figure it out).

I'm not an advocate of frivolous behavior - whether it's going home with a "vanilla" in a bar, or meeting someone you don't trust in a hotel room for a D/s and/or BDSM experience.  But I think the stories here aren't about being frivolous.  And it is curious to me, even though there's no scientific study about it, that the majority of stories about hotel or home and play meets we seem to read about on CM seem to have pretty decent endings.



justheather -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/5/2008 11:53:45 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

This thread is scaring the crap out of me. I really hope that newbies don't read this thread and throw caution to the wind because of all these lovely stories of bad decisions not gone wrong. Honestly regardless of how many good experiences anyone has had, to meet and play with a stranger on a first meet is asking for trouble of the worst kind. T

I disagree completely. I think that there is something to be said for intelligent people taking measured, calculated risks. T


What is measured and calculated about allowing a complete stranger to restrain and beat you in a private settting? 



Please define "complete stranger".



TNstepsout -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/6/2008 7:50:41 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Please define "complete stranger".

Albert DeSalvo John Wayne Gacy Aileen Carol Wuornos Arthur John Shawcross Tommy Lynn Sells Gerard John Schaefer John Edward RobinsonTed Bundy
Joel David Rifkin David Parker Ray Gary Leon Ridgway Gerald Gallego and Charlene Williams Gallego Kendall Francois Jeffrey Dahmer Raymond Fernandez Martha Beck Charles Albright Herb Baumeister Maury Troy Travis





gypsygrl -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/6/2008 8:45:28 AM)

I don't want to encourage anyone throwing caution to the wind and abandoning common sense, but the idea that the people you listed and others can, by virtue of the crimes they comitted, have power over me makes me a hostage to their actions.  If I base my decisions solely on the fact that there are rapists, serial killers, sociopaths etc, rather than my own desires, I'm giving those people power over me.  I become a hostage to the fear they create. I don't want that.

Living in fear and being controlled by it sucks.  Better to educate people on how to take care of themselves, how to carry themselves and being aware of their surroundings.

I have played with people on the first meet.  I've stayed at stranger's houses, and let them into my own.  I don't do it often, but I have done it.  Thus far, nothing bad has happened. 



Missokyst -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/6/2008 9:37:55 AM)

STRANGER DANGER!!!
Yes there are rapists and killers out there.  But I can tell you from personal experience that it is sometimes the person you know that you should fear.  Family members can abuse you, husbands can beat you, wives can poison you, acquaintences can run in packs, hold you down and harm you, ect.  Life is not garaunteed simply because you have seen their face before. 
Been there. 

But, I do think there are many people out there who are more naive than 3 yr olds and frankly I dont think they should be doing this stuff at all. 
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Please define "complete stranger".

Albert DeSalvo John Wayne Gacy Aileen Carol Wuornos Arthur John Shawcross Tommy Lynn Sells Gerard John Schaefer John Edward RobinsonTed Bundy
Joel David Rifkin David Parker Ray Gary Leon Ridgway Gerald Gallego and Charlene Williams Gallego Kendall Francois Jeffrey Dahmer Raymond Fernandez Martha Beck Charles Albright Herb Baumeister Maury Troy Travis






variation30 -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/6/2008 10:55:23 AM)

I went to meet someone I had met in a chatroom once. We'd been sending one another messages, chatting, seeing one another on webcam, and talking on the phone fairly regularly for a few months. She lived near Atlanta and I live in Alabama so I, being the gentelman I am, decided to drive to her. We met for lunch and talked for a bit and we were just as comfortable as we were in any other medium. We then went to the botanical gardens and I have to say, she became more and more attractive and appealing as the day went on. We then retired to a hotel room as we were completely smitten with one another (I was 22 at the time and I felt like I was a youthful, exuberant 19 again). She went to make drinks as I took a shower. She brought me the drinks and we sat and talked for a while. The next thing I knew I was sitting in a bathtub full of ice with a note next to me saying I'm missing a kidney and need to call the police.



YourhandMyAss -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/6/2008 3:11:41 PM)

variation, there's varients of the whole stole an organ crap story floating about all over theplace.



variation30 -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/6/2008 3:22:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Please define "complete stranger".

Albert DeSalvo John Wayne Gacy Aileen Carol Wuornos Arthur John Shawcross Tommy Lynn Sells Gerard John Schaefer John Edward RobinsonTed Bundy
Joel David Rifkin David Parker Ray Gary Leon Ridgway Gerald Gallego and Charlene Williams Gallego Kendall Francois Jeffrey Dahmer Raymond Fernandez Martha Beck Charles Albright Herb Baumeister Maury Troy Travis





wow, she knocked that one out of the park.



variation30 -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/6/2008 3:23:45 PM)

I know that, which is why I thought it'd be a funny post.



Missokyst -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/6/2008 4:56:01 PM)

Not really.  Some of those people were in long term involvements or married.  They had friends, and family.  Someone knew them, and inevidibly they were taken by surprise.  Stranger danger is something people mistakenly propose to keep their children safe.  More danger comes from someone you know.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

quote:

ORIGINAL: justheather

Please define "complete stranger".

Albert DeSalvo John Wayne Gacy Aileen Carol Wuornos Arthur John Shawcross Tommy Lynn Sells Gerard John Schaefer John Edward RobinsonTed Bundy
Joel David Rifkin David Parker Ray Gary Leon Ridgway Gerald Gallego and Charlene Williams Gallego Kendall Francois Jeffrey Dahmer Raymond Fernandez Martha Beck Charles Albright Herb Baumeister Maury Troy Travis





wow, she knocked that one out of the park.




TNstepsout -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/7/2008 4:56:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Not really.  Some of those people were in long term involvements or married.  They had friends, and family.  Someone knew them, and inevidibly they were taken by surprise.  Stranger danger is something people mistakenly propose to keep their children safe.  More danger comes from someone you know.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

So you are saying that it is actually safer to play with strangers than with someone you know?



Missokyst -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/7/2008 5:51:58 AM)

Nope.  What I am saying is that people should learn to rely on their instincts AND their own skill to remove themselves from a bad situation.  Too many subs stand back and adopt the role because they are so needy they will accept anything, until it is too late.
Strangers or familiar, is no different. But on a personal level I have found much more danger in the familiar.  Because there is inherent trust.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Not really.  Some of those people were in long term involvements or married.  They had friends, and family.  Someone knew them, and inevidibly they were taken by surprise.  Stranger danger is something people mistakenly propose to keep their children safe.  More danger comes from someone you know.
Kyst

quote:

ORIGINAL: variation30

So you are saying that it is actually safer to play with strangers than with someone you know?




whiteslavebitch -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/7/2008 9:41:48 AM)

I had been planning a trip to New York City, and came into contact with a dominant from there. We discussed meeting when I got there, with no further plans made.

We liked each other from the first meet, and arranged to play the same day in my hotel room. There was an almost instant connection, and we played again two days later.

Fast forward almost three years, and I have moved here to the east coast to be his slave.

I had never before played on a first meet, but I am so glad that I did that time.



Mercnbeth -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/7/2008 10:00:59 AM)

quote:

Do you have a non-horror story?

 
Master posted the following non-horror story on the 4th anniversary of our first face-to-face meeting(3/01/2003)...


At 1:00 PST four years ago, at that lifestyle "hot-spot", "Pea Soup Andersen's" in Buellton, we met. There in a lonely bar you stood, while bus-loads of senior citizens grazed at the salad bar.  A Jack & coke, and scotch on the rocks, later and we were off. To this day, the bartenders always put the wrong drink in front of each of us.

It had already been a great day. A "top-down" day in SoCal. The scenery during the 3 hour trip from LA was impressive to this jaded ex-New Yorker. But I stopped looking at it, once you came into view.

We drove through Solvang and considered parking and walking around with the rest of the tourists. I was trying my best to stay focused and committed to my "rules" for first contact; a drink, maybe some food, casual, neutral conversation, no kissing, no petting, no play, no sex. Fate didn't provide a parking space so we decided to drive into the canyons and you wanted to show me where you lived. I think the description was; "drive to the middle of nowhere, take a left and keep going for 14 miles". You took me to a spot where, overlooking the valley, where you "forced" me to break a few of my "rules". Before we could break them all another car showed up, "lost" of course, and once we set them on their way we were off to find a place where we could break the rest of them.

By 6:00, in a room at the Kon Tiki Inn, Pismo Beach, we were making up a new set of rules. Finally deciding at some point that food was also a staple of life, we enjoyed a Santa Maria style BBQ dinner at McLintock's.

I lost all respect for myself that day! I think I had to marry you just to maintain some sense of integrity. I still have a part of me that says this is all too good to be true. Trust me, my pet, at this point it really won't matter if you disclose that you are a post-op transsexual. 



crouchingtigress -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/7/2008 10:40:56 AM)

i was walking one way, he was coming toward me from the other direction...our eyes met....locked on...we walked past eachother and kept staring....11 minutes later i was in a hotel and on the phone with my mom telling her i was delayed....and while talking to her...he took my ass...did not ask, just took....and i kept my voice steady the whole time....it was amazingly hot, and no harm. i still jerk off to that memory



TNstepsout -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/7/2008 4:50:31 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Nope.  What I am saying is that people should learn to rely on their instincts AND their own skill to remove themselves from a bad situation.  Too many subs stand back and adopt the role because they are so needy they will accept anything, until it is too late.
Strangers or familiar, is no different. But on a personal level I have found much more danger in the familiar.  Because there is inherent trust.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

So you  agree that strangers can be dangerous and that one should use caution?



camille65 -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/7/2008 5:00:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Nope.  What I am saying is that people should learn to rely on their instincts AND their own skill to remove themselves from a bad situation.  Too many subs stand back and adopt the role because they are so needy they will accept anything, until it is too late.
Strangers or familiar, is no different. But on a personal level I have found much more danger in the familiar.  Because there is inherent trust.
Kyst
quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

So you  agree that strangers can be dangerous and that one should use caution?


************************************* I can't get my post below, out of the dang quote box!*************************************
The potential for danger can be everywhere.

I see absolutely no sense in living a life locked behind closed doors because I am scared something might happen.
Yet I also don't make it a habit to hitchhike or take candy from strangers.

Using common sense and my learned judging of characters I have made it through almost 43 years on this earth. Yup I have had some bumps bruises and a few scars but I have also met some of the most wonderful people and had some awesome experiences.

If someone sucks at judging character and situation then by all means don't detour from your route. But if someone has a bit of life experience and is capable of saying 'No' or walking away? Then I say go for it, don't be stupid but go on and enjoy life.



ownedgirlie -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/7/2008 5:32:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

So you  agree that strangers can be dangerous and that one should use caution?


Hi stepsout...

Not sure how far you are wanting to take this, but since this thread is about those who want to share their NON horror stories, maybe a new thread should be created for those who want to warn about horror stories...so we can keep hejira's fun thread on its fun path.  This thread is simply showing the other side to that "danger coin" we so often see here, and it's been really refreshing.  I guess I'm just hoping we'd keep it that way...

Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part.



TNstepsout -> RE: No More Horror Stories (7/7/2008 6:13:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie


quote:

ORIGINAL: TNstepsout

So you  agree that strangers can be dangerous and that one should use caution?


Hi stepsout...

Not sure how far you are wanting to take this, but since this thread is about those who want to share their NON horror stories, maybe a new thread should be created for those who want to warn about horror stories...so we can keep hejira's fun thread on its fun path.  This thread is simply showing the other side to that "danger coin" we so often see here, and it's been really refreshing.  I guess I'm just hoping we'd keep it that way...

Maybe it's wishful thinking on my part.


I had no intention of hijacking a thread. I only wished to put the disclaimer on it.  A lot of the behavior described in these encounters is incredibly foolish and just because nothing bad happened it does not mean that it wasn't foolish.  I didn't discourage anyone from discussing their "fun" stories, only to be safe.



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