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daddysliloneds -> RE: After care or no after care, what a stupid question. (7/8/2008 10:05:20 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Amaros
quote:
ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW
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ORIGINAL: daddysliloneds
i disagree and i'll even give an example of a dominant trying to give me after-care once that blew up in his face....
it was a normal day like any other day, and a normal flogging like any other flogging, however, during this particular flogging ,
unbeknownst to my dominant or to myself, i had gone into a very deep and very primal state, so when he proceeded to perform after-care i tore him apart like a wild animal; it took him about fourty minutes to wrestle me down; the results of which landed him and i at the emergency room with him being treated for deep bite wounds, severe, bloodied claw marks, and three stiches to his fore-head. i had bruises all over me that were obviously made by his hands restraining me. we had to tell them that i had been drinking and trying to get in the car to drive myself home and that his injuries were a result of him trying to prevent that from happening...
needless to say, his attempt didn't strengthen our bond or our trust or some kind of grand poo ba intimacy or act of genuine domliness; it resulted in us not seeing or speaking to each other ever again.
I blame this on failure of disclosure on the bottom's part. If a bottom knows that he or she doesn't like to be touched after play, I want to hear about it. I will tell you that, as a dominant, I would want to know that my property exhibited these kinds of tendencies up front, when we negotiated a scene. I'd want to be told "Oh, btw, I tend to go deep during subspace, and am violently reactive if touched afterwards'. Dominants are often very good at reading body language, but there is a measure of disclosure that is common sense.
Not every bottoming situation requires aftercare, even with the same submissive individual involved -- but if aftercare is going to present a potential danger to either or both of us, I want to -know- about it, dammit.
Calla Firestorm
I'm not sure she knew this was going to be the outcome.
neither one of us knew this was going to be the outcome because
after being in a relationship for four years, it completely went against anything that either one of us had ever experienced together. shit happens and it's not always going to be expected nor logical.
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