AAkasha
Posts: 4429
Joined: 11/27/2004
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: HardToTame
well, thats what I mean.
For me, kind of like, signing up to be a slave just feels, rediculous. And so, I agree that if they sign up, then yes, they should submit. It's what they're paying for or for what they are there for. How ever, the whole idea of an organised session doesn't sit very well with me. It makes me feel trashy, like some guy who can't get laid or something and has to see a hooker. (No offense to the pro's).
I like the idea of, finding someone, socially. (Bar club etc) who takes an interest as me as a person, then when it gets to the bedroom, they turn out to be dominant. I'm not afraid to say (even though this forum will hate me for it) but, this is a sexual hobby for me. Not a lifestyle. I like dominant woman, and so even outside the bedroom, I'd still be happy to do what she says so long as I'm ASKED not TOLD. But, I can't stand the idea of being all "yes maam, hit me again maam." that just makes me feel well, immasculated. My ideal woman would be a sexy, seductive, strong woman with as much confidence as me, who is so special as a person that she inspires me. Thats what gets me, a girl who is so unbelievably astounding as a person, that you want to submit for them. You want to do your best work and dedicate to them. But, where are they? It's like, you see the most beautiful model on the street, and it's just another face. They come up to you and wanna get jiggy, and so you think "well, she's pretty, let's see how creative she is" then, they're just dead personalities. I can't stand it. But, I also can't stand these woman who, are domme's and expect the whole 9 yards, and you look at them and you think "well, why should I give in to you? Whats so special about you?" They get all, domineering, and I just laugh and walk away and they get all frustrated and shit and end up all heart broken because deep down, it's more like they're emotionally desperate woman who just put on a domineering persona in the sack because they think it's what all guys want and that if they act that way they will get alot more man meat and loving.
Theres needs to be something very genuine. I can't tolerate dominant people who are hard on the outside but, sugar coated inside.
When I want that kind of challenge, I seduce a vanilla man. He has no idea what he's in for, and I love it.
Seriously though....(while the above statement is true, I digress). I was really disillusioned the first time I "discovered" submissive men after years of dominating vanilla boyfriends. I was kind of excited to find a whole 'community' of men who actually wanted to be dominated. Then I found that most were either pushy or demanding - or, the opposite - kind of meager, meek, pathetic, groveling saps. YIKES! I went straight back to seducing and dominating vanilla guys at alternative dance clubs. This was in the early days of the Internet and usenet, and when I would post on message boards about it, I got a ton of crap from many kinky people who questioned the 'ethics' of seducing non kinky men for the purpose of dominating them ("you are just using sex appeal to get them to agree to things the may not even want or understand, blah blah") and a lot of whining from submissive men stating "why on earth would a good femdom get wasted on vanilla men?" Part of the problem was that I was in my mid 20s and most of the "kinky community" was older and I didn't like them nor fit in, particularly, except for people I got to know pretty well or private parties vs. public ones, and it took me some time to get settled in and feel comfortable.
But in reality, you can only take the "I will submit to you if I get something in return" game so far. There's an excitement in dominating a man that may resist on some levels, and there's a real rush getting a man to sign up for something he has no idea what is going to be like vs. a man who has been dreaming about it (and thus has a boatload of expectations) since he was 14. When I realized as a young female that I had a lust and desire to get a man to submit, it didn't take me long to figure out that seduction, sex appeal and self confidence were going to be how I lured them in and got them to do what they would never do. I spent a long time perfecting my look, my attitude, my confidence and figuring out different ways to get around a resistant, unsure, or nervous man. I loved the chase and I loved to be predatory. I thought being sexy and seductive was part of the necessary packaging to be femdom anyway.
As I got older I realized that the only real ingredient necessary for a very good power exchange is a desire to be at the vulnerable, difficult place. Vanilla men DO NOT have that. They may find it *interesting* on some level and some may even find the rush exciting and thus want to revisit it now and then, but they don't have the burning inside to get there regularly like I have to put a man there. Without that, the only kind of chemistry that can exist between predator and prey is fleeting, sadly.
After reading your post, I think the challenge is that you are seeking sexy, fun, seductive "play" and desire it to be packaged in such a way. That's ok; by knowing exactly what you want, you may find it easier to obtain. But as a dominant woman who has a lot of experience packaging up my kink in the way you describe, you'd have lost me the moment you gave any indication that you were submitting with conditions. Even as a seductress, I never could hold any interest in a man that I sensed was using me in some manner and would only submit conditionally. Those were the guys that I found fell into the "kinky chicks are rad in bed!" category (forgive my slang, I'm sure it gives away how old I am, hah) -- and I could sense that a mile away.
Akasha
_____________________________
Akasha's Web - All original Femdom content since 1995
Don't email me here, email me at [email protected]
|
Do Dommes ever wish that --- - 
Profile
: 
] that's his focus, I don't see the point of "won't give in". 
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread