Termyn8or
Posts: 18681
Joined: 11/12/2005
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Nice that you said that DA. Takes you from sounding like you condone such things to the point where you simply "accept" such things.
That is quite a bit more palatable, at least to those such as I. When I studied some, about law and history, I came away with a different attitude. In the old days I would get pot off the cops, and on a couple of occasions sold them some. Among other things I might add.
But today I approach it differently, as I now see ANY unequal enforcement of the law to be horridly against all the values this country ever stood for. But of course that doesn't mean that if arrested I would be yelling about my rights. If anyone knows the difference between theory and reality in this matter, I do.
Ever throw a brake shoe from a 1976 Olds through somebody's window right in front of the cops ? That one cost me one of my most powerful courtesy cards. And I don't know, if it is like that there, you might like the guy who gave it to me, and then another after I had spent it.
Stormin' Norman. Made seargent, known for killing more suspects than he brought in. Called Blacks "Cooties". Shoot first and ask questions later. Nobody can shoot like the Stormer, and he lost eleven partners and eventually got out for mental distress. All they had to do was team him up with someone who knows how to shoot and it would be like that one TV show I have never seen, but has been described to me. They would have run the west side, but it never happened. In case after case, Stormin stayed alive because he knew how to shoot, and eleven of his partners were not so lucky. He was never indicted or anything, even brought up for disciplinary action, all justifiable homcides. No he did not kill his partners, but he made sure he got out alive.
I saw him recently at the store, he was making copies of some legal documents because he was going in for major surgery. I wonder what he thinks now.
I wonder what I think now. Really.
No matter how serious this was twenty years ago, it was a game to all of us. I played and I played it well. But hindsight being 20/20 do I think it was right ? No. Was it right for when the lights came on behind you, you go to this certain bar and lay on the horn, and then an old guy (Al) comes out and you don't get a ticket ? That is not equality under the law and therefore vehement to me. Yet I was a part of it. And benefitted from it.
Was it right for me to get out of a blatant act of vandalism performed RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE COPS because I had a powerful courtesy card ? No. Sometimes I think I should go see if I can do a few days for that just to even out my karma. Of course that's never going to happen.
But let me tell you something, I invented the term "guilt load". Every time you get away with something, whether by connections or whatever means, there is guilt. Most of the time I dismiss it, but there are other times. Times when I hear of people going to prison or getting beat to a pulp for things, knowing that I have done worse, but got out of it because of lawyers and connections, it hurts me. And there is no taking it back, there is no undoing it. I wish I could. Imagine being terrorized by me and finding out that the law cannot even protect you.
That is wrong wrong wrong.
After while I started to think way too much about it. If I had gotten busted for what I did twenty years ago I would still be locked up. But then I found the light so to speak, and it has nothing to do with religion. I redefined all those things they thought they had defined for me, like equality.
I remember an old guy who had witnessed some of my escapades, he said to me "So you think you are going to get away with this don't you". I replied "I just did". He walked away in silence, but 20 or so years later I know exactly what he meant. It is a part of me, just like those cops who killed Pedro, that is a part of them, forever. Someday when they are retired, drinking a cup of coffe or something, they are going to remember. That will be their minor hell on Earth. And there is no getting out of it. Gone will be all the ambition and gung-honess of the situation. Then logic and justice settle in, and the plain and simple fact is, when you got a five foot three guy handcuffed most likely, can't take any chances cause he might know martial arts, and kick him until he bleeds from every orifice, and then keep fucking doing it, you have committed murder. Live with that. Think about that when you are fucking sixty.
I have killed but I have never committed murder, but they surely did and each and every one of them deserves to die. They had no fucking reason to do that. They may have had plenty of reason to smack him upside the head, not give him sugar for his morning coffee, forget to let him get a shower the next day. Oh yes, make my day miserable and I will find a way to return the favor, but to commit MURDER ? And that is exactly what they did no matter what the court says. They had no legitimate reason to kill him, and if we let that go on, we must let alot of other things go on. Do you ever leave that little community ? If you do, someday the shoe might be on the other foot.
That's why I don't leave here. I got enough bad karma built up that I know that my luck runs out at the city limits. Say you get on route 80 and get stopped by two big Mexican cops and with your license(s) and one says "Hey, that's where they killed my cousin in the jail". You wouldn't be able to find your dick for a month, but in that situation neither would I.
Never get on top by hook or crook, because it will be back. It is a matter of karma in a way, and while I don't believe in anything and I do not believe that there is anything supernatural, people do it to themselves.
I have made it past the point of having to hurt anyone. One day you will be there. I am listening to Opeth - Blackwater Park, and it quieted down as it does in the beginning and I heard a bird chirping throught the window. I am burning one, alone and drinking a beer, mainly because there is nothing else worth a shit to drink right now.
Why would I cause harm to another human being under these circumstances ? Sometimes I don't even think I am entitled to enjoy these circumstances.
Now LIVE WITH THAT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE and it never goes away. I say this, every time you get over, it pulls you under. It might take awhile but nature abhorrs a vacuum.
I got taken to "boot camp" by the cops, and holy fuck, you never seen a trial go so well. I even got my bail back. But I was young and strong at the time. Very strong, almost indestructable. Now I am 47 and 51 is not too far off. I have had ribs broken just a few too many times, and I am not as strong as I used to be. Let me put five years on that, and take eight inches off my height. Now let me imagine getting kicked in the ribs by three or four six foot four cops, while I am handcuffed and can't even block.
I can imagine it, can you ? Until you do, you are not complete. It might take until you are seventy years old, but it will happen, sooner or later.
You have indicated that you thought it was not the best of situations, you can grasp it, but you do not yet imagine it. One day you might have a nightmare about it. It will fuck you up, your Woman will have no idea what is wrong. Nobody you know will have any idea what is wrong. Then you know. And then it is too late.
I'll put it this way, when you are on top, take a look at what you are standing on.
T
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RE: Talking to the Cops NEVER a good idea - 
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