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What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 2:35:38 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline 		I've noticed a fair amount of "Good bye, and thanks for all the fish..." threads in the last 6 months or so. You know, someone gets fed up, has a swan song about how CM is evil, they didn't get what they wanted, they want their money back, yada yada.....

Well, first of all, there are no gaurentees. None. Zip. Zero.

Second of all, if you think that you are going to be one of the few lucky people who actually find a rewarding, honest, deep, fulfilling and real life relationship while combing the scads of internet profiles here, be prepared to have a long wait in front of you. Unfortunately, as the song says, "Ain't nothin like the real thing baby." In other words, you have a much better shot at finding someone with our particular bend if you actually do an active or even a half assed (I'll get to that in a moment) search In Real Life.

Yes, I know, there she goes again, with this "Real Life" shit. Yeah, I know, it's much easier to sit at the computer, look over the profiles, pick a few and get your heart broken via the band width, but here's the upside; you might actually find someone that shares your desires and way of thinking.

Now, I know many of you are 'private' people, and have this image of naked, sweaty orgies in the name of "Public Parties". Clearly, you've never been. And frankly, I'm not even suggesting that. I am, however, suggesting that you go to a munch, and meet real live breathing people whom you might have a nice conversation with and something to eat. That's really about all that anyone can hope for from a munch. The rest, if there is any, is really gravy.

Now, in my defense, I tend to make snap judgements about people in their profile. It's easy for me to put on my "I've been in the scene blady blah number of years, I can separate the posers from the "real" people." While conducting a very half assed search for someone local via the CM profiles, I saw a number of local men who invariably weren't for me. Too tall, too short, weird eyes...you know. We all do it. None of them fit what I was looking for.

It's been my practice to frequent the local munch here, to be a resource for those new folks who are making an attempt to check out the real life scene. About 6 months ago, I was a tad late for our regular munch, and ended up sitting next to a man I never met. Through our conversation, I realized he was one of my 'rejects' from CM. I didn't like what he had to say on his profile.

Well, 6 weeks later we had achieved couple status, and now we are talking contracts and collars. If I had solely relied on CM Profiles to do my research, I'd still be making some half assed attempt to find someone (which really was a full time attempt to keep myself single and emotionally safe) and have missed the pleasure of an incredible Dom.

So, take a chance. Go meet folks. Because really, you never know.

Lily

< Message edited by ProtagonistLily -- 11/10/2005 2:36:02 PM >

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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 2:37:35 PM   
topcat


Posts: 1675
Joined: 1/31/2004
From: Tidewater, VA
Status: offline 		Brillant, Darlin'- as always!

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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 2:48:15 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

So, take a chance. Go meet folks. Because really, you never know.


Lil,
What a GREAT preamble for planning another CM "Gathering". The thought of "...naked, sweaty orgies"...

VEGAS again? LA? NY? (But not in the winter!)

(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 2:52:03 PM   
DesertRat


Posts: 2774
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: NM/USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

So, take a chance. Go meet folks. Because really, you never know.


Lil,
What a GREAT preamble for planning another CM "Gathering". The thought of "...naked, sweaty orgies"...

VEGAS again? LA? NY? (But not in the winter!)


How about having it in southern New Mexico? Nice climate, and equally inconvenient for all...except for me, of course.

Bob

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 4:04:37 PM   
LadyAngelika


Posts: 8070
Joined: 7/4/2004
Status: offline 		Lily,

You know I love you girl! And I agree with all of your post except for this comment:

quote:

Now, I know many of you are 'private' people, and have this image of naked, sweaty orgies in the name of "Public Parties". Clearly, you've never been. And frankly, I'm not even suggesting that. I am, however, suggesting that you go to a munch, and meet real live breathing people whom you might have a nice conversation with and something to eat. That's really about all that anyone can hope for from a munch. The rest, if there is any, is really gravy.


I've been to a Public Party and I've been to a munch. Not my thing. At least I figured that out by going. So I remain a person who live out her kink in a more private fashion. Now does this will reduce my chances of meeting people? Perhaps. But it's a chance I'll take. And to be honest, I'm happy with the results I get. In fact, recently, happier then I ever thought I could ever be.

I do agree with you that you can't rely only on a site like CM. I think it's up to everyone to find the channels that a right for them.

- LA



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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 4:34:15 PM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Lily,

You know I love you girl! And I agree with all of your post except for this comment:

quote:

Now, I know many of you are 'private' people, and have this image of naked, sweaty orgies in the name of "Public Parties". Clearly, you've never been. And frankly, I'm not even suggesting that. I am, however, suggesting that you go to a munch, and meet real live breathing people whom you might have a nice conversation with and something to eat. That's really about all that anyone can hope for from a munch. The rest, if there is any, is really gravy.



I've been to a Public Party and I've been to a munch. Not my thing. At least I figured that out by going. So I remain a person who live out her kink in a more private fashion. Now does this will reduce my chances of meeting people? Perhaps. But it's a chance I'll take. And to be honest, I'm happy with the results I get. In fact, recently, happier then I ever thought I could ever be.


Yeah hon, but the point is, you T R I E D it. It didn't appeal to you. You didn't just summarily decide that it wasn't for you. You investigated, weighed the data and made an informed decision.

The point I was trying to make is that so many people decide this before they've actually experienced it.

Thanks for the nice compliment by the way. God knows we don't always agree with each other but it's always made for fun conversations between us.

Take care,
Lily

_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 4:37:49 PM   
OscarHargraves


Posts: 693
Joined: 8/9/2005
Status: offline 		Well said girl!

The only problem is that a lot of us don't have access to munches et al. Sure would help if we had some more of those (or even just some of those) in my area out West.

< Message edited by OscarHargraves -- 11/10/2005 4:38:13 PM >

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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 4:52:12 PM   
happypervert


Posts: 2203
Joined: 5/11/2004
From: Scranton, PA
Status: offline 		I suspect this message is wasted on the sorts of folks who write the "giving up" posts. My guess is that folks who vent frustrations like that (usually accompanied with some parting shot or guilt trip) will tend to alienate folks in real life as well as they do here.

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(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 5:14:05 PM   
sweetpettjenny


Posts: 674
Joined: 11/7/2004
Status: offline 		NY pleaseeeee
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

So, take a chance. Go meet folks. Because really, you never know.


Lil,
What a GREAT preamble for planning another CM "Gathering". The thought of "...naked, sweaty orgies"...

VEGAS again? LA? NY? (But not in the winter!)


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 5:20:39 PM   
Noah


Posts: 1660
Joined: 7/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily

Second of all, if you think that you are going to be one of the few lucky people who actually find a rewarding, honest, deep, fulfilling and real life relationship while combing the scads of internet profiles here, be prepared to have a long wait in front of you.


I don't understand these complaints about the difficulty of finding your ultimate, perfect fit, one true soulmate whatever thingie via kink websites.

There is obviously nothing special about me and yet nine times out of ten it takes me, like, three weeks max.


(in reply to ProtagonistLily)
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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 6:15:02 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		Queensland Gold Coast where its beautiful one day and perfectr the next. Featuring bikini meter maids and no drop bears. (Just watch out for the Bundi Bear ~ A Polar Bear in the employ of the Bundaberg Rum Distilary)

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Master of Bruin Cottage

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Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to Noah)
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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 7:39:24 PM   
Kasia


Posts: 442
Joined: 6/25/2005
From: The Coast of Adria
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
...if you think that you are going to be one of the few lucky people who actually find a rewarding, honest, deep, fulfilling and real life relationship while combing the scads of internet profiles here, be prepared to have a long wait in front of you..

I am "one of those lucky people who actually found rewarding, honest, deep, fulfilling and real life relationship" in the chatroom. *shrugs*
I found friends on the net too. I even found my maid of honour and best and dearest friend online. I am finding people on the internet all the time.
Maybe the point is I dont go around planning to find anyone - I surf and chat and write on message boards and from time to time I bump into someone I like and is not too far away and then go and meet in real.
In another words - I dont have expectations.

For me the net is just another way of entertaining myself, like going to coffee shops or museums, and yes, way of meeting people. The only difference is I dont have to dress and make up which I dislike

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Kassia

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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 7:57:15 PM   
bladerunner5


Posts: 30
Joined: 9/2/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OscarHargraves
The only problem is that a lot of us don't have access to munches et al. Sure would help if we had some more of those (or even just some of those) in my area out West.



no access to a munch? (are you absolutely sure?) then start one!


Bladerunner
who lives in the land of a dozen munches

(in reply to OscarHargraves)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 8:45:19 PM   
KittenWithaTwist


Posts: 490
Joined: 8/3/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kasia


quote:

ORIGINAL: ProtagonistLily
...if you think that you are going to be one of the few lucky people who actually find a rewarding, honest, deep, fulfilling and real life relationship while combing the scads of internet profiles here, be prepared to have a long wait in front of you..

I am "one of those lucky people who actually found rewarding, honest, deep, fulfilling and real life relationship" in the chatroom. *shrugs*
I found friends on the net too. I even found my maid of honour and best and dearest friend online. I am finding people on the internet all the time.
Maybe the point is I dont go around planning to find anyone - I surf and chat and write on message boards and from time to time I bump into someone I like and is not too far away and then go and meet in real.
In another words - I dont have expectations.

For me the net is just another way of entertaining myself, like going to coffee shops or museums, and yes, way of meeting people. The only difference is I dont have to dress and make up which I dislike


I guess I'm one of the lucky ones too. I met my partner in a kink-based chat room. When I first met him, he drove me insane. Now, I can't get enough of him. Go figure. I wasn't searching when I found him, but I'm glad that I ended up here in the end. I agree with you-I didn't and still don't have any expectations.

But I will say, I'm very shy. I find it a lot easier to spark interest through an email and make sure there's something to pursue, before I go through the serious effort to meet and greet.

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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 8:49:51 PM   
FLButtSlut


Posts: 344
Joined: 3/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

So, take a chance. Go meet folks. Because really, you never know.


Lil,
What a GREAT preamble for planning another CM "Gathering". The thought of "...naked, sweaty orgies"...

VEGAS again? LA? NY? (But not in the winter!)


Winter in Florida is quite nice, ya know. Especially here on the west coast!

I don't know many in the lifestyle here (only lived here a year), and I'm not terribly comfortable going to such an event by myself. IF, however, we had a CM gathering around here, I would definately go, since there are SO many people I would love the chance to chat with face to face (Mercnbeth being in the very top section of the list of course). With a CM event, it wouldn't be like going somewhere by myself, since so many here on the boards have become so familiar and a few I am honored and proud to call my friends.

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 10:59:23 PM   
michaelMI


Posts: 421
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		there are good people here, people you can talk to...possibly trust. then there are other types. but you find them anywhere on the WWW.

all i can say is, never give up, there's someone out there for everyone.


(Are we haing fun, YET???)

(in reply to FLButtSlut)
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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/10/2005 11:05:09 PM   
NakedOnMyChain


Posts: 2431
Joined: 11/29/2004
From: Indiana
Status: offline
quote:

VEGAS again? LA? NY? (But not in the winter!)


How about in the midwest? It's centrally located. And it's near me. I'm poor. No travel for me. (And no soup for you, dammit.)

_____________________________

"Oh, it's torture, but I'm almost there."
~The Cure

"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave."
~The Labyrinth

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/11/2005 12:56:44 AM   
1RottenJohnny


Posts: 113
Joined: 11/12/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

Lil,
What a GREAT preamble for planning another CM "Gathering". The thought of "...naked, sweaty orgies"...

VEGAS again? LA? NY? (But not in the winter!)


This time I'm counting my pennies. Would anyone mind a "tag along"? I promise to be good...really.

< Message edited by 1RottenJohnny -- 11/11/2005 1:34:39 AM >

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Compassion is a wonderful thing...taken in moderation!

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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/11/2005 1:34:52 AM   
FelinePersuasion


Posts: 4792
Joined: 11/20/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: happypervert

I suspect this message is wasted on the sorts of folks who write the "giving up" posts.]



Yup, you're right it is totaly wasted on the ones who post in petulance they're leaving cm sucks, but it does provide others who read the boards like me and others something to read and think on hehe. I get so bored with the boards when all the topic rooms stagnate, that something fresh well thought out and with a point comes in

(in reply to happypervert)
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RE: What if CM doesn't work??? - 11/11/2005 6:16:26 AM   
ProtagonistLily


Posts: 1222
Joined: 12/27/2004
Status: offline
quote:

Lil,
What a GREAT preamble for planning another CM "Gathering". The thought of "...naked, sweaty orgies"...

VEGAS again? LA? NY? (But not in the winter!)


You know Merc, after all the time we took planning this trip, and to have all the people who said they were coming bag out, I doubt that I would be willing to put that kind of time into organizing another trip like this. I might show up, but I'm not going to be the "Girl Friday" on this one hon.

You guys were great, I had a blast, but I wasted a lot of time, and we could have stayed at a better hotel if people had just been honest about their intent to show.

Lily



_____________________________

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"
~Dr. Seuss~

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
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